JEDI TO BE

It had been a long and tiring fight, not the kind Tam had been trained for.
Words of stinging accusation still rang in her ears, words that had never
been spoken in her presence while in training at the Jedi Academy her entire
life before now. They shouldn't sting, they shouldn’t hurt, and they
shouldn't enflame that core of anger that she had spent her life dampening,
but all the "shouldn't"s in the galaxy couldn't stop it entirely. It just
wasn't fair, it wasn't her fault, but there was no way Senator Rees would
see it from her point of view. Not if his only son would be put in a bad
light.

"Senator, I will not fight you with words any longer. That is your arena,
not mine." If you care to pick up a lightsaber I’d gladly finish—no, I
can’t afford to think like that. Always be mindful of the dark side, Tam
reminded herself. "Cshanil is yours, I won't take your granddaughter away
from you for now."

"What do you mean, 'for now'?" Senator Rees had a dangerous look in his eye
as he scanned her words for an implied threat.

With the cool calmness of one trained in inner control she looked him in the
eye. "The Force is strong in my family. Make no mistake, Senator; my child
will be trained as a Jedi. I have foreseen this."

Tam left with curses and epithets following her, making her skin crawl with
the darkness he could invoke. It was bad enough that Voron Rees had died
not knowing of their child, but now his father, Senator Rees, accused her of
bewitching his son. When Cshanil Chronin-Rees had been born a violent
custody battle had been fought with Tam the loser.

I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not...a single tear escaped her eyes
as she walked to her room. She stopped and concentrated on her breath,
willing the control to return long enough to see her to her haven. Her eyes
slipped closed and her face took on a look of relaxed calm while she stood
in the hall. Just as she felt the peace she sought, a familiar presence
approached.

"Much energy, much concentration has this problem stolen from you."

Tam opened her eyes and saw the wizened countenance of Master Yoda. "Yes
Master, I fear it has put me behind." Sorrow welled up within her,
threatening to break her control.

"Behind, you are. Regret you must not. A lesson this has taught you, learn
it you must, then return stronger you will. Your best you have done, my
Padawan, and these events may still be for the best." He paused, looking
into her eyes and to the core of her soul. "The chaos within you is holding
you back. Away you should go, to rest your mind and think clearly. Away
from those things that will remind you of your pain. Then stronger will you
be."

"You mean, leave here alone?"

"Surrounded by Jedi you have been from the moment of your creation, never to
know what it means to rely on yourself."

"I have always felt secure knowing there was someone I could trust near me."

"Sheltered, you have been. Time to move on it is, after recent events sure
I am of this. Only then a Jedi can you be."

"But I need more training."

"Nothing more can you be taught. From within your strength must come or an
apprentice you will always be."

"How will I know when I am ready?"

"Ready you will be when you return. That knowledge too must come from
within."

Sensing that nothing could change his mind about her leaving, Tam stood
tall. "Yes, Master Yoda, I will do as you say."

~~~~~@~~~~~

Tam Chronin picked a planet at random and left behind the only home she had
ever known. Calmly she headed for the most remote planet she could easily
get to, some place called Dantoine. It meant nothing to her; she hadn’t
even met anyone on Coruscant who had even been there, so there were no
preassociations to cloud her thinking. It was a place she could be alone
with her meditations, where too many minds would not add to the internal
chaos she had to escape. All the preparations were made, all good-byes were
said, and even though she wouldn't be gone for a long time she felt like she
was leaving everything behind for good. As she looked behind one last time
she had to put behind a strange feeling she would never see the Jedi Temple
on Coruscant ever again.

A sudden wash of dread came over her, a disturbance in the force nearby.
Tam's eyes scanned the people around her for something dangerous, something
out of the ordinary, but nothing caught her attention. She shrugged,
dismissing the sensation, but it lingered despite her dismissal. She
boarded the ship awaiting her, feeling through the Force to see if there was
something wrong with it that caused her feeling of impending doom, but there
was nothing there. Whatever it was, there was nothing she could do about
it, and it was too illusive to track down. She couldn't even tell if it was
just a general sense of foreboding, or if it was something more specific.

Distracted, she walked to her assigned quarters without her usual vigilance.
The door opened, and a blaster met her face. Before she had a chance to
react she was falling to the floor, stunned....

