The Rent-a-Jedi Gala (Round Robin)



From: Selah Specht
Date: Thu, 30 Sep 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi: the round robin

I gave my reflection a quick grin as I assessed myself in the mirror. Not
bad... once in a while I actually managed to look half decent. I turned
slightly, taking inventory of my outfit. I had decided that for an event as
important as this, I needed to go with THE DRESS. The dress that I've used
for everything from doing a vamp-ish cabaret act to classical singing to
formal occasions to playing evil incarnate in a church play I helped
develop. In short, I liked it a lot. Unfortunately, it was hell to pin
everything in place, but I'd live with it. I grinned again at the image of
me decked out in the ankle-length plum sleeveless dress that was made of
slick, shimmery material and had the top half covered by deep purple
glittery lace. Add drop earings and the right necklace and heels and it was
perfect. Just for kicks I had decided to curl my hair, something I rarely
indulge in because it usually doesn't stay for too long, and pull the top
half back, giving me a look that resembled Qui's style, though much more
feminine. Perfect. I gave myself one last grin before heading for the
stairs, wondering where Liz and my interns were. Probably getting ready and
taking some downtime - they'd needed it after their little shopping
excursion.

I glanced around the complex's large dining room, nodding in approval at
the pristine white table clothes, the fresh-cut flowers, the Artoo units
that were complete with drink or food trays, and the protocol units that
were there to assist the whole catering deal.

"Nice work, T... looks like you got the calvary set up perfectly," I murmured,
nodding at the droid.

"Why thank you, Mistress Ziggy! I must say, though, are you sure the
musical entertainment is fitting?"

My eyes narrowed slightly at the droid as he gestured to where Max Rebo and
his band were tuning up. "I happen to like the Max Rebo band..." I growled
quietly, silencing T for the moment.

Whatever you think is best..." he sighed. "Though I still do not approve of
putting Jedi and Sith in one room-"

"Hey, at least the evening's bound to be interesting!!" I shot back,
grinning slightly to cover up my own terror of that situation.

"And are you sure they should have their keychips?"

"Yes, T. I'm not changing my mind on that. I, for one, don't want to
control a roomful of lustful Force-wielding guys while trying to keep them
from ripping each other to shreds. "Now if you want to…"

"That's quite all right, Mistress Ziggy. I understand, after all!" he
replied before shuffling off to complain to one of the Artoo units. I
allowed myself a sigh, hoping that the council members would approve of all
this. Glancing at the clock I realized that I had to hurry to round up my
gang or else the guests would arrive and there would be no one to greet
them…

"Everyone downstairs, pronto!!" I commanded into my comm unit before
heading upstairs to round up the Jedi. I'd let Liz take care of the Sith; I
just didn't feel up to dealing with any of them yet, especially not Kuhn. I
quickly knocked on doors as I moved down the hall, trying to keep on a
schedule of some sort. I turned upon feeling someone's eyes on me, and
grinned at Qui-Gon's slightly startled reaction to my attire. Not that I
wasn't fighting to keep my mouth closed upon seeing him; it looked like Aya
and Afton had done their job well, even if it had nearly exhausted them.

"Not bad…" I assessed, letting my eyes roam over his body momentarily
before letting them meet his. "I'd say you're ready…" I added, chuckling
slightly at his still slightly shocked reaction. "Yeah, I know, I clean up
pretty good!" I laughed, then turned for the staircase and frowned when I
found myself pushed up against a wall.

"You look…"

"Like a girl?" I finished, grinning impishly.

"I was going to say stunning, but that, too," he chuckled before running
his mouth along the length of my neck.

"Hey…hey!!" I protested weakly, trying to push him off. "Guests will be
arriving soon…besides, I can't afford to mess this outfit up! You don't know
how many safety pins it took to hold everything together!"

"I'd sure like to find out…" he purred against my throat and I moaned
softly before guiding his lips up to mine for a quick kiss and stepping
sideways, away from him. "Later…right now I've got stuff to do and a party
to chaperon," I chuckled and he frowned.

"Chaperon?"

"Mm-hmm…I know how you all think and I know somebody has to keep their mind
on the business at hand!" I laughed, following the Jedi Master down the
stairs to the waiting employees in the lobby.

"Okay, inspection!" I commanded, assessing the ranks. Not bad…maybe this
would work out, after all. "All right, a few last minute things…" I said
steadily, glancing over at the stairs as the other females descended.
"Remember, no weapons or any questionable objects. If I think anything's
missing I'll have to have you guys frisked-"

"That doesn't sound bad at all," Obi quipped, and I blushed slightly as I
noticed that his eyes were having a field day sizing me up.

"-by T," I finished, grinning at the looks from the crowd. "And if you want
to do anything intriguing, that's what your rooms are for…and no hard
substances! And no fighting!!"

"In short, no fun," Maul muttered under his breath. I rolled my eyes and
sighed, hoping that when the council and the other guests arrived that
they'd be able to actually remember the rules. My fears didn't subside as
the doorbell rang and the guests began to arrive…this was going to be
interesting.

*******************************

All right, for those who are curious…this is what's going on! I've decided
that to truly do this right, a round robin is in order, sooooo….

        You are cordially invited to attend an evening of food, music, and
entertainment at the Rent-a-Jedi complex. Dress is formal and a nice heavy
handbag might be nice to beat off all the employees. This is our way of
thanking you, our customers, for your kind support of our company. Please
come and be prepared to have fun!

Ziggy
President of Rent-a-Jedi, Inc

******************


So who's going to be the first to arrive, hmmmm?



===



From: Aya
Date: Thu, 30 Sep 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-A-Jedi RR

I stepped out of the transport and shook the wrinkles out of my dress. I
settled on black for tonight, a long spaghetti-strap sheath dress that fit me
perfectly. My eyes were purple tonight; I'd ditched my trademark glasses for
contacts, something less distracting for me anyways. My hair was piled on
top of my head to make me look taller than my usual 5'2", except for one lock
which fell down the side of my face in a slow curve and ended just at the top
of my cleavage; the perfect eye catcher. Zigs said dress to the nines
tonight. I'm just following orders.

Mace and Qui-Gon were on the front landing having a drink when they caught
sight of me. No recognition but definate appreciation. Good. Mace caught
the door and gave me his usual "hey-Baby" smile. I smiled back, winked at
Qui-Gon and went into the room.

Zigs saw me as I came through the door and came over, smiling one of the most
insincere smiles I've ever seen. "Hi, welcome to Rent-A-Jedi. I'm Ziggy..."
She stared at me a moment, very confused. "Are you one of our regular
customers?"

I laughed then. "No Zigs, but I put up with the guys on a permanent basis."

"Aya?" She was incredulous at first, then smiled.. "Damn I didn't even
recognize you. Whats with the 'Catherine
Zeta-make-every-woman-in-the-room-want-to-scratch-you-eyes-out-Jones' look?"

I giggled. "I wanted to have some fun tonight too. The boys will do
everything in their power to keep us out of the way, impress the clients, the
whole nine yards. Fight fire with fire I say."

Zigs laughed. "Once they read you, they'll know who you are."

"I'm not exactly blending now," I answered. Then I showed her my bracelet.
"But I did borrow this from Adi. A shield against force sensitive people.
They won't be able to read me at all tonight." I gave her a wicked grin.
"Nothing like a little mystery."

She smiled. "Remind me never to get on your bad side. You play mean. I
like that in a person." She escorted me past the now slack-jawed guys,
biting her lip to keep from laughing. "Oh yeah this is gonna be fun
tonight..."

I turned and smiled at the guys. "That's what I'm hoping."

~~~~~~~~~
next?


===


From: "Kathleen Royal"
Date: Thu, 30 Sep 1999
Subject: Re: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi: the round robin


Kathleen, always an early arriver, sneaks through the door. Dressed in
finery, she feels uncomfortable, but sexy. Her little padawan braid rests on
her shoulder. She heads for the buffet table and loads up a plate. Hiding
behind a pillar, in a comfortable chair, she scans the crowd for Qui-Gon.
She flushes at the sight of Maul hitting on another early arrival.
It's gonna be a visual feast seeing all the Jedi and hopefully a chance to
seduce Qui-Gon.
Kathleen settles back, sipping a coke, and waits for the fun to begin.


===


From: "Darth Diebin"
Date: Thu, 30 Sep 1999 11:20:36 CDT
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi RR: Diebin goes to the party.

Blame it on the silliness, the lack of sleep, and the goldfish. :)
~~~~~~~~~
I don't think I ever told Ziggy how much I hate parties.

I mean, it's nice that she wants to have a big gala event--although why she
sent me shopping with the Sith is a mystery I'll never figure out, probably
something to do with the whip--but when she told me I /had/ to attend . . .
that was too much.

All the other interns are downstairs now, Aya looking like a Hollywood
starlet and set on confusing our boys seven ways to the wraithenwoods. And
me? I'm still dressed in my pajamas, having just gotten out of the shower .
. . well, a few hours ago, at any rate. My hair is a catastrophe, I have
only one dress--and that's far too revealing for my tastes, and . . .

. . . and there's someone knocking on my door.

Sighing, I move across the room to open it. Luke is standing there, shifting
back and forth nervously from foot to foot.

"Uuuh, hey, Diebin. I was just wondering, you know, umm, I have a button
loose, and everyone else is already downstairs--and I was just thinking that
maybe you could, I dunno, maybe--"

"Give it to me," I growl, enjoying the way he jumps nervously. Luke is
absolutely terrified of me, even though I've never really said or done
anything bad to him. His eyes are wide as he hands over his shirt, and I
slam the door on his face, stalking into the other room.

Four pricked fingers, several minutes of cursing, and two needles later, and
open the door again and fling the shirt into his arms, once again taking
pleasure in his startled gasp. "Get going," I rumble, pointing downstairs.
"Ziggy will not be amused if you're late."

"Yes Diebin," he says shakily, actually bowing before bolting away. Trying
to suppress a giggle I close the door again, moving across the room.

The dress is still sitting there mocking me. Well, I guess there's nothing
for it--it's that or naked, and I'm certainly not going naked . . .

. . . even though that might be less revealing than the damn dress.

"Never let a man by you a dress," I mumble, shucking off my clothing and
pulling the flimsy contraption over my head. Maul had bought it for me years
ago when we were dating, and after the break-up incident I had shoved it
into the deepest darkest corner of my closet, swearing to never wear it
again.

Turning to the mirror I grimace. Thin straps lead down to cloth that just
barely succeeds in totally revealing most of most of my cleavage. The back
is nothing but a mass of cross straps, ending in fabric just below my hips.
The entire thing goes to mid-thigh, making it impossible to do much of
anything without giving whoever's behind me a free show.

Damn. Why didn't I make a sidetrip today to buy /myself/ a new outfit? Aya
and Ziggy look beautiful and sophisticated down there--I look like a street
walker.

A not particularly expensive street walker.

It's the matter of a few moments to fix my hair, a few exotic looking braids
to go with my 'I'm a cheap hooker' look. Damn, I'm going to be making a fool
of myself. Throwing on shoes, I bolt towards the door, forgoing makeup.

Maybe I should just tell Ziggy I'm sick. Really, really sick. On the other
hand--maybe not, considering what the boys did to her when /she/ was sick.
It was funny when it happened to her . . . but I don't think I'd like it too
much.

So I head out the door, daring life to do it's worst.

Of course, I run into Maul at the top of the stairs.

"Nice dress," he sneers. For a few moments I actually consider how much
trouble I'd be in with Ziggy if I decided to shove him backwards down the
stairs. Probably a lot--though it might get me in with a certain pair of
Jedi . . .

I opt to brush past him, ignoring him completely and heading directly
towards the buffet table.

Three glasses of champagne later and my nerves are somewhat soothed, even
though the appraising looks from the male half of the guests makes me wish I
could escape back upstairs. Or maybe get a sign, "She looks cheap, but she's
not for sale!"

A warm hand brushes against my back and I stifle a gasp, nearly dropping my
fourth glass of champagne. ::If this is another man trying to guess my price
. . .:: I think dangerously, spinning around with words of recrimination
already on my tongue.

Words that die as I resume my usual tongue-tied state, the feeling that
always comes over me when faced with Obi-Wan Kenobi. I avoid the man like
the plague, since he's the only person I've ever met who has the ability to
make me forget. Everything. I don't even know my own name when he's around.

His eyes travel down my body and I flush, trying to figure out an escape
route. It'd be easier if I could think.

"I'm sorry, I thought you were--" his eyes travel back up to mine, and I
forget how to breath. "It is you, Diebin!"

"Yes," I breathe. Not in answer to his question, though. No, I see rescue
coming towards me in the form of Ziggy, floating over to whisper something
in Obi-Wan's ear. He gives her a wide smile before winking at me, heading
off through the crowd towards a lonely looking guest.

"Thank you," I gasp out, giving Ziggy a look of profound gratitude.

She spends a few moments looking at my dress. "Diebin, you look very nice,"
is all she says, giving me a smile.

Gods, I love that woman.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone come to the party!



===


From: "Selah Specht"
Date: Thu, 30 Sep 1999 11:49:09 CDT
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi round robin, chaperon duty

I surveyed the crowd for a few moments, thinking that for the beginning
of this thing it wasn't a bad turnout. Of course, I'm not terribly keen on
these sorts of things, but I'll stand them. Being a pk makes you tolerant of
schmoozing, I suppose. I sauntered around for a few moments to the beat of
the band, taking in the scene as I made the rounds, pausing to pry a
drooling Obi away from a startled Diebin.

"Not a bad turnout..." I turned and smiled slightly at Qui, who seems
slightly bored with the whole concept but is tolerant, at least. I can
relate.

"Yeah...I just hope the council memebers get here soon..." I sighed. "I
don't want them to miss out..."

"They won't...Mace said they'll be along shortly," he reassured me,
suddenly pulling me close and swaying in time to the music.

"You don't know just what horror you've gotten yourself into," I warned
him, grinning. "If it's choreographed I'm a regular Ginger Rogers, but if
not I'm not exactly a good dancer," I explained and he rolled his eyes.

"You're doing fine...you really need to give yourself more credit," he
chided, me, his lips drifting towards mine...

"What the..." I pulled away at the last minute, my attention distracted
by a stealthly concealed movement over by one of the Artoo units serving
drinks. Non-alcoholic drinks. Or at least they were...

"What do you think you're doing?" I hissed quietly so that no one else
could hear once I reached the little scene. Vader merely straightened and I
suppose he tried his best to look innocent.

"It is not you're concern..."

"Like hell it isn't!! Give me the flask!!" I muttered, snatching the
small container from him. "That's strike one..." I warned in a low tone
before moving away at movement coming from the other direction. Maul and Obi
seemed to be in a heated debate about something...

"Stay away from her, Sith..." the padawan was saying.

"And what will your pathetic light side powers do to me? At last we'll
have our revenge..."

"Not at this function, Sith-boy," I growled, slipping between the two
before any blows could be thrown. "Okay, opposite sides of the room...or
else I break out the drill," I warned and both men flushed and retreated to
their corners. Sighing, I glanced around, found that no one was watching,
and snuck a quick draw from Vader's flask before running into the other room
to lock it in a safe place. Normally I don't indulge because I detest
blurring my sharp senses, but there is also the possibility of respiratory
arrest should I mix too much alcohol with a prescription of mine. So, that
little temptation would be put far out of reach, even though I was starting
to feel like I might need it.

The next few minutes went by safely and I started to calm down. The boys
were actually behaving, for once...My attention was diverted as the doorbell
rang and I ran to answer it, straightening as the figures of the council
members entered the complex.

"Good evening, Masters...so glad you could come," I said in a hostess-ish
type fashion, escorting Yoda and co. into the room. He nodded in approval.

"Didn't work, I did think. Control you must have to keep Sith and Jedi in
same room without bloodshed..." I smiled slightly at the compliment and
motioned the council into the room.

"I just hope it stays that way..." I muttered under my breath before
making the rounds once more...

**************************************************

Next up!


===


From: "Afton Prest"
Date: Thu, 30 Sep 1999 16:43:17 PDT
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Re: Rent-A-Jedi Round Robin

I twirled in front of my mirror. Goddess, I loved this dress! I knew already
which dresses Ziggy and Aya had chosen, and had decided to be a teency bit
different.
The dress was short, gold foile-type material, with tapestry-like
decorations of leaves also worked in gold. My hair had been turned honey
blond for the evening and I curled it into a mass of spirals to fall around
my shoulders. A quick visit to a make-up artist had given me smoldering
green eyes, and a lovely face I barely recognized as my own.
I giggled as I slipped on the shimmering gold heels and waltzed out the
door, hurrying downstairs to meet up with the others.

I walked into the room and paused, sweeping my gaze around the people that
were thus far assembled. As long as the Jedi and Sith didn't kill each other
it looked like a wonderful evening. I waved to Daddy, who sent a wave of
protective disapproval about my outfit. Feeling someone behind me, I turned
to face them and found myself face-to-chest with Mace.
"Afton?" Mace said with a hint of disbelief in his eyes. I laughed, slipping
into my party self.
"Yes, Master Windu?"
"I hardly recognize you… You look like a…"
"Grown up?" I asked, grinning.
"Goddess was more what I was thinking. Would you do me the…"
I didn't hear a word after that, as my gaze fell on where Ziggy was ushering
in the Council. Had I remembered to rewire T so he wouldn't be cheering all
night? But that thought was even barely noted as I stared at one man
standing with Adi Gallia. He hadn't been on the Council, but he was a
Master... But he wouldn't be here? Would he?
I realized he was staring back at me. "…the first dance?" I heard Mace
finish.
Damn! It _was_ Nejaa. Well I sure as hades wasn't letting him ruin my fun. I
smiled up at Mace, and took his arm. " I'd love to Master Windu."
"Just Mace is fine."
I smiled. "As you wish, Master Mace." Mace gave me a mock frown. We both
laughed as we made a detour to talk with Ziggy.
This was going to be a night to remember.


===


Date: Fri, 01 Oct 1999
From: Andrea Evans
Subject: Re: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi: the round robin

I finished scrounging round in the back of my wardrobe, pulled out THAT
Little Black Dress. Hmmm. With my DD rack, anything strapless is always a
risk, (and strapless bras are sheer hell to wear), so this was the only
strapless dress I owned. I held it up against myself, peered uncertainly
into the mirror. A slow smirk passed over my face. Awww, what the hell.
What was the point of all that aerobics if I don't get to show my arms off
a bit? And if anyone got a bit rambunctious, well, I'm old enough to have
well and truly earned my doctorate from F.U.

The black skirt was straight, calf-length, slashed on one side to the hip.
The bodice was black, shot with red that gleamed and changed in the light
as I moved. With a wriggle and a sigh I finished the usual
arms-behind-the-back-chimp-impersonations of a woman zipping up the back of
her own dress. I heaved a sigh of relief, but not _too_ large a one. It
still fit. Black sheer-to-waist stockings, and Serious Heels set off the
outfit. When you're my height, five inch stilettos are simply the minimum
that's needed to stop you from staring up most people's noses all night.
The fact that the glossy black, nail-tipped spikes looked lethal was just a
nice bonus. I eyed my reflection and grinned. "Ahh, yes, the Black
Russian: THAT ought to frighten the Jedi!" I said in my best BlackAdder voice.

My hair's straight, falling to my hips, and light brown. I had an idea.
An awful idea. I'd just had a wonderful, awful idea! ...What would happen
if I did? But I shrugged a moment later. Hey, it's just a party, what's
the worst they can do, toss me out? I grinned. It seemed to be my night
for 'what the hell'. I sectioned out one bit of hair behind my ear and
worked it into a tight, narrow braid that hung past my waist. I added the
odd bit of coloured cord here and there, and left the last six inches or so
unbraided. Heh. 'Now _that_ oughtta put the wampa among the tauntauns!' I
thought as I threw on some warpaint and perfume, and grabbed my black fur
coat on the way out (I was careful to choose a vermin species, tribble.
Even I have _some_ conscience, though just see what happens if you try to
get me to admit it!)

Anticipation hummed in me as I stepped into the party room accompanied by
the crisp metallic beat of nail heels. I was loaded for Sith, and I was
going to mount a certain 10-point buck as my trophy by the end of the
night, or find out the reason why!

- Andrea, just loving the idea of the round robin.

(P.S. everything I described here is real: my hair etc, the dress, the
heels and the fur, though it's rabbit).


===


From: "Selah Specht"
Date: Fri, 01 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi: the round robin:

I turned as Afton and Mace approached, giving the council members leave to
mingle. "So, what's the verdict so far?" she asked, grinning at my slightly
anxious expression.

"Besides a couple minor incidents, everything's going fine," I replied,
sighing my relief. "Guess who I saw?" I added, grinning wickedly at her
blush.

"Yeah, well..." I laughed slightly at her expression and at Mace's
confused look.

"Inside joke," I covered, barely letting my gaze follow Nejaa who was
walking with Adi to talk with some of the other masters...

"Even Master Yoda seems to approve," Mace was saying and I nodded in
satisfaction, glancing over to where the master was about to accept a drink
from T...A thought hit me just then. A thought which I had forgotten up
until that very moment.

"Um, Afton you did remember to-"

"YODA YODA HE'S THE DUDE, EVEN IF HE IS A PRUDE!!! Y-O-D-A!!! GOOOO
YODA!!!!!!" My question was answered as T began to dance around that part of
the room, letting his tray fly up into the air...

Yoda, for his part, covered his startled expression by immediately
reaching out a hand and catching the tray and drinks with the Force and
maneuvered them to a table before turning to give me a questioning look.

"Um....um...." was my brilliant reply as I watched T do an impressive
backflip over to where we were standing. Before he could start hollaring
Mace's praise I grabbed him roughly round the waist and proceeded to drag
him out of the room. "Must be some sort of bug...Y2K and all that jazz..." I
replied shakily, while T tried to do a cartwheel in my arms. As soon as we
were out of the room he was fine.

"I am sorry Mistress Ziggy, I don't know what came over me!"

"That's all right, T...but I think I have a new assignment for you for
this evening!" I replied, trying not to let myself freak out or kill the
droid. "You can inspect the supply room!!" I announced, flinging open the
door and shoving him inside.


"But Mistress Ziggy, are you sure about this?"

"Actually no..." I mused, opening the door again just long enough to
deacivate him. Shutting and locking the door, I took a deep breath before
heading back to the room, praying that had been the worst of things. My
fears subsided slightly as I entered to see that everything was going
smoothly for the time being. Now how was I going to explain this to Yoda...


===


From: "Crysta Novelli"
Date: Fri, 01 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Re: Rent-a-Jedi Round Robin

I was so excited! I'd been invited to the party of the century,and there
was NO way I was going to miss it. Thank Gods my prom dress from 2 years
ago still fit!

Reaching into the far corner of my closet, I pulled the beautiful garment
out. It had taken me forever to find it back then, and when I had it was
love at first sight. It was deep blue, which brought out the blue in my
large eyes, and satiny. The body was plain, but the chest was decorated
with a beaded webbing that went from just below my cleavage to up around my
neck. With spaghetti straps that criss-cross over an open back, it was
difficult to get on, but once I finally wriggled into it, the fun began. It
still flowed perfectly over my soft curves, all the way down to my ankles.
I slipped into a pair of strappy 1 inch heels. At 5'8", I never needed to
break my neck with killer heels like so many of my friends, and they all
hated me for it.

I'd decided to curl my shoulder length, golden brown hair, and then swept
the sides up and held them in place with a single gold barrette on the top
of my head. The small gold dangle earrings and gold bracelet, as well as
the make-up that I rarely wore, were the final touches. I took one last
appraisal in the mirror, grinning at how nicely I had cleaned up, then
grabbed my coat and purse and headed out the door.

--------

The Rent-a-Jedi establishment was breathtaking. I stepped up to the door
feeling slightly overwhelmed and a little bit anxious. I was new to all of
this, and didn't really know the other guests that well. Pushing aside my
fears, I stepped into the main room and gasped. So many beautiful, strong
Jedi! I was in heaven! This was going to be fun. I smiled as I caught a
few appreciative stares from the male occupants of the room.

Searching the room for someone I knew was futile, since I only knew the
girls by reputation, so I just succeeded in looking completely lost.
Thankfully, a pretty girl about my same age, maybe a few years older,
approached me. Her purple gown was beautiful and caused several heads to
turn as she passed.

"Hi, I'm Ziggy!" she greeted me. "Are you one of our regular customers?"

"Not really. I'm actually quite new at all of this," I admitted shyly.
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Ziggy. I'm Crysta, and I love what
you do here. Thank you so much for the invitation! It's not often that I
get the chance to go out and meet new people, so I just HAD to come
tonight." I was in awe, and probably babbling like an idiot, but I didn't
care. Finally, meeting the illustrious Ziggy!

She smiled at me. "Come in, Crysta. It's nice to meet you, too! And I
love your dress!"

"Thank you," I replied, rolling in the compliment and amazed at how friendly
she was.

"Now, there's someone I'd like you to meet..." she said, taking my hand an
leading me further into the room.

*Yes, this is going to be one awesome party!* I thought excitedly, following
her.





===


From: "Lady Maul"
Date: Fri, 1 Oct 1999
Subject: SV: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi: the round robin: A new arrival

'Damn!' I had spent too much time painting my Interceptor model. Now I was going to be late for the gala party. "Great. Just great," I muttered when I noticed that I had black paint all over my hands.

After a fast shower I dried my hair with my hair-dryer, and then looked at myself in a mirror. 'So, what shall I do with this mess?' I decided to leave that decision till later, I only brushed it through once.

I started to search for my thin black gloves. With the paint all over my hands, I just had to wear them. Luckily they were easy to find. Then, it was the dress problem.

'The black/red or the royal blue?' I took out both dresses and hang them on the door, stepped back, and examined them. I'm not fond of skirts, so both dresses had trousers. The black/red had tight trousers, and the blue's trousers looked like they belonged to a lady of a harem. "The red/black," I decided and put the royal blue back in the wardrobe, and took out the little black purse that belonged to the black/red dress.

I slipped into the matt black trousers and stretched a little, to see if they still fit. They did. The material followed every movement I made. 'I just have to be able to move, or I will feel like a 'damsel in distress'. A feeling I absolutly didn't like! I looked for my black bra with lace. It would look good in the cleavage.

For a few seconds I studied the jacket. 'Does it still fit?' I wondered. 'Well, there's only one way to find out.' I put the jacket on, buttoned up all the small buttons, and slowly raised my arms. 'Please, don't come apart at the seams now...' I let out the breath I'd been holding. It still fit. 'But I can't do any fancy stuff, though.'

"That was that. Only one problem left. My hair." I sighed, and looked at my watch. "Damn!" I said again. I didn't have time to do something elaborate, so I settled for an ordinary braid that started at the top of my head. At the end I put a red cord. It would look good against the black of my jacket and my almost black hair. Yup. It would have to do.

Should I wear any jewelry? Nah. Besides, I only had a goldring with a green gem, and I didn't want to mix green and red.

I was ready. Time to call an air taxi.

~~~~

I arrived late as I had expected.


I went in, took a look around, and placed myself not far from the entrance. 'Everyone look so beautiful in their dresses. And here I am...' My thought disappeared as I saw some real handsome men. 'Those I'd like to get my hands on,' I smiled. Maul was dangerously sexy as ever and Kun looked real good too. Maybe I would have fun this evening.

I saw some of the council members. 'Hmmm... Wasn't there a Zabrak in the council?' I wondered. 'Yes. There he is.' I smiled for myself. 'Maybe I...'


~~~~~~~~




===


From: "Darth Diebin"
Date: Fri, 01 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-A-Jedi RR: Diebin flees to the kitchen

I'm going into hiding, Chicas. ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Sith certainly have one thing going for them--there are lots of places
in those little outfits of theirs to hide small bottles. Especially Vader's.
That man was a veritable alcohol cupboard--something I discovered fairly
early in the evening.

Okay, so I should have told Ziggy. I had watched her steal the first flash
and take it from the room--but he'd been trying to spike the punch! Now he
was content to keep it to himself--and anyone who would plop down in his lap
and beg nicely.

And oh, I could beg. Still shaken from my encounter with Obi-Wan, I was
perfectly willing to sit in the Sith Lord's lap and pout. Maul glared at me
almost as much as he did Vader--but Maul and Vader never really got along so
I don't feel too badly about.

Another thing I should have done--stopped after one sip. That's all it would
have taken to calm my nerves--and Obi-Wan was far too busy with the clients
to notice one little intern trembling in the corner. I was safe for the rest
of the evening.

But one sip turned to two, turned to three--turned to me giggling and trying
to coinvince Vader that I should get to wear his mask. Rolling his eyes at
my patheticly low tolerance, I was firmly displaced from his lap in favor or
someone with a little more stamina. Fine! I don't care.

Walking casually across the room, my eyes light on a newcomer. She's dressed
in red and black, which makes me instantly think of Maul. Ewww, icky
thoughts. No thinking of Maul.

I make a swift detour, heading towards Ziggy. "Ziggs!" I call out, a little
confused.

"Diebin?" Ziggy looks at me with narrowed eyes. A little part of my brain
goes 'Uh-oh'--but it's a /really/ little part. The rest of my brain is
fuzzily trying to make sure I don't tip over. "Are you /drunk/ Diebin?"

"Ummm--I went undercover, Ziggy. I'm coming to tell you that Vader's got a
lot more alcohol. A lot." I giggle, amused at my own joke--even if I hadn't
made one. The world was really sparkley. I wonder why Ziggy hasn't noticed
how sparkly it is. "Uh, and I think my dress is pretty now. Isn't that
good?"

"I need you sober, Diebin--" Ziggy says patiently, gesturing to someone who
I can't quite see. That's not surprising, though, since the only person I
can see is Ziggy.

Suddenly there are hands on my head, and a strange tingling feeling. The
nice happy feeling of being pleasantly drunk slides away to the slightly
groggy next morning throbbing headache. I wince at the sudden pain,
grimacing.

"Sorry, Ziggy," I apologize quickly, realizing in my suddenly sober state
that I'd really better start talking quickly. "But I got so shook up by,
well--you know--and--"

"That's enough, Obi-Wan. You can take your hands off of her head now. She
appears to have regained sobriety."

Did she just say what I think she said?

I'm almost afraid to turn around, but I do. Obi-Wan is standing behind
me--and he's sure the hell not looking at my face.

"Kitchen!" I exclaim brilliantly, spinning again. "I'll be in the kitchen.
I'll go check on the stuff. I'll be in the kitchen. The kitchen. Stuff."

