Title: Something More Comfortable
Author: 'chelle monroe@globalnetisp.net
Series: none
Archive: M & A; SWC; SWAL; anyone else please ask
Pairing: Q/O
Category: Humor/Parody
Rating: G
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: They're George's. I'm just letting them have some much deserved fun and I'll return them unharmed.
Summary: Qui Gon utters the immortal line, "I/m going to change into something more comfortable."
Author's Notes: The bunny for this one came from Mac. A while back she asked for a story with the line "Just let me slip into something a little more comfortable." I tucked it away until it had grown enough to actually hop about on it's own.
My thanks to Mac, The Bunny Mid-Wife.
Thanks also to my partner for the suggestion regarding the yellow circles, which sent this story off into humor territory.
I originally tried to play it straight and serious. But I just couldn't write a serious piece with that line. It came out as hackneyed tripe. Fortunately, my beta reader is honest. So thank you to kaly.
Thank you to Emu for permission to use one of the item's of Qui Gon's which she keeps.

Obi Wan was adding some vegetables to the stew when Qui Gon entered their quarters. Obi Wan went to greet him. His jaw dropped at the sight of his master. He was dressed in purple, bright purple, from head to toe. He took in the "x" of purple fabric crossing Qui Gon's chest. Then his eyes moved downward. The x left his master's navel exposed. The lower edges of the fabric disappeared into skin tight purple fabric. Black leather boots which reached nearly to his knees completed the ensemble. Obi Wan couldn't decide whether to laugh or drool.
"What," he choked out, "happened to you?"
Qui Gon pulled himself up to his full height, tried to look commanding instead of embarrassed. Failed utterly. "It was Mace. He insisted I participate in the welcoming ceremony for the new ambassador from Ethyr. This is their native costume."
"Oh," Obi Wan was nearly strangling on his own suppressed laughter.
Qui Gon sighed. "Go ahead and laugh, Padawan."
Obi Wan shook his head. "That's all right Master. I'm a.." A few giggles escaped. He tried again. "I'm a Jedi. I can resist the urge to laugh at my own master."
He received a grateful, if disbelieving, look in response. "Of course you can Padawan. I'm," he looked down at his clothing, his expression one of distaste, "going to change into something more comfortable."
"Of course, Master."
As soon as the door to Qui Gon's chamber slid shut Obi Wan gave into the laugh he had been suppressing. Shoulders shaking, he returned to the kitchen.
Qui Gon entered the kitchen dressed again in a plain Jedi tunic and trousers.
Obi Wan gave him an appraising look, raised an eyebrow. "So that is your idea of something more comfortable."
"Jedi clothing is designed for comfort and ease of movement, Padawan."
"Yes, but what a disappointment."
"A disappointment?"
Obi Wan nodded. "Whenever anyone utters that line in a book or a vid they return wearing something provocative." Obi Wan gave him a mournful look. "Of course, I'm sure the venerable Qui Gon Jinn, Jedi Master, legendary swordsman and diplomat, probably does not own anything which could even remotely be considered provocative."
'Ahh, so you imagine me to be an ascetic?"
"Of course not, Master." Obi Wan's said in a tone of exaggerated seriousness. "Reserved, yes. An ascetic, never. Then again." He gave Qui Gon a second appraising look, shrugged.
"If that is how you feel, perhaps I should try again." A very slight smile. "I am going to slip into something more comfortable." With that he turned on his heel and left.
Obi Wan stared after him, amazed and curious.
In a few moments Qui Gon returned and this time Obi Wan was unable to contain his laughter. His master was in the doorway, leaning against the side of it, wearing nothing but a pair of underwear. They were white with bright yellow circles on them, and each circle contained two small black circles and a curved line, a smiley face. The very idea of Qui Gon in such an outfit was extremely funny, the reality had Obi Wan sliding to the floor, clutching his sides.
Qui Gon just shook his head. "I thought you could control the urge to laugh at your master."
"I...I..." Obi Wan tried to answer.
An exaggerated, mournful sigh came from his master. "I suppose this doesn't qualify as provocative either. I'll have to try again."
He returned just as Obi Wan was picking himself up off of the floor. This time he was dressed in tight black pants with stripes down the sides, a white shirt, and a black vest.
"Better?"
Obi Wan shook his head. "Yes, but for some reason all I can think when I look at you is scruffy looking nerf herder."
"Scruffy looking?" Qui Gon asked, the depth of the offense written on his face. "I have been called many things over the years, but scruffy looking has never been one of them."
"I'm sorry, Master. Perhaps you should try again."
"It's too bad. This outfit is rather comfortable, although it does make my hand itch for a blaster."
Obi Wan returned to his dinner preparations as Qui Gon went in search of something more comfortable. This time he returned in a pair of black lace stockings and nothing else. The outfit earned him the barest glance.
Eyes quickly flicking upward, Obi Wan merely said. "It's been done."
Qui Gon sighed, again. "But its provocative."
"It's been done," Obi Wan repeated.
Disappointed in his padawan's reaction. Qui Gon returned to his room. This time he emerged in a pair of tight, shiny leather pants.
Obi Wan's eyes widened as he caught sight of his master leaning in the doorway. The outfit definitely qualified as provocative. He swallowed hard, not speaking as he attempted to control his body's reaction to the sight.
Qui Gon took the lengthy silence to mean that he had at last met with apprentice's approval. "Well?"
"It's certainly, ah, provocative."
Qui Gon smiled, enjoying his padawan's reaction. "So it would seem."
"But is it comfortable?"
"Surprisingly, yes."
"Oh."
"What's the matter, Obi Wan?"
"I think it's just a little too provocative, for dinner I mean. Plus I keep getting this image of you jumping around on a stage, sprinkling glitter on your chest."
Qui Gon raised an eyebrow.
Received a shrug in answer. "I don't know why."
"I wouldn't want to disrupt your dinner with images of me and glitter. There has to be something appropriate in my closet."
Obi Wan wasn't certain about that. Frankly, he was wondering where this parade of outfits had come from.
A few minutes later Qui Gon again returned. This time he was wearing a pair of blue pants in an unfamiliar fabric and a vest made of black leather.
This was certainly the best outfit so far, Obi Wan thought. "What are the pants made of Master?"
"I believe it's called denim."
A half, nod, an "hmm" muttered in acknowledgment.
"So you approve."
"It is provocative, and it looks comfortable. But do you really think it is appropriate for a Jedi Master to go about clad in a dead animal hide?"
Qui Gon turned and stomped off. Briefly he considered going to dinner naked, but that would just be letting the boy win. Then he spotted it. Smiling to himself, he hastily pulled off the vest.
Obi Wan was surprised at how quickly his master returned. This time he was wearing a blue shirt, the shade of which matched his eyes. The fabric was soft, flowing, and seemed to say 'touch me.' The pants remained the same. Denim, his brain supplied the word. Yes, denim seemed to suit his Master.
"Well?"
"Very nice, Master. And just in time. Dinner's ready."
Qui Gon accepted the offered bowls and they moved to the table.
"Of course now I'm going to spend the rest of the night trying to get the image of you in that underwear out of my head."
"Just imagine me naked, Padawan. That should work."