~~~~~@~~~~~

She heard a voice she knew, and another she didn't. There were men, arguing
back and forth, but they were trying to be quiet. The voice she vaguely
recognized was surprised. "I find it hard to believe it was that easy to
grab that witch. I thought the Jedi had special powers, but you just
knocked her out easier than-"

"I was surprised too, but she seemed distracted by something. If she hadn't
been it would have been a lot harder still, so I don't owe you anything."

"Well, I guess I don't owe you anything either. It was so easy that the
down payment I made for the attempt is obviously enough."

"Fine, I won't warn you that she should be awake by now...."

"What?!?"

Tam sat up, head aching, but well enough to be a threat to most people.
"That's right, Senator, you just made two mistakes at the same time it
seems. Trying to cheat your own mercenary, and getting in the way of a
Jedi."

"A mere apprentice. Don't make me laugh. What are you going to do all tied
up without your weapon?"

The mercenary looked nervous. "You’ve never fought against a Jedi, or you
wouldn't ask that. I want nothing to do with such a fool, keep your money.
There are better ways to die." He stood up to leave, but the Senator’s icy
voice held him back.

"I wouldn't want to do anything hasty if I were you. Either of you. Tam,
don't forget I still have power over you in the form of an innocent child,
and I don't think you want her to die. If anything happens to me she will
be dead before you can reach her."

"I can't believe you would do that to your own granddaughter."

"I don't want to, believe me, but that's your decision to make. If she dies
it will be your fault, not mine."

"You are sick. Disturbed. Don't do this." Tam wanted to convince him of
her words, but she knew she had no chance of changing his mind so her words
came out in a strangely lifeless, hopeless monotone.

"Then shut up and listen." Senator Rees looked at Tam as if daring her to
talk while the mercenary sat off to the side trying to blend into the
background. "I want to be sure you don't get in my way ever again, but
since you are under the protection of the Jedi I can't just kill you.
Despite that, I would kill you if I thought it would erase your genetic
taint from my line or bring back my son. I'm a reasonable man, and I
understand that your death wouldn't solve any of my problems, but your
disappearance might. Cooperate, and Cshanil lives a happy life in a good
home. I'll even tell her that you were a good person, not the evil spawn of
darkness you are. Fight me, and Cshanil will die."

"You are the only evil here, Rees." There. She finally found the
appropriate emotion to put into her words.

"Don't push it, witch. Your entire family sold their souls to have those
powers, and I'm going to see to it that no descendant of mine falls that
way." He had a look in his eyes like that of a fanatic or a madman. "You
don't really have a choice, I will have my way. Don't make me hurt more
people than I must."

Tam sat still for a moment in thought, trying to find a solution. He truly
was angry enough, irrational enough, to make innocent people suffer for her
actions. It seemed all she could do was cooperate, at least for now. "What
did you have in mind?"

"That's better. Right now, all I want you to do is agree to let yourself be
sedated for the trip we are going to make, and when you wake up I want you
to play along with me."

"What do you mean by play along? How will I know what to do?"

"You're clever, you'll find out when you wake up."

"You promise not to kill me or Cshanil if I do this?"

"You have my word."