Ziggy is having a hard time supressing a smile, but I don't particuarly care
as I make a beeline for the kitchen. Damn--and I thought working with
Obi-Wan Kenobi would be fun. Ha! All I get out of the deal is a tied-tongue
and the inability to form coherent sentances.
~~~~~~~~~~~~


===


From: "Selah Specht"
Date: Fri, 01 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi RR

I watched in huge amusement as Diebin ran for her life into the kitchen.
Damn, she was talented enough to sprint in those heels, too. Sighing, I
started to say something to Obi, but he was distracted by Diebin's obvious
discomfort. And then there was the fact that Vader was spiking every drink
in sight. Biting my lip, surprised that blood didn't start to spurt
everywhere, I paled as I noticed the Sith lord parading around the room
again, pouring a bit from different flasks in various cups...one of which
Yoda was reaching for right now...

SCHWOOM!!! "Um, I don't know if you really want this..." I exlaimed
abruptly, intercepting Yoda and the drink tray.

"Strange you are acting. Wrong is something?"

"NO! Um, I mean, of course not!! Everything's under control..." I stammered,
flushing as the artoo unit the tray was on began to pass the Jedi master the
cup with his little grabber attachment thingy. "Oops!" I exclaimed, knocking
the tray and cup off of the droid, much to his dismay. "Geez, I must be
apprehensive this evening...sorry bout that! Clean that up and get a
replacement tray!" I told the disgruntled droid and before rushing away
before I could get roped into anything resembling political discussion with
the Masters. Not a fun way to spend the evening. Not that what I was doing
was any better...

My eyes narrowed to slits as I found Vader on the other side of the room,
completing his round and pouring the last of the liquid out of one of his
flasks. Hissing, I grabbed a nearby protocol droid and instructed it to
quietly have the drinks replaced before stalking over to the Sith lord.
"Kitchen," was the only word I growled before pointing to the door.

"You underestimate the-"

"Will you shut up!? You're not going to do this!! Now I said kitchen and I
want you to get your armored butt in the kitchen *now*!!!!" I snarled, then
flushed slightly as I turned to find Ki-Adi Mundi and Nejaa glancing at us
curiously from where they had been talking about the rising prices of
something or other.

"Is there a problem?" Mundi asked and I chuckled nervously.

"Problem? Naw...just conversing with my buddy here..." I added, grinning
falsely and slinging an arm around Vader. "What's that, Vader? You want to
go to the *kitchen*? Okay, maybe I'd better come with you..." I said,
knowing that it was probably the dumbest thing I could think of, but oh
well. The two Masters regarded me with "do you really have this place under
control?" looks and I sighed. Okay, it was mean, but I needed to get them
off my backs. "Ki, I think Yoda was looking for you to discuss the
inter-planetary relations between, um, between planets! Oh, and Nejaa...I
think Afton's asking about you..." I said, hoping she wouldn't grind me into
a pulp later.

"Really..." he said, surprised, before he wandered off to find her.

"Okay, Sith. KITCHEN!" I snarled, jamming the heel of my shoe into his
boot, giving a triumphant grin as he yelped in pain and followed
me into the room.

Diebin looked up with more than a little interest. "Diebin, watch the
door."

"What are you doing?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

"I'm going to stop this walking liquor store right now...Up against the
wall, Vader."

"You can't-"

"Up. Against. The. Wall." I repeated, opening a drawer and brandishing a
butcher knife, raising an eyebrow. He merely snorted in disdain. Frowning, I
put the knife back and went to find something that might actually work on
him. I grinned as he obediently turned and spread his arms on the wall at
the sight of the can opener. "Good. Now then..."

"You aren't!" Diebin managed as I took a place behind him.

"He was warned and T is in the closet for the moment so I guess the
honor's all mine," I grumbled as I ran my hands over his armor from his
shoulders to his ankles, my look of disbelief growing as I kept finding more
and more vials and flasks. Finally, he seemed to be dry.
"Okay, you can go back," I ordered as he turned to face me. "But this is
strike two...don't make me get ugly," I warned him as he sighed and silently
went back to the party. Grumbling, I purposefully grabbed each bottle and
poured their contents into the sink, then turned at Diebin's laugh.

"I did warn him..." I defended myself.

"Do you realize that you just frisked Vader?" she giggled and I had to
laugh.

"Yeah, yeah, all part of the job, I guess..." I sighed, emptying the last
flask. "You coming?" I asked as I started for the door, grinning as she
shook her head vehemently. "I can't have you staying in here all alone," I
said slyly and her eyes got as wide as dinner plates.

"Ziggy...don't you dare send him in here!!"

"Oh, I won't...yet...but if things get heated in there I might send him in
here for awhile to cool off," I said lightly, then ran for it before she
could grab a sharp object and come after me. Upon entering the party again
it all seemed to be in order. The protocol droids were discreetly replacing
drinks, but I wondered who had already sampled the spiked refreshments. Ah,
well, I suppose I'd find out soon enough. Hopefully both sides would control
their tempers and nothing else would happen...

Yeah, right. Sighing, I put on a brave face, went to greet the next guest,
and prepared myself for whatever would happen.


===


From: "Per'agana"
Date: Fri, 01 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi RR

Liz smiled as she put the finishing touches on her costume for the evening.
It had been such a hectic day, between helping Ziggy with the decorations
and trying to stop herself from shish-kebobing the caterer with her practice
lightsaber, it was a wonder she was able to find time to get dressed!

She grinned at the mirror and did a few quick twirls in her new gown. This
one was spectacular—backless, with a rich royal purple silk-satin ballroom
skirt, halter bodice, and shimmering stole. She'd actually managed to con
Luke into painting on the small, intricate tattooes (actually Sith glyphs,
but he didn't need to know that) that traced a line up her spine and across
her shoulder blades. Her black hair was piled on top of her head, held in
place by a headband dripping with black and teal feathers. A knock at the
door interrupted her inspection. "Come in," she called.

R3 was first into the room, his squat silver body polished to a gleaming
shine and a purple bow tied around his domed head. "I *like* the bow, R3!"
she said with amusement. R3 let out a string of sarcastic, farty-souding
bleeps.

"One of the interns' idea, I think", said Exar Kun's soft voice from the
doorway.

"Good evening, my master", Liz said, grinning at him. Kun looked every inch
the Sith and the Lord in his low cut black silk robes, bronzed Sith amulet,
and voluminous cape. His narrow waist was tightly cinched in black leather,
and his ebon hair was unbound for once, cascading down his back and over his
shoulders.

"You are *quite* the sight when you aren't all sweaty from lightsaber
practice, my apprentice", Kun said sardonically. He stepped toward her and
ran his hand up the tattooes, calling out the names of the glyphs. The
combination of the harsh-but-sensual Sith language and Exar's smooth voice
made her weak-kneed every time. "A most excellent choice, you have Naga
Sadow's complete fascination spell here", he remarked. "I suspect that
little Jedi had absolutely no idea what he was painting."

Liz simply smiled at him in response. "Where's Maul?", she asked.

"I believe he said he was looking for someone named...Andrea. I hear she's
quite taken with her....'ten-point buck,' as she put it."

Liz narrowed her eyes and glared daggers at him. Kun sounded *way* too
amused over this.

"You're quite possessive for someone in *this* business, my dear
Per'agana."

She shivered, like she did every time he called her that. To be called "dark
mistress" by a Sith Lord is quite the honor. "I didn't think it was quite
Sithly of me to be so ready to share my Masters."

Kun's emerald eyes sparkled with amusement. "Even with our clients? That
*is* why we're all here, despite our pleasure at finding such a promising
new addition to our ranks. Besides....we share you, after all..."

Liz turned red with embarassment, completely aware he was baiting her and
obviously greatly enjoying it.

Kun grinned evilly at her. "Ready to face the madding crowds?" he asked,
hesitating as he saw her stiffen. "You're upset about something. Not Maul
being charming with the clients, but something else. What is it?"

"I haven't seen the Jedi council since before I became Sith, Exar. I'm a
little worried..." Liz said softly.

He ran his hand down her face. "Don't worry. We would never allow them to
harm you or fire you, little Per'agana." His face broke into a feral smile.
"Oh, and don't think we'll be leaving you to be bored and alone all evening,
either, my apprentice. In fact, I think you'll find tonight to be a most
*interesting* evening."

He offered his arm and I curled into it, glancing suspiciously at him. Ziggy
was probably *not* going to like this.... I resolved to try to stop him from
causing *too* much trouble, but also to enjoy this beautiful evening with my
Sith Chick sisters. Now, if I could just keep Vader out of the sauce....



===


From: MercyMoon
Date: Fri, 1 Oct 1999
Subject: Re: [Sith_Chicks] Re: Rent-a-Jedi Round Robin

I squirmed while reading the invitation. The last party I attended was a
disaster; I got drunk, jumped on a table, proclaimed myself Sailor Moon -
Enemy of the Negaverse then made out with my friend's husband. There was
something about alcohol that turned me into a horny Sailor Scout. Oh well, at
least I can make out with some Jedi and Sith. The dress was an easy chioce;
long, white, backless, with shoes to match. I put my hair into 3 buns; one on
each side of my head and one in the back.
My nerves started doing backflips as I approached Rent-a-Jedi
headquaters. 'I don't know why I'm nervous, it's not like I haven't placed
orders before.,' I said remembering the chocolate mess with Obi-Wan, the
chocolate mess with Qui-Gon, the chocolate mess with Maul, the chocolate mess
with....
The door opened to reveal Miss Ziggy who looked breathtaking. She showed
me around the place and introduced me to everybody else. I was talking with
Exar Kun when a loud laugh caused me to look around and see a very drunk
Diebin scream that she's running for the kitchen. That was my green light to
get drunk too! Excusing myself from the Sith Lord, I walked directly to the
bar.
"Come here often, do you?," came a gravely voice. Oh no, Yoda was hitting
on me. "Hurt, it must have when fell from heaven you did. Party in my pants,
invited you are, yes." I quickly downed my Long Island Iced Tea, and ordered
another. This was going to be a long night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~Melanie



===


Date: 1 Oct 99
From: Siduri Archanes
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi RR: Enter the Sith Whore

((This is my first time composing something such as this, as I am more
accustomed to role play, so please bear with me. The character is Siduri
Archanes, Sith Warrior and slut extraoridinaire.- For a detailed description
and history of such fictional person,
http://homepages.go.com/~siduriarchanes/index.html which also has a lovely
"talking Maul" at the bottom of the page, made by a role playing friend of
mine.))



*On the landing pad adjacent to the complex rested the Nockmaar, the private
yacht of the Sith Warrior Siduri Archanes. The gangway was already extended
and from the confines of the vessel appeared the Warrior herself, slowly
drifting downward, the darkness wrapped tightly about her person.*

*Siduri had never been to this planet, whatever that might be, before,
although it had come to her attention that many of her bretheren, including
those whom she had thought were long since dead, would be gathered at such a
place this evening. Indeed, she had not been invited, but that had never
stopped her before; she was noblility, the one of the last of the royal House
of Dennon, the ancestral ruling House on her homeworld of Praesitalyn- the
planet was completely in her control until her son Tamron came of age to rule
it in the name of the Sith Empire. Thus, having a son who appeared to be 14
years, one would assume that the mother would be at least in her 30s, and yet,
Siduri was only 22 standard years, the boy's age having been accelerated by
the darkness itself, as in actuality he was under a standard year.*

*Nor had Siduri lost her figure, nor any of her beauty due to the pregnancy.
It was quite apparent as she headed toward the party: her long firey tresses
curled and unbound, cascading down her back, and covering the ivy and rose
tattoo covering her shoulderblades; her deep brown eyes accentuated with heavy
kohl liner; her cruel lips, painted bright red and curled into a smirk; and
her tall, slender figure ((5'8 1/2")) clad in sheer jade green tight-fitting
floor length gown, with minisclue straps and a low-cut neckline. Indeed,
underneath the fabric, one could easily see the matching pair of silver rings
embedded within her nipples, and the navel ring attached to a chain that sat
upon her hips. Strapped to her thigh, was the elegant Noghri dagger Siduri
had taken from a rival upon being initiated into the Sith; her bow and quiver
as well as the saber she had built and the other she had been given, she chose
to leave with her pilot and slaves aboard her yacht. A matching jade thong
concealed her lowermost region and other piercing, adding the only aspect of
social decorum her physical presence would suggest.*

*With an air of haughtiness that one can only expect from a Sith, and a noble
born one at that, Siduri entered the building. She cast her dark eyes about
the room, the overwhelming stench of the lightsiders causing her to wrinkle
her nose. She did not know any whom her eyes met, nor she supposed had many
known of her unless they had journeyed to the Sulis Sector. Perhaps only a
Falleen would know, as her people and that race had a mutal hatred sparked by
that of Xizor, himself, the murderer of both Siduri's parents when she was
just a child.*

*Droids begin to attempting to serve her as she progresses into the ballroom,
though Siduri waves them aside with a brush of darkness through telekinesis.
She feels many eyes upon her body, it being quite visible under the thin
covering of green dress, and she smirks, as Siduri has always used it to her
advantage, as she shall yet again, now that her mate is dead. Silent, she
merely watches for now, keeping her bloodlust in check as the foolish young
lightsiders scurry by*



Siduri Archanes
Sith Warrior/ Sith Whore
newly arrived


===


From: spacefan
Date: Fri, 1 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-A-Jedi round robin

Well Hi it's me My-Gin-Gone again. Trying again to throw my wordprocessing program into the fiction ring. I hope you guys like this one. I'll keep trying. So here goes....

I reluctantly entered the building that held the Rent-A-Jedi Gala. It was almost laughable that I would reopen that chapter of my life again, even after I swore off Jedis forever. I glanced at my reflection that mirrored itself off the black obisidian wall beside me.
It was almost a perfect mirror with the exception that my own reflection shone back at me.
//Okay Gabrielle stop it.// I told myself, //I know your nervous and yes He will no doubtedly be there. But you two have moved on and this is for a good cause.//


"Yeah right." I snorted and checked out my reflection. My floor length, off the shoulder black dress hugged the curves of my body. The satiny/stretchy material hung gracefully at my hips and bossom, allowing the movement I needed to stay comfortable. The long sleeves were already threatening to overheat me but I didn't plan on staying too long and the nights in Coruscant could be oh so cold. My deep brown nearly black hair hung gracefully behind my shoulders accentuating my caramel colored skin.

I could hear music and laughter wafting out of the great ballroom beckoning me to enter the festivities.
"No time like the present." I said summoning up courage and wiggled my five- foot- two inch frame in order to straighten out a stray wrinkle.

        I entered the hall to find a party like no other. Festive music greeted me while droids of silver and gold darted in and out of the crowds serving drinks.
The expansive room with the cathedral ceilings added to the merry yet intimidating atmosphere. It was intimidating because instantly anyone with a midicholorian count of two could feel the forces of light and dark barely keeping each other at bay.
//By the gods of George Lucas. Someone sure as hell got balls for throwing this thing.// I mused staring wide eyed at the throngs of Jedi and Sith in the same room.

"Excuse me madam." A tall silver humanoid looking droid intoned interrupting my thoughts.
"Yes?"
"May interest you in a glass of Jovian wine?"
"Thank you." I smiled and took the glass off the tray. It was good. Very good.
        
I strolled around the room hoping to find a friendly face. Before I knew it the glass was empty. I replaced it more deftly than a Knight would before the droid could pass me by.

~~next~~


===


From: "Celeste L'Pauvre"
Date: Fri, 01 Oct 1999 21:54:22 PDT
Subject: Re: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi RR

Ok, here goes something.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So. Rent-a-Jedi, eh?" My roommate wore an expression that could only be
called superior. A knowing smirk and waggling eyebrows disappeared and
reappeared behind a fancy little card she waved to and fro. "I thought you
were dating that holovid student at UNO...."

I let out a sigh, I was busted. "Yes, well. I was, er, exploring my
darkside?" I replied, not very convincingly. I could feel the blush creep up
to my hairline under her nodding scrutiny.

"I thought you were just in *looooove* with that old guy...what's his name?
Jinger, Jon-Jon...."

"It's Qui-gon Jinn," I corrected through gritted teeth. "He's not old and
he's always booked. Even his sidekick. Besides, I was curious. Getting in
touch with my Darkside and all. Sometimes, you have to try new things and
I'm not quite sure Mark is ready for a round of 'Tie Me Up/Tie Me Down'. He
wears black leather but I don't think...." I let myself trail off. It was
the truth but it sounded like such an excuse. I had just thought to try the
exotic for bit.

"So, are you going to this thing?" She fluttered the card again.

"If you'll let me see what 'this thing' is." I snatched the thing out of her
hand and took a good look. "Hmmmm. This could be interesting...."

~~~~

Now that I stood in front of the mirror adjusting electric blue fabric that
the salesclerk had assured me was a dress, I was petrified. What the *hell*
was one supposed to talk about at this kind of thing? I had been to gala
events before but never for a, well, an outcall service! I thought about
some of the things I'd been up to with certain personnel and couldn't
imagine what sort of small talk might develop.

"Okay, I'm ready! Let's go!" My roommate fairly leapt into my room to primp
a final time in my mirror. She caught sight of me in the mirror next to her
and turned to fuss with my dress. "No, this is supposed to go here and this
does this, suck in, now shake....Much better!" I had to admit, she was
right.

"Where do you think you're going?" I hated that smile. It meant evil was
going to happen to someone...and I was going to get the blame.

"With you, of course! I want to have a look at these guys, see what you've
been spending your student loans on. Mmmmm, hold on a sec," she tugged a
little on the bright blue streak of hair at my right temple.

"Hey! That took quite some time to style, y'know!" It had, too. What I was
thinking when I decided I needed a streak of blue to go through the blonde
streak in my bloodred hair was beyond me. It did look nice all braided into
a pair of small crests that kept my hair out of my face and led elegantly
into obnoxiously cute ringlets. "And, last time I checked, you were neither
interested in the Jedi nor was your name on the invite."

"Like they'd turn away a potential customer," she tutted. "Maybe I want to
explore *my* Darkside. Let's go already! We're late as it is!" After one
last adjustment of her own attire, twisting on the heels of her FM
thigh-high boots and giving her boobs a bit of a toss for proper tabling at
the top of her hunter green leather corset, she grabbed my arm and off we
went, the swish of shimmery blue silk and the slap of long green leather
strips echoing in our wake. So much for formal attire.

~~~~

"Welcome to Rent-A-Jedi! I'm Ziggy, glad you could make it!" Her smile was a
little strained, but she did seem genuinely glad we'd shown up.

"Thanks!" Kris shook her hand enthusiasticly, "This looks like some party!"
Her eyes roamed the room, probably undressing all the men in turn.

"Give her hand back," I hissed, smiling apologetically. "Yes, thanks for
inviting us. Business must be good." I said to our gracious hostess. "I see
you have the Sith mixed in, too."

Ziggy's smile stretched a little thinner, "Yes, um, excuse me....Enjoy
yourselves....!" She rushed off, apparantly seeing some disaster in the
offing.

"Ooooh, I wonder what I might could tie him to with that little braid of
his...." Before I could stop her, the stalking of Obi-wan Kenobi had begun.
I watched her slinking hurriedly, which I hadn't thought possible, towards
her prey. At least now I knew what to get her for her birthday....

I rolled my eyes heavenward and caught a glimpse of Darth Maul lurking in my
general direction. Having no idea what I might possibly say, I decided the
bar would be a good place to be right now. Yes, a very good place....

~~~~~~

Okay, that's us. The friend who reads over my shoulder all the time insisted
I bring her. She's trouble. I love these stories and am very grateful to be
allowed to participate! Thanks!!!!!



===


Date: 2 Oct 99
From: JediPatricia
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi Round Robin


Now this is just what I needed to get me out of TPM hangover. That story will
be coming later...

--------------------

I was late. Terribly, terribly late. I HATED being late. I actually considered
not going to the party, but I decided to be bold. After seeing TPM for the
first time last night, seeing the Jedi boys – especially Qui-Gon – was sure to
get me out of the shock state I was still in. Hell, I'd read it on the Net,
I'd bought the book, I'd bought the comic, and still seeing it on the big
screen made me feel depressed.

But things were not going well. Since I'd been too busy on Friday, I only read
the mail on Saturday – 10 hours before the party was scheduled to begin. Now I
stared helplessly at the two dresses displayed in bed. Red velvet or blue
silk? Either would go nicely with my tan skin and raven hair, but I was at a
loss. To make things worse, Dad phoned in.

After the customary small talk, I quickly said "Uh, Dad? I'm running kind of
late to a SW costume party... and I haven't even decided what to wear..."

"And here I thought people in these fan parties only cared about whose
lightsaber is bigger..." he said in blissful ignorance. Of course I wasn't
about to tell him I was going to a gala commemorating the success of a
business venture which involved renting Jedi Knights and Sith Lords to eager
fans. And that the question of "whose lightsaber is bigger" was likely to take
more ominous tones when the two groups were actually together in the same
room.

"Dad, it's not whether other people will like it or not. If I don't feel
pretty I won't have any fun. I'll just be thinking "I should have worn the
other dress"!" He gave up trying to understand the female nature and I
promised I'd call him the next day.

I wasn't sure about the red dress – the thing might clash with Maul's tattoos
– so I decided for the blue one. Choice made, I returned the red dress to the
closet and poured the contents of my make-up box on the desk. I selected a
pearl/purple eyeshadow and a burgundy lipstick with silver gloss. After
struggling with the silver eyeliner I actually managed perfect lines at the
first try and finished the make-up with black mascara, which emphasized my
already long eyelashes.

The dress had a silver embroidered short-sleeved top that ended just below my
breasts, giving way to several thin layers of turquoise silk that flowed
around down to mid-thigh like a water cascade. I paraded around in front of
the mirror and regarded my white heels disapprovingly. They just didn't seem
right. Then I remembered the silver stilettos Mom had forgot after their last
visit. If Mom were my age she'd have tattoos and blue hair... she was born
before her time. Which is great because we can share clothes. And shoes.

I dug for the said things and finally found them without making too much a
mess of my hair. Thank the Gods I left that for last. They were impossibly
high: I'd break a leg if I took a wrong step, but they looked good, and those
heels might come in handy as a lethal weapon.

The hair. Taking a comb and glitter wet gel, I parted my short-cropped hair
sideways in a zigzag line and brushed it behind my ears, except for a small
lock each side. With two silver earrings on each ear, it made me look like an
Elfin queen. Force-Boys beware, I thought to myself. But no, something was
missing... rummaging around my jewel box I found a heavy silver bracelet,
engraved with ancient designs, and after putting it on my right wrist I
decided this was as perfect as I'd ever be. Perfect, but late.

I quickly grabbed my purse and splashed some perfume, then dashed downstairs
as fast as my heels would let me. Things started to look brighter when I
actually found a cab in less than 5 minutes – but I regretted telling the
multi-tentacled pilot I was in a hurry the moment he started the engine. Those
Coruscant cabbies were known for their suicidal piloting, out of the skylanes
and around the mile-high skyscrapers, and my ride was no exception. He must
have been a failed Podracer, I realized, too terrified to scream, as the cab
initiated an almost vertical plunge that ended as abruptly as it began, just
in front of the Rent-A-Jedi building.

I paid the fare and slowly stepped out of the cab, pausing to check if all my
body parts, especially my stomach, were still in place. /Oh well, it's not
likely you'll be eating much anyway/, I thought with a sigh, then walked to
the front door with all the poise I could gather, stealing a glance at my
watch. 8:35. The invitation said 8 o'clock, and in any normal circumstances I
would be there by the second. The concept of "fashionably late" was alien to
me. Oh well.

I handed my invitation to the attending droid, already hearing the mixed
sounds of music, talking and laughter. Taking a deep breath, I went in...



===


Date: 2 Oct 99
From: JediPatricia
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi Round Robin

There were Sith Lords and Jedi everywhere I looked – no, actually the Sith
were sort of gathered on the left and the Jedi on the right... I didn't know
anybody, so I looked around nervously trying to find a place to hide. /I
shouldn't have come/, I thought, and turned to the buffet table when I almost
trampled a green dwarf... OH GODS.

I stared down into the wizened face of Master Yoda. He took in my terrified
expression and said somberly, "I sense much fear in you..." I nearly fainted
right then and there. Yoda raised his ears and his expression became amused;
only then did I realize he was jesting me. "So frightened are you... fear the
Jedi able will not be to protect you from the Sith? Or fear you the opposite?"
He asked, raising a brow and doing the Greatest Jedi of All Time And No, Size
Matters Not thing.

"I... uh... it's just that I don't really know anybody..." I stammered,
wanting to crawl under the table but realizing that given his height it
wouldn't do much good.

"First tell me your name you must... mine I sense you already know..." he said
cheerfully. He looked a bit tipsy, but still very much his usual self.

"I'm Patricia... I'm very pleased to meet you." I managed to say in an even
tone.

"Pleased to meet you also. Come.. introduce I will then..." I decided to hell
with it and followed the little guy around. I was so intent on looking down so
as not to lose him I only realized where – and to whom – he was leading me on
the last minute. Seeing Yoda stop near two sets of Jedi robes, I looked up –
and found myself staring into the piercing blue gaze of Jedi Master Qui-Gon
Jinn.

Yoda proceeded to the introductions, acting as if he hadn't noticed the sudden
rise in my core temperature. "My new friend you must meet... Patricia her name
is..." he said, flashing me a smug grin. I didn't know whether to kiss him or
grab that bloody gimmer stick and hit him in the head with it. "Mace Windu
this is... head of the Jedi Council..." he said, gesturing to the dark-skinned
Jedi next to Qui-Gon. I bowed to him and he bowed back. Then he introduced
Qui-Gon, who regarded my with an amused twinkle in his eyes. "My former
student Qui-Gon Jinn, Jedi Master."

Qui-Gon took hold of my wrist and took my hand to his lips before I could
react. His beard tickled, reminding me of other places where it had tickled
too. I wondered if the foundation would conceal my blushing face. Better
still, I wondered how much time I had left before I turned into a puddle of
goo. Meanwhile, Mace was looking at me as if I'd sprouted an extra head and
Yoda looked quite pleased with himself. Qui-Gon released my hand and said, "So
nice to see you again."

"Nice to see you too," I said in a neutral tone. Oh if he only knew how much.
If he only knew how I'd cried for him just last night. And how good it felt to
see him here, alive and breathing.

"Actually Master," he said turning to Yoda, "Patricia and I are somewhat of an
old acquaintance..."

"Really?" Yoda feigned surprise, raising his brows. I tried to control the
urge to shove that gimmer stick where the suns don't shine. "See, young
Patricia. Wrong you were. Someone on the party you do know."

"Yeah, and now I know three someones." I said in a flash of inspiration,
faking a smile.

"Care to dance?" Qui-Gon asked with a smile on his lips. I looked into his
eyes and tried not to collapse sobbing in his arms. I had to get away from
him. How could I ever think seeing him again would make me feel better?

"Uh, maybe later, I think I'll mingle some more..." I answered, and nearly ran
away from three stunned Jedi Masters.




===


Date: Sat, 02 Oct 1999
From: Lora Jurisa
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi round robin

Chalk it up to a lack of sleep--- love all your stuff,
chicks---y'all are such a bad influence on me ;-)

Lora Jurisa

*************************************************************

Fashionably late, as always, I showed up. The party itself
was in full swing. Perhaps tonight this is just what I need-

a chance to forget about the all of the crap in my life,-
the campaign, the stupid people I work with, the chick that
hit my car this week, at least for tonight. My aim was to
let loose and have a little fun- and that invitation from
Ziggy promised just that.

"Here, you look like you need this." a husky voice sounded
from behind me. A hand offered a vodka martini to me.

"Thanks, one of my favorites. An extra olive too..."

"Of course. Allow me to introduce myself- I am Qui-Gon
Jinn."

"Lora Jurisa."

"A pleasure to meet you, Lora." he said as he kissed my
hand. "That dress looks wonderful on you."

I smiled sheepishly- it was my favorite dress. It was a
sleeveless burgundy satin dress which was embroidered with
small gold flowers. Cut a little snug for my usual taste, it

also had a v-neck.

"Oh, I brought it for a wedding some time ago."

"Must have been some wedding..." Qui-Gon remarked as I
caught him admiring the way it draped around what curves I
did have.

I took a sip from my glass and looked up into his eyes.
Those eyes just captivated my complete attention.

His eyes narrowed a bit. "You seem a bit tense. Turn
around."

I complied and he took a step closer to me. His large hands
came up to my shoulders and squeezed slightly. He bent down
to whisper in my ear, "Have you heard much about our Jedi
relaxation techniques?"

His fingers started to caress my shoulders, gently at first
but then gaining in strength. *Mmmmmm, gods, this feels so
good*

*That's just the beginning, my dove.*

Closing my eyes, I felt my tension ease away. This was
definitely worth taking the night off.

His hands moved up slowly, enveloping the nape of my neck.
His body leaned in closer, his chest rubbing up against my
back. I felt his lips nuzzle my ear. I couldn't help but
moan slightly- this was just one of my favorite things.

I felt his mind brush against me, *I know all of your
favorites*

Suddenly, I was tackled to the floor by someone, my dress
was soaking wet! What else could go wrong this week. I
looked up to find Obi-Wan Kenobi sprawled over me with an
empty pitcher- the entire contents of blue margaritas
soaking me and my dress.

"Padawan," Qui-Gon mumbled.

"Sorry, Master, it just that Diebin was..."

"I don't care. That's no excuse. Now take our guest upstairs

and help her get cleaned up."

"Do you mind?" I asked. "I'd like to get up."

"Sorry," he meekly apologized.

"You should be," I muttered. I stood up, dripping wet. "You
even made me spill my drink too."

Scowling at him, I grumbled, "Now, I know where you got the
name Oafy-Wan." Cursing under my breath I marched upstairs,
with Oafy-Wan following me.


===


From: "Darth Diebin"
Date: Sat, 02 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi RR: Blue Margarita

Wheee! I like it in the kitchen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I swear--Ziggy has it in for me. I didn't think she was a mean woman when I
started working for her, but she has got a definite cruel streak where her
sense of humor should be.

Or maybe it really is funny to watch me stutter over my own words and turn
red in the face whenever in the presence of a certain Padawan. I've never
been able to find the humor in it myself, but I guess that's just me.

The second time Obi-Wan popped into the kitchen to 'pick something up' I
started getting suspicious. Ziggy had to be sending him in here just to
annoy me. After all, we have droids to deliver food and drinks--the boys
were supposed to be out mingling among the guests and showing off their
considerable talents, not looking for margarita mix in the kitchen.

Then again--maybe it wasn't Ziggy. She'd declared the night a champagne-only
evening--nothing stronger was on the menu. I had a sneaking suspicion that
the Jedi and Sith were combining their efforts to get the visiting ladies
roaring drunk--but who was I to accuse such fine upstanding characters of
such immoral behavior?

"Diebin, could you help me?"

Turning slowly, fully aware that swift movements made my dress fly up in a
most undignified manner, I came face to chest with the man I least wanted to
see.

"Uhh, yea." Anything to get him out of the kitchen.

"I don't know how to mix this," Obi-Wan says plaintively, holding up a
bottle of tequila in one hand and some margarita mix in the other. "And I
really don't know how to work a blender."

It takes me several moments to figure out what he's talking about, and even
then I'm forced to take a few steps back. Having him within five feet of me
is not conducive to thought.

"Margarita. Umm, are you supposed to be making that?" I'm relatively sure
that the answer is 'no' . . . but right now he could probably convince me
that I'm the same species as Yoda if he really tried.

"C'mon, Diebin," he says softly, moving forwards again. I scurry back just
as quickly, putting a table between his body and mine.

"Fine, okay!" I need him out of the kitchen before I combust. I can feel my
body temperature rising rather rapidly--maybe a visit to the walk-in freezer
will do me some good. "Give me the stuff."

Obi-Wan grins that cocky grin of his and drops the mix on the table,
depositing the bottle in my hands. "I'll get the ice," he whispers, giving
me the kind of look I only dream about.

In those dreams that you never tell anyone you have.

I'm not exactly an expert drink-mixer, but I manage to get everything
finished in a fair amount of time. Pouring it all into a pitcher I shove it
into his hands, backing off with every intention of sitting in the walk-in.

Maybe for a half an hour.

I'm already headed there when I feel the hand on my shoulder, making me
jump. His hands are cold from holding the drink--and my skin is most
definitely warm.

"Thank you," a voice whispers in my ear.

I freeze. Ziggy /had/ to have put him up to this, damn her! Obi-Wan had
never even noticed my existence before, except as the intern who cracks the
whip when the employees misbehave.

I decide to tell Qui-Gon that Ziggy is sick again. Let them lock her in her
room for a while--serves her right. After all, isn't everyone always ranting
about turnabout being fair play?

Obi-Wan's breathing on my neck now. Distraction--distraction. I need a
distraction! I'm going to melt into a little puddle on the floor in about
two seconds.

Damn Jedi and their damn seduction techniques. Couldn't he at least be /bad/
at it?

With the heat of his body pressed against mine, I can think of just one
thing to do.

Lifting my foot up, I smash my considerable heel down on his foot, shoving
away from him and beelining towards the walk-in. Cool air. That's what I
need. Lots and lots of it.

I can hear him cursing and hopping around as he heads out the door--and a
muffled thud as he apparently collides with another body. I only hope it's
not one of the guests--the last thing Ziggy needs is to have blue margarita
all over the clients.

Well, Obi-Wan can clean whoever it is off. With his tongue, hopefully--keep
him away from me. Give the cooler time to return my body temperature to
normal.

After a little while Aya opens the door to the cooler and sticks her head
in, raising an eyebrow.

"You know, it's a little cold in here to be wearing practically nothing,"
she says. "You're going to get sick."

"Trust me, Aya. I'm plenty warm." Grinning slightly I shift, taking in her
outfit once again. "So, have the boys figured out who you are yet?"

"Nope. I'm still the mysterious lady," she replies, smiling.

"Well get out of here before they find you in the kitchen. They'll know
something's up then."

"I'm telling Ziggy you're in here, though," Aya says as shakes her head. "It
won't do to have one of the interns hiding out in the fridge all night."

"I said I was warm!" I protest, but Aya just laughs.

"We'll make sure of that."

As the door closes I drop my head back into my hands. Why does everyone like
to laugh at my discomfort so much?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



===


From: Aya
Date: Sat, 2 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent a Jedi RR: First the Sith

With everyone else enchanting the Sith and Jedi, I wanted some action too...
aya
~~~~~~~~~
Ziggy should be happy, the night is a total success. Well, with the
exception of T calling Yoda a prude, Obi-Wan spilling margaritas on a guest,
Dieben getting plastered, the infamous Sith Whore making her presence known
to the Sithly side of our clientele and someone stalking Luke like a deer. I
ducked into one of the hallways to catch my breath.

"You should not be here." Maul swaggered over to me, charm turned on full.
Adi told me the bracelet would get warm whenever a force user tried to read
me and man that thing was making my wrist sweat. I smiled at Maul and moved
closer.

"Why not? Is it dangerous?"

"It could be, " he answered, grinning devilishly.

"It's ok, I have you to protect me." I purred, running my hand on his.
Taking his glass from him I sniffed carefully. "Since when did they start
serving real drinks?"

He chuckled. "Why would you like one?"

I dipped a finger into his glass, then ran it over my tongue. "No thanks," I
whispered, moving closer. "Too weak." I snaked my arm around his neck and
drew his mouth to mine.

"I need something..." I ran my tongue over his upper lip...

"Stronger..." As quickly as I drew him close, I let him go and turned,
sauntering away. I could feel his eyes on my back, and turned once again,
giving him a devastating smile. "Too bad you can't help me out..."

I heard his growl echo down the hall and laughed quietly. One down...
~~~~~~~~~


===


Date: 3 Oct 99
From: JediPatricia
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi Round Robin


I picked a glass from a non-alcoholic tray, and sampled the contents. Funny...
I could swear this was alcohol... The little R2 unit that carried the tray
emitted a series of sudden beeps and bolted away from me, scaring me so hard I
nearly jumped. The droid moved quickly into what I presumed was the kitchen –
followed by another, and another... now that was weird. I returned my
attention my drink, deciding I liked it. It probably was some exotic fruit
juice. I'd almost downed it when Darth Vader, of all things, came strolling
out of the same door the droids had went in and nearly ran me over, causing me
to spill the remaining liquid over his armor. /Gods, I hope he doesn't
short-circuit or something.../

"Won't you see where you're going?!" he said in a voice a pitch higher than
usual, but still enough to send most people running for cover. Now, I know
that guy wears a mask and all, but I was pretty sure he was pissed with
something – or someone – and had decided to take it out in me.

"Excuse me, but *you* ran *me* over. You're the one who should see where he's
going." The secondI said it, I almost looked around to see who was this person
who sounded so much like me. Then I realized *I*'d just censored the Dark Lord
of the Sith. I eyed my now empty glass suspiciously, and Vader only stared at
me for a few moments, his rasp breath reminding me of a bad-tasted crank
caller. Then he turned and walked away, his cape flowing around him and
dripping whatever was on that damn glass.

"Hi there, enjoying the party?" I turned to match the feminine voice behind me
to a woman with curled hair and a plum dress. "I'm Ziggy, welcome to
Rent-A-Jedi."

"Ziggy? I'm Patricia!" Although we'd only exchanged emails, I felt much better
in finding Ziggy. She was a woman, therefore an ally in this madhouse.