"I will do what you say."

~~~~~@~~~~~

Tam felt the slight gravitational difference of a strange planet when she
regained consciousness. It wasn't much, but details like that were apparent
to one trained in the Force. The next thing she was aware of was the
stimulant drug counteracting the depressants that had kept her asleep for an
unknown period of time. She could be anywhere in the galaxy and had no clue
where she even could be, except that it wasn't Coruscant. A young man in a
lab coat hovered over her as she opened her eyes, checking over her vital
signs. He smiled at her, extending a hand to help her rise.

"We appreciate your coming here, not many would volunteer for something like
this. No, don't try to talk yet, it will take a while to get over the
effects of the drugs. Just drink this and sit back, the doctor will be in
to see you in a few minutes." With another smile the man backed out of the
room, leaving her alone in a barren room with four white walls and a bed.

Tam did as she was told, wondering what exactly she had been volunteered
for. Seated on the edge of the bed, she sipped the cool drink she had been
given and waited while she regained her strength. After a short time the
door opened and Senator Rees walked in with a well-dressed Mon Calamari in
another white lab coat. He looked her over and seemed to approve.

"I am Doctor Fedarish, I will be overseeing operations during the
experiment. The senator has told me that you have had Jedi training and can
enter a trance state at will, is this correct?"

"Yes."

"How are you feeling, my brave volunteer?" Senator Rees sounded kind and
concerned, but Tam could see through it. Under the surface he was warning
her to play it cool or else.

"I think I’m a little disoriented, but I’m sure that will pass. Just remind
me what is supposed to happen while I rest and recuperate."

"Doctor, I wasn’t able to fill her in on the details anyway. If you could
fill in the empty spaces I'm sure it would make the experience easier for
Tam."

"Well, long term stasis is never easy," Doctor Fedarish began. "I'm sure
that's why you have been the only Force-trained volunteer we have had.
Actually, you’re the only volunteer we've had, but I wouldn't...."

Tam stopped listening for the most part after that. A cold chill ran
through her when she heard long term stasis, stunned that the senator would
be so cruel. Death would almost be a better alternative, if rumors she had
heard were correct. A part of her mind listened and stored the information
the doctor told her, but thinking about being locked away within herself for
any period of time brought an uncontrolled terror to her. She wouldn't be
able to move at all, but she would still be aware of time passing and be
able to think.... What would it be like to want to breathe or blink and not
be able to? She used a Jedi calming technique to keep from showing how
bothered she was by this.

"I did ask that the volunteer be a Jedi because of the risks involved, but
the council turned me down due to a lack of interest. Of course, I'm sure
you all have more important things to do, it's just—"

"Doctor, I'm sure it was nothing personal," Tam assured him when she became
aware that he was expressing his hurt and frustration. "I must admit to
some reluctance, but I have decided to assist you in this, so there is no
point in holding a grudge. To be exiled from existence for such a length of
time is intimidating to anyone."

"Yes, I know. You have a way with words, young lady, and I do appreciate
your sacrifice in this endeavor."

"Think nothing of it." Tam smiled, but it was a half-hearted gesture on her
part.

"We should leave now, there are many preparations still to be made." Doctor
Fedarish turned to the door, expecting Senator Rees to follow.

Senator Rees waited until the doctor was outside before the smile on his
face became an evil looking smirk. Tam's eyes narrowed as the forbidden
anger washed over her, but it was accompanied by knowledge of her
helplessness that dampened rage with despair. No words were necessary
between the two adversaries, the situation was nearly resolved and the
senator was the only winner either could foresee.

"Just leave," Tam whispered, holding the door open for him with her
telekinetic power.

"Don't strain or upset yourself too much, dear," Senator Rees directed in
his most ingratiating voice for the benefit of the people in the hall.
"You'll need all your strength for the experiment."

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." The door shut too quickly after him,
almost catching his foot, as Tam released it. It was the only satisfaction
Tam could get without endangering her daughter's life.

~~~~~@~~~~~

Technicians took her vital information and calibrated the machinery that
would hold her frozen for however long it took. In just a few hours Tam was
lying down in a coffin-shaped box attached to many unusual devices she
couldn't recognize on a good day. They all smiled and thanked her for her
help, assuring her that what she did would be a great help to the scientific
and medical communities. The excitement they all felt was almost
contagious; making her wonder if her defeat was more of a victory on a
larger scale. She almost felt good by the time Doctor Fedarish approached
her again. "We are almost ready, in a few minutes we will need you to enter
the deepest trance state you can achieve. The initial discomfort will not
send your system into shock if you are successful; we have not had a high
success rate with creatures that could not approach the state of mind
necessary. That is, of course, why we asked the Jedi for a volunteer, but
that was in the initial report."

"I was never given that report."

"What? I thought Senator Rees said, quite clearly—"

"Where is Senator Rees right now?"

"Why?"

"I just need to know."

"He had to stay in our waiting room, official personnel only are allowed in
here. If someone that didn't know what was what accidentally tripped over
the wrong wire—"

"I understand." Tam almost smiled, then thought of another question. "Can
he hear what is going on in here?"

"No, we never saw the need to put listening devices in the waiting room. If
something went wrong we didn't want to panic any family members that might
be in there." Tam could feel his confusion flowing through the air between
them. "If this makes you uncomfortable, I'm sorry, but there is nothing I
can do about that at this time."

"No. I need to tell you something without his hearing. I want you to know
the truth."

"Are you going to change your mind?"

"Yes, but not in the way you think. I want to go through with this, but
when I arrived here I didn't have any idea what was going on. Senator Rees
has lied to you all, you must believe me. He took me here against my will,
threatening someone I love to keep me from fighting him."

"The senator has been our strongest supporter, he has kept us going despite
many setbacks we have suffered. I find it hard to believe what you are
telling me."

"I am a Jedi, why would I lie? I have nothing to gain from this, but
Senator Rees does. I won't ask you to stop this, what you are doing here is
good and may serve a greater purpose than my life alone could do. He only
wants to get rid of me without killing me in a way the rest of the Jedi
would connect to him. I am a hindrance he wants to put away for a time. If
you can get a message to Master Yoda so that he will know the truth it could
prevent much needless suffering for others that might justly stand in the
senator's way."

"I will look into what you have said, but I can promise nothing."

"That will have to be good enough. Do what you feel is right, I would not
ask anything else from anyone."

"We should stop this, it isn't right to hold you—"

"No. If Rees suspects anything he will kill my daughter. He will demand to
see me in stasis, I'm sure. Sometimes what is perceived as a setback
initially is a greater boon in the end. I give my consent to be used in
this experiment, there is no better way."

"Thank you. This is my life work, and I could not stand to put it off any
longer. I will bring you out as soon as I can, that way if the senator has
deceived us all you can put an end to it sooner. May the Force be with you,
Tam Chronin. You must prepare yourself now."

Tam closed her eyes, feeling better than she had since Voron's death. She
had done all she could, that would have to be enough. She began slowing
down her vital functions to the point that even the best medic droid would
be hard pressed to prove she was still alive. It was the deepest she had
ever had to go, but it felt so right that it was easier than any trance she
had done before. Peace was her guide as she trusted in the Force to lead
her to the state she needed to be.

The activity in the room increased, as well as the excitement in all the
people who had spent so many years perfecting the stasis chamber. One of
them announced, "She has reached optimum trance state, it is time." There
was much cheering among those gathered. "Close the chamber on my mark...
four...three...two..."

The outer doors exploded open, freezing the scientists in shock. The dark
figure that walked in seemed to bounce every stare away, no one could keep
their eyes on it long enough to know what it looked like. In one swift
movement it shot Tam with a blaster and walked out. No one could react at
all, and a moment later the stasis chamber hissed closed on the injured
apprentice.

A LIFE

Doctor Fedarish looked on in horror while his life work stood amid chaos he
had never imagined possible there. The stasis generator began its cycle,
unaware in its machine simplicity that the person in its chamber could never
survive the process. The oppressive silence shared by his colleagues was as
intense as the cheering had been only seconds before. It was almost a
collective mourning for the one brave soul willing to help them, out of an
entire galaxy.

Doctor Modarr, in charge of monitoring life signs, sighed in heavy
disappointment. "The blaster damage is grave, I don't know that we could be
of any assistance even if we could abort at this stage. The subject's
trance was too heavy to allow for regular readings at this juncture, but I
feel certain she will be dead soon."

There was another long pause as the machinery continued its operation.
Someone commented quietly, "At least none of the equipment was damaged. If
we ever get another chance...." No one paid any attention as the voice
trailed off. Doctor Fedarish turned to his assistant and instructed her to
tell the senator the bad news. People began to filter out, hopeless to find
a miracle. Within less than ten minutes Doctor Fedarish was alone with the
body of the former Jedi apprentice.

The process of placing such delicate humanoids in stasis was risky at best;
the one they had been working at was so dangerous at the initial stage that
only a Jedi had even a chance under optimum conditions. It had to be harsh
to prepare the body for a longer period in stasis than could be survived
using current technology. If stasis could be achieved the body would remain
in prime condition for at least a millennia according to conservative
estimates.

Out of habit Doctor Fedarish scanned the readouts, expecting the automatic
shut-off to kick in as soon as she was confirmed dead by the delicate
sensors. Instead he found the next part of the cycle was being initiated,
reporting damage to the subject but a high chance of survival despite that.
As he watched the chance of survival grew by another tenth of a percent. He
called Doctor Modarr, asking only that she join him in the stasis room.
While he waited the chances inexplicably grew by five hundredths of a
percent.

"Doctor Fedarish, I presume you want my assistance in disposing—"

"Get in here and be quiet. Look at this number and tell me what is wrong."
She did as she was told, and when the expression on her face changed to
surprised awe he held a finger up to silence her. "I suspect a malfunction,
can you confirm?" His voice was grave, but on the terminal before them he
had typed an entirely different message. I AM WARY OF PLAIN SPEECH WITH THE
DOOR DESTROYED. SHE MAY LIVE, BUT IF ANYONE ELSE THINKS SO SHE MAY DRAW
ANOTHER ATTACK. TELL ME THERE IS A MALFUNCTION, BUT TYPE THE TRUTH.