"Wow, Trish! Glad you could make it!"

"Yeah... maybe I shouldn't have..." I sighed.

Ziggy widened her eyes in surprise. "Are you kidding? People would kill for an
invitation for this party!"

"I know... It's just that I saw TPM for the first time yesterday and I'm still
recovering from it..."

"Oh, you poor thing! I know just how you feel. But this should cheer you up,
why are you glum like that?"

"I thought it would cheer me up too... then I nearly trampled Yoda, who
decided to play matchmaker and lead me to Qui-Gon... and *then* I realized I
can't be near the man without wanting to hold him and never let go... not
today, anyway."

Ziggy winked. "Hey, stand in line with the rest of us, darling. But there's
plenty of other Jedi around.. not to mention the Sith. Come on, don't just
stand there! I want everybody in this party to have a good time!"

"And here I thought your only goal for the night was make through it with no
bloodshed... Ziggy, one thing I like about you is that you always reach for
the sky."

"Oh well, that too," she admitted, then spotted someone over my shoulder and
waved. "Obi-Wan! There you are... Hey, care to meet the Padawan?" she said
with a grin.

"Oh, I'll say hi to him later..." Running away from Qui-Gon to find Obi-Wan
was a proverbially bad idea... something like "out of the frying pan, into the
fire".

I made my way to the bar and asked the bartender – another multi-tentacled
creature, to my chagrin – a glass of ice water. Whatever was on that glass, it
was causing a holocaust on my empty stomach. I didn't like alcohol and wasn't
used to drinking it, so my resistance level was low. The bartender regarded me
with wide eyes, but wordlessly complied. I sipped the water slowly, trying to
do exactly what Ziggy had suggested – relax and have fun. Then I felt
someone's eyes fixed on me. It was almost a physical feeling, as if they were
burning a trail on my skin. I looked around and locked eyes with Darth Maul,
staring at me from the opposite side of the bar. He made no attempt to divert
his fiery gaze from me, like a serpent enchanting its prey before the fatal
strike. Then he slowly lifted his glass in a mute toast, raising it to his
lips.

Things couldn't get any worse than this. *Darth*Maul*was*hitting*on*me*. I
felt a rush of anger through my body; after all, just last night I'd spent all
the drive home cursing his bloody Sithspawn ass for doing you-know-what to my
poor Jedi baby. I wondered if he knew about me and Qui-Gon and was doing this
to piss him off... I'd heard a few rumors about Ziggy...

And then I had an insanely wild idea. What's worse, I actually put it to
practice. Definitely not fruit juice... /OK, Sithspawn. Time for the hunter to
become the prey. Think you're soooo hot, huh? We'll see about that.../ Picking
up my glass, I purposefully walked to his side of the bar and Maul snarled at
some poor guy sitting next to him, sending the man fleeing into safety and
thus granting me a seat. I sat next to him, and Maul was about to speak when I
anticipated him. "Darth Maul, Dark Lord of the Sith."

"I see my reputation precedes me..." he said in a soft low voice, once again
running his eyes through my body with all pretense of decency gone. Suddenly I
realized the heat of anger that had impelled me here was being replaced by
another, quite different, kind of heat...





===


From: "Kathleen Royal"
Date: Sun, 03 Oct 1999
Subject: Re: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi Round Robin


I leaned from behind the pillar where I watched as events played out before
me.
I'm having so much fun watching all the Jedi and Sith and ladies dance the
"social quadrille". Politics and sextics, in every galaxy, all species, what
a fascinating study.
I watched a striking woman moved from her seat at the bar to sit beside
Darth Maul. This could be very interesting, indeed. I could feel his
interest from my vantage point, and her self-assurance at facing the vicious
little snake was impressive.
As a droid rolled by, I snagged another coke, and scooted my chair over. I
settled to watch Maul and his prey. Or was she?
Kathleen




===


Date: Sun, 03 Oct 1999
From:
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi Round Robin- cleaning up

Fuming, I stormed into the nearest bathroom, dripping blue
margaritas into a big blue puddle on to the floor. I could
hear Obi-Wan prattling on, apologizing profusely. I didn't
even feel bad when I slammed the door in his face.

He knocked and asked, "Is there anything I can do?"

Scowling- I opened the door and said, "Hmmm, a man trying to
be helpful-- let's see, club soda and something to change
into. That would be most appreciated."

He took a step closer and smiled slightly. "Why don't you
just take off your dress now?"

I reached around to undo my back button. * Why don't I
just...."Hey, don't try to mind-whammy me!" I snapped.

"No, I wasn't..."

"Just get me something, all right? Is that just too much to
ask?"

He pouted, "No, I'm sorry."

Just then, someone who looked just like him rounded the
corner carrying a robe. "Here, this ought to help."

I must admit, my jaw did drop. Now there's two of them....

"Sorry for the confusion," the newcomer started. "* I * am
Obi-Wan Kenobi. This is Obi-One Kenobi- the one who ran into
you."

Shaking my head, I just could think of anything to say.
Sensing my confusion, he continued, "There was a slight
mix-up at a cloning facility- apparently one of the Star
Wars Chicks got a bit carried away and produced too many.
Obi-One ended up here with us- aside from a few faults in
production- he could easily trick even Qui-Gon."

"Faults in production?" I managed to stammer.

"His braid is on the wrong side. He is also a huge tease."

Obi-One turned to Obi-Wan and said "I hear that some of the
Masters are anxious to get out the karaoke machine."

"Good Lord, karaoke- where's my martini?" I mumbled as I
took the robe and shut the door so I could change.


===


Date: Mon, 04 Oct 1999
From: andrea
Subject: Re: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi Round Robin

I scooped up a drink from a passing droid, and sipped absently at it as my
gaze wandered around the room. My glance rested for a moment on the tall
and therefore noticeable Qui-Gon Jinn as he went into full 'olde worlde
dashing Knight' routine, kissing the hand of a girl in just the sort of
silver and turquoise ensemble which would be very appealing to those wuss
Light Side types. I hid my smirk of amusement behind the rim of my glass
as said girl showed the excellent taste to _not_ puddle into the towering
bore's arms at the drop of a hat. Even better, she almost broke into a run
in her haste to get away from him. I snorted amusement. 'I'm with you,
sister, though I'd beat a slightly more leisurely retreat. Just to rub it in.'

I glanced over as someone in a green gown (gah! Catch me in green!) made A
Grande Entrance(TM). I took stock. Nipple rings. Navel chains. A
dagger. I rolled my eyes a little. 'Is this a woman or a hardware store
display window?' Ah well, at least she must have had _some_ scrap of
taste: she obviously wasn't here to suck up to Jedi, I certainly had to
give her that.

I noticed the return of the woman in the silver and turquoise from her
refuge in the other room (a kitchen, I supposed from the brief glimpse I
had when the door swung open), and had to take another sip to hide my leer
of happy surprise when I saw my reason for being here also sizing up the
other woman, then moving in on her. I settled back to watch the show.
This ought to be good. I'd enjoy watching Lord Maul make short work of the
Jedi sympathiser. I could certainly afford to watch, to extract the full
amusement from the evening. After all, he and I were already aware of each
other, though as yet our glances had not even crossed. There was no need
for such crude methods, not with Sith sensitivity to the stealthiest
changes in the Dark Side swirling in the room. There was no need for
reassurances. We would meet. I had foreseen it. I raised my glass to him
slightly in an ironic toast. *Good hunting, my Lord* I sent. For the
barest instant, golden eyes ringed with blazing red flicked to mine and I
sensed the acknowledgement he sent: a purr of anticipation from him at the
sport of toying with the tasty Jedi-loving morsel before him, a light snack
before the banquet to come...


===


From: "Selah Specht" < From: "Selah Specht"
Date: Mon, 04 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi RR: duty calls

I'm sorry, Diebin, but I just HAD to!!!!

**********************************************


"No," I said firmly, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at Masters
Gallia, Yaddle, and Windu.

"Come on, it'll be fun!" Mace added and I increased the intensity of my
glare.

"Love of music you do have," Yaddle added and I tried not to scream.

"Music, yes. Kareoke, NO! For protection of the innocent, this thing
remains in here," I added, nodding to the machine that was behind me in the
storage room. "Legitimate music is fine, but this..." I trailed off,
shivering.

"And doing cabaret is legitimate?" Gallia countered quietly and I felt
the heat rise in my cheeks.

"It was ONE TIME! All right, two times, but I used a real piano and it
was for a concert!!" I protested, wondering if singing Turn Back Oh Man
while strutting around and doing a boa dance for a high school program could
effectively be called music. I'm still trying to find the last tape of that
so I can burn it. "You're NOT doing kareoke!!" I finished as I locked the
door and ushered them into the dining room.

Things were going well...apart from a few incidents, the party was a
success. I shivered as I made my way through the Sith section of the room,
getting away from Kun as fast as my heeled feet could take me, then cocked
an eyebrow as I noticed that Qui and Maul seemed to be determining who's
territory the Mystery Woman, aka Aya was. As long as they didn't duke it out
and stain the carpet, things would be fine. Deciding that I needed a moment
to catch my breath, I headed for the kitchen.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!" I said in my most ladylike tones. Artoo gave a
string of slurred beeps and my eyes narrowed to slits as I saw the empty
package of martini mix on the counter.

"It spilled on you and dripped into your system? Great, just what I
need, an intoxicated droid!!" I hissed, then forced myself to look at the
image of Yoda the droid was carving from ice. The lifesize image of Yoda.
The lifesize image of Yoda that was naked and was in a pose that I didn't
think the real thing would be in.

"I've got to hide this..." I sighed, wondering how I was going to go
about it. The freezer!!! Gripping the offensive statue by the ears, I
proceeded to drag it into the walk-in freezer and plunk it next to Diebin
who was fast on her way to becoming a popsicle.

"What is THAT!" she asked, her eyes widening in horror.

"Artoo managed to get martini spilled into his system...you wouldn't
know anything about this, would you?" I asked and she bit her lip. I sighed.

"Aren't you going to come out at *all*?!"

"Nope." Rolling my eyes, I decided to leave her with the Yoda ice
sculpture and hope that maybe after a few minutes of staring at that thing
she'd be forced to come out.

My eyes scanned the crowd as I re-entered the room. Where was...After a
few inquiries I headed up the stairs, hoping that I wasn't going to see
anything I didn't want to be seeing.

"Hey Padawan! You'd better have a good reason for being up here or get
downstairs now! Your fanclub is growing restless!!" I turned as the
apprentice approached, flashing that grin. "Wait a minute...wasn't the braid
on the other side of your head?"

"Selah! Were you calling me?" I could feel my jaw drop as another
Obi-Wan came up to stand behind the first. Why not? Either I was going
insane, Vader's flask had contained some pretty strong brew or...

"Forgot to tell you about this...this is Obi-One, my clone..."

"And you waited until now to tell me? Thanks ever so much...come on you
two, you've got work to do..." I bit out, grabbing each by the braid and
yanking them down the stairs, ignoring their surprised yelps as they
struggled to keep up. At the lobby I quickly reached in my hair and pulled
out a small silver dragonfly clip and clipped it in Obi-One's hair, right
above the braid. "At least I can tell you apart..." I mumbled before getting
ready to send them in again. Then a terribly wicked, brilliant idea hit me.

"Hang on a sec...You know...Diebin hasn't been having that much fun
this evening...she seems to be all by herself...why don't you both be dears
and go check on her for me? She's in the walk-in freezer..." I said lightly,
then laughed at their twin grins before they walked off to find the poor
intern. *Sorry, Diebin, but at least they're off my back for the moment...*
I thought to myself before entering the mass of people again, hopefully
ready for anything.


===


Date: 4 Oct 99 19:43:41 WET DST
From: JediPatricia
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi RR: Getting even with Maul...


I was flirting with a Sith Lord. And loving it. The alcohol I was now sure
that first drink contained must be numbing my inhibitions, not to mention my
*sanity*. Maul was like a wild animal, but only more dangerous because he
seemed so controlled. Like a panther stalking its prey only to strike on the
last minute.

But I was not a babe out of the woods, despite certainly looking like one (I
was still surprised the droid at the door hadn't checked my ID). I knew a
thing or two about shielding from my time with Qui-Gon. I hoped it still
worked.

"Red would be more becoming than blue on your skin." he remarked in that
maddeningly soft voice, and I have no idea where I drew the strength not no
turn and run away screaming. Could he be reading my mind? Which was the hunter
and which was the prey? I didn't know and I didn't care. "It would emphasize
your sensuous nature..." Maul continued.

"And exactly how do you know I have a sensuous nature?" I asked in my best
impression of a low seductive voice.

"I have eyes," he stated matter-of-factly. "The Jedi are not nearly enough for
one like you."

I ran a finger over the icy crystal of my glass, feigning boredom. "Oh dear,
this is not going to turn into a Jedi vs. Sith contest, is it? I suppose next
you're going to tell me you have a glowing red lightsaber that's twice as big
as any Jedi's..." I motioned to get up and walk away from him, but the floor
seemed to disappear under my feet and I would be sprawled on the floor had he
not seized my wrist to hold me.

Gallantly (if that could be said of a Sith) ignoring my obvious symptoms of
intoxication, Maul wrapped his other arm around my waist and pulled me close,
purring in my ear. "Do not judge what you do not know." I shivered like a leaf
in the wind. The proximity of his body was unleashing things I though
impossible deep within my core.

The spell was broken by a sudden crashing sound across the room. We both
looked to where Obi-Wan had downed the entire contents of a pitcher containing
some blue liquid onto a girl with a beautiful burgundy dress. Maul chuckled,
"I see Braid Boy is once again practicing his arts of seduction."

"Really?" I said, turning to face his burning eyes again, "And I though he was
just being clumsy." We both laughed.

Maul ran his fingers up my arm, noticing my heightening color, and quietly
remarked, "You seem feverish... perhaps a breath of fresh air would help..."
Not giving me time to protest, he just led me out of the room to a large
balcony that oversaw the city.

It was like a suspended garden, full of plants I did not know the names to,
and was dimly lit by the reflections of one thousand city lights. I turned
back, not sure what the hell I was doing, and he just wrapped both arms around
my waist and captured my earlobe between his teeth, suckling it. He raised his
head and our eyes met in the glass doors that had become mirrors due to the
contrast between light and dark. And such an appropriate contrast.

"Fire and ice..." Maul smiled, lifting one hand to cup my chin and bring my
mouth to his. "Fire melts ice..." he whispered against my lips before kissing
me, ravishing my mouth, his other hand cupping my breast through the
embroidered silk. I responded eagerly, turning to face him and pressing my
body against his. Before I knew what was happening, we had moved into a dark
corner and he had me against the wall, his lips still sealed to mine.

Maul moved his mouth to my neck and his hands to my thighs, running them under
the layers of cloth to cup my bottom. I let out a whimper, and he looked up at
me, his eyes burning in the darkness. In a moment of sudden lucidity I
realized exactly what I was doing and all the blood in my groin returned to my
brain. I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him again. When his hands left
my body I pushed him back and fled to the door, leaning against it just before
returning to the party to say, "You were right about not judging what I don't
know... now I can make a much wiser choice... much, much wiser."

-----

(That's for killing my baby you horny bastard)



===


From: "Crysta Novelli"
Date: Mon, 04 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Round Robin

Wow! What a night this had been.

Ziggy had led me to none other than Obi-Wan Kenobi himself. The hostess had
instantly put me at ease, giving me enough courage to saunter up to the
padawan and give him my best smile. I'd felt his instant attraction, and he
couldn't resist asking me to dance. Pulling me close and wrappiing his arms
around my waist, I melted into his embrace, feeling his rhythms and matching
them perfectly. We glided across the floor as if we were one, and
relucantly he pulled away as the dance ended, kissing me briefly as Ziggy
approached us, dragging yet another guest to him. He shot me an apologetic
look as he took her across the floor, yet I noticed smugly that he didn't
pull her quite as close.

Turning to the droid rolling by, I removed a glass of non-alcoholic drink.
I wasn't a fan of alcohol and hated blurring my sharp senses anyway so I was
glad Ziggy had provided for that. Hmm. The drink was unlike any other I'd
ever tasted before. Sweet, yet tangy, and extremly good.

Tearing my eyes away from the ravishing young padawan, I surveyed the other
guests. There was Master Windu, talking with Qui-Gon and another female
guest. Yoda was over in the corner, and I saw a few more of the Council
members making small talk. Sith were on the far side. I mad a mental note
to avoid that half of the ballroom.

I'd made small talk with several of the other Jedi, witnessed a protocol
droid performing cartwheels for Yoda, observed some VERY interesting guests
arrive, seen Obi-Wan spill blue Margarita mix on a guest and disappear
upstairs with her, and come to the realization that someone had spiked my
drink. Porbably Vader, after the way he'd come barreling out of the
kitchen, followed by a very smug looking hostess.

The best part of the evening had only just arrived, though, when I'd
accidentally bumped into Luke. Or rather, he bumped into me. He'd been
running from some chick, and almost bowled me over. Apologizing hastily, he
tried disappearing down a hallway, but I'd stopped him. The alcholol was
really getting to me, and there was no way I was going to let Obi-Wan and
Margarita Girl have all the fun!

So now I purred softly to him, "Luke, darling, why are you running? Crysta
will protect you and chase all your fears away."

He looked at me now like I was nuts, but when I smiled encouragingly and
pulled him close for a kiss, he changed his mind. Perhaps it happened when
I ran my tongue over his bottom lip, or maybe not until his lips parted
allowing me entry, but by his response, I knew I'd convinced him I was
perfectly capably of making him forget his fears. Pulling back, but not
loosing eye contact, I let my baby-blues do the talking. He grinned then,
pulling me out to the dance floor. I smiled back at him and melted into his
embrace, completely forgetting about the padawan. Over his shoulder I could
see the huntress giving me the evil eye, but I was feeling feisty now, and
couldn't care less. //Maybe I should let people spike my drink more often//
I thought to myself and pulled the blond Jedi close for another kiss.


===


From: "Celeste L'Pauvre"
Date: Mon, 04 Oct 1999 15:04:17 PDT
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi RR: Mambo No. 5

I blame this on my roomie and her making me listen to the song waaaay to
much.....

******************

Well this was turning out to be quite the event. I'd watched Kris tramp
towards Obi-wan, look of lust clear from a distance. Unfortunately, it was
received by the wrong Jedi. I nearly choked
when Luke Skywalker fluffed his lapels at her and leaned in close. Maybe it
was because I knew her, but I could tell the derisive snort by her body
language and his sudden retreat was a guarantee she'd thrown in a snide
comment. He looked like he was going to cry. I felt sorry for him. He'd be
cute if he didn't whine all the time, reminded me of Hamlet. I hate Hamlet.
Of course, by the time she'd sent him on his way, Obi-wan had wandered off
the playing field. She looked furious, but what could I do? I suddenly had a
problem of my own.

"Ladies and Gentlemen...." My head snapped up from the drink I'd been
contemplating, spilling a dash of sticky juice and booze over my hand, to
home in on the sonorous voice. "Mambo Number 5!"


"Here, let me get that..." I hadn't realized I was cold until hands
travelled across the thin fabric covering my backside and continued over
various bits of exposed skin until they'd captured my drink-splashed hand.
To say I was surprised is an understatement. Exar Kun's chest pressed
against my back as he lifted my hand to run his tongue over the spillage.
"Isn't that better?"

"Urk." Not a very intelligent answer but then all semblance of coherency had
hopped the earliest transport to the Core where it had quickly crisped. I
twisted a bit in his grasp, foolishly thinking I could get away, as if I
really wanted to. Oh, yeah, endearing evil smirk, must remember to breathe,
caught in his eyes, lost track of where his hands.... I jumped like I'd been
bitten, forgotten glass in my hand shattering. "Oh, great: blood...." You'd
think with owing only 3 semesters on a forensic science degree I wouldn't
faint at the sight of my own blood. Right.

As my vision tunneled out, Jedi voices raised in joyous karoake kept time
with my beating heart.

"A little bit of Per'agana in my life,
A little bit of Andrea by my side,
A little bit of Diebin is all I need,
A little bit of Aya is what I see,
A little bit of Afton in the sun,
A little bit of Ziggy all night long,
A little bit of Patricia here I am,
A little bit of YOU makes me your man...."


*******

might be lame, but don't shoot me. I know they shoot horses (don't they) but
I might write something great any day now....

T'ra, Celeste (shameless troll for feedback? I'm not living under this
bridge for nothing....)


===


From: "Seesa"
Date: Mon, 04 Oct 1999
Subject: Re: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi Round Robin

This is my first attempt at this, so be nice to me. It gets pretty silly,
and if you guys don't like the idea, just ignore it.

A debt is owed to the cartoon The Tick for the scientific breakthrough!



Seesa sighed as she pushed her hair out of her eyes again. It was yet
another late night in lab at the University of Courusant, and she was
missing a really great party she had heard about from people around the lab.
Something about the Jedi. Well, as a graduate student in cloning sciences,
her long hours in lab may come in useful someday - preferably soon. She took
one last look at her latest results, then sat down stunned. They weren't as
negative as previously thought. In fact, they were actually quite useful.
"Wow, I've really got to plug this into the sequencing computer," she said
aloud. (When alone in lab, sometimes talking to yourself is the only thing
that makes you feel sane.) A few minutes later, the results spit up onto the
viewscreen.
        "It really is possible! I can clone Jedi and Sith!" This was the scientific
breakthrough Seesa had been waiting for. Now graduation was even possible!
But, wait a minute. "The data also suggest that the clones are unstable, and
will only last a couple of hours. But, that could be an advantage --- I've
got it! Can o' Jedi and Can o' Sith! Just spray and you have your favorite
force user for a couple of hours! After that, they dissolve into a potpourri
or pine scent!" Not only was graduation in sight, but a profitable business
as well. But who would want Jedi on demand? "Ziggy and Rent-a-Jedi! I have
to get to that party! I have a feeling she'll really want to talk to me if
everyone at the party is fighting over the same few Jedi." Seesa then looked
down at her usual lab attire - jeans with a hole in the knee and an Alderaan
System University sweatshirt with bleach stains. Not exactly gala-worthy
attire, even for a science geek. Seesa looked at her watch. "I'm sure the
party only just started - I can get home, change, and get there in time.
Plus I snagged an invite since I lurk on the Rent-a-Jedi list - I just don't
come out and play." After making sure everything was shut down correctly,
Seesa raced home.
        "Oh dear," she moaned a half-hour later. "Grad students just don't own gala
attire." After staring at the contents of her closet for a few minutes, she
finally decided on the pale blue brocade minidress she bought for a wedding
last year because it highlighted her eyes. It had spaghetti straps and
nicely fit her slender figure. "Now shoes - grrrrrr!" Seesa shoveled through
the bottom of her closet looking for shoes that would match. She finally
came upon her black satin heels with the brocade - like design on them.
"Does black and pale blue go together? I never know about these things.
However, these are the only heels I own." Seesa considered the shoes for a
few minutes. After all, at 5' 8'' she didn't NEED heels. Plus they tended to
kill her feet. "Okay, the white sandals, then. I'll just be underdressed -
but I'm just going to see Ziggy." "Yeah, right," said her inner voice. "You
want to see that Kenobi jedi up close and personal and you know it." Seesa
then carefully applied makeup and curled her shoulder length honey-blonde
hair. "I guess I clean up okay," she said to her image in the mirror. "Time
to go!"
        Seesa arrived at the party and began to search out Ziggy. What she did see
was each Jedi and Sith trying to be in at least three places at once, going
from one woman to another. On one level, it was very amusing, but on
another, it confirmed the reason she wanted to come in the first place. She
turned around, still searching for Ziggy, and ran smack into the unspoken
reason for coming. "Oh dear, I'm very sorry," she stammered, realizing she
was looking at the famous Obi-Wan Kenobi himself.
        "Not a problem. You appear to be looking for someone. Can I help you?"
        "I'm looking for Ziggy - I have a proposition for her. Have you seen her?"
        "Oh, she's around here somewhere. I'm temporarily unoccupied right now, so
I can help you find her." His wonderful gray eyes gaze down on you
appreciatively. "Lets go. We can swing by the punch bowl on the way."


===


Date: 4 Oct 99 19:23:50 EDT
From: Siduri Archanes
Subject: Re: [[Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi RR: Getting even with Maul...]

*Siduri felt the fluctuations within the darkness shrouded around her. Fully
grown women were acting like fools, flinging themselves at the disgusting
little Lightsiders. The whole thing sickened her. Drawing the darkness more
closely to herself, her deep brown eyes glimmer with the hint of mischief,
eyeing one of the lightside boys ((no one particuarly famous, as there must be
others of them milling about)). Siduri straightens her posture out, and opens
her hand as she draws the darkness to it, placing her other hand on top of the
swirling energy, compressing it into a ball ((WEG Bolt of Hatred, a Sith
specific power)), lethal enough to kill a Jedi and too strong to be prevented
by a Lesser Force Shield- the only way one cannot perish from such an attack
is to simply avoid being hit by it. Smirking, as her very action shall show
all the Lightsiders that the Sith are meant to be feared, Siduri uncups her
hand from the upper portion of the ball of energy, filled with compressed
hatred itself, and hurls it at the unsuspecting lightsider, whose body erupts
into flames*

*Siduri knows that she has attracted attention to herself and merely tosses
back her red tresses and laughs, haughtily heading out of the ballroom,
towards the outside when she suddenly stops, seeing a woman with the infamous
Lord Maul. She watches the exchange, Maul, apparently interested in her, and
she, seemingly him. Until it happens. Siduri's eyes widen as she sees how
insolent the woman had acted and as soon as she is gone, Siduri walks out into
the cool air and brushes her mind against his as she kneels before him, her
piercings glittering underneath the thin jade covering of her dress* My Lord
Maul, I am Warrior Archanes. Allow me to join with you and purge this
institution of the Jedi sympathizers who have seeked to shame you so.* *Siduri
throws her arms around his knees, like a supplicant* All my resources I have,
I give you, my Lord. Let us show them the ulitmate power of the Darkside*

*Maul, merely looks down at the whore lying before him and grins*



===


Date: Tue, 05 Oct 1999
From: andrea
Subject: Re: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi Round Robin

I watched as Maul deftly steered the girl in the turquoise and silver out
toward the balconies. An old ploy, of course, but the classics endure
because they tend to be effective. I blinked when she hurried back into
the room after far too brief a time. There was a hard little smirk of
triumph on her face. I had to admit to a certain grudging respect: It's
_not_ easy to walk away from Maul. It seemed that somewhere among that
obvious and disappointing preference for Light Side types, she had managed
to keep a bit of spirit.

Maul stalked back into the room after a face-saving pause. I sidled up to
him, handed him a drink by way of commiseration. "At least it wasn't a
total loss." I murmured, nodding in the direction where his latest quarry
had disappeared. "She was radiating so much gratified vengefulness she'll
probably put half the Jedi in the room off their drinks."

He snorted and took a sip. "That'll take a lot of doing." he muttered.

"And from where I was standing, it made for very entertaining viewing."
When he turned to me with a low grr, I reached up, slid my fingertips under
his hood, tracing a lazy circle round the horn at his temple with the tip
of my nail. "Really, I had to sympathise with her..." I added. Over his
louder growl, I leaned in and murmured, "You definitely _are_ a 'horny
bastard'. ...Don't ever change." As the growl deepened into a purr, I
allowed a slow smile to creep over my face.

The smile froze a moment later. Ye Gods and Sithly Demons! I could hardly
believe my ears. Jedi Karaoke. I could feel Maul wince as well. We
traded horrified glances. "Karaoke really weirds me out." I muttered,
having already taken in stride the spectacle of a ballroom filled with
generations' worth of the best and brightest from both sides of the Force
in full regalia. When Maul blinked at me, I added, "_We_ think it's so
saccharine and appalling it must be Light Side." I waved my hand at the
Jedi side of the room, "But at least _some_ of them think it's so insidious
and addictive it must be one of _our_ tricks." I shrug, grinning impishly.
"Maybe Karaoke is the Balance in the Force!" Maul hmphed.


===


Date: Tue, 05 Oct 1999 09:54:33 +1000
From: andrea
Subject: Re: [[Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi RR: Getting even with Maul...]

Back inside the room, Maul and I looked up from our drinks, startled out of
our contemplation of the Horror That Is Karaoke, as a wave of mass
distortion in the Force washed over the room. I rolled my eyes and tossed
back the rest of my drink. "Great. Juuuust great." I sighed. "Oh well,
with this number of Force users in the one room, I suppose it was only a
matter of time. We've reached Critical Force Mass and the time stream
itself is fragmenting. Damn I hate it when that happens! It's really
confusing when you start running into slightly-past-and-future copies of
people. Ahh well. Nothing that another drink won't fix. ...Or something
even more intoxicating..." I add, and trail my nailtips lazily around a few
more of those horns.


===


From: "Afton Prest"
Date: Mon, 04 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] RaJ RR: Let the Brawl Begin...


I jumped and whirled around at the all to familiar force-brush. I found
myself looking up into the piercing blue eyes of Jedi Master Nejaa Halcyon.
"Ziggy said you were looking for me," he said with a smile playing across
his lips. I was not about to fall into his arms. Nope. Not a chance. Wasn't
going to happen…
I decided Ziggy was going to have to pay. Dammit, she knew what would
happen… "Really? There must be a mistake, Master Halcyon, I hadn't realized
you were here… What in the Galaxy could drag you away from Corellia? Surely
not just our little party?" I said with a laugh.
"You're right- there is a matter of great importance I came to attend to…"
his velvety voice was a whisper. He stepped closer. I smiled and stepped
back, turning to take another drink from a passing R2 unit.
"A drink, Master Halcyon?"
"Yes, I think I will." Before I could think, I was being thoroughly kissed.
Damn! Why the fraggin aardvark did he have to be so… Must not give in…
Heartbreak… Pain… Kiss…
When I became aware of the real world again I was wrapped in his arms in the
middle of the room. "Nejaa…"
A wave of anger hit me head on. Uh-oh- I'd forgotten Daddy.
The crowd parted to allow an unhappy, okay, a completely furious Darth Vader
through. Not to mention a very drunk Darth Vader. Not good.
"Jedi scum! Lying filth! Get away from my little girl!" he ranted, drawing
his lightsaber.
"Daddy…"
"Stay away Vader." I found myself being pushed behind Nejaa. Great, what was
the Council going to do now Dad had broadcast my parentage? Worse, what were
he and my ex going to do to each other?
The two circled each other, lightsabers drawn. I stepped back, not wanting
to use any of my powers unless the Council Members didn't get it stopped…


===


From: "Carmen Nichole"
Date: Mon, 04 Oct 1999 18:21:46 PDT
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent A Jedi: Round Robin

*I'm not the best writer. Don't laugh if you think this is stupid.*



As a newcomer, I didn't feel quite right walking into this party and I
wasn't quite sure I was invited. But Hell, I do like crashing parties and
maybe I could bag myself a nice Jedi.

I had decided on the skin tight leopard gown with the stiletto heels. Sure
those shoes are a pain, but I love to get noticed. My hair is twisted up in
a eccentric bun. Of course all this primping makes me late. I HATE being
late.

As I walked in, I look around. I don't really see anyone I know. Wait
there's Diebin, I wave at her as she follow Obi-Wan into the kitchen.

Interesting I think. I wade through the crowd. Serves me for coming late,
all the sexy guys are taken. Ah crap, there's Qui-Gon, I don't think I can
face him after... well.. you know, Oh wait you don't, but that's another
story. Maybe if I go over to a Sith, he won't come near.

As I wade over to Darth Maul, I notice Luke Skywalker. Man, he is as sexy
now as ever. Maybe I should... Yep I will.

"Hi, Luke." I say seductively as I walk up to him. "How are you this fine
evening?"

"Uh, fine." He says, in a nervous tone.

I glance away from him and then back. I seem to have that effect on guys.
I'm intimidating. At least that's what my ex's tell me. But hell, Luke makes
me nervous. I've only liked him for what ten years.

"Ok girl, turn on the sophistication." I say to myself.

"So, what are you doing later?" I ask him, looking him right in the eyes and
hoping he's catching my underlying motive. OK So I like get to the point.

"Nothing.." He says, "Why?"

I pull him closer, "Oh no reason, Do you want to dance?"

*I'll write more later, Is it cool if I write in a friend who isn't on this
list.*


===


From: "Kathleen Royal"
Date: Mon, 04 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi Round Robin

From my vantage point behind the pillar I had sat all evening, watching the
interplay between females, Jedi, and Sith. I noted the absence of male Jedi
fans...I knew they existed but did not see any obvious flirting.
There was a stir in one area, Darth Vader was bearing down on a small group,
his anger radiating.
On the other side, a Sith female viciously attacked a young Jedi.

OK, Time to go. It was gonna get real hot in here and I didn't want to
revert. It had taken years to get the fighting instinct controlled. I had
repressed my lust for battle so long I was considered kinda passive. The
Jedi liked that.
But I knew the hidden beast within me, waiting, wanting to kill again. My
hand clenched and stretched. I could imagine the solid grip of a lightsabre.
My breathing increased. The dark power in the room fed my desires. I felt a
thrill of power growing in my chest. My arms flexed, I sat straighter. I
could feel an uncontrollable grin taking over my face.
Man, somebody was gonna get hurt tonight. I began to rise, seeking my first
target. The crowd was milling about, unsure of the many events unfolding.
My vision sharpened, I could smell the alcohol's bitter sting and I wrinkled
my nose. Nasty humans.
I moved from around the pillar, stalking, the small, long knife attached to
my thigh, now in my hand.
A large hand came down on my shoulder. I turned sharply, striking.
Qui-Gon easily swept the knife from my hand and held my wrist.
Our eyes met, recognition acknowledged, and I knelt at his feet.
"Forgive me, Master. My control is poor."
"Go home." he said firmly and pulled me to my feet.
"Yes, my Master." I said, and quickly kissing his hand I headed for the
door.
Outside, I began trotting home, kicking off the high heels, using the
journey to expend the energy which had so quickly built up. He would visit
when he could. He kept an eye on his pathetic lifeforms.

kathleen


===


From: "Selah Specht"
Date: Tue, 05 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi RR: karaoke krazy

I clenched my teeth as I entered the room for the bajillionth time and
shot the Jedi that had decided to go against my warnings and fish out the
karaoke machine the deadliest glare I could manage. There was no way I could
make it stop though...Yoda and the council had already witnessed their
performance and besides, I just wasn't about to go up against a few singing,
intoxicated Jedi Masters. Thinking over every curse I knew and making up a
few new ones, I of course was very, very surprised to hear the familiar hum
of a lightsaber. My eyes widened in horror as I took in the sight of Vader
and Nejaa circling each other in a corner of the large room. Okay, I could
deal with this, I would stay calm, I would handle it like the gracious,
mature hostess I was...

"WHAT IN HENSON'S NAME ARE YOU TWO MORONS DOING!?!?!!?" a voice shrieked
and it took me a moment to realize it was mine. So much for staying calm.
Growling, I ran over to their little standoff and planted myself between
them. "No weapons...did I not say no weapons?" I asked, glancing at Afton
who gave me a look, but answered.

"You did say no weapons."

"See? Now what does that mean, hmm? It does NOT mean for you to bring
them anyway!!! You two, follow me," I said, motioning for Vader and Nejaa to
follow me out of the room, sending Afton an apologetic look on my way out. I
began to pace as soon as we were in the lobby.

"Why can't you just behave for one night? FOR ONE NIGHT!?" I moaned,
running a hand through my hair. "Do you realize I've probably had forty
anneurisms alone this evening? Not to mention that I'll probably have an
ulcer because of this..." I sighed, glancing at the two stunned men. "All
right, forgive me, I'm whining...okay. Here's what we're going to
do...Nejaa, you can go back in, but give me the lightsaber," I instructed,
taking the weapon from his reluctant grasp. He gave Vader a superior look
and trotted back into the room. Vader started to follow, but I held him
back, or tried to; he seemed to be dragging me along with him.

"Why should I let you go back in there? Three strikes, remember?" I
gasped as I tried to pull him back, to no avail.

"But I want to go to the party!!" I rolled my eyes; the only thing worse
than a malevolent Vader was a cranky, complaining Vader. Sighing, knowing it
was definitely against my better judgement, I released him.

"Fine!" I snapped, grabbing his saber and going to my desk to lock it up
with Nejaa's weapon. "But behave or next time you WILL get a time out!" I
warned and he nodded before re-entering the party. I paused before following
him, trying to resist the urge to run away screaming. It looked like
everyone was enjoying themselves, I hoped. That made it worth it then. I
hoped. Sighing, trying to calm myself, I entered the room again and smiled
slightly at a few Jedi who were enjoying being the center of attention and
argument.

"Excuse me..." I turned and regarded the girl with as much kindness as I
could muster; I was at the end of my rope but I didn't want it to show. "My
name's Seesa and I have a business proposition for you that I think you
might want..."

"Well, I usually don't discuss business at things like this..." I said
slowly, trying not to say that I really had to be playing chaperon and
didn't have time to talk at the moment. "But, sure, okay, go ahead..." I
said, figuring I might as well at least hear the suggestion. Grinning, she
proceeded to explain just what she meant.

"Hmmm...interesting...I'll have to think it over, but it sounds
doable..."I let my voice fade as the karaoke singers actually got louder.
"Excuse me...talk to me later; I'd love to hear more about this, and enjoy
the party!" I managed before going over to the singers and taking out a CD
that I had hidden in the near vicinity for such an occassion.

"Stop it...now, or else..." I glanced up at them, raised an eyebrow, and
slid the compilation CD under their nose, pointing my finger at the track
"John, I'm only dancing." Their eyes widening in horror, they gave a mute
nod and I grinned before turning to walk away. Somehow that song always came
in handy when I needed to scare people off. The karaoke singers took
approximately a five second break before starting up again, louder than
ever. Smacking my hand against my forehead, I searched the crowd for Max
Rebo's band and nearly had a screaming fit when I found them passed out
drunk along a wall. Great! So now I had to put up with that blasted karaoke!
Resisting the urge to grab Vader's saber and slice the machine in two, I
grabbed a new purchase that I had made just recently and popped it into the
stereo I had hidden on the other side of the room, relaxing immensely as the
melody of "Thursday's Child" began to cover up the karaoke. Maybe they'd get
the hint. I glanced over at the Masters that were performing and the state
they were in. Maybe not. Sighing, I started the rounds again, hoping to the
stars that I would be able to stop any major disasters before all hell broke
loose. As it was Nejaa and Vader were eyeing each other and the door,
probably trying to see how fast they could free their weapons. At this point
I was ready to let them hack each other to pieces. Sighing again, I
continued my walk around the perimeter of the room, trying not to let my
anxiousness show too badly.


===


Date: 5 Oct 99
From: JediPatricia
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi RR


Still unable to believe I had actually gotten away with that, I looked over my
shoulder nervously, but Maul was nowhere to be seen. I decided it was time to
behave myself, but since my mind was obviously not able to do the job I better
find some company... preferably someone who wouldn't jump me... or who I
wouldn't jump. I scanned the crowd to find the perfect guy for the job.

Luke Skywalker was being chased around the buffet table by several women, and
he nearly collapsed with terror when I came out of nowhere, wrapped myself
around his arm and said, "Hi darling! Go for a dance?" He eyed me
suspiciously, but decided I was safer than his other paramours and led me to
the dance floor.

Now let me make one thing clear. Luke Skywalker could be the last man on the
galaxy and I the last woman, and the survival of the human race depend on us
doing the wild thing. But not even then would I have any kind of romantic
interest on him. I saw him as a kid brother or something. Of course seeing him
always near that Corellian guy, what's his name... wasn't particularly helpful
for his case.

"Thanks for saving me," he said in a neutral tone, still trying to figure me
out. I decided to make things clear from the start.

"Before you start jumping to conclusions, let me say you could be my long lost
brother for all I care. I have no attraction to you whatsoever. But I need
someone "safe" for a while and from the look on those women's faces you do
too."

Luke smiled openly, almost as relieved as I was. "Sounds perfect to me. Are
you feeling OK?" he asked when I nearly tripped on my heels and missed his
foot by an inch, concealing his fright quite well.

"I think I'm drunk... I had a drink that looked like fruit juice but I'm
acting weird ever since."

Luke raised his brow, then tried to mask his surprise. "Fruit juice? Oh."

Not *that* drunk, I caught it and shot back, "What?"

He sighed and confessed, "It appears Father has been trying to spike some of
the non-alcoholic beverages."

I widened my eyes in shock. "It appears he succeeded," I managed to say
evenly, then muttered, "I wish he did short-circuit when I spilled it on him."
I scanned the room to find Vader in a heated argument with some Jedi I didn't
know. Things were getting *way* out of hand.

Luke chuckled nervously. "At least there wasn't any major damage..."

"Major damage? I made out with Darth Maul and then dumped him flat!! How's
that for major damage?" I regretted saying that the moment it came out of my
mouth.

His jaw fell to the floor. Oh I must really look like a babe out of the woods.
"You... he..." he stammered, then scanned the room for Maul. I followed his
eyes to find the Dark Lord once again at the bar, downing a tequila shot. A
woman in a killer little black dress was caressing his horns. He sensed us and
looked back, and I wondered if a Sith's look could kill. I would have sworn
Luke cowered behind me. So much for protection...

"Listen carefully, Force-boy. I never told you. You never heard it. Or you'll
have more to fear from me than from any Sith alive. Deal?" He nodded, still
terrified. Good. I would just die if my little fling with Maul came to the
ears of Qui-Gon. Or Obi-Wan. Or anybody in the Council. Or in the galaxy, for
that matter.

We danced for a while, Luke carefully taking his steps so as to avoid my
killer heels. I was beginning to feel drowsy, a sure symptom of intoxication.
I'd be fast asleep in the nearest horizontal surface in half an hour. Not the
best way to have a good time... being asleep I mean.

I was pulled out of my stupor to look around and see who was having an asthma
attack, to find Vader, sporting a new spotless cape, right next to us. "I must
make amends for my early behavior... would the lady give me the honor of this
dance?" Luke and I both stared wide-eyed at the Dark Lord. Darth Vader asking
me to dance. Oh great.

"Father... I don't think..." Luke managed to stammer.

"Let the lady make her own choice, son." Vader said in his best ominous Dark
Side voice... even if the alcohol was making his diction a bit slower than
usual.

"OK..." I said, feeling a bit curious about Mr. Energizer. "No problem. See
you in a while, Luke?" I said, taking Vader's arm. He nodded and left the
dance floor. I nearly pitied the poor kid. Being dumped for his own father.

"I was most terribly rude earlier..." Vader said as he led me across the dance
floor. He actually danced better than Luke.

"Yes you were," I agreed, "And I'm not talking about you running me over
either. But never mind. Sorry about spilling that drink on you... I hope it
didn't do any damage."

"Not to worry. This armor has a 10-year warranty against all sorts of stains
and damage."

"Really?" I said, genuinely surprised.

"Really... otherwise the manufacturer will be in great trouble indeed..."

I laughed, a few tones louder than I would normally dare. "Oh Gods, I didn't
even introduce myself..."

"You underestimate the powers of the Dark Side, Patricia..." he answered,
startling me. "Yes, most of the calls go to the Light Side. But without the
Dynamic Duo over there, their clientele would be cut by half..."

"The Dynamic..." I giggled. Dynamic was an understatement where those two were
concerned. "But you must agree that most of the Sith are a little
intimidating."

Vader snorted. "Not all of us are glorified kickboxers like Maul. Some
actually have manners."

"Wait a minute, you don't like Maul?"

"Maul knows nothing of real power.. he's just a henchman for the dirty jobs. I
understand some women go for the rough types, but on top of everything, he's
not even the gentleman enough to be discreet..."

I had a bad feeling about this. "What do you mean?"

With false indignation, Vader exclaimed, "Why, just a few minutes ago he was
telling Jinn about some girl he'd managed to seduce in the balcony..." I
thanked the Gods for not having Force powers, for if not so both Vader and
Maul would have been reduced to dark smoldering spots on the floor. And poor
Ziggy, having invested so much in this party, would not be happy at all.
Observing the expected reaction on my face, Vader continued gleefully, "Look,
here he comes right now..."

I froze. Here *who* comes? I was not in the mood to face either of them... On
the opposite side of the room, a karaoke machine sprang to life and group of
over-indulged Jedi Masters began singing a slightly adulterated version of
Mambo Nr 5. The song I was unable to hear without imagining Obi-Wan dancing in
my kitchen in boxers. I was officially in hell. And to make things worse...

"Patricia." The soft voice behind me told me all I needed to know. It was the
same tone Qui-Gon used when Obi-Wan messed up. "May we speak for a moment?"

I turned, nearly splattering myself on the floor, definitely drunk now, and
hanging on to Vader's arm for dear life. "Um... not really... I'm dancing
here..."

Qui-Gon would have none of it. His expression unreadable but determined, he
reached to take my other arm. "If you'll excuse us, Lord Vader..."

"I don't think I will," Vader snorted, holding my arm. "The lady doesn't wish
to speak to you, Jinn. Are you not content with all the pathetic women
drooling over you?"

"Why don't you ask her?" Qui-Gon said calmly, staring into my eyes. I followed
the one honorable exit I had before me. I hid under Vader's cape.

----------
OK, I know the timeline is getting shaky, but I wrote this before reading mail
and decided to post it anyway...



===


From: "Carmen Nichole"
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent a Jedi: RR- Carmen Continues

Luke and I continue to talk. Man I would love to get him alone.

I glance past Luke and see my friend Kathryn. I wave to her, as she tries to
walk up to us. She hits an R2 waiter and spill all the drinks on his tray.

"Oh God," I think, "First she's late and then she makes a fool of herself."

She manages to straighten the R2, she straightens her dress and continues
over. I smile at her and then we both laugh.

"I made my usually entrance, didn't I?" Kathryn asked.

"Yep! You sure did. Is that a new dress? I didn't think you could get too
many black slip dresses." I said.

"Hey, This one is midnight black!"

Luke looks back and forth between us.

"Kathryn, this is Luke Skywalker. Luke, Kathryn." I said, introducing them.

"Cool, You're a Jedi knight, huh?" She asked.

"Yes." He said.

"Is Han here?" Kathryn asks.

"I don't think so, I told you, there are going to be mostly Jedi here." I
remind her.

"Damn! I guess I'll go mingle." She said and wanders off.

"OK, you have fun then." I answered. I turned my attention to Luke. He looks
a bit confused about what had just happened. "Don't ask."

Just then some Karaoke started. "What the...?" I started, then I just
started laughing. It just hit a funny bone.

I notice Darth Maul coming off of the balcony and that gives me an idea.

Then Ziggy came up to me. "Hello, I don't think me have met."

"Hello," I said. "I'm Carmen Nichole. And my friend Kathryn is somewhere
around here hunting for a certain Correlian smuggler."

"I see you have found Luke." She said.

"Yep." I smile. "We were just about to get some.... air, or whatever."

"OK, Have fun tonight." Ziggy said. As she walks away, I glance at Luke and
said, "I promise I will."

"Why do you need to get some air?" Luke asks.

"Because I am starting to get hot." I grab Luke's arm and pull him out on to
the balcony.

*I'll only continue if someone wants me to. If not, then you guys get to
live in suspense. ;)*


===


From: "Per'agana"
Date: Tue, 05 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi RR

This goes on the timeline right before Siduri makes it out to the balcony.
(p.s. to Siduri-- I *like* that bolt of hatred thing. Gotta learn that! :)

******
I left Exar to go charm the clients and set about trying to see what
I could do to make
Ziggy's gala a success. Ziggy looked pretty frazzled. I made a mental note
to go find her
later and see if I could cheer her up–maybe lock her in the storage closet
with Obi-Wan
or something. I looked around the room. All the clients looked like they
were having a
pretty good time, at least.

I snagged a canape from the hors d'oeuvres table and did a double take at
the ice
sculpture. Intended to represent a Jedi (Qui-Gon, from the look of it) and a
Sith (Maul, I
think), the two had melted *waaay* beyond what the caterer had promised.
Maul's
beautiful horns were running down his face and Qui-Gon's activated
lightsaber was
worn down to a mere flashlight. That's it, the caterer was toast! I found
the sniveling
little shit with his pointy nose down some client's dress, obviously
convincing her he
was a Jedi. Hah, as if!

I pointed at him and did the little levitation trick Exar taught me. The
caterer was lifted
clear off his feet, which proceeded to windmill in panic. "Yeeeeeagh! Let me
down, let
me DOWN!" His face turned a brilliant shade of apoplectic red.

"Not until you ask me nicely and DO SOMETHING ABOUT THOSE ICE
SCULPTURES!!!", I snarled. I flipped him around so the tails from his foppy
little red-
velvet flocked waistcoat hung in his face.

"y...yes, okay, whatever you want...", he stammered. "Just put me down!"

"Fine, whatever you want." I released the Force pressure abruptly and he hit
the ground
with a satisfying "whumpf." This had to be the 99th violation of our
contract so far.
Enough was enough! I looked over and saw Aya giving me the thumbs up from
the
other side of the room. She wasn't too thrilled with the little weasel
either– he'd tried to
make *her* carry all the platters in.

That settled, I turned back to enjoy my canape and survey the room. One of
our newest
clients, the Sith whore, was glaring daggers at one of the Jedi. Oh, *not*
good. The guy
went up in flames before I could get over there. I quickly located Ziggy
amid the crowd.

"Hey Zigs, did we have the staff sign a waiver to work for us?"

Yup, definitely frazzled. She was trying to look all around the room at
once. "Trouble,
Ziggy?"

She rolled her eyes. "Just what you'd expect! Vader's spiking the drinks,
Obi-Wan and
his clone are running around spilling margarita mix all over everyone,
and.."

"Wait a minute," I said incredulously. "His *clone*???"

She resolutely pushed her hair out of her face. "Don't ask! And I think the
council did
ask everyone to sign something. Why? What happened *now*?"

"Welll....one of the Jedi just got barbecued."

"Not the Sith.....they *better* not..."

"Nope, one of the clients-- that new one, Siduri."

"Which Jedi?", she asked, clearly dreading the answer.

"Lightsinger", I replied and watched her wince at, among other things, the
lost revenue.
The boy wasn't as lucrative as the Dynamic Duo, but he was pretty popular.

"Oh, God...I hope we don't get sued. We need to.....Vader, put that down!!!"
She tore off
after Vader, who was holding a brass flask in his hand and trying to look
innocent– a
pretty hard task in that mask of his!

I looked for Maul but noticed he was deep in conversation with Patricia, one
of our
better clients. Odd, I thought, she usually goes for Jedi... I shrugged it
off and walked
over and wrapped an arm around Qui-Gon, who was for once bereft of his
legion of
adoring fans. "How goes it, Jedi-Jinn?" Bizarrely enough, Qui-Gon and I had
managed
to become pretty good friends. I was still attracted to him, but there are
just some things
a Sith apprentice just *doesn't* do.

He squeezed me back and tickled one of the feathers in my headband with the
Force. "I
wondered where you'd been. I thought Nadd might have you bound and tied up
somewhere for one of your "training sessions."

I shuddered. "Don't start, Qui-Gon!" I said in a mock-menacing tone. We
tried to avoid
the really heavy Jedi vs Sith debates, but he still teased me about it.

"I was taking care of that caterer and...." I broke off in mid-sentence as I
watched
Patricia march in from the balcony where she'd gone with Maul not *nearly*
long
enough ago for Maul to be, well, Maul. I caught the satisfied, triumphant
look on her
face as she walked by. Uh-oh!

I ran out to the balcony and found Maul before he could come in. He was
really, *really*
pissed. "Okay, Maul, what did I miss?" I said casually.

Maul simply growled and tried to brush past me. "Not so fast, Maul!"

He showed absolutely no sign of listening to me. "Maul.....MAUL!" I grabbed
him by two
front horns and pushed him back against the wall.

"Out of my way, apprentice!" he snarled.

That did it! "Not tonight, Maul. Tonight the part of your boss will be
played a tall,
bosomy, purple-haired woman, i.e., *me*. And as your boss, I want to know
what the
HELL you think you're going to do to that client!"

He sighed. "You don't understand..." he broke off and sent a few choice
images to my
mind. Oh yeah, I understood. Gods, my poor Maul!

"Well, she *is* one of our best clients", I said reasonably, "and it isn't
like she didn't
have cause..."

Maul snorted. I glared at him. "She has a thing for Qui-Gon. You know,
you....Qui-
Gon...Phantom Menace?" His eyes widened in understanding.

"You know, Maul, it *was* a pretty Sithly way of getting revenge on you,
especially for a
light-side girl."

He raised an eyebrow and a small smile flashed across his face. "I suppose
it was, at
that...perhaps I will have to continue this with her, later. Right now...."
he broke off and
reached a hand behind my head, tilting my face toward his and kissing me
deeply.

I returned his kiss with deepening hunger, only reluctantly pulling my mouth
away from
his and resting my head against his chest. I reached up and stroked one of
his little side
horns with my fingertip. "Tonight's for the clients, Maul, not me. Though
you'd better
make good on that promise to teach me the mind whammy tomorrow!"

I looked through the glass door. "In fact, I'd say you have a rather eager
client on her
way over here. Do me a favor, will you—have a little chat with this one. She
needs to
quit murdering the employees! I think she'll definitely listen to you..."

He looked at the Sith warrior walking his way. "Who'd she kill?"

"Edoril Lightsinger."

Maul snorted again. I sighed, "yes, I *know* he's a lightsider and a very
annoying one at
that, but he was a *profitable* annoying lightsider! Tell her to back off or
I'll get that Hutt
attorney of ours to fleece her for lost wages." I grinned back at him and
left him to what
would likely be his latest conquest.



===


From: spacefan
Date: Tue, 5 Oct 1999
Subject: [sith_chicks] Round Robin:Rent-A-Jedi

Okay here goes... Smut alert...smut alert...I repeat nc-17 approaching. I figured I'd get this ball rolling. After all, they are rent-a-jedi and most of us are satisfied customers.BWHAHAHAHAHA. BTW my character is a real slut tonight...so if you can't handle it. Dont read on.

AH...Gabrielle....after you

Don't expect to much plot over the next postings...
And yes I switched from first to third it may even be an abh i don't know whatever is easier. She's easy!! WOOOHOOO!!

Gabrielle swung her hair over shoulder and laughed heartily at Yin-Yang-Yung's jokes.
"I never knew knights had such a wicked sense of humor." She purred to the short stout humanoid with green scales.
"We are wicked in other ways as well." He stroked her arm
"All within the realm of the light of course." You nodded knowing you stuck to humans only. It was bias you had wrong but there nonetheless.
"Of course." He grinned.
"Excuse me." A determined voice interrupted behind her.
Gabrielle looked back casually and curled her mouth slightly as Master Mace Windu dismissed the Knight.
"Hello Mace."
Mace tilted his head knowingly.
"I mean Master Windu." She smiled teasingly.
"You've been here all this time and yet you neglected to come my way." He stated placing his hands in his sleeves in the Jedi Stance.
"I'm mingling."
"No what you are is upset."
"Stop reading me Mace it's unbecoming." Gabrielle took a drink off a tray from a passing droid.
"Why do you even bother with that stuff." He said taking the drink from her hand, "It barely affects you. As a matter of fact I'm sure the royal family wouldn't want their most trusted aide imbibing so close to the time."
Gabrielle gazed into his mahogany eyes. She caressed the creamy skin of face and felt the strength of his strong features.
"I've decided to pass on that and lead the single carefree life. That time with you and Qui-Gon changed my mind." She wrapped her arms around him feeling the weight of his longing enveloping her like a fluffy comforter on a winter's eve.
//Come with me//

After walking for what seemed to be an eternity the two stopped in a room which contained a desk, a picture window, their hot bodies pressed against a wall.

Their heavy panting echoed throughout the darkened room as they hungered over each other smuthering their faces and neckes with kisses.

Mace squeezed her tight breast causing her to moan.
"Too much fabric tonite." he panted at the bosom trapped behind the cloth.
"Shut up and fuck me Mace."

With that he hoised up her dress and lifted her up allowing her hot center to rest on his bulging groin. She pretzeled her legs around him as mouthed a breast he managed to free from her dress.

Mace placed Gabrielle upon her back on top of the desk and hiked up her dress as far as it could go.

//Do you want me?// he asked massaging her throbbing clit through her black thong.

"Uh-hunh." Was all she could manage. "GASP!" she yelped as his fingers roughly entered her feeling her wetness permiate his finger tips.
She let out a throaty moan and arched back.

"Please." She begged...


~~TBC~~


===


From: "Selah Specht"
Date: Tue, 05 Oct 1999 20:20:59 CDT
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi RR




I sighed as I noticed that the caterer was running for his life.
Per'agana must've scared him good. Good for her, I was getting tired of the
rat trying to cop a feel everytime he got near me. I couldn't hide my wince
as I regarded the Qui/Maul ice statue now, that was starting to resemble
some kind of creature that was melting with an agonizing expression on its
face.

"Artoo!!" I hissed, motioning for the droid. "Get that thing out of
here...and see if you can find something to replace it!" He beeped an
affirmative and rolled off, wobbling just a little bit. I frowned, wondering
if sending him off like that was a good idea after all. Glancing around, I
tried to compose myself. Nothing big had happened...just lost an employee,
almost had a fight get out of control, have the guests were inebriated or
having the time of their lives, or both, but that was good...if I could just
keep the more interesting things out of the line of sight of the council
members, everything would be fine. Mace seemed to have gotten away from the
festivities, but I knew better than to go after him. I smiled, maybe
slightly bitterly as I watched Luke head out with a young woman to the
balcony. Lucky girl. Ah, well. I loved him to death, but was too scared to
ever admit it. Besides, I had other things to occupy my time with, mainly
trying to keep from going insane at the moment.

Letting my theatre training take over I floated bout the room, pulling
Sith and Jedi away from each other when I had to, setting people up when I
had to, resisting the urge to slit my wrists with a hair clip when I had
to...

I sighed in relief as I noticed that that melted ice sculpture was gone.
Good, Artoo had done his job, after all.

"You all right?" I turned and gave a tired smile to Per'agana.

"Yeah, just trying to keep everything up and running..."

"You mean from going to complete chaos?" she asked wryly.

"That would be nice," I quipped, turning to look at the new ice
sculpture...

My eyes probably bugged out of my head at that moment. I was surprised
I didn't faint. One thing was for sure, Artoo did not have a nice sense of
humor. For there, in the center of the buffet table, still perfectly in
tact, was that intriguing little piece he had carved of Yoda earlier.

"How...?" I managed, wringing my hands as I cast an accusatory glare
towards the droid. He just whistled in what he tried to pass off as innocent
tones.

"Artoo...that...isn't...funny..." I stammered. In response, the little
droid blew a metallic raspberry and whizzed across the room before I could
throw him against a wall. "I'm not going to make it through tonight...I'm
honestly going to have a heart attack or something..." I sighed, glancing at
Per'agana who's jaw had dropped in horror slightly. Following her gaze, I
about wanted to cry as I saw Yoda heading towards that very table...

"WAIT!!!" I bellowed, running to intercept him, making it just in time.

"So nervous are you? Hiding something you are?" Yoda asked, trying to
see around my shoulders and spread arms.

"Of course not!!! I just...um...heard you talking about the politics
of...um....Kashyyk versus the instinctive nature of the inhabitants and it
sounded so...*mind-bogglingly boring*...um, interesting, that I just wanted
to hear some more of your thoughts on it!!" I lied through my teeth, trying
to flash a sincere smile. Yoda's ears perked up slightly and he allowed
himself to be led away from the statue, thankfully not seeing it.

"Expert I am not...talk to Mundi you should..." he was saying, showing a
genuine approval that I was interested in the council's proceedings. The
next thing I knew, I was being bombarded with the most boring conversation I
had ever experienced in my life. Gesturing frantically with my head to
Per'agana, I tried to direct her attention to the statue without letting
Yoda see. She got the hint immediately and rushed to remove it.

"Upset are you?"

"Um, no...just a neck spasm," I sighed, then made my eyelids stay open
as Mundi continued on....and on....and on....


===


From: "Celeste L'Pauvre"
Date: Tue, 05 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] R-a-J RR: Swing Out Sithter

I couldn't resist, too much of the midol/nyquil cocktail.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ow! Hey!" The persistant squishing of my hand brought me back to my senses.
A dubious thanks to the bandage viciously applied by Kun, the bleeding had
stopped...or, at the very least, I couldn't see my own blood anymore.
"Thanks, I think."

With an amused grimace, he gave the strip of cloth another tug. "I'd rather
have been tying your hand TO something. Guess this'll have to do...for now."
I swear he batted his eyelashes at me! What *had* I been drinking?

From one distraction to another, there came a sudden silence. I had been
vaguely aware of drunken karaoke warring with some other music source and
the abrupt cessation of the cacophony swivelled my head in the direction
everyone else was looking. Several of the Sith, none of whom I recognized,
had shoved the caterwauling Jedi out of the way and taken over the machine.

"Our theme song," mused Exar as a solo violin began a gypsy thrill, nowhere
near the wretched quality of most karaoke CDs. He began to sing along in my
ear, dragging me towards the dance floor....

"When the devil is to busy and death's a bit too much, they call on me by
name you see for my special touch. To the gentlemen: I'm misfortune, to the
ladies: I'm surprise, but call me by any name anyway it's all the same." At
'surprise', he dipped me, a quick pull back up and he started spinning
me....

"I'm the fly in your soup
I'm the pebble in your shoe
I'm the demon if you're bad
I'm the bump on every head
I'm the pill on which you slept
I'm the pin in every hip
I'm the thorn in your side makes you wriggle and writhe."

He snapped me close to him for a grind, definitely made me writhe. We cha
cha'd a little to the refrain.

"While there's children to make sad
While there's candy to be had,
While there's pockets left to pick
While there's grannies left to trip down the stairs
I'll be there I'll be waiting 'round the corner
It's a game, I'm glad I'm in it, cause there's one born every minute."

We'd moved on to full lambada (which I was surprised could be done to gypsy
violin) and, in the whirling glimpses I got while I spun yet again, I could
see others joining. Most looked pretty surprised.

"I pledge my allegience to all things dark and I promise on my damned soul
to do as I am told, for Beezlebub has never seen a soldier quite like me:
not only does his job but does it happily."

What a smile he gave me. Wicked to the core and full of promise.

"I'm the fear that keeps you wake
I'm the shadows on the wall
I'm the monsters they become
I'm the nightmare in your skull
I'm the dagger in your back
An extra turn upon the rack
I'm the quivering of your heart
A stabbing pain, a sudden start"

During the third refrain, I saw the ousted Jedi beginning to regroup. the
music slowed....

"It gets so lonely being evil
What I'd do to see a smile," Kun sang softly, long fingers toying with the
tops of my stockings as he unsubtly waltzed me towards the stairs. I didn't
even care that I was very likely flashing all and sundry.

"Even for a little while
And noone loves you when you're evil," he pouted, lips brushing lightly
against mine.

"I'm lying through my teeth
You're tears are all the company I need." My heart dropped to my stomach,
the rest of my nerves jangling madly, when he nipped my bottom lip. The
taste of my blood mingled with whatever it was he'd been drinking as he
pressed his advantage, becoming to a tongue tangling kiss. He chuckled deep
in his throat and continued moving us along.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, now here's the question: should the Jedi regroup with Bowie's "Young
Americans" (probably adulterated) or.....? This is addictive. I can't get
the image of Maul singing out of my head. It must be the drugs. And this
*is* where the smut starts, right? I can manage that, unless someone else
had plans for Exar Kun....Let me know,eh? What can I say, I'm ill and the
bloody lead actor on the thrice cursed movie I'm supposed to have started
work on yesterday has changed his tiny mind about his female lead and put
the rest of us on bloody HOLD! Must not kill.....

T'ra, Celeste the stressed

PS: the song is called "When You're Evil" by Voltaire. It's damn perky goth!
http://www.voltaire.net/


===


From: "Darth Diebin"
Date: Wed, 06 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] RaJ RR: Meanwhile, back in the freezer . . .

I'm sending Obi-Wan back to mingle, my children. ;)

Oh don't look at me like that Ziggy, or I'll tell Qui you're sick again. *g*
~~~~~~~~
Yoda?

Of all the ice sculptures to be locked in a freezer with, it had to be Yoda.
It's actually starting to feel a little cold in here now--which means that
the heat Obi-Wan generates in my body isn't permanant. Somehow I find that
reasurring--but it does mean that I'm gonig to have to leave the freezer
before too long.

Determined to keep myself away from the party for a little longer, I circle
the half-finished Yoda sculpture. Not all that bad for a shorted out
confused little droid.

I'm just deciding whether or not I should cover it up when the freezer door
opens again. Convinced that Aya is back to drag me forcibly out of the
freezer, I turn and level a glare at the door . . .

. . . and immediately feel the room get warm again. Damn him--how on earth
did he think to look in the /freezer/?

It was definatly Ziggy this time. No doubt about it.

"What are you doing in here Diebin?" Obi-Wan asks, taking in my flushed body
and the ice sculpture of Yoda. He raises one eyebrow at me and I blush
deeper, wishing he'd just go away. He's obviously waiting for a response, so
I open my mouth to tell him exactly what I think of him barging into my
hideout.

"Uhhhh--" Very elequont, I am. Very, very elequont.

"You must be cold," Obi-Wan continues, pacing forwards towards me I back
up--directly into the Yoda sculpture. It's freezing against my mostly bare
back, so I stumble forwards again, this time directly into Obi-Wan's
outstretched arms.

"Ahhh--"

"You /are/ cold," he says softly in my ear, hands dancing over the skin of
my back. "You need someone to keep you warm."

"Eeeerr--"

"Leave her alone, Obi-One," a voice from the doorway says. I duck under
Obi-Wan's arm and glance towards the door, feeling my eyes go wide.

There's two of him. The one behind me has his arms wrapped around me again
as the one by the door starts moving forwards, glaring at his clone.

"She's cold, Obi-Wan," the Obi behind me says, and I pick up the slightly
different inflection on the word. Ahhh . . . Obi-/Wan/ and Obi-/One/. That
still doesn't explain why there's two of them.

And why they're in the freezer with me.

"You're making her nervous," Obi-Wan says, reaching out a hand to push
Obi-Wan back before catching my hand and tucking it in his elbow. "It's
okay, Diebin--I'll take care of you."

"Which one of you--" It's really difficult to form a coherent thought right
now, and I settle for helplessly looking back and forth between the two of
them. They both level devestating grins at me, Obi-Wan's warm and Obi-One's
mischevious.

Deciding that there's no help for it, I do what any girl in my place would
do. I faint.

That was probably not the best idea, since I wake up in the kitchen, lying
across both of their laps.

"She's waking up," one of them says--I think it's Obi-One.

"Give her to me. It's your fault she fainted." Someone's dragging me away
from one of the wam bodies, and I find myself firmly seated in Obi's lap.
One of them.

"You're the one who walked in when I had everything under control," the
other protests, and I conclude that this must be Obi-One. "She'd rather be
with me."

"Well she's perfectly content being in my lap, so you can just sod off,"
Obi-Wan responds.

They both fall silent as I shake my head, trying to get a coherent sentence
out. "I--what--who are--butterfly clip?"

Damn it's hard to think with him around. Both of him. I can feel the heat in
my body already--beckoning me towards the walk-in.

"See--she wants to be with me," Obi-One crows, grabbing me and hauling me
out of Obi-Wan's lap. "I'm the one with the butterfly clip."

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes as he stands. "I'm going back out to the party," he
says. "If you need any help, Diebin, just come and get me. I'm not sure how
trustworthy One here is."

"Uh-huh," I say, trying to squirm my way out of Obi-One's lap before I
disgrace myself. He may not be the real thing, but his affect on my body is
every bit as devestating.

"We'll be fine," Obi-One declares, spinning me around in his lap to face
him. "Won't we?"

::SEND HELP!:: I think at the top of my mental lungs as he leans forward to
kiss me. If someone doesn't get in here soon, chances are I'll pass out
again.
~~~~~

I declare this a result of cold medicine. DON'T BLAME ME! I'm feverish and
delusional!