"It must be wrong, perhaps some systems were damaged in the attack." IT
CAN'T BE WRONG, BUT IT CAN'T BE RIGHT. NO ONE COULD

"Of course. We can't disconnect the chamber itself without damaging the
equipment, but once it is stable we must remove the damaged chamber. It
will be of no use to us, and maybe we could bury her in it as a tribute." I
KNOW IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE, BUT NEVERTHELESS IT IS HAPPENING BEFORE OUR EYES.
WE NEED TO GET HER OUT OF HERE AS SOON AS IT IS SAFE IF SHE SRUVIVES THE
REST.

"It is only fitting. I will stay and watch, you look tired. I'll let you
know as soon as we can safely disconnect." MAKE PREPARATIONS TO GET HER
AWAY FROM HERE. I HAVE A FEELING SHE WILL SURVIVE SOMEHOW. THE INJURIES
ARE SLOWLY REGENERATING IF I READ THIS RIGHT. I WILL GUARD THIS FROM ALL
OTHERS.

"I am tired. Maybe I'll take a vacation, get this most recent failure out
of my system before I go on with my work. I'll be in my room looking at
likely planets or sleeping by the time this is done. Don't work too hard."

They shook hands and Doctor Modarr sat down and programmed the rest of the
monitors to look as if the patient were dead, but the machines just hadn't
received the command to shut down. Senator Rees walked in at one point and
gave his last respects, then announced that he would be leaving the planet
since there was nothing more he could do there. Hours later Modarr called
Fedarish to let him know it was time.

"Has the senator left yet," he asked as soon as he walked in the room.

"Yes. About five minutes ago his ship left orbit to go back to Coruscant,
why?"

"Perfect. I have found information that puts him in the worst light in this
matter. He was the only one that could have orchestrated this disaster, and
with him gone I feel much safer."

"He came in here for a while, should I have stopped him?"

"No, that would have looked suspicious. I just want to get out of here
quickly and never look back if you don't mind."

"I must agree. I have a bad feeling about all of this. The sooner we get
the three of us off this rock the better I will feel."

They began the process of disconnecting the stasis chamber from the rest of
the machinery, working as quickly as they could with only two people. At
one point Doctor Modarr stopped and took a deep breath.

"I took a reading of her regenerative rate, to give an estimate on her
survival chances."

"What did you come up with?"

"Even though there shouldn’t be any change while in stasis she is healing,
but not aging. After a time she will be able to leave the chamber without
dropping dead if the regeneration continues, but not any time soon."

"How long?"

"I'm sorry, but at least a century. After that she will survive if given
medical attention. No sooner than that."

"She'll never be able to testify against the senator, and without her I
don't have a case against him. We will have to be patient, and hope we can
catch him when he does mess up. I feel I owe her that much, even if there
is nothing we can do for her but hide her where he will never find her."