===


From: "Selah Specht"
Date: Wed, 06 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] RaJ RR - death of karaoke

I frowned from where I was discussing something, I had long ago forgotten
what, with Master Mundi as I noticed an Obi walking out of the kitchen, a
grimace on his face. My eyes widened as I noticed that he was the one
without the hair clip. That meant that...

Oh shit.

"Excuse me a moment...duty calls!!" I said quickly to the Jedi Master in
front of me before running like made in the kitchen, nearly twisting my
ankle off in the process. Upon entering even I had to raise an eyebrow at
the sight of Diebin spread over the Obi clone's lap, he just getting ready
to make his move...

"Ahem," I coughed softly and both looked up abruptly, Diebin gratefully
and Obi-One, well, not so gratefully. "Listen, kids, there'll be time for
that later...right now somebody has to go back out there and flirt with all
the customers," I said sternly, glaring at Obi-One.

"But you said-"

"I said check on her not...well, not THAT! Now get out of here!" I
sighed, rolling my eyes as he made a face and left the kitchen. "Sorry bout
that..." I sighed, kicking at the Yoda ice sculpture that Per'agana had
moved into the kitchen. Diebin nodded vaguely, still under the influence of
the Obis, I suppose. "Don't ask...I have no idea how it happened, I don't
*want* to know..." I paused as the music grew louder still and the Jedi
Master Karaoke Society seemed to be trying to sing a retort to the Sith
number earlier on. I hissed out a long breath, trying to stay calm. Karaoke
had just gotten on my nerves, and with everything else, it was not what I
needed or wanted to hear at the moment. There was one thing I knew for
certain...that machine had to go.

Silently, I reached into a drawer and grabbed my weapon, then stalked out
into the party room, grinning slightly as a few folks jumped out of my way
when they saw what I was carrying. With as much ladylike charm as I could
muster, I sauntered over to the karaoke machine, hefted the butcher knife,
and promptly drove it into the thing with all my strength. Sparks flew and
the machine went dead immediately. Withdrawing my weapon, I paused only to
forward to a really good song on the stereo where "'hours...' was finding a
home.

You still can't breathe and you don't know why...
Life's a bit and sometimes you die
You still can't breathe but you just can't tell
Don't hold your breathe the pretty things are going to hell...

I glared at the Jedi glee club still standing stunned in front of the
machine.

"You hear that? You'll be going to worse places if you don't
cut...it...out!!! Go find something better to do with your time...get laid
or something...just no more karaoke!!!" I snarled, then flounced back into
the kitchen to put away the knife.


**********************************

Couldn't help it, had to find some way to celebrate getting that CD
yesterday!! Haven't listened to all of it yet, but to what I have...OH MY.
It's fabulous...I about had a crying fit all through Thursday's
Child...sigh....and the cover...OH MY!!!!

Ziggy


===


From: Aya
Date: Wed, 6 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi RR: Now the Jedi

I stood in the background for the time being, Between Ziggy wanting to filet
the caterer, Liz keeping the Sith in check and Dieben hiding in the kitchen,
I was enjoying the show. I was getting ready to leave, (my 'real' self had
to make an appearance sometime) when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder.

"Excuse me, have we met?"

I smiled at Qui-Gon. "I'm sure you'd have remembered if we did." Well at
least I wasn't lying then.

He caught my hand in his. "Are you a senate member? One of our clients I
have'nt had the pleasure of..." he kissed my hand... "meeting."

No wonder he's so popular with our ladies, I thought. "No, not a client." I
gently took my hand back. "Actually I'm here because Ziggy asked me to be.
I really have to get going."

"You can't go yet. We..." his voice cut off as Maul walked by, bumping not
so gently. He turned and faced Maul's unrepentant grin.

"So sorry," Maul oozed.

"You twit," Qui-Gon said under his breath. They started to face off and I
cast a glance at Ziggy. She nodded, came over and grabbed the two of them
leading them over to the side, having a nice "chat" with them. I used that
opportunity to leave.

Or try to. Mace and Obi-Wan stood near the door. "You aren't leaving so
soon are you?"

"Sorry boys," I purred, "but duty calls."

Obi-Wan sauntered over, that wonderful cat-like prowl of his. I just smiled
and enjoyed the view. "I hope you enjoyed yourself, " he said, lowering his
lips to mind.

What the hell, I thought. As me, he'd never give me the time of day. I
seductively stroked the length of his braid with a well manicured fingernail.
"I am now." Then twining it between my fingers I pulled gently and gave him
a slow lazy kiss, exploring his mouth with my tongue. I slowly slid my hand
down to the bulge in his trousers and gave it a soft stroke. Letting his
braid go, I ended our kiss and slowly walked to the door. "Good night..."

"Wait," he said breathlessly. "I never got your name."

I turned my head gracefully and smiled. "No, you didn't" Then I winked at
Mace and sauntered out.

About twenty mintues later, I came back, glasses on, hair down, in flowy
green dress that looked good but nothing like the little black number. I
smiled at the guys as I walked in. They all waved, instant recognition, and
went back to charming the clients. I went to the boss.

"Jeez Aya, talk about transformation. I mean you look good, but ..."

I laughed. "I know. Happens all the time. So what did I miss?"
~~~~~~~


===


From: "Crysta Novelli"
Date: Wed, 06 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] R-a-J RR: catching up



Okay, here is my attempt at humor. I'm going a little bit back in time, so
I hope I get the timeline somewhat correct...


*****************

Luke pulled me close and I leaned into his embrace. He was a pretty decent
dancer, and I was falling fast. I'd always been infatuated with him ever
since he saved the day in ROTJ with that awesome one-handed flip over the
sarlacc pit, and being this close to him was making my head spin. Or maybe
the alcohol was doing that... At this point, I wasn't really sure any more.

"Mmm, Crysta, you smell good," he murmured in my ear.

I smiled. I rarely wore purfume, but this had said, "Guaranteed to make
them swoon", and I just couldn't resist. Hey, you can never have too much
luck these days!

I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, running one hand through
his hair, and suddenly felt myself being pulled downwards as Luke toppled to
the floor. "Woah, what...?!" I exclaimed as I found myself sprawled on top
of Luke, my knee _extremly_ close to his groin. //Oh, _that_ was close!// I
thought. //Ziggy would have my head if I damaged the merchandise!//

I looked to Luke for an explanation, and he muttered something about
tripping over something, but I didn't get a chance to hear his explanation
because a pair of strong hands suddenly wrapped themselves around my narrow
waist and pulled me to my feet. Turning around to thank them, I came face
to face with Qui-Gon Jinn. Or rather, I was face to shoulder with the Jedi
Master. "Uh, thank you," I said, leaning back to see his eyes.

"You're very welcome," he replied, smiling, as he reached down to give Luke
a hand. Luke accepted it with a grateful glance to Qui-Gon and a sheepish
look directed my way. I grinned at him. He was so cute, how could I
possibly be mad?

I started to go back to Luke, but Qui-Gon pulled me away. "Excuse me," he
asked Luke, "but do you mind if I cut in?" Luke looked a little
disappointed, but he nodded. "I've been watching you since you arrived,
little one," he crooned at me in that deep, sultry voice of his, and I felt
my knees start to wobble as he lead me across the room, away from Luke.
//Oh, man, Jedi and alcohol are NOT a good combination// I realized as I
stumbled and Qui-Gon caught me in his powerful grasp.

He was a better dancer than I would have thought, and sure was a charmer!
Suddenly, though, the music stopped and there was a short pause before I
heard the beginning strains of Abba's "Dancing Queen" blaring throughout the
room. I frowned at Qui-Gon, confused, and then grimaced as I heard a chorus
of drunken Jedi Masters singing along.

"Oh, my Gods," I groaned. It was _awful_! Qui-Gon, however, thought
differently. He un-hooked my arms from around him, and raced over to grab a
mic and join in. I couldn't believe it. I was in agony! Kareoke, the
world's _ultimate_ weapon. If this was Ziggy's idea of a good time, she was
_sorely_ mistaken!

I whirled around and stormed away, trying to get as far from the noise as I
could. Luke was dancing with someone else now. I watched as Vader cut in,
and thought I had my chance, but then a new girl approached, and they headed
out to the balcony.

The so-called music was giving me a headache, so I picked up another drink
from a passing droid. At this point, I could care less whether or not it
was spiked. In fact, the more alcohol the better! I headed out to the
balcony for a bit to spy on Luke and the other woman.

No sooner had I gotten halfway across the floor when I heard the hum of
lightsabres. //Uh, oh. This doesn't sound good// I whirled around to see
Vader and an unfamiliar Jedi about to cause some damage. Ziggy came running
and quickly put an end to it, the Jedi and Sith following her from the room
like two little kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

This was too much. I needed fresh air, and fast! Turning once more to the
beckoning balcony, I hurried away.

-------------------------
*tbc?*



===


From: "Selah Specht"
Date: Wed, 06 Oct 1999 12:09:34 CDT
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] RaJ RR


"What have you missed? Not much...me killing the karaoke machine,
R2 pulling out the lewd ice sculpture of Yoda...basically the usual," I
sighed, rolling my eyes at Aya. Man my eyes were getting a lot of exercise
tonight! "But Per'agana told Artoo to cut the thing up and get rid of it, so
at least that problem's solved..." I sighed, then nodded as she went to go
patrol the other side of the room. Between Force ripples to the music,
Qui-Gon practically kidnapping Patricia, and the Obi twins, I was about
ready to fling myself off the balcony. Except for the fact that there looked
like there was an impending catfight over Luke about to take place on said
balcony. I decided to ignore it for the time being; Luke was a Jedi, he
could take care of himself. And as for Trish, well, I wasn't about to get
between Qui and his goal.

I sighed as I noticed that the music had been turned off for now.
Probably just as well. Making the rounds again, I barely noticed a small
object flying above the heads in the room, but decided it wasn't important
enough to think about now. I walked over to the buffet table, made sure the
food wasn't drugged or anything, glanced at the punch bowl...

"AYA!!!" I bellowed over the cacophany of laughter and conversation.
She was at my side in an instant, as was Liz.

"Please tell me that isn't what I think it is..." I whimpered, staring
at the ice chunks in the bowl. A string of beeps was my reply and I turned
and glared daggers at the astromech droid.

"I told you to cut it up and get rid of the pieces...I did NOT say to
put part of the ice Yoda's anatomy in the punch bowl, especially NOT
THAT!!!" I told him as Aya and Liz quickly ushered council members that had
congregated near us away from the distraction. Muttering every curse I could
think of, I grabbed the ladle and fished out the frozen member, hid it
behind my back, and quickly tried to make it to the kitchen.

My attention was diverted as Diebin went running across the room,
Obi-One just a few feet behind, stalking easily. I stepped in front of him.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" I asked, menace in my voice.

"Just checking up on Diebin?"

"You're here for the customers right now, clone boy...I'd cut it out
before I have your hormones removed and sent to a viagra plant..." I spat,
waving my hand in his face. The hand that was holding the stupid ice shaft.
His eyes widened in surprise and a wicked grin erupted on his face.

"Why *Mistress*....and here I thought you were determined not to have
fun this evening!"

"Shut UP you!" I growled, smacking him lightly on the shoulder with the
hunk of ice. "Artoo put it in the punch bowl! I'm just getting it out of
here before anyone notices it!"

"What would we notice?" I stifled a groan and turned, hiding my hand
behind my back again.

"Nothing Master Yoda...I've just got to keep checking up on everyone,"
I explained, frowning as Obi-One tried to pry the thing from my grip, then
had to settle for stabbing him in the gut with the head. "Nothing I cannot
handle, Sir," I added at his unconvinced stare.

"To me it seems this place handled right now is not," he remarked, only
half serious as he walked away and I did groan this time. Turning, I whacked
the clone upside the head with the member one more time before heading to
the kitchen, mentally putting him on the "I'll never talk to them again
because if I do I'll surely run them over with a truck" list. Inside the
kitchen I quickly grabbed a mallet and crushed the offending piece of ice
before throwing them in the sink. Sighing, I wiped my hands on a towel and
went back to the room...

Everything was all right, I supposed. The chaos hadn't gotten any worse.
Then I saw it. The flying object I had seen a while ago. It was the center
of attention of a group of padawans from the temple who had had more than
there limit of drink and by the flat circular shape I could tell that it
was...

"No..No...NONONONONONOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" was the first thing out of my
mouth as I ran like hell over there, jumping up and grabbing the CD from
dirty fingertips. "I JUST GOT THIS!!!! THIS IS A BRAND NEW ALBUM AND YOU
GOT YOUR FREAKIN FINGERPRINTS ALL OVER IT!!! IT IS *NOT* A FRISBEE!!!!" I
screamed, returning it to its case and clutching it for dear life in my
hands. I'd have to return it to my room later, but I didn't even want to
head upstairs if this was what the downstairs was like. I quickly locked it
up in my desk drawer in the lobby, then went back to the group of padawans.
They were the council's guests, so I couldn't kill them or kick them out.
Instead, I settled for giving my best glare and ordering them to sit in the
corner for a good amount of time. Mumbling something about having a
permanent migraine, I walked to the wall and with a huff leaned back against
it, just waiting for what would happen next.


===


Date: 6 Oct 99
From: JediPatricia
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi RR: saved... or not?


Sorry Diebin, couldn't resist ;-) (hiding under the desk to avoid Bolt of
Hatred... oops, there goes the desk!)

-------

"I'm asking this only once... what the *hell* is going on here?!!" Ziggy's
voice raised above the mingled crowd's, and I dared a peek from under the Dark
Lord's cape. She stood bravely between the two men, ignoring their stares.
Once she took a good look at me, she quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me
behind her. "My patience is running out pretty quickly, Vader. First you spike
the drinks, then you pick a fight with Nejaa, and now this" she fumed, waving
a finger at Vader.

"I was just dancing, he's the one intruding-"

"I don't want to hear it!" Ziggy snapped, to Qui-Gon's pleasure. His amused
quirk disappeared in a flash, however, when she turned her attentions to him.
"And you – don't say a word, but I'll risk you're not innocent either." Ziggy
turned to check on me and Vader took the cue to snort and disappear strolling
into the crowd. "Are you all right, Trish?" Ziggy asked, concerned.

"Oh, I'm..." My attempt to produce coherent speech was shattered when I
hiccuped. And again. "...fine... I just..." Hiccup. "...fruit juice..."
Hiccup.

"Fruit juice, huh? Say no more." Ziggy concluded, rolling her eyes out. "What
on Coruscant was I thinking when I came up with this?" On the karaoke machine,
Macarena replaced Mambo Nr 5. The look on Ziggy's face had to be seen to be
believed.

Qui-Gon took hold of my hand between his two large ones. "You just keep things
here in check Ziggy, I'll take care of Patricia."

Ziggy eyed him suspiciously, then turned to me. "Trish?"

"...." Hiccup.

I was rapidly losing the ability to stand, and swayed from foot to foot.
Qui-Gon wrapped am arm around my shoulders, providing blessed support. Even if
he was the last person I wanted to see right now. "She's in no condition to be
left alone, Ziggy. Besides, don't you trust me? I *am* a Jedi."

"Ha! *That's* an old one!" Suddenly the room seemed to shake in its own
version of Macarena. "What the..."

"Force ripple. Nothing you wouldn't expect in a room full of Force
sensitives." Qui-Gon remarked, before leading me away from a stunned Ziggy.
"I'll just take Patricia to the kitchen to freshen up."

I think Ziggy screamed something about the kitchen, but it was lost in the
sudden boom when a woman dressed in green (though *dressed* was an
overstatement) threw an energy ball at some Light Side guy, turning him to
toast. /Now there's a good date for Maul/ I thought... Hiccup.

The kitchen door opened to reveal two Obi-Wan Kenobis trying to open the
freezer door. Inside the freezer I could hear a woman screaming, "Stay away
from me!"

"Nooo," Hiccup. "...now I'm seeing doubles!" I wailed, throwing self-esteem to
the winds and flinging myself into Qui-Gon's arms.

"Not really" one of them said. "I'm Obi-Wan, this is my clone Obi-One."

"Hi there" the Obi-clone greeted. The room was starting to spin around me.
Hiccup.

"Busy, Padawans?" Qui-Gon casually remarked. They both nodded, mischief
written all over their faces. I pitied the girl inside the freezer. Then
again, maybe not... "I'll take Patricia upstairs, then."

I snapped awake... as much as the alcohol in my system would let me. "No! I'm
not going..." Hiccup. "...upstairs with you!"

Qui-Gon sighed, as if talking to a stubborn child. "You're not well. You need
to rest."

"No way!!" Hiccup.

He picked me up and flung me over his shoulder. "If you're going to be
difficult I'll just *carry* you upstairs. All the way through the party."

"You wouldn't dare..." Qui-Gon took a step to the door. Hiccup. "No! Stop!" He
paused still. I was getting dizzy from being upside down. "Put me down!" He
wordlessly complied. By the freezer, the Obi-Twins were appreciating the scene
with great interest.

"Shall we go then?" Qui-Gon asked, wrapping his arm around my shoulders again.
There was no way I could escape his grasp. Before he led me out of the
kitchen, I played my last, desperate card.

"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!" I nearly screamed, turning to
the Obi-Twins. They just looked at me and shook their heads, grinning, before
returning their attention to the freezer door. I just barely saw then open it
before leaving the kitchen in Qui-Gon's tow, the woman inside screaming,
"Noooo!"



===


From: spacefan
Date: Wed, 6 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks]NC-17 R-A-Jedi RR

AND now back to your regularly scheduled smut.

Oh yea by the way...Sith Chick with the hardware! I think your name is siduri. Could you e-mail me? I think we can make some cool music together playing with/torturing the Jedi and the Sith.

I'm an equal opportunity bitch when I wanna be. (Course I will not be party too truly hurting the Master and Ponytail. But still...I can see us having fun in this round robin.


Gabrielle moaned and writhed seductively within Mace's steel grasp as he held her legs open. Her force sensitive mind sent out waves of pleasure raising his arousal to knew peaks. He placed the tip of his stiff cock at the entrance of her dripping wetness wiggling it around the center before smoothly inserting it inside of her.

        She and Mace moved their hips in rhythm with each other quickening their pace with each motion.


        CRASH!!!!!! BANG!!!!! Went the instruments of Sy Snoodles' band as she walked out insulted by the mere notion of taking a back seat to KARAOKE.

"Be reasonable," Ziggy pleaded to the short alien with a stalk for a mouth and long spindly legs. "It was a mistake, I had no idea when I booked you that anyone would possibly bring up the notion, must less perform-- you know..." She didn't complete the thought for fear of sending the great artiste into another fit.

        Sy crossed her arms. "Well...." She intoned softening a bit.
        "The night's young and you are after all the entertainment. The true star of this gala." Ziggy gestured grandly recalling every Celine Dion/Barbara Streisand/Mariah Carey video she's ever seen.

        A smile crept across Sy's ruby red lips. "I suppose I could persuade the band to go back on."
"Oh could you?" Ziggy asked sweetly thinking that if she kept this up any longer she'd puke.

        "Sure." Sy waved grandly.
        "And could you--- as a favor to me. Could you play the song from Return of the Jedi?" Ziggy put her hands together in a prayerful manner. "I'm big fan."

        Suddenly a dark sith type lady with pierced body parts and air of FUCK YOU-ness passed by the two making her way to the sith side of the room where several Sith began to congregate.

        "Anything for a fan." Sy purred.

        Meanwhile Gabrielle and Mace strolled out their room of merriment arm and arm.
"I'm sorry Gabrielle but--" Mace began
She silenced him with a playful grin sensing the call he'd just received from Yoda mentally, "No apologies tonight. We must do what we must do."
"I knew you'd understand."
"Don't worry about it." She waved him off and craned her neck as he turned the corner.
"I thought he'd never leave." Gabrielle murmured slyly and made her way to the main ballroom.

        Now she was free to pursue her true prey now that jealous ex-boyfriend number one was out of the way. It was time for number two. She'd been a long time customer with the agency regularly seeing he, qui-gon and Luke (for foreplay briefly). The arrangement became so intense between them that she was unable to have a regular social life with regular boyfriends. They took care that any such thoughts of wonderment on her part were cleanly placed out of her mind. But things went horribly awry when she got greedy and her ego overstepped its bounds by inviting he and Qui-Gon to play one day.

        It was a disaster. Two Alpha-Males staking out a territory--not good. Yea, it made for some great sex that day, kinda rough and of course she couldn't walk for a week. But still it was bad. Both of them sought her out individually demanding that she end it with the other. She decided instead to end it with both of them. It would be better. She convinced Mace it would be better for he and Qui-Gon's friendship that she not see either of them any more. She even went so far as to say she would cut off all ties to the agency but not the SW Fandom of course. After all she was giving up sex with them not her life. Mace agreed for he knew his time on the council allowed no true time for a relationship.

        Qui-Gon on the other hand had said, "Now that you've stopped fucking him our friendship will become strong again."
"But that means you and I--"
"No." he answered flatly, "You are mine."
When looking into his beautiful blue eyes, she could only agree to be apart of what she was sure was a harem. Damn if that man didn't deserve one.
It was an easy choice for her to make. For when she was with Qui-Gon...his mind touched her in ways that Mace's never could. She wanted to capture that moment again. To rekindle it...and it didn't hurt that he was able to make her come at least two times during sex.

        "I hope he isn't busy."

~~~TBC~~~
My-Gin-Gone


===


From: spacefan
Date: Wed, 6 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] R-A-J round robin

Beware you guys (is anyone reading?!!!) I just saw a Liam film called Before and After. Mind you its not the best piece of film in Moviedom but it has one thing that's important for me....A PASSIONATE LIAM. Boy was he FIRE!!!!!

So onto more nc-17 smut starring ANIMAL QUI-GON and that wonderful hoe!!! Gabrielle...

She's soo cool...I don't know guys, I'm gonna be graphic so you guys close your eyes if this gets to be too much for you. But not in the beginning but keep reading mwahahahahaaa

        Gabrielle sauntered into the room. Her ears were immediately assaulted with a vaguely familiar tune blaring across the room. She scanned the gala hall through the swaying and moving bodies on the dance floor. The dim lights prevented her from making out individual faces. She licked her dry lips and decided to quench her thirst.

        "Oops. I'm sorry." Gabrielle exclaimed bumping into her hostess Mistress Ziggy.
        "Oh..no problem." Ziggy answered pre-occupied moving off opposite of her, "Clones, clones." She murmured in the distance.

Gabrielle reached the crowded bar and asked a multitentacled alien for a drink. She reached for her Jedi-Master Card but was refused.
"Open bar thanks to Lord Vader spiking the drinks." It placed a glass of white wine spritzer before her.
        She picked it up and scanned the room as she sipped the dry drink.
        //She's really enjoying herself// Gabrielle mused to herself smiling at Sy.
        //As were you.// A distinctly smooth yet raspy voice replied in her mind.
Gabrielle's body tensed. She slowly placed her drink off side and turned to face the direction of the voice. There before her in his massive strength sat the venerable Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn. His expression was stern and hard. He sat stiffly upright on the bar stool staring directly at her. His cobalt blue eyes peered right through to her soul reading everything she has ever done.
        "Qui-Gon. What a surprise." She smiled weakly feeling like a student caught cheating on an exam. "I was just--"
He shook his head slowly.
"We discussed this little one. Didn't we? Or have you forgotten our conversation?" He placed his hands on his knees.
Gabrielle's strong bravado soon faded to mush.
"I guess so." She shrugged.
"You guess so." He answered flatly and looked off to the side. "As I recall. Our conversation was quite clear on several points."
"Master Qui-Gon, I don't believe this is the time or the place to discuss this."
"We are here together, right now. It is the perfect time." He stressed giving her a look that always made her look away.
        Gabrielle's mind raised through the possibilities of diffusing the situation. A common political tactic came to mind.
"Master, I don't understand why you're upset."
His jaw tightened. "A moment ago, you knew why."
Gabrielle could feel the heat his possessive passions rise with him. She walled off her emotions and mind hoping to gain some tactical advantage.

        Qui-Gon sensed it immediately. "Don't play games with me little one. I've mastered them all." He grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the room.
        She wriggled within his grasp.
        "Let go of me!" Gabrielle demanded and yanked herself free.
Qui-Gon towered over her. His brow furled into a deep trench.
"You are coming with me now." He stated forcing his voice to be calm.
"No." She growled back.
        Before her world went dark....her mind screamed, "That's the song from Return of the Jedi."

~~TBC~~~
My-Gin-Gone



===


From: "Carmen Nichole"
Date: Wed, 06 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] RaJ: RR - Carmen and Luke

*Warning: This is probably NC-17. This is my first smut piece. PLEASE tell
me what you think and what I need to improve*

I pull Luke into a dark corner. From the way he looks at me I can tell he is
thinking just what I am.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks as he pushes the spaghetti
straps on my dress down.

"Oh, God. YES." I whisper forcibly into his ear. I had been waiting a while
for this. Not a real relationship, just a fuck with him on a balcony during
a party of Jedi, who can probably sense everything we're going through right
now.

He plays in my hair as we make out. Then, I start to undo his shirt and then
lick down his chest. Luke looks at me and continues to push my dress down.
My leather corset underneath my dress gives him trouble. "Just leave it on
and pull my dress up, then if anyone comes out here, I'm not completely
naked." He shoves my dress up over my hips. My lips then find his, but only
for a second. He continues down my body caressing every curve and licking,
stopping for a while on the tops of my breasts that are visible above my
corset, until he hits my underwear. I moan while he is doing all this. He
pulls the leopard print thongs down and then licks my clit. My body tenses
and follows the moves he is making.

I pull him back up to me and proceed to unzip his pants and feel his
erection through them. When it pops out, I'm quite impressed. I caress it.

"Are you ready?" He asks me. My nod tells him I am. He pulls my dress up
again and lifts me to him. As he enters me, I smile. It's all I ever wanted
and then some. I move to kiss his cheeks and he begins to fuck me against
the wall. It's all I can do to keep from screaming. It feels so much better
than anything I had felt before did. Maybe it's just the feeling that any of
those people in there could come out and see us in this position. I arch in
his arms and feel his powerful thrusts all through me.

OH GOD. I need to start fucking more Jedi.

He places his hands on my butt and tells me to look into his eyes. I think I
can almost feel this through his eyes. "Luke, PLEASE FASTER." I try to
whisper, but it comes out much louder.

I can feel that I'm close to coming, or maybe that's him. I moan aloud as
the feelings fill me. I don't think I can hold it much longer and it comes.
Almost simultaneously he comes also filling me.

"Oh, God." I say slumping onto him. "That was fantastic. Better than
anything."

He smiles that endearing smile. I try not to laugh, as I remember dreaming
of this when I was younger.

That was probably the fastest I've ever come.

"It's looking you in the eyes. You share the experience." Luke answers my
unspoken thought.

I start to pull my thong up. "You don't want a second go?" he asks, trying
to look innocent.

"No," I answer him, "Though I would LOVE to, people will notice you are
missing."

I pull up my dress. Fixing my breasts in the top and then fixing my hair a
little, as it is starting to fall out. I ask him, "Well how do I look?"

"Great." He answers quickly.

"OK. Then let us reappear." We walk in and I squeeze his hand. "It was
wonderful. If you ever want an encore visit or call me here." I tell him,
producing a card out of my corset. (Where else would I keep them, I'm not
carrying a purse and I don't have pockets.) "It's where I work, but I do
have breaks. My home numbers on the back. Now go back to your other
admirers. I'm going to go mingle."

"Bye." He says, planting a firm kiss on my lips. "I just may visit
sometime." He turns away and walks away into the crowd.

A smile comes across my face. That's just one fantasy. The night is young
and I have many more to play out. I turn and walk back into the crowd. OK,
who's next.

*I guess that last paragraph may have made me the Jedi slut, or something.
I'll write more later*


===


From: "Selah Specht"
Date: Wed, 06 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] RaJ RR

I sighed an absently examined my nails, trying not to look too
totally defeated. It was official. I was in complete hell. And now there was
an open bar...I winced at the memories that brought to mind, determined that
none of the incidents that had happened on my Poland vacation would repeat
themselves here. No holding peoples' heads over toilets, no carrying people
to their rooms and being hit on by drunken Polish people, no people barfing
all over the place and making me clean it up...none of that! I had had
suspicions when I had agreed to be good and be chaperon, but I had had no
idea how wild those Jedi and Sith could get. And here I thought this was
going to be an easy nigh! Ha! The temptation to throw in the towel, retreat
to my room and listen to my album in private was unbearable, but I knew that
however bad it got downstairs, upstairs was probably worse. So I was stuck
here, doing all the political schmoozing, keeping people in line, watching
people have the time of their lives, watching Vader dance on the buffet
table...

What the-!?

Gathering the rest of my one remaining nerve, I dutifully headed over to
the table. I think this was beginning to be a sort of game with some people.
"Down," I sighed, pointing to the floor. Vader merely glanced down at me,
snorted, then resumed dancing. I glanced over at Yoda who was looking at me
questioningly and almost left the room then and there. Well, there goes my
image. Might as well get the big lug to obey for once. Not that I couldn't
be discreet about it...

"Listen you...oversized...TIN CAN!!! You've caused me enough trouble
this evening!!! GET DOWN BEFORE I PERFORM SODOMY ON YOU WITH YOUR OWN
LIGHTSABER, THE KIND THAT'LL MAKE SURE IT'S PAINFUL!!!" I said mildly,
grabbing his leg and yanking hard. He must've been sloshed, because he
immediately lost his balance and dropped to the floor, standing up quickly.

"Mistress Selah! I'm surprised at you! Even though he is a Sith, you
should have more respect for your employees!! You should have stopped him
before this started!!" Master Mundi chided and it took all of my strength
not to either burst into tears or deck him.

"Y-You're right..." I sighed, calming myself, feeling my face start to
burn with embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Lord Vader...forgive me if I
embarrassed you...have a good time," I added, desparately hoping deep down
that maybe if he got drunk enough he'd sodomize himself with his own
lightsaber. "I'll try to improve my attitude towards my employees," I told
Mundi and he nodded, glancing down at me.

"That would be a wise thing to do..." was all he said before he walked
away. I couldn't speak, I couldn't do anything except stand there, defeated.
Couldn't go to the freezer, then I'd be chided for not keeping an eye on
anyone, like it was possible. Shaking slightly, I took a deep breath and
went out to my desk to get Crime and Punishment from the drawer. It's one of
my favorite novels, although it's a little long, and at least the main
character could identify with how I was feeling right now. Besides, he got
to kill the folks he was mad at. Grumbling, I took a seat by the wall and
began to skim, glancing up from time to time at the festivities to make sure
I wouldn't get reprimanded again.


===


Date: 7 Oct 99 01:26:00 EDT
From: Siduri Archanes
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] RR: Back on the Balcony with Maul and Siduri

((again, this is in the alternate time, so I do not know if Carmen and Luke
would be witnessing this, as I am quite confused with what is happening
when))



*As the whore Siduri kneels before Maul, the Lord eyes' are riveted to her
full, pierced breasts underneath the mesh-like jade green fabric of her gown*
Arise, Warrior *he replies in his deep, sexy voice as Siduri slowly obeys, her
hands gripping the black fabric of his pant legs, lingering over his thighs
and midsection until she stands to her full height of 5'8 1/2", though he
still towers over her.* I have heard of your campaign against the Falleen in
the Sulis Sector, my dear Warrior. *he grins, taking her fingers from his
thighs and pressing them to his lips, his tongue slinking out and licking
them* How much blood have these hands spilled in the name of the Sith?

*Siduri's deep brown eyes widen, as Maul speaks to her in the language she
clearly understands- that of seduction and power. She feels her age-old
craving, rather, addiction to a male's milk building within her as his lips
meet her fingers. She smirks slightly, knowing quite well how to dance with
the devil, as it is an artform that she has perfected* I am a warrior, a
huntress, my Lord. I take delight in administering death and crushing the weak
so that I may be feared. Fear is power, is it not, my Lord? *she laughs
lightly, tossing her red tresses back and pulling one of her hands from his
lips, downward, caressing his chest, until it reaches his manhood, its warmth
percolating through his black trousers.* But that is not the only power that
exists in this universe. *she grins, licking at the tattoos on his neck as her
hand begins to grasp his manhood, rubbing in a upward fashion at a fairly
regular pace*

*Maul tilts his horned head back and moans, the reports of this one called
Siduri being quite correct in her willingness to serve the Sith to her full
capacity. His manhood throbs, it becoming longer and harder underneath her
hand, as it is clear that he is enjoying this, especially after the lightside
girl Patricia had left him hanging.* I felt it within the darkness, just a
moment ago, when you took that Jedi's life. You are strong, and you honor our
ancestors well, but here is not the place for us to wage our war, my Warrior.
There are too many Jedi sympathizers present tonight who would rather that the
blood be not on their hands. But you like the taste of blood, don't you? *he
grins back at her, his own hands reaching for and roughly gripping the nipple
rings protruding through the thin covering of Siduri's dress*

*The combination of his incredibly sexy voice, the pain from her piercings
being tugged upon, and his manhood growing steadily all fill Siduri's body
with unmistakeable pleasure. Her thoughts wander, wondering what his milk
tastes like and if she shall be able to drink it before the authorities
administering such a party oust her from it for her killing of the Jedi
inside.* I prefer milk to blood... *she grins, tightening her grasp on his
manhood* but one serves as a substitute when I cannot get the other.

*Maul laughs deeply, a fondness for bloodthirstyness and overactive sex drive
forming, though he removes his hand from her breasts and takes her own from
his now, enormous member* We must test this hypothesis when there are no Jedi
present, Warrior.

*Siduri, seeing that this is her cue to take her leave, bows her head to him*
Please, Siduri, my Lord.

*Maul mulls the name over in his mind and repeats,* Yes, Siduri. Do come see
me on Korriban at your earliest convenience.

*Siduri bows her head of flame colored tresses again* Yes, my Lord. I am
your's and the Sith's humble servant. *She then turns from him, heading back
indoors where her grin grows even wider, not at the beginning bars of the
Karaoke, but at the sight of one who made her black heart leap even further--
Ulic Qel-Droma, basking in the aura of darkness yet again*




===


Date: 7 Oct 99 11:50:16 WET DST
From: JediPatricia
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi RR: sleeping beauty


OK, in case you didn't notice I get the digest, that's why my chain of events
collided with Diebin's. Sorry, Diebin (hides under the desk, etc)

I'm going offline until Monday, so I came up with this. I guess Qui-Gon got
busy with Gabrielle after this scene ;-)

If you think it's too mushy, have in mind I saw TPM for the secont time
yesterday.

Behave yourselves and keep the boys happy while I'm gone!

-----

Qui-Gon led me through the crowd, a firm grip on my shoulder, more to keep me
from falling than to keep me from running. In my present state, I wouldn't do
much running and he knew it. Everything was beginning to blur, and I vaguely
remember the Sith had taken over the Karaoke machine and Freedon Nadd was
singing "Sympathy for the Devil" so out of tune Mick Jagger would have a fit.
Some people say a good scare is guaranteed to cure hiccups. That's not true,
otherwise I would have been cured right there. I'd rather scratch my nails on
a chalkboard than ever listen to Nadd singing.

Somewhere along the way Nadd was chased off the Karaoke and a familiar tune
filled the air. "Thursday's Child", I recognized; Ziggy must be in control
again. I started humming / singing the music, one of my latest favorites ( I
wonder if it catches too...) leaning against Qui-Gon even more. Suddenly I
tripped on my heel and would have been sprawled on the floor if he wasn't
holding me. Apparently this was my night of being held as a damsel in
distress... Trying to regain balance, I wrapped both arms around his neck just
as Bowie or whoever was singing got to the verses, "Nothing prepared me for
your smile / lifting the darkness of my soul". I looked into his eyes and felt
tears forming in my own.

Saying nothing, Qui-Gon brushed my face with his fingertips and half led me,
half dragged me to the stairs, where he picked me up and carried me upstairs
like a baby. I remember spotting Maul with some girl I didn't recognize and
sticking my tongue at him. /Glorified kickboxer/, I thought with a mental grin
to Vader.

Next I was being deposited on a bed, Qui-Gon sitting next to me and reaching
to undo the clasps of my shoes. He regarded one suspiciously after removing
it, wondering, "I'll never understand how women can withstand such torture
instruments."

"Looks good." Hiccup. "Actually..." Hiccup. "...they're my mother's..."

He smiled, removing the other shoe. "Really? Little girl's playing with her
mother's things?"

Hiccup. "You certainly make me..." Hiccup. "...feel like one..." I said,
feeling more than a little ashamed.

Qui-Gon leaned over and pressed a kiss to my forehead. Then he placed his
hands on my temples and I felt a strange warmth. My senses no longer blurred,
I felt like I had been transported from a cotton-padded dimension to one with
sharp cutting edges. My head hurt and my mouth was dry.

"What did you do to me?" I wailed, turning in bed to hide my face from the
blinding light.

"I just cleared the alcohol from your body. Unfortunately I cannot remove the
hangover effects also." Qui-Gon reached out to the nightstand and the lights
dimmed.

"Should have left me as I was..." The hiccups were gone. At least now I didn't
sound like a ninny. The ability to think straight was returning to me... sort
of. I eyed Qui-Gon suspiciously. "Say, couldn't you have done this
downstairs?"

"Of course. But then I would have no reason to bring you upstairs." Qui-Gon
declared matter-of-factly. He smiled gently at me, and I hid my face under a
pillow as realization dawned.

"What did he tell you?" I demanded masochistically.

"That's not important..."

"What did he tell you?!"

Qui-Gon sighed. "Well, he mentioned something about having you up against a
wall..."

I interrupted him, not wanting to hear the rest. "I don't care what perverse
activities that Sithspawn described in lewd graphic detail, it was just a
kiss!!! You do believe me, don't you?!" I pleaded.

"You *just* kissed a Sith," he repeated after me, wrapping his arms around me
when he saw I was about to burst out crying. "Of course I believe you,
darling. I know your *tastes*. Besides, you're broadcasting louder than
Galactic News." He paused, turning my head to meet his eyes. "But you really
should think of what you've just done. It was very dangerous to tease Maul
like this. Now, I know you weren't quite yourself..."

"He was asking for it," I blurted out before really starting to cry.

Qui-Gon chuckled. "Patricia, you silly girl, it's just a movie! I'm right here
beside you, am I not?"

"You're not quite *beside* me..." I grinned, since he was now half-laying on
top of me. Qui-Gon cupped my chin in his hand and kissed me. I returned it
slowly, headache still throbbing, but nearly forgotten. He made me sit up and
removed my dress deftly, then hanged it neatly on a nearby chair.

I wrapped my arms around his neck lazily to nip at my favorite spot, just
where his beard ended, as he lifted me again and pulled the bedcovers back
with the Force. Then Qui-Gon placed me on the bed again, leaned over me... and
pulled the bedcovers over me, tucking them over my chin.

He smiled at my surprised features, then kissed my cheek and said, "You need
to rest, little one."

"No I don't, I feel better, really." Well, my head was killing me and my heels
eventually would, but that was no reason to miss the party of the decade!

He sighed as if I were a difficult child and said firmly, "You *will* sleep
now." Fortunately, I grabbed his wrist before he had the chance to do *the
thing*.

"If you think you're going to *mind-whammy* me, you're gravely mistaken. I
know how that works," I protested.

Qui-Gon released his wrist with little effort and smiled again, "Of course I
would never try it with you, little one." He leaned over me and kissed me
again, slowly, knowingly, cupping my face in his big hands and lifting his
mouth to whisper close to my cheek, "But you're so tired you could really use
a few hours' sleep." And then he waved his hand in front of my eyes.

I remember a moment of indignation before the exhaustion and Gods know what
else took over me. I murmured "I could really... use a few hours'..." and fell
dead asleep.


===


Date: Thu, 07 Oct 1999 20:36:09 -0500
From:
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] R-a-J RR: the fun continues

All right- my dress was soaking in club soda to get that
nasty stain out. And I changed into what I suspected into
was an old set of Obi's clothes- a loose tunic and pants.

Opening the door- I could hear someone yelling out "NO MORE
KAROKE!!" Well then, this was a night to remember. Looking
down at my clothes, which were about a couple of sizes too
big for me, I realized that I can't go downstairs like this.

"What's wrong with that?" someone said behind me.

I turned around and it was him. I pointed my finger at him
and asked, "Obi-Wan?"

"Yes, of course- you were expecting someone else?"

"After what has happened so far, I don't really know what to
expect."

"Master Qui-Gon had instructed me to look after you, and I
intend to do just that. I sense that after what happened,
you don't really want to go back downstairs." he continued.

"I'm not exactly dressed for a party..."my voice trailed
off.

"How about the grand tour? he said as he offered his arm.

I linked mine with his. "You bet."

***

Granted this was my very first time- I didn't expect it to
be easy. Luckily he was so experienced, other wise I am sure
that I would be so sore (or definitely hurt) from this
experience. My heart racing, I brushed back my hair from my
face away from my eyes so I could get a better look at him.

He was coming at me from behind. I spun around, facing him.
He thrusted again and yet again- much harder this time,
nearly knocking me off my feet. "You're pretty good for a
novice." he said, his breath haggard.

"Thank you." I gasped. "I think it's time for a drink."

"Exactly."

I switched off my practice lightsaber, Obi-Wan followed
suit. "Here take this-" he said as he offered a bottle of
water.

Sitting down, I stretched my legs out in front of me. I took
a big sig of water. I love how water tastes so clear and
cool after a hard workout. "I am sure that being a Jedi
gives you a bit of an advantage at this...."

He chuckled. "Not as much as you think- oh, you mean the
lightsaber practice."

I laughed, nearly spitting out my water from my mouth.

"Here, stand up- let's try something different. Let me show
you some forms."

I took his outstretched hand and stood in front of him.
Slyly grinning, he took the bottle from me and turned me
around. "Now, hold your lightsaber like this- put your feet
like this."


I complied- his hands guiding my hips. HIs chest brushed
close against my back. I felt my cheeks turn red- probably
as red as my hair. I could hear him chuckling near my ear,
his breath on my neck. "Now, Lora, there's one thing you've
got to learn is not to be afraid of it."

"No, I like it. It's good."My breath caught as he kissed my
neck and his tongue started to trace a delicate path up to
my ear. "It's good..."

"You like it now, but you'll learn to love it later."

Lora Jurisa

tbc--

thanks to Robbie Robertson for those last couple lines
(ahhh- one my fave songs--)


===


From: "Crysta Novelli"
Date: Fri, 08 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] RaJ: RR Crysta and Luke

I almost ran to the balcony. I needed fresh air, and fast! The karaoke,
crazy Jedi and Sith, and the alcohol was too much for me to handle.
Reaching the entrance to the balcony I paused, not knowing what I was going
to find out there. I slowed, and entered calmly, like I was _somewhat_ in
control of my senses. The girl I had seen leave with Luke was now walking
towards me. I nodded at her in polite recognition, and she just threw me a
smug glance and continued inside.

The fresh air did wonders for me, but I could still feel the effects of the
alcohol coursing through my veins. Damn the Sithspawn that spiked my punch.
If I ever got my hands on him, Gods help him! Luke was approaching from
the far end of the balcony. I smiled at him, and he returned the gesture,
almost sheepishly, I thought. He came up to me and reached out to me. At
that point my legs decided they'd had enough of supporting me and gave way.
I toppled forward, and Luke caught me gently.

Straightening me out, he inqured, "Are you all right? You look a little..."

"Drunk," I finished for him. "Someone spiked my drink."

"Father," he told me, frowning. "Ziggy had a word with him about that
earlier."

"That's what I figured," I spat out angrily, and turned and headed back
inside to beat some Sith brains out. I successfully made it one step away
from Luke before my legs gave out again and I once more fell forward.

"Whoa, you're not going to beat anyone like _that_!" he exclaimed as he
caught me. "Come over here," he said gently, pulling me towards him.
Taking my face in in hands and tilting it downward, he placed his lips
against my forehead. Suddenly, my mind was clear and I had one heck of a
headache.

"Oww," I moaned, leaning my head against his chest. "What did you do to
me?"

"I just removed the alcohol from your system. How many drinks did you have,
anyway?"

"Just one," I explained sheepishly.

"That's a pretty weak tolerance," he said, smiling at me. "You don't drink
much, do you?" I shook my head. I didn't like the stuff, and though I was
tall, I was slim, so the alcohol affected me more for lack of body weight.

"Come here," he said, turning me around and resting my arms on the edge of
the balcony. I complied, and he placed his hands on my bare shoulders. He
began gently kneading them, and I let my head fall forward. His hands were
so soft, and strong. I sighed, breathing deeply, taken up in the soft
sensuality of his hands on my bare shoulders and the silence of the night
air around us. Wait a minte. Silence? What happened to the karaoke? Luke
must have noticed it to, because he leaned forward with his mouth to my ear
and whispered, "I think Ziggy's taken care of the karaoke for the evening."
The was a hint of amusement in his voice, and I wondered just _how_ she'd
taken care of it.

Just then I felt Luke's warm breath on my neck, followed by his lips.
"Mmm," I purred. My headache was forgotten. I tilted my head to the side
to grant him better access, and he drew lines on my skin with his tongue.
His hands never stopped their soft caresses, though they now roamed the
length of my arms as well as my shoulders. I turned in his arms, catching
his face in my hands and pulling his lips to mine. The kiss was slow and
sweet; nothing like the kisses from earlier. His tongue explored my lips,
and I willingly parted them to give him access. He proceeded to explore
every inch of my mouth, stealing my air and eventually sucking my tongue
back into his mouth. His hands roamed over my breasts and I moaned into his
mouth. I couldn't breath, but I didn't care. Finally he seemed to remember
that I was human and needed air to live, because he broke the kiss and
pulled back slightly, just far enough to look into my eyes. His were the
most beautiful eyes I'd ever been stared at with, or had ever stared back
into. They were deep, filled with emotion and want. I'd never had a man
stare at me like that before, and it filled me with an emotion I couldn't
quite identify. My heart was racing and my core was burning. He pulled
back, and spoke, his voice laced with lust. "Come with me," he whispered
breathily, taking my hand and leading me from the balcony.

*tbc*

---------------------


===


From: "Selah Specht"
Date: Thu, 07 Oct 1999 21:15:02 CDT
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] RaJ RR

I know, I know, this is probably just stupid, but I NEED to vent...the dean
kept me FOUR HOURS at rehearsal and I have THREE LINES in the scene we were
rehearsing...AUGHAUGHAUGHAUGH!!!!
I need SOMETHING about now!

***************

I glanced up from the pages where Raskolnikov was just knifing his victim
as mechanical sounds reached my ears. Being in the theatre and acquainted
with various systems, I knew that sound anywhere: it was the sound of
electronic sound equipment being struggled to be repaired. My eyes narrowed
in fury as I regarded the small band that was trying to save the karaoke
machine. Slamming down the book, I stalked to the corner of the room.

"Get away from the machine before I kill you all..." Okay, not nice, but
I had not had a good evening!

"But we need music!!" Windu persisted and I growled deep in my throat.

"What do you think there's a band for?" I shot back, nodding to where
Max Rebo and his gang had regained consciousness and were setting up once
more, well, all except Sy Snootles. The poor singer was still out cold.

"You can't have instrumentals at this kind of a party!" Gallia persisted
and I rolled my eyes. "We need music!"

"Karaoke IS NOT MUSIC!! I'LL SHOW you what music is!!!" I hissed,
advancing to the band area and grabbing a mike. We had actually discussed a
few possibilities earlier, but I wasn't going to follow through with them
unless the need was desperate. And now was definitely a desperate time!! I
wanted a short but fast and furious number, and I knew the one that was just
perfect. Nodding to the band, I let myself slide into character as the
familiar chords began to play.

My best friend Kas used to remark that when Bowie left the Ziggy
character behind, I found it, brushed it off, and took it as my own years
later...Well, I might not be the same as the character, far from it, but I
do do one hell of a Ziggy Stardust impression. And there's the fact that my
vocal range goes from a high C to a low D - I can sing soprano to baritone.

I ignored the stunned looks from the partiers; it was time for me to have
some fun for once, and this time a REAL band was gonna play! Grinning, I
yanked the mike from the stand and paced the area, changing the lyrics just
barely so that the council members didn't totally flip out.

"You're a tongue-twisting storm, You'll come to the show tonight
praying to the light machine....You want my honey not our money your a funky
thigh collector layin on electric dreams...Well come on, come on, you've
really got a good thing going well come on, come on, if you think we're
gonna make it, you better hang on to yourself...

At the instrumental break I grinned even more and glanced to where a
Yuzzum was strumming a guitar...should I? Should I really? Oh, what the
hell! Before anyone could react I grabbed his scrawny legs, slid between,
and did the replication of the electric bj that Bowie became famous for in
the seventies...miming chewing on the guitar strings with glee.

With lightning fast speed I was on my feet again and grabbing the mike
stand, setting the mike into place, I leered at the crowd.

"We can't dance, we don't talk much, we just ball and play, but we move
like tigers on vasiline...well the bitter comes out better on a stolen
guitar you're the blessed and we're the spiders from mars..." I continued
the chorus and did all the ad-libbing and orgasmic breathing which makes the
song a classic. By the end, I was sweating and the room was filled with at
least some applause. Bowing, I went back to my duty, realizing that there
was a very peeved Jedi Master behind me. I turned and stared at Mundi. Yoda
was behind him, but he looked more amused than anything else.

"Madam...you should not be performing...that...content here!!"

"They wanted music...I just gave em what they wanted.." I shot back and
he frowned even more.

"No more disobedience! If you want us to continue to fund this place, you
must show behavior that is expected of the Jedi and all they are associated
with!!!" I sighed, making a check list. So far the Jedi had gotten roaring
drunk, started to lay everything in sight, and nearly torn up my Hours CD.
Yeah, that was nice.

"Fine! I'll be good..."

"See that you do." he called after me and I frowned, then stalked into
the kitchen.

"Yes Master Mundi, I sure will Master Mundi...KISS MY ASS MASTER
MUNDI!!!" I said to myself, before heading straight to the now-empty
freezer. I'd stay there till I rot and then refroze, for all I cared.


===


From: Aya
Date: Fri, 8 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] RaJRR: Zigs in the freezer

Dieben came storming out of the kitchen and began scanning the crowd. At the
time I was talking to Adi and Depa, telling them a few of the chocolate
retaliation stories. Dieben came over, smiled, and said, "Would you excuse
us for a few?" She then grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the kitchen.

"Aya, we can't get Ziggy out of the freezer." She had a smile pastered to
her face so as not to stand out. It never works.

"Why not, is she stuck?" I asked, feeling a severe headache coming on.

"No, after the whole Jedi/Sith Ice sculpture whammy, karaoke, Max Rebo
barfing up a lung mess, she's pouting in the freezer."

I sighed and started towards the weapons closet. "Gimme thirty seconds."

"Where are you going?"

"The right tools for the right job."
** ** **
Ziggy sat in the freezer her arm looped around one of the racks, shaking her
head at Afton. "Nope I'm not coming out." It was at times like these I was
very glad this was a 2 door walk-in freezer.

snap/hiss whoom whoom

Ziggy turned as I brandished the blue lightsaber from the weapons closet.
"Hi Aya. I'm not coming out."

I stepped closer, waving the thing for good effect. "Ziggy, you are going to
put down the ice cream, brush yourself off and go out and mingle like a good
little boss."

"Why should I?" she whined. "It's bad enough I can't control the guys for
one party. The council must be getting ready to boot me out on my ear."

I came closer, waving the saber. She let go of the rack and began to back
away, out of the freezer. "On the contrary, they are actually impressed
there has only been one death associated with the company."

"Not true, the cat asked for it!"

She was almost clear of the door. "With all due respect, If you don't get
out there, smile and make nice with all our clients, they'll shut us down so
fast it will make your head spin. Its not just you Ziggy, its all of us and
damnit I don't want to go back to selling polyester/rayon shorts and telling
fat women they look wonderful in fuschia bikinis." I slammed the door and
locked the freezer, cutting off one hiding place. Powering the saber down I
stuck it in my belt at the small of my back. Then taking the ice cream away,
I brushed the frost off her dress. "Now go out there, smile and act like
you're enjoying yourself!" With that I gave her a push and followed her out
into the ballroom. We plastered smiles to our faces and she gave me one last
look.

"I hate you."

I nodded, smiling back. "I know."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


===


From: "Selah Specht"
Date: Fri, 08 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] RaJ RR - jailbreak?

********************************

I resisted the intense temptation to fling myself against a wall so
I'd HAVE to leave and settled for looking like I was having fun being a
chaperon instead. I chatted for a bit with various guests, tried to be
charming, and slowly made my way to the door of the room. I stopped backing
up as a rather hard something was jabbed into my back and I turned to find
Aya with the hilt of the lightsaber at the ready, eyebrow raised in a silent
challenge. Muttering something about mutiny under my breath, I glanced to
the kitchen, but Diebin had that covered. Sighing in resignation, I went
back to mingling, determined to find a way out of this, even if I had to
repel out a window...

Unfortunately, my interns had that covered, too, and had managed to get
various members of the council talking to people by each and every escape
route in the room. Stifling a scream, I decided I might as well play along,
because I sure wasn't going to get away very easily. So I took a position
against the wall and kept a hawk's eye on the guests and employees. When
Obi-One first entered the room my gaze was drawn to him, mainly because of
the obvious, but after a few moments I began to realize that there was
something else...

My eyes widened in horror as I realized he was trying to smuggle
something in under his tunic...

SCHWOOM!! I sauntered over there so fast it wasn't funny!

"What in the world are you doing?" I asked under my breath, nodding to
his obvious attempt to cover whatever was under his tunics.

"Nothing," he answered lamely, almost as if he was trying to bait me...

"Kitchen," I ordered, then grabbed him by the arm and dragged him over to
Diebin.

"He's hiding something...frisk him," I said, maybe a little cruelly and
she paled.

"NO WAY!!" she managed before running to the other side of the room at
his hundred watt grin. I chuckled and shook my head as I shoved him inside
the kitchen.

"Okay, up against the wall," I sighed, used to the routine already.

"If you insist..." he purred and it took me a moment before I realized
that I was pinned to the wall, his mouth extremely close to my throat.

"NOT ME IDIOT!!" I bellowed and the clone pouted momentarily before
sighing and releasing me to take the position along the wall.

"More fun my way..." he insisted and I rolled my eyes, not sure how to
exactly go about this. Vader was one thing, but now I was expected to frisk
Obi's clone? Without totally going out of my mind? I frowned as he picked up
the thought and chuckled. "Maybe it will be fun this way, too..." I glared
at his back before purposefully patting him down, removing a full can of
whipped cream and some glitter.

"And what exactly is this for?" I asked, eyebrows raised.

"You run this business and you're asking me what it's for?" he countered,
entirely amused with my reaction.

"WHY YOU-" I frowned at the hand that covered my mouth. My eyes widened
momentarily in anger but that was cut short as he gave me a serious look.

"Now listen..." he whispered, glancing towards the kitchen door, his eyes
glittering. "You want out of this party?" I nodded silently and his grin
returned and got wider. "Then why do you think I let you catch me?" My eyes
widened with realization and he dropped his hand.

"So what have you got in mind?" I asked quietly, looking over at the door
to make sure no one was listening in.

"Well...." he replied, briefly running his tongue against my ear lobe.
"You make some excuse that you have to deal with me for the moment and we
make a run for it...everyone else will be too busy or having too much fun to
notice and in the meantime we hit the best clubs on Coruscant..." he said,
looking quite pleased with himself.

"But the council-"

"Is too busy talking business...when they get going they don't notice
anything," he told me firmly, then raised an eyebrow. "So how bout it?" A
slow grin crossed my face.

"It's an evil, evil plan and so wrong...but I love it!!" I laughed and he
joined in.

"Ziggy, are you all right in there?" Aya called and I winced.

"Um, yeah...listen Obi-One here was trying to smuggle in some stuff from
the supply room..." I paused at her brief curse before she went to check the
closet. The clone and I grinned wickedly at each other and hurried out the
other door to the kitchen. Slowly, quietly, we made our way down the halls
and towards the back door. We had just reached it and Obi's hand was just on
the keypad...this was it!!

"And where are you two going?" a familiar voice asked and we both jumped.
Turning around, I groaned upon seeing the real Obi-Wan, and a girl in one of
his uniforms, both hurridly dressed and looking at us with raised eyebrows.

"Um..we were just...there was a late night delivery and I needed Obi-One
here to help me carry it in!!" I proclaimed, glancing at the clone.

"Definintely!!" he replied, then glanced sideways at me. "Wouldn't want
her to hurt her back..." *At least not that way...* I stifled a laugh and
Obi-Wan grimaced.

"Really...somehow I doubt that's what you two had in mind...We're going
to talk about this later..." he said to me and I sighed at his tone and knew
that Qui was rubbing off on him too much.

"Come on! We're just going off to some clubs, no one will miss us!!" I
persisted and Obi-One nodded.

"Oh, no? We'll see about that..." I yelped as I found my arms pinned
behind me and found that I was being walked in the direction of the kitchen,
the girl right beside Obi-Wan, fighting a laugh, and Obi-One looking quite
dejected as he walked behind us.

As soon as we entered the kitchen I managed a sheepish grin at Aya and
Diebin.

"Um...hi?" I tried and they rolled their eyes. "It was his idea!!" I
tried, pointing to Obi-One but it didn't seem to work.

"I found them at the back door..." Obi-Wan explained and Diebin quickly
exited the room before she could pass out again. "Trying to sneak off to go
clubbing..." Aya's look darkened even more and I sighed.

"All right all right, I'm sorry!! I'll stay in the room and I'll be
good!!"

"You are going to mingle and you are going to like it!!" she hollared
after me as I entered the room.

"I'm mingling, I'm mingling...." I sighed....


===


From: "Celeste L'Pauvre"
Date: Sat, 09 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] RAJ RR: Having Bought The Stairway

Hi, gang, despite missing some parts here and there, I'm forging onwards!
Hope this doesn't wreck anyone else's plans....

THis is not yet NC-17, but it will be and there's some S&M, yousa been
warned.

~~~~~~~~continues where Swing Out Sithter left off~~~~~~~

When the heel of my shoe hit the bottom step, Kun's strong hands, one at the
small of my back and one cupping my left buttock, kept my pelvis connected
to his when my balance slipped. "So, eager?" He backed me up the stairs,
swaying to some internal music of his own. I learned quickly to NOT try and
pay attention to what my feet were doing. I didn't want to break an ankle
but each time my eyes strayed from his, my thoughts wandered from how my
body pressed against his, he'd pinch that part of my tender flesh he was
playing with.
Even as I desired the next one, I couldn't help dreading the number of marks
this man was going to leave on my easily bruised self.

All and yet none too quickly, we reached the top of the stairs. He removed
his hands from under my dress and pushed me to arms length, his hands taking
the long trip from my shoulderblades to tightly grasp my wrists. His
prolonged cobra stare began to frighten me. What was he thinking? What game
was this turning into? The longer he stared, the tighter his grip became,
the greater my dilemna of flight or fight threatened to unhinge me. "There's
always the third option," he murmured, "Isn't that what you want, Celeste?"

I tried to swallow, mouth as dry as another opening was wet. I was certain I
could hear my bones scraping together, my shaking hands growing numb in his
hold. Sweet pain when he squeezed, I couldn't believe the shudder of
pleasure that sang along my every nerve. "Oh, yes," I whimpered, wondering
what other exquisite things he would do to keep me on that fine edge of
pleasurable pain. *What studied torments, tyrant, hast for me?* I thought,
an unexpectedly appropriate Shakespearean quote.

Exar jerked me to him, twisting my hands behind my back and using the odd
leverage to force my lower body to arch into his, exposing my neck and
causing my breasts to jut skyward. "Plenty, my poor fool," he chuckled
against my throat. He bit lightly the white skin over my jugular, "Plenty."

We resumed our procession along the hallway towards his room, his strides
long and sure, mine as best as my awkward position allowed. He Forced the
door open and, as soon as it had closed, locked it behind us. He raised my
arms above my head, pinning me against the doorjamb.

~~~~~~~~~tbc~~~~~~~~~~


PS: "What studied torments,...." from The Winter's Tale, Paulina
and, as from King Lear, in Shakespeare's time, "fool" also meant young girl.
Just a little FYI.



===


From: "Crysta Novelli"
Date: Fri, 08 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] RaJ RR: Crysta and Luke, part 2

Okay, I did it. Here is your NC-17, and my very first attempt at writing
smut. I'm willing to take this even further, but this was already going on
2 pages, so I paused for a bit. I hope you like it! Feedback is greatly
appreciated.

-Crysta

-----------------------------------------------------


I hesitated as he tried to lead me from the balcony. "Luke," I said softly,
and he turned around to look at me. I shook my head and said, "I'm not sure
I want to do this."

He came back to me and wrapped his left arm around my waist. He used his
right hand to tilt my face upwards, looking directly into my eyes. I
avoided them, for fear of being overwhelmed by passion and doing something I
might regret later. I'd never gone all the way with a man before, but then
I'd never been faced with a man quite like Luke Skywalker before, either.
"We don't have to," he whispered to me, reading my thoughts like they were
an open book. "I would like nothing more than to take you upstairs and
ravish you thoroughly, but I would never do anything unless you wanted me
to. You know that, don't you?" I looked up then, and directly into those
eyes, seeing within them the Jedi I'd come to love. There was so much more
in those eyes than lust. I saw compassion, integrity, wisdom, passion, and
intense fire. Fire which was heated enough to melt me within his arms. He
brought his face to mine and kissed me, reassuring me, and my decision was
made. I wanted this. More than I'd ever wanted anything in my entire life.

"You're sure?" he asked softly, when our lips parted.

I smiled back at him, nodded, and took his hand. Together we walked back
inside. In the time we'd been out on the balcony, we'd been completely
oblivious to the happenings inside the complex. Nothing could have prepared
either one of us for the sight we saw upon re-entering the ballroom, though.
Ziggy, microphone in hand, was doing an absolutely incredible impression
of Ziggy Stardust, and from the looks of the council members' faces, they
weren't the least bit impressed. Well, Qui-Gon seemed to be enjoying the
show, but the others sure weren't very happy. After recovering from the
initial shock, Luke began weaving us through the crowd toward the far
stairs.

"Little does our hostess know it, but she's given us the perfect chance to
escape unnoticed," he murmured, leading us around the corner to the foot of
the stairs. He paused suddenly, and stepped back into the shadows, pulling
me with him. Just then Obi-Wan and a girl appeared. She was dressed in one
of Obi-Wan's tunics, and I recognized her as the one he'd spilt blue
margarita on. They passed by us without noticing, and Luke led me out of
the shadows and up the stairs.

"Obi-Wan may have stopped us," he explained. "He's becoming more and more
like Master Qui-Gon every day." I could hear the slight amusement in his
voice.

We reached his room and he palmed it open. It was clean, and the bed was
huge. He closed and locked the door, and once again he wrapped me in his
embrace, staring deep into my eyes. "You're sure you want to do this?" he
asked once more. Everything in his eyes told me he hoped I wouldn't change
my mind, but that if I did, he would let me go. I responded by wrapping my
arms around his neck and pressing my lips to his. That appeared to be all
the reassurance he needed, because the next thing I knew I was being lifted
off my feet and carried to the bed. Laying me on my back, he straddled me,
ravishing my mouth hungrily. His hardness pressed into my thigh while his
hands massaged my breasts. "You're wearing far to much cloth," he managed,
stopping his ministrations on my mouth and neck long enough to reach down
and slide the blue satin of my dress up. I lifted myself off the bed so
that he could slide it past my hips, and with much less effort than it
required me to get it on earlier this evening, he pulled it off over my head
and threw it over a nearby chair. That obstacle out of the way, his lips
found my hardened nipple and locked onto it like a radar finds a target. I
moaned and arched up into his mouth, feeling pleasure I'd never before
experienced. My hands somehow found a way to his jacket, tearing it off and
flinging it away. His shirt was close behind as he switched his attentions
to my other breast. He came up to kiss me again, one hand on the breast
he'd just abandoned, the other snaking down between my legs to feel my
wetness. He made short work of removing the only bit of clothing I'd worn
under the dress, and I gasped as he slipped first one, then two fingers
inside of me. I was tight, but it felt incredible. He began slowly moving
them back and forth, mimicking what was to come, and I found myself
responding to his rhythm, matching it, moaning into his mouth as the waves
of pleasure he was creating so deep inside of me cascaded to the surface. I
cried his name as I came, the emotions pouring from my center in an ecstasy
I'd never known before. As the waves of pleasure subsided, I opened my eyes
to see him staring straight into mine, waiting for me to recover before
taking me to the next level. I smiled up at him. "That was absolutely
incredible," I breathed. He returned the smile, kissing me gently and
caressing my face. "You haven't seen anything yet, Crysta," he replied
huskily, capturing my lips with his.

tbc


===


From: "Darth Diebin"
Date: Sat, 09 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] RaJ RR: Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi . . . .

For you, Ziggs.
~~~~~~
In a few days, I'm sure Ziggy will thank us for this. When the Council is
congratulating her on her success and the business is soaring, she'll be
glad we made her stay and play perfect host.

Not to mention keeping her from bar hopping with that totally un-Jedi like
Obi-Clone. Well, maybe not /thanking/ us precisely--from the look in his
eyes she probably would have had a great time--but she'll realize tomorrow
what we did for her.

"How's she doing?" Aya asks me, sidling over to where I'm busy guarding the
windows from Ziggy's jailbreaking attempts.

"Okay as far as I can tell," I respond, looking at where Obi-Wan and Ziggy
are standing in the middle of the room.

"You need to do something for her," Aya says, giving me a look that means
I'm not going to like what she's asking.

"What?" I demand suspiciously. "Why are you looking at me?"

"Well--Afton and I talked about it--and we thought maybe you should try to
distract Obi-One. Y'know, naughty Jedi clone. Keep him away from Ziggy."

I stare at her as if she's gone mad. Hell, she /has/ gone mad. Asking /me/
of all people to distract an incarnation of the man who makes me forget to
breath?

"You do it," I snap back. "You're better at that whole seduction thing than
I am. I get within five feet of him and can't even think."

"That's why you've got to do it," Aya responds. "Obi-One finds your
discomfort rather amusing--you're the only one who has a chance of keeping
him distracted for very long."

"And why is that?" My voice is only marginally warmer than the freezer.

"Because you run from him. You're probably the only girl in this room who
would. Naughty Obi can't pass up the ultimate challenge. When he catches
you, he'll probably take his time." Her grin says louder than words that
having Obi, even an Obi Clone, take his time on me is something I shouldn't
be willing to pass up.

But I am. I may love Obi-Wan Kenobi with all of my misguided little heart,
but that love doesn't extend to his clone. The lust does, maybe . . . but
not the love.

"I run because I'm /AFRAID/ of him!" I snarl. "I don't want him to catch
me!"

"Then you'd better run fast," Aya says, grinning. "He's coming."

I look where she's pointing to see Obi-One stalking across the room towards
me, eyes blazing and mouth crooked into a grin.

"What did you say to him?" I ask nervously, beginning to back up. The look
in his eyes is rather startling--and fair bidding to make me melt into the
floor.

"I told him that the reason you're avoiding him is because you don't think

he can live up to the real thing," Aya says smugly. "He's going to try'n
prove you wrong."

"I haven't had the real thing," I say faintly, but Aya doesn't respond.

Aya disappears into the crowd even as Obi-One sweeps my arm up in one hand,
not pausing as he detours and heads towards the kitchen, pulling me behind
him.

"Let go of my arm," I say rather faintly, taking a moment to congratulate
myself on having formed a complete, coherent sentence.

"Okay," Obi-One agrees, dropping my arm. Before I have a chance to move his
arms are around me, tossing me over his shoulder. He kicks the kitchen door
open and strides through, slamming it shut.

"Put me down!" Aya said run. She could have given me a head start, damn her!

"I don't think so," Obi-One growls, heading through the kitchen towards the
back stairs. "I believe you issued me a challenge. I intend to meet it."

I'm past the point of coherent thought by now, so all I manage is a whimper
as Obi-One starts climbing towards my room.

Obi-Wan had better come and save me from his other self--and from myself. If
there's ever been a damsel in distress, I'm one right now--and in so much
distress I can barely even think. As Obi-One breaks into my room, I can't
stop the thought: ::Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi . . .::
~~~~~~~~


===


From: "Crysta Novelli"
Date: Sat, 09 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] RaJ RR: Luke and Crysta part 3

Our "climatic" scene. This one is most definately NC-17. Again,
feedback is greatly appreciated, since this is my first time writing
anything of this caliber.