They finished the job, carrying the stasis chamber to Modarr's personal ship
and leaving in silence. When they cleared the atmosphere they looked back
at the huge facility one last time only to find a growing mushroom cloud
where it should have been. As one they gasped, thinking of how narrow their
escape had been. With grim determination they made the jump to hyperspace,
and silently vowed to see the senator's career go up the same way some day.

~~~~~@~~~~~

Tam felt a pressure fall upon her chest, but before the pain could reach her
she no longer felt connected to her body's nervous system. In fact, she
only felt connected to her body in a way that can't be described by anyone
who hasn't been through the experience. She felt an extreme imperative to
heal herself, but the signals weren't coming through the way she was used
to. Almost as an afterthought she used the force to heal her body without
bothering to wonder why. It was hard to think clearly, hard to concentrate
on anything, as if she would fall into a sleep deeper than anything. In a
nearly dream-like state she reviewed her life.

Her first thoughts centered on love. The love of her parents, Perrin and
Tamal Chronin, both dedicated Jedi Knights and among the strongest Jedi that
ever lived. Even though they didn't raise her after she was old enough to
begin training they still showed her the strength of their caring when their
paths crossed. Master Yoda was more of a father figure to her, he had taken
her under his wing right away. She spent more time with him than anyone
else, basking in his wisdom and deep love of all things good. Though he was
nearing eight hundred years old he still had the energy to teach her
everything she needed to know to defend the innocent from the forces of
darkness. His size and ancient appearance went unnoticed to her eyes most
of the time, when she had begun training under him they had been almost
equal in height and it had helped her bond to him quickly.

To her Yoda was just the way he was, and it only mattered that he was short
when she had to compensate for it in their lightsaber duels. He was the
greatest being in the universe in her eyes, and it didn't occur to her to
think otherwise. He was patient and understanding, stern and determined,
well respected by all. She couldn't have wished for a better mentor, and
everyone knew it including her.

Yet there was one love that shone above all else, one love that made her
life complete. Voron Rees had been the fairy tale love of her life come
true. He was handsome and honest, kind and well respected. The first time
their eyes met they had both felt something powerful pass between them,
something binding them together that they couldn't fight. It wasn't until
weeks had passed that they had a chance to speak to each other, but it had
been unforgettable nevertheless.

The power of the memory was strong, causing her to vividly remember every
detail of their meeting. As part of her training she was sent with Master
Janak Torai to defend the Rees family from an assassin. The senator had
received a threat and later that day had been lucky to escape when an out of
control transport had rammed his personal shuttle. She recognized Voron
when they stepped in the door of their elaborate home. They smiled shyly at
each other, but there were too many other people around.

"Welcome, Jedi Knights. I am Senator Kargoth Rees, and this is my wife
Sholal and my son Voron. Thank you for your assistance, we didn't expect
such a quick response."

"When we heard about your brush with sudden death we had to come, that is
one of our duties. I am Janak Torai, and this is Tam Chronin. Tam is an
apprentice, so she will be learning while we are protecting you."

"Yes, I was wondering why we would need two of you for this, but that makes
sense. We have rooms ready for you, if you will follow me."

Tam and Voron lagged behind, each one hesitant to be the first one to speak.
Finally Voron broke the silence. "Didn't I see you a while back outside
the senate chambers? You were standing with Senator Organa and that old
Jedi, right?"

"Yes, that was me with Master Yoda and Tallia Organa. Part of my training
is in diplomacy, and the Organas have been—"

"I know, I know, they have been my family's rivals for generations.
Alderaan seems to favor that family greatly, but the same can be said for
many Senators in the Republic."

"It makes one wonder if political skill is genetic." She smiled, looking
shyly into his green eyes. He was gazing at her intently, and she quickly
looked away again.

A small laugh escaped his lips. "It's much more a matter of conditioning,
or else I would not have to suffer the attentions of so many tutors."

The group stopped in the middle of a hallway where two doors faced each
other. "Both rooms are spacious, I hope they will be adequate for your
needs." Sholal smiled, showing Janak her room first. Voron offered to show
Tam her room and make sure she approved, and Sholal smiled at her son's good
manners. "Thank you, that would be most helpful."

"Here, they aren't much, but they'll do for a temporary stay."

When the door opened Tam gasped. "I have never been invited to partake of
such opulence. It's beautiful! Look at the view out these windows!"

She heard Voron laugh behind her. "I've never seen anyone from Coruscant so
thrilled with rooms like these. You do honor to my home, but I must admit I
didn't expect this kind of a reaction."

"Oh, am I making a fool of myself? Showing myself to be a simple person? I
would have to remind you of my status—"

"No, it's nothing like that. I just thought, well, I guess I didn't think
about it. You really like it?"

"Well, yes, shouldn't I?"

"I'm glad you do, but you should see my rooms. Or maybe you shouldn't, you
might refuse to help us unless you could stay there instead."

Tam's eyes grew large in innocent denial. "Oh no, such things don't matter
to Jedi. I would do my duty if I had to sleep on a mattress on the floor in
a plain windowless room. Appearances and comfort are secondary when life is
concerned."

"How old are you? If any of my friends talked like that I'd wonder if they
were possessed by something."

"That's what separates the Jedi from the rest of the galaxy, I suspect. I’m
twenty standard years, old enough to understand some of the basic teachings
I would hope."

"Wow, you're three years younger than me and most of my friends, but you
talk like you've been around for centuries."

"I'll try to refrain myself," she allowed wryly.

"No, I like it. It makes you special." His voice was soft, without his
usual teasing, and the look they shared filled a silence neither one could
measure. "Well, I'll tell my mom you have graciously accepted our humble
accommodations and leave you to settle in. Should I send a droid up with
your stuff?"

"I don't have that much, it wouldn't be much trouble to get it myself."

"As you wish, it's good to give the droids a break once in a while," he
teased.

He left her alone then, and it was several minutes before she moved from the
spot she occupied. The first touch of romantic love, no matter what the
consequences would be, it was still a bright light that made everything
worthwhile.

THE NEXT STEP

Doctor Modarr glanced at the display screen, not sure what to do next.
Senator Rees had been exposed as the corrupt politician he was, but there
was so much more. Doctor Fedarish and Doctor Modarr had hidden the young
Jedi girl years ago, neither one knowing how hard the road ahead would be.
"This should be a day of triumph," she told herself. "We finally won."

She tried to smile, but an instant later tears began to run down her face.
It was hard to know what to do, where to go from here. There were more
twists and turns to the plots they had uncovered than shipping lanes around
Coruscant. One devious plan they had unearthed had left Modarr working by
herself for about a year while Fedarish recovered in a hospital room. He
still hadn't completely recovered, and now things looked worse. Could his
weakened body handle the strain of hunting their next adversary? Modarr
didn't think so, but Fedarish would't agree. They had a patient to look
after who was in a life or death situation, and they were trying to save her
even if the methods were unorthodox. He thought of Rees as a disease that
needed eliminated before their patient could be safe. Modarr was afraid to
give him the bad news.

"Doctor Modarr, I just heard the good news." It was Doctor Fedarish, as if
thinking about him had conjured his voice over the comlink. "Before we
leave we should celebrate, right?"

"I think you should come down here, there's something you should see."

"What? We've won, what more is there to see?"

"The virus has mutated, Doctor. How fast can you come here?"

There were a few minutes of silence. "How bad is it?"

"Her life is still in danger."

His response was loud and violent and went on for longer than Modarr wanted
to hear. It was followed by a few more minutes of silence and then the door
opened behind her. "I have a bad feeling about this, like we'll be at this
for the rest of our lives. Very well, show me what you have and we'll go
from there."