-Crysta

-----------------------------------------------------


My breathing still hadn't returned to normal, and it appeared that Luke
wasn't going to let it, either. He began at my mouth, but soon began
kissing his way down the length of my body, his hands trailing along behind,
leaving little ringlets of fire burning on my skin. He stealthily crept
nearer to my nether region, which was by now burning with anticipation. He
parted my legs to gain better access and began twirling tiny circles on my
inner thighs with his tongue, driving me mad.

"Luke," I moaned impatiently, not knowing what exactly I wanted, but knowing
if he kept this up I was going to go insane. Luckily he read my thoughts,
and I gasped as his warm mouth found my center. He began to slowly run his
tongue over my opening, before suddenly plunging it in and ravishing me as
he had done to my mouth earlier. My moans grew steadily louder as he pushed
me towards the brink, and suddenly he was gone. My eyes snapped open at the
sudden loss of contact, and I saw him deftly removing his slacks. I reached
to help him, desperate to feel his body against mine. His slacks hit the
floor, boxers right behind them, and I stared, drinking in his beautiful
body, from his eyes that said so much, to his broad shoulders, muscular
chest, narrow waist, prominent erection – _very_ prominent. My Gods, where
was that supposed to fit? He followed my train of thought, grinning
broadly, as he resumed his position over me, once again capturing my mouth
with his. I could taste myself on his lips, and his penis rubbed against my
thigh. He reached down and stroked me, then centered himself at my opening,
placing only his head in. I spread my legs wide and moaned into his mouth,
but he didn't break the kiss. I knew he was being gentle for my sake, but
he was quickly losing his control. Slowly, he eased into my tight cavity,
causing me to arch up, wanting more of him in me. By now I was beyond all
coherent thought, and all that existed was my desire for him. His
gentleness was more agonizing than the pain could ever be, and I wrapped my
legs around him, forcing his firm length into my depths. I gasped as the
pain enveloped me, and Luke cried out my name. We began that age old
rhythm, and before I knew it, the pleasure had gone above and beyond where
the pain had ever been. Nothing existed outside of us, for either of us,
and I felt waves of emotion cascade over and around us. He reached down and
flicked my clit, sending me over the edge. I cried out as I came, my
response triggering his own release. The passion and pleasure which we
shared was better than I had ever imagined possible, and when we both
returned to reality he collapsed to my chest, breathing heavily. I reached
up to caress his cheek, and he turned his head, meeting my gaze. Words
were not necessary because his eyes told me everything, yet I still spoke.
"Thank you," I whispered, and kissed him gently. "No, Crysta," he returned,
wrapping his arm around my waist. "Thank _you_."


===


From: spacefan
Date: Sun, 10 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks]R-A-J Part one

Your world slowly comes into focus. You find yourself laying on soft fabric. You turn your head drowsily in an attempt to check out your environment. The first thing you realize is that your on a sleep couch. A particular large one and the room is dimly lit. There were no furnishings except the imprints of where pictures use to be on the wall. It was as if someone had moved out and no one cleaned the walls in their wake.

        You sit up feeling the gathering of fabric from the dress your still wearing.
//The Gala// you say to yourself. //But how? Where?//
        Suddenly the memories come flooding back to you. You were with Mace and then you went to the main hall where you encountered the man who put you in this state Qui-Gon.
//Where in the sith is he?// You scowl

"I'm here." He answers off to your side.
You turn swiftly to see him leaning against a wall with his deep brown robe falling gracefully against his towering masculine physique. The light from Coruscant's moon shines into the room setting off the strands of silver in his lion mane.

"How long have I been out?" You ask rubbing your sore arm from where he grabbed you. Were Jedi allowed to be that rough?
"Ten minutes or so." He answers in his typically serene manner.

        You furrow your brow feeling the anger rise within you.
"Man what the hell is your defect?!" You demand rising out of the bed. How dare he put you under! How dare he do that to you!!

"We needed to talk." He replied simply. "Alone."

        You stand up and straighten yourself up. "I know how to talk alone just fine thank you. You didn't have to knock me out in the process." You sneer and stare at him.

His blue eyes stare right through you as if he were assessing the situation. You use your small Force sensitive abilities to get a clue as to what he is feeling. You shiver feeling coldness eminating from him as if he has shut himself down.
"You were with him tonight in spite of what we talked about." Qui-Gon Djinn said placing his hands together taking up the Jedi-Stance.


        "Yes." You say knowing there was no since in lying. "And you are with many on a daily basis. So what am I to do? Hunh?"

        Qui-Gon Djinn didn' t respond.
"I'll tell you what I do. I deal with it and move on." You snap and go over to a mirror and fix your hair. "We both knew coming in to this what this relationship entailed."

"Is that what your tears told you?" He asked.

        You feel your insides wither.
"You didn't think I knew." He said behind you. "I know about the times you wondered about my welfare. My safety." You could hear his robes rustling.
"I need it. It's what keeps me going."

        A knot begins to form in the back of your throat.
//Men. They suck// You swear. Suddenly you gather your courage and turn to face him.
"I got real Qui-Gon. You have tons of women falling before your feet on a daily basis. You lead this dangerous life-- because of which I hardly ever see you." You continue trying to keep your voice from quivering.

You hold back your tears. "And I pay to see you. This is sooo screwed up."

"I haven't asked for any of your bloody credits since our third time." He roared.

"We have different lives and that's why it won't work."

"Rubbish." He retorted

"Go to hell Qui."

He inhaled briefly and stood up straight, "You are mine and you are to be with no other man. Is that clear."

"Why?"

"Because I said so. That should be good enough for you."

You wondered if he was crazy? Did he know that this was 6245 of the Common Era? Women aren't treated this way anymore. How dare he try to control you! Who cares that every waking moment your day without him you wonder if he was safe. And that when you saw The Phantom Menace at the 20 Holoplex in between Royal briefings, you cried so hard that your eyes were puffy for hours.

"I didn't watch most of my world and my family be exterminated and crawl my way into a better life to come HERE AND EAT YOUR SHIT!!" The chair beside you shakes violent as your fury radiates outward.

        Inside the Main hall of the Gala, Siduri stopped and looked toward the dormitory area. The wave of emotion that screamed through her alerted her to a presence she hadn't sensed in years. She kept her expression clear as to hide her thoughts but she knew instantly, Gabrielle of the House of Tellus was about.

Qui-Gon approaches you with quiet intensity, "Little one you do not scare me."

"I'm not trying to. That's a warning."

"Or what?" Qui-Gon's six foot four stature towers over you. Just the barest hint of smile cracked his lips. "That little display? I have fought beings who would kill you just as soon as look at you. So stop this foolishness and be reasonable. I love you and you are mine. Is that clear?" He says stroking your hair.

You fold your arms, "The only thing clear is that you have lost all of your faculties."

        He leans down and kisses your forehead. "I'm quite clear on the subject and now this discussion has ended."

"Don't swear at me." He warns you his expression hardening.

Undaunted you continue. He was not going to rule your life. You are determined to close this chapter of your life. "Fuck you Qui-Gon. And if that's not enough, I'm going back home and go through with the ceremony."

        You both knew that you were speaking of choosing a Life-Mate. You suddenly realize the danger in your pop decision making. The danger lay in two areas. The first being the incredibly seductive yet murky details that surround bonding on your home planet of Praesitalyn. And the other is that the possessive Jedi before you knows all about it. You are of aristocratic lineage though not in line for succession to lead the House. (In spite of your position of Telvak III as an advisor you didn't want to be in charge of any bullshit ceremony and circumstance. ) However your culture demands that it is your duty to mate. You know and believe this but you had not found the right man to do this with. And by the very nature of your home culture and the sexual politics involved with life-bonding this made things difficult especially because it was anything but political.

"Am I a lover or a mate?" He asks pacing around you with his hands clasped behind his back. "Or is Mace your mate? I know all about how the women on your planet may take on a lover in addition to your mate if your spouse so allows it."

        Qui-Gon Djinn stops behind you. You can feel the heat of his glare. You are frozen in place. Your mind is racing.
"I also know that once you take on a life-mate you stay with them for life to sexually please them in anyway they want."

You feel your guard weakening.
"You have not answered my question." Qui-Gon whispered in her ear.

        You feel his mind probing yours. Searching for an answer that even you do not know.
"I don't know." You say quietly.

"What?" He replies softly

"I said I don't know." You glare at him. "And no man owns me. Remember that."


        You use your limited Force abilities to open the door.
//I thought Mace was jealous// You muse taking your small purse off the desk. //At least I can handle him. I wonder what he's doing?//

        The door slams shut and locks just as youreach it. Qui-Gon wraps his arms around your waist.

"You are mine and now I shall prove it to you." He growls lifting you off your feet.

"NO!" You squirm as you are carried to the center of the room. He sets you down gently and pulls out a chair. His posture is straight, erect as he places his hands on his knees.

        You try to move but find that your feet are glued to the floor.
"Now we shall see who is really in charge." He scratched his beard. "Take off your dress."

You cock your head to the side in disbelief, "No."

He waves his hand. "You will take off your dress now."

You find yourself desperately wanting to take off your dress and you obey your thoughts/his thoughts. You hike up the skirt and shimmy out of it by pulling it over your head. You toss the dress to him. He sniffs it briefly enjoying your cologne, smiles and then places it on the desk next to him.

Now your black laced bra, thong underwear, stockings and spiked heels are all that you are wearing. The chill in the air causes your nipples to harden. Qui-Gon licks his lips.
"Remove your stockings and then put your heels back on."

You willingly do as he says. Suddenly images are projected in your mind. They are of the times you two were together. Making love in front of the fire place in your apartment, catching a quickie on your desk before your next meeting. His warm mouth tasting, exploring your skin.

        The temperature in the room jumps 10 degrees as your heart begins to race. Then images of you flash in your mind of you two nuzzled together on the sofa. He and you caressing each other, him stroking your hair and kissing you gently.

//No.// You tell yourself. //He is manipulating me.//

You close your eyes and counter the images with you speaking with other men. Holding hands and going to dinner with them. Of the first time you and Mace kissed.

        Qui-Gon was upon you with a flash.
"Don't do that." He growled and pulling your hair exposing your neck, "Never think of another man in my presence."
There is a distinct feeling of jealous, hatred and anger that you feel building in the room. Its coldness surrounds the room like a wet blanket enveloping you in darkness.

        Qui-Gon begins hungrily kissing your neck. Tracing it's outline with his tongue. He devours your mouth as if trying to suck the very breath from you body. You hungrily reciprocate.
His strong arms pick you up, holding you just beneath your shoulders and underneath your rear. He takes two of his characteristic long strides and is next to the bed that he proceeds to toss you upon. You gasp feeling winded. He allows you little time for respite as he is upon you kissing you hungrily again.
"I'm going to make you mine." He whispers to you, his cobalt blue eyes driving his point home. "You can scream as loud as you want and no one will hear you."

        You feel the Force pinning your body to the bed. Your arms are raised above your head as his mouth searches your body for all those places he and you have explored before.

You close your eyes and moan as you feel his mouth explore your breasts, probing the nipple with his tongue. Licking, biting and licking again. He kisses and licks your flat ridged stomach approaching your wet center but never going there.

"Qui please." You moan.

"This won't end until you know that I'm Master." He gets up and takes off his robe and utility belt. They fly neatly to the desk and lay next to your dress. He finishes where he leaves off spreading your legs exploring your wetness with his rough calloused hands.

His faces dives toward your center causing you to nearly leap out of your skin as he mercilessly licks your clit massaging it with his tongue. You lick your lips in response moaning and writhing feeling your hips buck. His wiry beard tingles the nerves of your labia. He opens your legs wider delving his tongue deep inside you causing you to wail.

"Pleeeaaaasseee." You wail as he licks and kisses the sides of your legs causing you shriek. Your so wet you don't know what to do. You do know your thong is definitely too confining. You want it off and him inside you now.

//In time my love// He says standing up and slowly undressing. His look of amusement shows that he's enjoying his slow torture.

You try to sit up but find that you are too turned on to do so and the Force is still pinning you down. All you can see is his face and his bare chest. He climbs on top of you opening your legs but first kisses you hungrily allowing you to taste your essence on your lips.

//You are mine. You will put no other man before me.// He stares into your eyes.

You can only moan in response. His cock moves the thong to the side clearing a way to your opening. You close your eyes and shriek as he penetrates you deeply in one stroke. His violent thrust moves you and he up the bed.

"Ahhhhuughhhhh!!" You wail as he thrusts in your mercillessly. Your wetness and arousal builds. His largeness fills you, causing you to stretch.

The bed's squeaking is only drowned out by his grunting and your moaning. He opens your legs wider leaning into you placing his weight upon you. You find that you are able to wrap your arms around him as your stare at his chest. His thick, stiff manhood is pushing on your very cervix causing you just a hint of pain mixed with pleasure.

He moves his hips around in circles causing you to pant. You recognize the feeling that is rising from your center. You can feel yourself approaching the edge.

"Uhhhh...." You moan, "Qui-Gon..." And scream as you climax digging your nails into his flesh.
You lay under him exhausted. But he is far from over. He pulls his stiff penis out of your dripping vagina and turns you over on your stomach. He lifts your ass and pelvis to him and enters you from behind, pounding you mercilessly causing you to scream in to the bed.
//Say it// He demands in your mind in between grunts.

//No.//

He exits you fully and then enters you fully causing you to grunt making you wonder if you'll ever be able to walk again.

//Not if I can help it.//

His massive strong hands dig into your fleshy hips, as he continues to ram you. By now your moaning is continuous as your wetness is now uncontrollable. You can feel yourself climbing again. He stops momentarily to calm himself and enters you anew moving his hips circularly sending you over the edge again. You scream a blood curling scream and collapse exhausted on the bed.

Panting you plead, "Master please."

He turns you over. Your shaky as he hungrily studies you. You look down at his long, engorged cock. The long stalked wetness was stiff and erect, not yet ready to deliver his seed.

Knowing what he needs you hungrily bend down and take it into your mouth. Tasting yours and his wetness combined. You lick the tip and explore its length finally ending up at its base.

His hands are tangled in your hair lovingly caressing you. You feel his hostility melt away allowing his true feelings for you— deep love and affection. As are your feelings for him. That's what they always were for him but you never had the courage to tell him.

//I love you// He intones to your mind.

You answer him back by fully taking him into your mouth as much as you can. He gasps grabbing your hair and pulling you back.

"No." He says and then kisses you, "I want to come inside you tonight."

He suddenly stands up and lifts you. He leans down sucking on your lips and your chin as he takes you away from the bed. You wrap your legs around him as he leans your back against the wall. Where he begins anew. You don't know if you have the energy to come again but you are about to find out. He pumps you wildly trying to develop enough friction to release the tightness building in his scrotum.

Your linked minds tells you of his pain and torture that he is feeling unless he comes soon.

"Come for me Master." You whisper breathily feeling your self climb again.

"Unnnhhhgghh." Is his acknowledgement as his pumping increases.

His hips almost grinds you into the wall his movement increases dragging you towards the cliff of ecstasy. The edge approaches as both your breathing becomes ragged. You shriek as the muscles around his cock contract once again. He growls and drives himself into you as his seed explodes inside of you. You can feel his warmth filling you as he continues to pump. He keeps coming and coming. Filling you so until you feel the tightness of being full. His hips slow down as you finish milking him, his semen oozing out of you and running down your leg.

He carries you over to the bed where you both collapse. You lay on his muscled chest wrapped in his exhausted arms.

//I love you Master//

//I love you too//



        Siduri Archanes stands on the balcony staring at the night sky. Thousands of Transports crisscross back and forth in the Coruscant air space. She wondered if Gabrielle knew she was here. Her fellow countrymen always had a fondness for skipping out on the duty of her planet, her duty to her people. Gabrielle had responsibilities that must be taken care of on her homeworld. One of which was restoring her lineage and her planet to its former glory and the possibility of uniting their Houses. Not gallivanting around with Dark Jedi. Siduri's spies kept her abreast of Gabrielle's exploits.
Siduri turned around to face the party. Her eyes narrowed to slits as she watched Qui-Gon Jinn speak with his apprentice and a young lady who looked like she went hiking in a freezer. Of course, Gabrielle had no idea she wasn't with the real Qui-Gon.
She would find out soon enough.

~~~TBC~~

--my-gin-gone

WHEW! finally


===


From: "Selah Specht"
Date: Mon, 11 Oct 1999 08:44:19 CDT
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] R-a-J RR

I sighed for the thousandth time that hour as I made my merry way
about the room, still looking for an unguarded escape route. No such luck.
After chatting with a few folks I checked again...Ha-ha! The balcony door
Diebin had been guarding was now unattended! Quickly, I snuck over to the
door, opened it, crept out...

And promptly shrieked as something collided with my gown in a wet splat.

"ARTOO DETOO!!!!" I roared upon noticing the stack of water balloons. "NO
WATER BALLOONS!!" I added, rushing for the droid. He beeped indignantly and
raced for the ballroom, shutting the door before I could reach him. I
grabbed the handle and twisted, but it was locked. Great! Now I was locked
outside on a balcony, in a soaking wet dress, and it wasn't exactly warm out
there! Grumbling, I threw the rest of the balloons off the balcony, really
not trying to hit anybody's speeder...really.

Then it hit me. The rope! The rope I had stashed out here when I had tried
to escape after that Kun incident...if only it was still around...Looking in
the potted plats confirmed my hopes! Quickly, I grabbed the length of rope,
tied one end securely round the railing of the balcony, and let the rest
drop. Now I could repel down, and go back inside-

What was I thinking? Hell, I could get out of this joint for the rest of
the evening! Grinning from ear to ear, I carefully swung myself over the
railing and let myself go, clenching my teeth as my heels slammed against
the wall. Ouch. Well, I should've thought of that ahead of time. Slowly,
silently, I repelled downward, kicking myself for not thinking of this
earlier...

I didn't think much of the sudden jerk of rope. It had probably caught on
something. But when I began to slowly rise back up to the balcony, I began
to get a little suspicious. Especially when I realized that I was being
levitated through the Force. I resisted the urge to spout out something
unladylike and settled for mentally threatening my 'rescuer' instead.
Probably Obi-Wan or Qui-Gon. When I got my hands on them...

My eyes widened in a truly stunned expression as my head peeked above the
railing, allowing me to see who was behind my sudden ability to fly. For a
moment I wasn't sure if my heart had actually stopped beating or whether the
world really was spinning. Luckily, Luke took the expression as me being
stunned at being yanked back up and flashed one of those grins that make
everything inside me melt. Swallowing hard, I accepted his hand as he set me
back on the balcony floor.

"I was going to come right back in, honest!!" I immediately defended,
and he just gave me a knowing look.

"I'm sure you were...I just wanted to be sure...I actually came out here
to apologize for Artoo...he's been more than a handfull tonight..."

"You think?" I muttered, shivering not only because of the cold. It was
then that Luke noticed the condition I was in and his amused expression
sombered slightly.

"I'll have a word with him once he sobers up...It is chilly out here..."
he added before attempting to wrap an arm around me. I knew if he even
touched me again I'd never be able to form a coherent thought ever again, so
I quickly stepped out of range.

"Yeah, well, it's, um...it's not that bad!" I managed, grinning feeblely
at his confused look. "Don't tell me we're locked out here..." I moaned to
myself as I noticed that the door was shut again. Chuckling, Luke flicked a
hand and the door unlocked with a click, but judging by the expression in
his eyes he wouldn't have mentioned the locked door if he could help it...As
soon as the barrier opened I attempted to fly through, but stumbled on the
heel of a shoe.

"Here, let me help," Luke offered, catching me easily. Oh good lord...I
mumbled a thank you as he guided me back inside and he was about to speak
again when he frowned.

"What is it?" I asked, amazed that I could talk.

"A disturbance in the Force...it's Diebin! She's with the Obi-Clone..."

"Oh, no...come on, we've got to get to them before..." I left the rest
hang in the air and he nodded immediately. Obi-Wan must've felt it, too,
because he was right behind us as we left the ballroom and rushed for the
stairs.

*********************************


===


From: "Crysta Novelli"
Date: Mon, 11 Oct 1999 11:03:22 EDT
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] RaJ RR: Crysta and Luke part 4

This leads right up to Ziggy's escape/rescue from the balcony. :-)

---------------------------------------------------


Luke nuzzled my shoulder, and I relaxed in his arms, stroking his skin. He
was beautiful, as was the experience we had just shared. We laid there
together for a bit, recovering, cuddling, replaying the events of the
evening over again in our minds. I couldn't believe I'd just slept with
Luke Skywalker. After the prude I'd been my whole life, every value I'd
ever prided myself on had suddenly done a one and a half gainer with a full
twisting back off the edge of that balcony out there. But you know what?
It was worth it, and I didn't regret it in the least. But would this be a
one night stand, or was there something more between us? There was
definately chemistry, and it had sparked over and over again, but what would
he do now? He was just an employee here, after all. Did he see me as
nothing more than a guest?

He rolled over then, sitting up just enough to gaze into my eyes. "I don't
want this to be a one night stand. There is something very special about
you, and though Ziggy would kill me if she found out, I think I'm falling in
love with you."

What? I couldn't have heard that right. And I'd _totally_ forgotten that
he could read my mind. Damn him! He must have sensed my disbelief as well,
because he leaned down and kissed me so passionately, all doubt was stricken
from my mind. When it was over, he sat up. "As much as I would _love_ to
lie here with you all night," he said, the disappointment clear in his
voice, "I need to get back to the party. I've sensed a disturbance in the
Force, and I think Ziggy's in trouble. She needs a few more sober folks
down there to help her out."

I nodded, still whirling from his admittance to me. He loved me! Well, he
was falling in love with me. He was right - Ziggy probably would kill him
if she found out. And she needed our help right now. Hmm. Maybe we could
score some points with her? I grinned, and Luke grinned back, picking up on
on my thoughts.

We got dressed, and made sure we were both presentable. Luke tucked a few
strands of loose hair back into my clip, and I helped him smooth the
wrinkles in his suit. We joined hands, and headed downstairs, but not
before he whispered something in my ear about continuing this _after_ the
party.

The ballroom wasn't _too_ bad, but we could see guards stationed at every
exit - including the windows. "Ziggy trying to keep someone from excaping?"
I asked Luke. "No, I think someone's trying to keep Ziggy from escaping,"
he replied. "Look." He pointed to the balcony, and I just saw Ziggy's form
disappear through the door. "Wait here. I'll be right back," he said,
heading for the balcony.

A few moments later he and a very _wet_ Ziggy appeared. She attempted to
flee, but tripped. He caught her easily, and they headed towards me.
Suddenly Luke stopped, a funny look on his face.

"What is it?" Ziggy asked.

"A disturbance in the Force..." he replied. "It's Diebin! She's with the
Obi-Clone..."

"Oh, no," Ziggy moaned. "Come on, we've got to get to them before..." she
trailed off, leaving the rest of her thought unsaid.

I didn't know what was going on with Diebin, but an Obi-Clone sounded like
bad news to me! They took off for the stairs, and I was right behind. Who
was I to miss some action?


===


From: "Selah Specht"
Date: Mon, 11 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] R-a-J RR - Zigs to the Rescue!!

I pounded up the stairs after Obi-Wan, visions of what might be going
on in that room pulsing through my head. Oy, and Diebin *wanted* us to
interrupt? Ah, well! Duty and all that jazz, I suppose.

As soon as we reached the room I hit the panel by the door, but it
didn't open. "Locked!" I hissed, frowning as I fumbled for the master
keychip. Whiping it out I ran it through the panel..."Still nothing! Clone
boy must've changed the entry code!!" I bit out, glancing at Obi-Wan who did
not look happy. Far from it, in fact.

"Stand aside," Luke called as he and Crystal ran down the hall to meet
us. I smiled despite the shock at realizing they must be an item. Good for
her...bad for me, but I was still happy for her.

Immediately Luke reached out with the Force and an extended hand. Still
nothing. Obi-Wan joined in, but the stupid door refused to budge. "He must
be blocking us through the Force!" Luke gasped when he finally gave up. That
answer didn't satisfy Obi, though, who by this time was banging on the door.

"Get your hands OFF her!!! If you dare try and ravish her-"

"There's no try about it!" came the smug response and my eyes widened as
the padawan's eyes began to smolder.

"All right, all right, nobody panic...we'll just have to do this the old
fashioned way...Can't use the drill to take out the hinges...it's a sliding
door so that won't work...but...doors can still break," I chuckled, ducking
down the hall momentarily.

"She wouldn't..." Crysta murmured, her eyes widening. "Would she?" she
asked Luke who merely shrugged.

"Well somebody had better do something!!! Diebin, are you all right in
there?!" Obi-Wan shouted through the door.

"She's fine, though she'll be better in a bit..."

Obi growled at the clone's answer and I quickly returned, hefting a
chair from my room. "Okay...let's see how strong this thing is...excuse me,
but I'm going to need some room," I advised and waited for the audience to
back up a few steps. "All righty then...one...two...three!!!" Swinging the
chair as hard as I could, I smashed it through the door, the force of the
swing propelling me inside with the chair. Obi-Wan dived in immediately and
went to Diebin. However, his clone must've thought that I was Obi-Wan when I
came through because I now had the clone on top of me trying to beat my head
through the floor.

"WILL YOU GET OFF ME YOU MORON!!!" I screamed, watched as Luke yanked
him off me, and winced as his fist glanced off my jaw. "HEY!!!"

"Oh, it's you! Sorry bout that..." he murmured sheepishly and I fixed him
with a death glare. "Are you all right?"

"ALL RIGHT? I'M SOAKING WET, I JUST GOT PUMMELLED BY A JEDI CLONE, I HAVE
TO GO BACK DOWNSTAIRS AND PLAY CHAPERON AND YOU ASK IF I'M ALL
RIGHT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?" I roared, pulling myself back up to my feet, taking
a few much-needed deep breaths. "All right...okay...I can deal with
this...Obi-Wan, stay with Diebin and make sure she's okay," I said shakily,
giving Diebin a slight grin before she could throw something at me. "You
two..." I muttered, pointing to Crysta and Luke, "Go do whatever it is you
do..." I sighed, then turned to face the Obi clone. "I'll take care of
him..."

"How do we know you're not going to sneak off again?" Obi-Wan asked
skeptically.

"Because right now the only thing I want is ice and lots of it!!" I
snarled, rubbing my sore jaw. "Come on, braid boy!" I added, yanking the
clone by the braid down the hall and to the stairs.

"Come on! Ow, hey, watch it!! We can still get away..."

"No. We. Can't!!! You just tried to ravish one of the interns!!!"

"What's wrong with that?"

"SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BE RAVISHED, DORK! NOT BY YOU!!" I bit back, giving
his braid a good yank to emphasize the point.

"Fine...but that doesn't mean we can't go someplace..." he purred,
pressing me against the stair railing.

"Excuse me? I'm drenched! I don't feel like going anywhere at the
moment!!"

"Then why don't we stay here and I can help you out of those clothes..."
he added, leaning in. I felt my breath catch in my throat as I regarded his
amazing eyes...until I glanced over and saw that his hand was getting into
mind whammying position...

"Don't you dare..." I growled, grabbing his hand and twisting. "I am NOT
in the mood for this...now you are going to go down there, be charming,
flirt with the GUESTS and stay out of trouble!!!" I told him, shoving him
down the remaining steps and into the kitchen. "Now go!!" I added, pushing
him into the ballroom. Shaking my head, I began to raid the regular freezer
for ice to make a compress. I sighed as I looked down to assess the
situation...well, a few bruises and scratches, but nothing too serious. I'd
be sore, but nothing else. Well, I was still wet and I probably didn't look
as decent as before, but I'd live with it. Maybe I couldn't go clubbing, but
I could still run out, catch some air, go for a drive, get out of
here...Glancing around, I pressed the pack on my jaw and hurried to the far
door of the kitchen and dashed into the hall. And straight into Mace.

"Um...I was just...um...I really wasn't...um...so, how are you?" He gave
me a slightly amused look that confirmed my fears that he knew exactly what
I was up to.

"Back to work..." was all he said and the next thing I knew I was being
gently but firmly shoved back towards the entrance to the ballroom.

**************************************************************


===


From: "Crysta Novelli"
Date: Mon, 11 Oct 1999
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] R-a-J RR: For Zigs

For you, Zigs. :-)


---------------------------------------------------


I turned to Luke. "All right. First, let's get out of here," I said,
watching Obi-Wan grin at Diebin and her cringe in return.

Luke grinned at me, nodded, and grabbed my hand. "Later, guys!" we called
as we left, stepping over the pieces of the broken door.

We paused at the top of the stairs, and I turned to Luke. "Okay, Zigs needs
some help. I have a feeling this party's getting _totally_ out of hand, and
she needs something to take her mind off it."

Luke smiled knowingly, reading my thoughts perfectly. "Great," he agreed.
"You handle that, I'll go take care of a certain clone."

We headed downstairs then, and I headed off to find a certain someone while
Luke approached Obi-One, who was busy checking out the beautiful clientel in
the ballroom.

Luke walked right up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, Obi-One!
I was wondering - could you give me a hand in the kitchen, please?"

The clone grinned wickedly. "Is Crysta in there?"

"Uh, yeah!" Luke replied, a sudden idea coming to mind. "She needed your
help with something, and asked me to find you." Not sensing his lie,
Obi-Wan trotted happily towards the kitchen.

"Hey, where is she?"

"Uh, maybe she's in the freezer," Luke suggested. Obi-One opened the door
and peered inside. Then to Luke's delight, he opened the door wider and
stepped inside. Luke was right behind him, slamming the door and slipping
the dead bolt into place.

//Well, that takes care of the clone...//

*****************************************************************

Slipping through the crowd, I eyed my target carefully. Deep in
conversation with Master Yoda about something political, I patiently waited
until Yoda ran out of steam and wandered off, then casually sauntered up to
him.

Spying me, he smiled, no doubt wanted to dance with me again, but that was
not what I wanted him for this time. I whispered in his ear, and pointed to
where Mace had just appeared, dragging a very reluctant Ziggy with him.

Qui-Gon grinned, and headed towards her. She didn't even notice his
approach until he was close enough to touch her.

Smiling to myself, I headed off to find Luke.


===

From: "Selah Specht"
Date: Tue, 12 Oct 1999 08:16:06 CDT
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] R-a-J RR: It's my party and I'll Qui if I want to!

Oh I couldn't resist the title, lol!!
And thanks Crysta!! Love ya chicky!!

**************************


I clenched my teeth harder and struggled to hang on to the door frame I
had caught with a hand as Mace had attempted to push me into the ballroom.

"NononononononononononononononoNO!!" I protested, digging my nails into
the wood, very aware that I was slipping.

"Come *on*!!" he grunted, tugging at my waist. "You've got to go back-"

"NO WAY!!" I wailed, trying to pull myself out the door. He grumbled
something and with a sudden jerk managed to pry my grip off the door frame
and get me into the room. "Come on, just let me go!!!" I pleaded, very aware
that he was finding this all too amusing. "What do you want? A raise?
Vacation time?"

"Are you trying to bribe a Jedi?" he asked, astonished.

"Bribe's such a harsh word...I prefer to think of it as motivate..." I
retorted. He grinned despite his frustration with me and I took the
opportunity to run for the door. He caught me, though, and held me until I
stilled.

"Come on, this night's almost over...what could possibly go wrong?"

"WHAT HASN'T GONE WRONG!!! I've had a clone turn up, the drinks get
spiked, I've been bombarded with water balloons, had a lewd ice statue to
deal with, karaoke, and I've just gotten the stuffing beat out of me by the
clone!" I reminded him, pouting as I rubbed my jaw. "I don't want to stick
around and find out what else can go wrong!!"

"There's no way you'll stay?" he asked, glancing behind me. I didn't
follow his gaze, though, because I was sure I didn't want to know what was
falling apart now. I let out an exasperated sigh and gave a stinging retort,
accenting each word with hand gestures.

"There is no way in the entire galaxy that I will stay here one more
microsecond, even if this were the only safe place left in the history of
humanity as we know it!!" I paused to breathe and felt my eyes widen as I
realized that one of my hands that had been flying through the air during my
little speech was now in the firm grip of a much larger hand and by the feel
of it someone was pressing maddening kisses into the skin of my wrist.

"What if we said please?" a familiar voice rumbled in my ear and I
couldn't help shivering.

"Well...um...I...oh, okay..." I conceded, my thought process switching
off as he began to suck on an earlobe. "Um...excuse us..." I managed to Mace
as I found myself being dragged to the kitchen.
I gasped as I was suddenly pressed against a wall, Qui-Gon's mouth sealing
over mine in a soft kiss.

"You've had such a hard evening..." he murmured when he finally let me
breathe. "And you really do need to get out of those wet clothes..." he
added and I trembled slightly as I watched his gaze roam over me.

"I would but I've got to stay down here and supervise...and besides,
you're supposed to be entertaining the guests!"

"I did all that...Now I'm keeping you from escaping," he chuckled against
the skin of my throat and I allowed an almost inaudible whimper to escape my
lips.

"Clone...gotta take care of the clone..." I gasped.

"He's locked in the freezer..." Qui-Gon whispered as he began to trace my
sore jaw with his tongue.

"The guests..."

"They're fine...and Obi-Wan is with Diebin, the council members are
talking everyone's ears off, Luke is with Crysta, and Patricia is sleeping
off the alcohol upstairs...everyone is taken care of..." he added,
emphasizing his point by nipping at my neck, his hands running over my
breasts through the fabric of the dress. "And now...you're going to go
finish your duties...and when all the guests leave I'll get my chance to
entertain you for the evening..." he purred, his mouth clamping over mine
again.

"If the whole thing doesn't erupt in mass chaos first," I replied somberly
as he released me. Rolling his eyes, he quickly flashed me one of his
patented looks before turning me around and guiding me back into the room,
one arm draped round my waist the entire way.


===


Subject: [Sith_Chicks] Rent-a-Jedi RR
Date: Tue, 12 Oct 1999
From: "Per'agana"

Trying to catch up, so I'm a bit behind in the timeline...
********************

I came in from the balcony and milled around a bit, talking to various
clients. Patricia
had "recovered" from her little episode with Maul and was now dancing with
Luke. Well,
that seemed a bit more likely.... I broke off from my thoughts when R3 came
beeping up
to me.

"Hey, R3! That bow of yours is looking a little frazzled....wait a minute, I
can't follow you
when you beep so fast! Artoo is....WHAT???" I howled. "What do you mean
he's
DRUNK? How can a droid get *drunk*?!?"

R3 blurped a response. "No, you're right-- I don't want to know. Who?....no,
wait, I don't
want to know *that* either. He's Luke Skywalker's droid, he can fix the
problem!" I
marched over in Luke's direction, observing that Patricia had dropped him
for Daddy.
Poor whiny little brat, just couldn't catch a break! On the other hand, I'd
seen Chrysta
giving him the look, so it appeared that our most innocent Jedi would end
the evening
happy after all.

I watched Patricia and Vader for a moment, slightly surprised. Vader wasn't
a bad
dancer, oddly enough. Perhaps I'd underestimated.....nah, probably not. I
wandered
close enough to catch their conversation on the way to see Luke—and really
wished I
hadn't.

I grabbed Vader by the cape and tugged. Hard. Vader pinwheeled backward
before
regaining his balance, huffing and puffing at me. "Excuse me for a moment,
Patricia. I
didn't mean to interrupt your dance", I said solicitously. I rounded on
Vader. "Now would
you care to explain to me just exactly WHERE you get off calling my Master a
"glorified
kickboxer", you whiny, overbearing, oversized *vacuum cleaner*!!!"

Vader snorted. "Just because your "Master" is better suited to teaching
aerobics to
housewives than ruling the galaxy with the Sith is no reason to hurl insults
at me!" he
boomed, pointy gloved finger stabbing at my chest.

My face turned crimson. "Oh, now you listen here, you junk shop refugee!
Don't you
dare try to tell me that the galaxy deserves to be ruled by a pile of spare
droid parts like
YOU, you obnoxious motherf..."

"Temper, temper...." an amused voice interrupted. I wheeled around and
looked at the
intruder. Judging from the black outfit and unsettlingly predatory demeanor,
he was
darkside, but I'd never seen him before. Definitely not Sith....Dark Jedi,
maybe.
Interesting looking, too. Short, with blunt, slightly spikey reddish blond
hair, arresting
eyes, and a mouth that looked capable of.... I blushed slightly, not used to
anyone but
the Sith having *that* effect on me.

"Vader, my old buddy, pal!" he said effusively. I did a double-take. I could
have sworn I
saw Vader stiffen.

"Jack", Vader said dourly.
The Dark Jedi glanced sidelong at me with a bemused smirk on his face. "My
old friend
doesn't seem very happy to see me...." He looked back at Vader. "Your mother
sends
her regards, by the way. Yes, my dear, dear Shmi. Still such a *lovely*
flower of
womanhood."

I had the vacuum cleaner analogy down perfectly. Vader started sucking in
his breath
like a Hoover. "If you've done *anything* to my mother, I swear I'll..."

The Dark Jedi chuckled. "No need to get so worked up, Lord Annie. You do
seem so
*frighteningly* tense." He glanced at me, "I do hope you aren't overworking
him, or
anything..."

I watched this interplay in slight shock, but a slow smile gradually crept
across my face.
Whoever this guy is, he's good. I'd never seen anyone willing to cross
Vader, let alone
play him like this. I turned toward the newcomer. "I don't believe we've
met, I'm Liz, the
Manager of Rent-a-Sith..."

He offered me his arm and led me away from Vader, who was currently being
calmed
down, thankfully, by Afton. He plucked a long-stemmed red rose from one of
the table
arrangements (strangely, I could have sworn I hadn't ordered roses...) and
handed it to
me, taking my other hand with a flourish and lightly kissing it, finishing
with a quick, but
pleasingly painful nip of my skin. "My friends call me Jack."

"Odd name for a Dark Jedi", I said teasingly.

"A Jedi once said that I am the Jack of All Trades," he said, in a low,
seductive tone. His
attention wavered for a moment as Adi Gallia passed by. "Adi, my dear. Long
time no
see. I heard about your cousin and brother...such a terrible shame." Adi
shuddered in
disgust and hustled away. He looked back at me. "...and 'Liz' is an odd name
for a Sith
apprentice", he said softly.

"How in the Force did you know...." I broke off as I watched his eyes travel
up my Sith
glyphs.

"Sith spell, right?" He spread his hands apologetically. "I'm not all that
familiar with Sith
runes..."

I blushed slightly. "Fascination spell, actually", I murmured.

He grinned. "Seems to be working..." His gaze was strangely hypnotic.

I tore myself away with difficulty. "What's up with you and Adi Gallia?"I
asked.

"Just a tiny, little...misunderstanding. She doesn't appreciate that I hunt
my prey a bit
differently than my Dark brothers....though I suspect *you* would
understand." he said
softly.
I looked around. The party was definitely moving into a new stage. I watched
Maul at
the bar with Andrea, Patricia heading upstairs with Qui-Gon, and Kun
waltzing Celeste
toward the Sith stairway. I knew the clients were the focus here, and I knew
Ziggy
wasn't having any more fun than I'd been having— if anything, she looked
close to
murdering the two Obi-Wans (good!)-- but I still felt strangely alone. Ah,
what the hell.
Why not?

I turned toward the Dark Jedi. "Perhaps I *would* understand...." I purred,
opening to
the Dark Side enough that my normal conciliatory manager look was replaced
with a
predator's hunger.

Jack's eyes closed for a moment and he leaned his head back, feeding off the
energy.
"Ah, very good..." he leaned toward me, whispering in my ear. "I knew we
would be very
much alike", he said huskily, nibbling gently at my neck, then turning my
face toward
his. Our eyes locked and his mouth hungrily claimed mine. Yes, that mouth
*was* every
bit as talented as I thought it would be.

I reluctantly came up for air and smiled at him. "Perhaps you'd like a
tour", I said,
gesturing toward the door leading to the staff rooms.

***************


===


Subject: [Sith_Chicks] RaJ RR: Master and Servant, take 2
From: "Celeste L'Pauvre"

I'm musically oriented, can't you tell? I have also managed to hear Depeche
Mode's "Master and Servant" several times on www.radiomoi.com while writing
this.

I had posted some questions, but I wanted to go ahead and post this. I'm
still debating the underwear issue. I'm leaning towards commando. Exar just
isn't the tighty whitey kinda guy and I can't picture him in black silk
boxers either. Votes for regimental? I CAN see him in a kilt....Those
honking big claymores don't donnybrook for much ridicule....

It's late, I'm delirious, I'm Celeste, EKOB

sorry to send this top part twice, hit send before paste....

!~~~~~~!~~~~~~~~!

As sudden as his touch had been, so the strings that had held me aloft were
cut. I fell forward onto yet a third surface: cold as the ice but much
harder was the red veined black marble beneath me. I landed palms first, a
loud smack of flesh on stone, impact jarring my bones together. I wondered
briefly whether I should stay or stand as my ears registered the sound of
his bootheels clicking hollowly on towards me. I could see my startled
reflection in the shine of leather that stopped mere inches below my face.

"Gaze upon me, puppet," I followed my master's order and raised my eyes,
settling back on my haunches to allow a full view of his tall form. "Remove
my raiment and let us see if you are worth my attentions."

I ran my hands firmly yet carefully up his sides to the buckles that held
his cape and ornately engraved pauldrons in place at his shoulders. He held
his arms away from me, denying the contact I desired. I worried the leather
loose with caution, dreading what might befall me should I damage his silks.
As the second buckle gave way, the heavy harness fell to the floor with a
great swirl of fabric and a dull clunk. I cringed involuntarily, daring a
glance at his face. Eyes of green fire watched my every move. With trembling
hands, I reached for the buckles on his left wrist brace. His expression
never changed as he moved his arm higher and higher until I had to stand
precariously on tiptoe and undo the clasps with fingertips that could barely
touch. With better care, I placed the brace on the floor. He repeated the
act with his right wrist but that small piece of armor slipped from my
grasp. I scrabbled to catch it before it clattered loudly next to its mate,
ended losing my balance in the process and crashing in to Exar. I slid down
his well-formed chest as he made no effort to keep me vertical. Trying to
recover some sense of purposefulness, I snagged my hands in the belt at his
waist while my knees collided painfully with the flooring. I could sense his
paradoxically amused displeasure, knew I would pay for the slip. Through
the fine fabric of his robe where my forehead lay, I felt his hard length. I
rubbed my cheek against him without thinking, a second too late I realized
what I was doing.

One finger, glowing with Force, stabbed painfully under my chin, lifting my
face up and away from his body. "Did I give you permission to touch other
than armor and robes?"

"No, Master," I simpered, hating myself for it. A tear slid down my cheek as
the point of Force surrounded my throat and squeezed.

"You will get your fill of my flesh, my pretty little pet." He eased his
spectral grip around my neck, "I don't believe you've finished the task I
set you."

With eyes closed and my heart pounding, I undid his belt, daintily parting
the voluminous robes to avoid contact with his skin.


===


Subject: [Sith_Chicks] RAJ RR: After some rumbling
From: "Celeste L'Pauvre"

Hiya, gang!

Bear with me on this. I'm posting once again for the Suzy-come-lately who
actually wrote this piece. The last paragraph makes it make a little more
sense. Now, I'm off to write another chunk of the Exar Kun bit that is MINE
(okay, and Gerald's). Do with Kris what you will for jumping Darth Maul, I'm
sure she'll enjoy it since she doesn't have time to write what she wants to
happen at this exact moment. Might have a bit with the clone for later,
though...Arrgh.

T'ra, Celeste, EKOB

"It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both."
--Niccolo Machiavelli