~~~~~@~~~~~

Tam faded in and out of her recollections, unable to judge the passage of
time the way she thought she should be able to. What seemed like a few
hours later she let stronger, more intense memories flood her awareness.
The Rees family went about their business as if nothing had changed, and the
Jedi protected them. Tam learned a lot about politics from a new
perspective, and Master Janak made sure Tam practiced her defensive
techniques. The Force was her guide every moment of every day while they
waited for the next shoe to drop.

Voron grew friendlier by the day, and Tam was charmed by his gracious
manner. One night the Senator and his wife were invited to attend a social
gathering and Voron wanted to go out with some friends, so Master Janak sent
Tam with the young man while Janak watched his parents. It was Tam's first
chance to spend time with Voron without someone nearby to make sure they
behaved themselves. It was also Tam's first chance to be friends with
people her own age among the planet's elite. They treated her with respect,
awed at first, and then they loosened up and treated her like one of the
group after a while. They went to a live play, a luxury Tam had never been
able to attend in the past, and she was enchanted. The music was
captivating, the people on the stage were perfect for the roles they played,
and there was an energy to the entire performance that anything recorded
couldn't capture. Tam felt herself pulled in to the strange world of the
play, relaxing and enjoying the moment along with the rest of the audience.

The group left their booth laughing, and Tam almost missed the menacing
figure of an assassin droid across the hallway. At the last moment she
pulled out her deep blue lightsaber and deflected the blaster bolt headed
for Voron's head. Before anyone else could move the droid was in two pieces
and Tam was across the hall extinguishing her blade. Tam knew the rest of
the night was ruined, the mood shattered the same instant the blaster bolt
had been fired. When the officials took over the investigation and Tam
could return her attention to the rest of the world Voron was the only one
left. The others had gone home or somewhere else, shaken by the brush with
disaster. In silence Tam and Voron went back to his home, hours before his
parents would return home.

When they walked in Voron stopped her. "You saved my life."

"Of course, that's why I'm here." She smiled. "That's why I'll be here
until we can find out who is behind this."

"I guess I never really thought my life could be in danger. Dad's I could
believe, but not mine. Why would they come after me?"

"I don't know. I'm a diplomat, not a politician." They laughed, knowing
what a difference that could make. It wasn't much of a laugh, and in a
moment the heavy mood settled around them again. "I really don't know. The
only reason I could even think of for killing another is in defense, and
even then if there is no other option."

"That's not the same, is it?"

"No, murder takes something I don't think I could ever have. I've been
trained to follow the light side of the force since the day I was born, and
even the thought of something so dark is too much for me."

He hesitated for a moment, looking at her in a new light. "Have you ever
had to kill someone; a person, another sentient, in defense?"