~~~~

My eyelids fluttered. I was trying to remember where I was. What exactly had
happened?

"Susst?"

A familiar voice reached my ears, and I opened my eyes. "Obi-Wan?"

"How are ya, little sister?" He was using his pet name for me. My eyes
finally focused on the face that was looking down on me worriedly. When he
saw I was coming to he
smiled, "You scared me for a bit."

I glanced around at the room I was in. It was obviously a bedroom, and I was
sprawled out on the bed. I tried to sit up, but winced at the dizzying pain
in my head. Moaning, I let my head sink back down to the pillow. "Where am
I, Obi-Wan?"

"This is... um...MY room."

I looked at him strangely for a moment. Something was strange about the
young man that had come to be as close as a brother to me, but my aching
head wouldn't let me place it. "How did I get here?"

Obi-One reached a tender hand to brush a stray strand of hair from my face.
"You lunged at Maul with a piece of broken bottle. When I stopped you, you
passed out on me. I brought you here, where it's safe." His eyes held mine
tenderly. "Su, did he do anything to you?"

"Who... oh! Shit!" The memory of what had taken place with Darth Maul came
flooding back to me. "Just some head games and roaming hands, but damn, that
was enough." I put a hand to my head. "What did he make me drink?"

Obi-One took my hand. "Don't worry, it will wear off after awhile."

I gave him a half smile, despite the still nagging feeling that something
was 'different' about my friend. "I should thank Kris for saving my hide."
And I shivered at the thought of what had nearly happened to me.

Obi-One's eyes softened, showing he understood how shaken I actually was.
"Just relax. You can tell her when you have fully recovered."

I closed my eyes again. It was hard to keep them open, and I was having
trouble staying awake. "I wish I could see Master Qui-Gon."

My friend nodded, rubbing my arm gently, as he sat on the bed beside me. He
knew how much I looked up to his master, the man who had saved my life as a
child, and who was the closest thing to a father figure I had ever had in my
life."I want you to rest now," Obi-One ordered firmly.

I yawned despite myself and grinned. "I think Kris was interested in you."

He grinned back, "I thought I told you to rest."

I stuck my tongue out at him, but immediately yawned again. "You should go
find her."

His grin widened. "You think so, huh?"

"Um-hmm," I replied sleepily. "I bet she could teach you a thing or two
about ravishing."

He looked at me shock on his face. "I've never heard you talk that way!"

"Must be the booze. But I bet it's true." I grinned drunkenly. "Don't you
wanna find out?"

"Ohh yeah," he mumbled under his breath, thinking I didn't hear.

"What was that?"

He chuckled, shakeing his head. "I'm not leaving you alone."

I turned onto my side, eyelids too heavy to open, feeling myself begin to
slip towards sleep. "Just lock the door, I'll be fine."

I felt something warm drift over my body, and I forced my eyes open to see
him drapping a blanket over me. "You know locks don't mean anything with
this crowd."

I snorted, too tired to actually laugh. "Oh go on, I'll be fine, you can
sense if I'm in any danger."

He sighed. "I should stay..."

"Oh go on." I yawned again, no longer feeling frightened. I was too sleepy
to feel much of anything. Even the throbbing in my head was dulled.

He thought about it for few moments. I figured he was trying to fight his
desire for Krista in order to be noble. Finally, he nodded. "Okay, but if I
sense any trouble, I'll be here in a flash."

"Um-hmm." I was barely aware of what he was saying, my eyes were shut again,
and I was giving in to sleep. I felt him pat me on the arm then get up off
the bed. The last thing I heard before sleep took over was the sound of the
door closing and locking after he had walked out.

Obi-One walked towards the stairs, muttering to himself, "Man, it really
sucks to be a Force-sensitive clone of a Jedi. She's kinda cute, I wouldn't
have minded ravishing *her*, but NOOOO. Dammit, gotta have those random
memory leaks from the original. 'Little sister.' Sigh."

===

Subject: [Sith_Chicks] RaJ RR: Sadeness: The Principles of Lust
From: "Celeste L'Pauvre"

Oh, yeah, this part is definitely, no doubt about it, absolutely NC-17.
Finally. Yep. Un-hunh. You betcha. Hope you like it.

Wishing the boyfriend were here RIGHT NOW,

Celeste, EKOB

~~~~~~~~~~

I kept my eyes sealed against what I knew would be my final undoing. I had
long imagined what this particular Sith Lord looked like sans garments but
had been too fearful to try him. Still, here I now was and my assigned task
was not yet complete. I grasped the edges of soft fabric between thumb and
forefinger, letting the material slide through my hold as I rose on unsteady
legs. I could keep my eyes closed no longer, I hadn't had permission to shut
them. I watched my hands moving along the black silk bracketing smooth white
flesh. I didn't fail to notice the washboard abs, the sculpted pectorals. I
began to pull the cloth further open, exposing sharply contrasted
collarbones. My breath caught in my bruised esophagus as his hands encircled
my wrists. I stared at the hollow of his throat while he guided my hands
away from him, maneuvering my arms into a surrendered position, and used the
leverage to push me slowly back to my knees. There was no question as to
what my next chore would be.

His cock proudly denied his aloofness, the ring piercing its tip trembling
minutely with each beat of his heart. I stuck out my tongue and looped the
tip through the ring, pulling the head in contact with my lips. Carefully
transferring my hold from tongue to teeth, I flexed my lips against tender
flesh. Releasing the metal from solid captivitiy, I caressed where metal met
skin with my tongue. Skimming along the glans, I opened my lips further to
take the entire cap in my mouth. Sucking lightly, I moved my head forward
and back, tongue alternately flicking and sliding against his shaft. As I
neared the tip again, I tugged slowly on the ring and felt a sharp intake of
breath above me. Risking censure, I let my teeth trail featherlight on the
downward stroke but covered them with my lips to form a cushioned ridge for
the upward pull. I allowed myself a small smile at the shudder that coursed
through Kun. Once more the swirl around the piercing, a repeat of the
previous ministrations. I stepped up the rhythm steadily, each stroke a
little quicker, a little more forceful. Envisioning a reversal of fortune:
him thrusting into me, I moved faster. My joy in pleasuring him ended
abruptly, a fistful of my hair painfully grabbed, stopped my mouth's next
journey forwards.

"It is good to enjoy one's work, puppet, but don't disillusion yourself." By
my hair, he jerked me to my much-abused feet, tilting my head back to make
certain I could see his expression. His eyes flashing with anger and lust,
he tightened his grip, brought my face close enough for me to feel his
breath against my vulnerable neck. "You are at my mercy, under *my* control.
Make no mistake."

We remained in that tableau for what seemed like eternity, tears streaming
across my cheeks even as my lacy underwear grew moister with my desire.
Thoughts ran like frightened deer through my mind, swift and many. *Just let
me survive this* I silently pleaded.

"I have nothing to gain from your demise, pet." He smiled ferally, fingers
massaging my scalp, drifting through my curls and down the back of my neck.
"Only your fear. Always your fear."

He backed away from me, strong hands smoothing down my hips, the last
remnants of my appareal-underwear, garters and ruined stockings-melted away
before his touch as my dress had earlier. I could no more have moved now
than I could then, despite every urge to flutter my hands before my
nakedness like some silly silent film damsel in distress. As his gaze took
in every curve and plane, caught every flaw and freckle, I felt my nipples
tightening and my cunt becoming more lubricated. Each passing second my need
grew as did my fear that I was not responding properly, that I would be
punished, that I would be denied further contact with his magnificent form.
He threw his head back and laughed, gave me an almost tender shove as what
light there had been dimmed to nothingness and his laughter echoed into
silence.

My short, shallow breaths loud in my head, I strained to hear Exar's
movements. The room was not so large, I reminded myself, despite various
experiences to the contrary. Something scaly slinked around my ankles,
forcing a startled "yip" from me. I held myself as still as possible, trying
desparately to not even breathe, as tiny pinpricks crept across my back.
Wind whooshed by my right ear, a sound of leathery flapping and I was
enveloped in cool fabric. Feverish flesh pressed against me, a small line of
damp metal trapped between us. Taut muscles flexed as his arms tightened
around me, drawing us closer, iron-hard erection rubbing the cleft of my
ass. He bent me forwards, curling himself over me, one knee spreading my
legs. Instinctively, I tried to stretch my arms ahead to catch myself as we
continued arcing down but his grip was too constricting.

Almost doubled over, he breathed deeply, "Hold your ankles, puppet."

I did as I was bid, glad I was flexible enough to do so, the fabric of his
recovered cape draping over me. He let go of the cloth and, as it wafted to
the floor, placed one hand upon my back, pushing me into an even more acute
angle. I nearly lost what little balance I had when I felt a slight pressure
at my dripping opening. He moved himself in a circular motion. Once, twice,
plunging in on the third rotation. I gasped as he filled me, whimpered as he
traced my spine with the one hand, moaned when he moored his hands at my
hips. He withdrew nearly completely before thrusting in, setting a languid
pace. Over the blood rushing in my ears, I heard him murmur, "What do you
fear most, pet? What do you desire more than anything?"

*This* I thought, *Oh, gods, just this* It was the answer to both questions,
I had feared being helpless, controlled, but had wanted most of all for Exar
Kun to put me in that position, more than an object, less than a slave.

"Yes, even so." A huskiness had entered his velvet voice. He leant over me,
his long hair sweeping to and fro across my back with each glide. Faster and
harder he pounded into me, fingers digging into my flanks. I gripped my
ankles fiercely, biting back a shriek, when a tingling sensation touched my
clit, circling and teasing, pinched my pert nubs, rolling and nipping. My
vaginal muscles flexed involuntarily as my orgasm washed over me
milliseconds after his slicked my inner thighs further. Two more pumps, two
more mindblanking waves washing over me.

His hands unclamped, wandered tremulously along my torso, settled on my
shoulders. He slid out of me as he brought me back to an upright position.
Vertigo pitched me backwards. This time, he caught me and turned me to face
him.

"Am I truly so terrible?" He whispered, kissing my forehead, my cheek, lips.
My eyelids drifted shut. Another chaste kiss, "Well?"

I opened my eyes and squinted in the bright light of the hallway. Exar Kun
stood arm's length from me, my wrists loosely encircled by his long fingers.
I shifted slightly, felt the brush of silk against my thigh, nylon and lace
between my legs. My heart skipped as he brought first my left, then my right
hand to his lips, leaving a light kiss on each. His shark's grin enhancing
the malevolent lust in his viridian eyes, he reeled me in.

Lips skimming mine, he repeated his question, "Well?"

I knew then how thoroughly he owned me.

~~now what?~~~~


===


Subject: Re: [Sith_Chicks]Rent-A-jedi Gala
From: Siduri Archanes


((*can finally post* It is long, but I hope worthwhile.))

*Siduri's dark brown eyes bore into those of Ulic Qel-Droma's, former Lord of
the Krath and First Apprentice of the Sith, second only to that of Exar Kun
himself. Everything about this man is appealing to her: his tosseled brown
hair, well-sculpted muscular chest hidden by the black silken shirt and cloak
he wears, deep brown eyes similar to that of her own, the Sith rune given to
him by one of the former Dark Lords, smack in the middle of his forehead; and
of course, the blanket of darkness draped about his person. Siduri licked her
lips as she eyed him, knowing fully well that Ulic was once a light Jedi, just
as Exar Kun had been, but turned his interest to the forbidden teachings of
the darkness in the infant days of the Old Republic. Ulic's quest for
knowledge was further deepened by his passions for the Krath sorceress Aleema.
But Aleema was dead, killed by Ulic himself, generations before Siduri was
even born, and Siduri knew that were she still living, she would be no match
for her. And so, she stepped forward, swinging her hips slightly, the sheer
jade fabric of her gown swishing with her steps.*

*Ulic did not fail to notice her either. He leaned against the wall with one
leg braced against it, feigning disinterest, whereas every part of his being
was riveted to the woman with the flame colored tresses approaching him. He
reached out, caressing her presence with his own darkness, finding it adding
greatly to her allure, as this meant she was one who would be ripe for the
taking without needing any excessive persuasion that he had found the
lightside women to require. Nomi Sunrider alone took him years to bed. Nomi.
Ulic's thoughts of her came flashing back instantly as he looked at Siduri.
Indeed Siduri reminded him of his old, former friend and lover, who had so
desperately tried to save him from the darkness; both women were beautiful,
having long, luscious red hair, and both were dangerous; although Siduri
delighted in the kill and Nomi was quite the perfect Jedi.* Well, well. A Sith
female,if I am not mistaken? *Ulic smirked, crossing his hands over his chest
as he watched Siduri.*

*Siduri returned his smirk she stood to face Ulic, bowing her head slightly*
You are correct, my Lord Qel-Droma, I am Siduri Archanes, Warrior of our
religion, and holder of the realm of Praesitalyn.

*Ulic sprung slightly from the wall, his eyes entranced by her beauty, her
body shining through the fabric as impure thoughts of how he could utilize
each and every of her piercings filled his mind. He knew that he must possess
her as he did Aleema so many years ago. He took a few steps toward her, so
that there was little empty space between the two bodies and brushed his
gloved hand against her cheek* You will be mine; you will take the place at
my side that was meant to be Aleema's until that foolish woman sought to
betray me. *his eyes flash as he pulls Siduri's body flush against his, his
lips move down her neck toward the upper portions of her cleaveage, driving
his tongue between her breasts.*

*At once, Siduri knows that she must possess Ulic as well, make his manhood
provide her with the sweet milk she craves. She would tear his black pants off
him, here and now, with no regard for the Jedi whose party she had crashed.
She did not care if they cast them peculiar glances; all she wanted was Ulic.
She rips the zipper down from his pants and slid her hand inside, searching
for his pulsating manhood and roughly begins to rub it. Her dark eyes burn
with an inner fire as she moans lightly at the feel of his lips against her
bare skin.* I can please you far better than Aleema ever could. There is no
woman more skilled in the arts of love-making than one from Praesitalyn.

You must show me these secrets, *Ulic purrs, ready to rip her hand off of him
and insert himself into her, but he thinks otherwise, noting the congregation
of Jedi Council members scowling at his and Siduri's actions and grabs Siduri,
ready to pull her to the upper story, when suddenly, her face goes bright
white* Whatever the matter is, pay it no mind *Ulic mutters, feeling a
fluctuation in the darkness itself*

*Anger floods Siduri as she knows all too well whom it may be. One of her
so-called 'subjects' dared to show her face here tonight; dared to defy her
commands. She pulls herself away from Ulic with hardly any struggle and glares
at him* No, Ulic. I must deal with this and then I will have you, that I
promise you! *Siduri starts to go off in search of Gabrielle, following the
girl's force signature, as she was careless enough to allow others to feel
her.*

*But Ulic will not have it. He grabs Siduri by the wrist and throws her up
against a wall* You go off for a kill and yet you do not invite me! Who do you
think you are, woman! *he hisses, shaking her*

*It is not a Sith matter, but one of my own people that I must disciple! *she
replies through gritted teeth. Siduri's passion for him grows, as she sees
that he is a man indeed worthy of her servitude, as although he feel victim to
her charms early on, as many men do, he was not completely taken in by her
beauty to allow her to elude him.*

Then I will come with you, as I will not let you out of my sight, lest some
Jedi will find you!. *And with that, Ulic releases his hold on her, shoving
her away from the wall. He draws upon the force and from the darkness itself
he creates the illusion of a leash being strapped around Siduri's wrist.*

*She looks down at the illusion and growls, as it feels quite real, his skills
in developing them being far greater than her own in dispelling Sith
illusions. Ulic kisses her roughly and mumbles* Of course I don't trust you,
my dear. After all, we are Sith.

*Siduri's eyes flash, as she would be taking great pleasure from this were it
to have occurred within the bedroom. She knows that she must find and deal
with Gabrielle as she does not know how much longer she shall be able to
withstand her own passion for Ulic.* This way *she whispers, turning toward
the entrance, with Ulic behind her, in search of Gabrielle.*


===

From: "Selah Specht"
Date: Tue, 12 Oct 1999 08:16:06 CDT
Subject: [Sith_Chicks] R-a-J RR: Enter the GK

I sighed as I watched the cheerful, somewhat inebriated crowd having a good time. The Obi clone was somewhere, having slunk downstairs in a bad mood after the rumble...Who knew what else was going on!

I frowned as the doorbell rang. What the...I thought everyone who had come was already here!! Shaking my head, I walked to the door to greet the guest. Putting on my most charming smile, I opened the door...

And promptly slammed it shut when I saw who was behind it. Oh man!! Of all the times for...The doorbell began ringing insistantly and I knew he was just being nice. He could get in here easily if he wanted to. Sighing, I opened the door and regarded the man with spiky blond hair, mismatched eyes, dressed in garb that could only be called otherworldly. His tights were white, his jacket midnight blue, and his gaze was intense.

"Um...what are you doing here Jareth?" I managed, suddenly feeling very small.

"Well, I went over to your house to drop of those crystals I pay you for alimony...and you weren't there. You haven't been around much on the labyrinth list lately, love...and I've just been wondering why," he said calmly, regarding me with a searching eye.

"You sent Thor to spy on me," I sighed, knowing that I had seen that stupid little goblin hacking through my email at school.

"Of course...naturally I grow concerned when one of mine becomes scarce...I should've known it would be Jedi to lure you away..." he muttered, striding into the lobby.

"J! It's a good job!!! Come on...what do you want?" I bit out, then winced as he turned his glare to me.

"I want you to come back with me!"

"I can be a listian and a Sith Chick at the same time!" I argued, returning his glare. "I think I know what this is about...you're jealous, aren't you? Because in the six days when we were married-"

"Six long days," he added, rolling his eyes.

"You were the one who took me to Vegas and got me trashed" I snapped, then continued. "You're mad because in the time we were an item I technically didn't go all the way with you...I had you make it all a dream....and now you're jealous!" I crowed, triumphant.

"So you have been enjoying the fruits of your business!" he accused, heading towards the ballroom. Oh, brother...

"Jareth!! Will you cut it out!! I'll work on some of my labyrinth stories for you...I won't even make you Mick Jagger's father this time!!" I called as he strode into the room. No one really noticed him, but one particular figure did straight away.

"JARETH!!!" Afton shrieked, running over to us. "What are you doing here?" she asked, completely pale.

"So I see you've corrupted others with your Jedi fettish," he muttered to me before turning to Afton.

"Just checking up on Selah's little business venture..." he said smoothly. "And seeing which of my followers are being faithful," he added, his eyes narrowing. I sighed.

"You don't own us, Jareth!!" I snapped, pulling him towards the door.

"Neither do the Jedi..." he purred and I gulped as he began to get that look in his eye...

"Oh Jareth...please...not now...not here..." I moaned, turning to glance at Mace and Yoda who had just noticed the newcomer.

"Darling..." he murmured, pulling me close and tracing my cheek with a gloved fingertip. "I have missed you..." I bit my lip, trying not to admit how amazing his eyes were...which became somewhat easier when he sealed his mouth firmly over mine.

"Mmmph! What are you doing?" I asked, pulling away.

"It seems to me that you're a bit of a hypocrite...you refused to be mine because of my popularity, yet you have no qualms about getting off with a Jedi who's equally as popular..." he said, his voice dangerously quiet.

"I can't help what happened! And their egos aren't as big as yours!" I snapped, and his eyes narrowed at the "their."

"I know something else of theirs that probably isn't as big, either..." he hissed before turning thoughtful. "Who is it, love? Is it Farmboy?" he asked, knowing my intense, if unknown by some, love for Luke.

"Um...no..." I murmured, glancing away and his face erupted in a grin.

"So Skywalker doesn't return your feelings, how sad!" he chuckled as my face fell. "Oh, don't look so torn, dear! I'm sure that whoever seduced you thinks about you once in a while...maybe after he's cleaning up from one of his business excursions..." he muttered, a smug look on his beautiful face.

"That's low, Jareth!" I hissed and he chuckled.

"Still, you have to have wondered if it's all a game to them..." he added, circling me.

"Like it is with you?" I asked, raising an eyebrow, keeping my outside calm even though on the inside I either wanted to hide or break something.

"At least I give my...followers-"

"Harem."

"*Followers* more than a few passing moments of attention...I give them their dreams..." he added, licking his lips. "What have you got? A wet dress, too much stress, a bunch of horny Jedi who are interested in anything that moves, and a room full of sloshed guests."

"Jareth...leave me alone!" I snapped, stung by his accusations. How *was* I to know if my trysts with the Jedi had meant anything at all? After what I had seen tonight, how could I know?

"If you're so close with your Jedi....where are they now? Why aren't they by your side?" His face morphed into one of mock shock. "Could it be that they enjoy doing their job?"

"They're supposed to!" I commented wryly.

"Still...they're not here...they're entertaining the guests...and that is as it should be, don't get me wrong, but didn't it occur to you that you're just another conquest to them? Nothing more?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. I struggled to keep my breathing even, telling myself J was just jealous and saying whatever he could to irk me. And it was working.

"Tell me...I want you to tell me what you really want..." he purred, right before his mouth closed over mine. I tensed, then relaxed as his hands snaked over my back, soothing me. The old sensations promising magic and utter bliss that I always felt when close to J poured over me again. I had to get him out of here...he agrivated me to no end, but he always managed to use it to his advantage...

"Jareth...I want..." I managed, pushing him back.

"You want..." he cooed before running his mouth over my neck, right to my most sensitive spots.

"Jareth...I want you..."

"You want me..." his voice was all triumph.

"To go!! I want you to go!!" I managed, tearing away from him. "I can't have you here! NOT THAT!!" I added at his smirk. "You need to go...now! I don't care what you say...whatever their intentions are, they can't be worse than yours! I'll handle it!!"

"Is everything all right here?" a stern voice asked and I jumped. Whirling, I blushed as I confronted Mace.

"Um...fine..." I murmured, pulling hair out of my eyes. "I was just...talking to a friend...This is Jareth, Goblin King," I sighed, making the introductions. "He was just leaving..."

"A friend you say?" Yoda asked, his eyes knowing.

"A good friend..." I managed.

"A *very* good friend..." Jareth chuckled and I sighed, knowing if the boys ever heard about this I'd be in such poodoo. "And we were just talking about her little business here...and I do have to fly...I'll be seeing you later," he added, turning to me, flashing that grin that made my knees weak before gesturing and conjuring a perfect shimmering sphere, a crystal. In an instant, it had vanished, morphing him into a white owl. Silently it flew out of the balcony window and into the night.

I turned and looked guiltily to Mace and Yoda. "It was nothing...I didn't even know he'd find me!!" I insisted, too pounded by J's accusations and the emotions they stirred in me to think clearly. "I'll be right back...I need some air..." I sighed, jogging across the room to the balcony.
*************************

~*~  On to part 2 of the gala ~*~