"Only once, when I was sent on a mission on another planet. I didn't
hesitate once I knew I had no choice, but I still—I wouldn't be here on this
mission unless they knew I could handle all of the duties it might entail.
Jedi don't like killing, but we must be prepared for the chance we might
have to."

"Oh." He was thoughtful for a few more minutes. "Are we safe here, now?"

She stretched out her awareness, thought about it before answering. "Yes,
neither one of us are in danger for the time being. I'll keep a vigil until
the others return, but we should be fine."

"I don't think I could sleep after that, but thank you. Could you keep me
company until then?" She could hear him thinking at her, don't go to bed,
stay where I know we'll both be safe, stay with me.

"I'm not going anywhere," she assured him as she strengthened her shields
against his thoughts. What would he think, how paranoid would he be if he
knew how easy it was to read those kinds of surface impressions? "Why don't
we sit here and talk about ourselves? It will offer a distraction at
least."

Talk didn't last long between them, before very long she was looking around
at his bedroom and thinking of how beautiful a room could be. Soon after
that she was incapable of coherent thought as rapture filled her world. By
the time the sun rose through the window that was the east wall of his room
neither one could doubt the love that consumed each for the other.

UNFRIENDLY FACES

Doctor Modarr was alone now. Fedarish's funeral was over and she was the
only one with the secret of the young Jedi girl's location. She was staring
at the tube that held the girl's body and the box containing the personal
effects of Tam Chronin, Jedi Padawan. "Start recording: I am Doctor
Modarr, one of the team of scientists responsible for the condition of the
young Jedi you see before you. We were attempting to perfect a long-term
stasis chamber for terminal patients whose ailments may be treated with
breakthroughs not yet made. Our focus was to alter the time sense of those
patients to the point where a year would seem like only a week subjective
time and reduce psychosis associated with other methods of induced stasis.
The first experiment with a sentient being was sabotaged, but we managed to
sneak the subject out before the laboratory was destroyed. All the notes I
could gather are included, as well as a recording of what happened when we
attempted to place the subject in stasis. In the years that have passed
Doctor Fedarish and I have attempted to keep her safe and discover why she
was targeted for death. It at first appeared to be a matter of revenge by a
corrupt senator, but I fear I have uncovered something more that she may or
may not have known about. I am on my way to tell the Jedi Council as we
perhaps should have in the first place, but for some reason Doctor Fedarish
was hesitant to approach them. Now that he is dead I feel I must make my
own decisions; that is why I am taking this step now. I hope it is one of
the members of the Council that hears this next, but if anything goes wrong
I must trust whoever stumbles across this to go to them for me.

"Her name is Tam Chronin, and from what I have been able to learn she was
Master Yoda's Padawan, or apprentice. Her daughter, Cshanil Chronin-Rees,
has been taken in by the Jedi as an apprentice also; the Force seems to be
strong in their family. I am afraid her daughter will never know her
though, because of the injuries sustained by Tam. If Tam is removed from
stasis within the next century she will die. I was amazed to note that she
is able to heal herself with her Jedi powers while in stasis, but it is
taking quite some time. Her injuries would have been fatal to anyone
without her training I am sure; given time I hope she would recover if given
the proper medical treatment. My estimates of a century may be
conservative, but the longer she has to recover the better her chances will
be.

"The other files have more detailed information. I hope that you, whoever
finds this, will put the information contained here to good use. Good luck,
and may the Force be with you."

Doctor Modarr closed the secret lab down with a heavy heart, never expecting
to be back. She took one last look at the young lady in the stasis tube and
sighed. Tam's clothes were burned, the flesh beneath was barely better than
the day of the experiment. Her expression was peaceful and her skin looked
somehow younger than that fateful day. There were no lines on her face,
they had all been smoothed out over time, which was why she looked younger.
The clothes weren't hers, so that wasn't a problem. She should have
something to wear in a century or so. In fact the only personal effect that
was on her was a strange necklace. Modarr looked closer and noted that it
had an alien recording device, probably for sentiments given by the one who
gave it. Looking closer she noted that it hadn't been damaged and smiled.
Maybe it was from the father of Tam's child, given as a keepsake from one
lover to another. With a melancholy smile she turned away and shut down the
lights.

~~~~~@~~~~~

Coruscant was constantly changing, but it was always the same. That is,
progress left its mark but after a certain point it couldn't change the fact
that the entire planet was a massive city and there wasn't much room for
growth. Atmosphere could only contain so many levels, gravity could only be
battled so high, and there wasn't much land left to be built on. Modarr
looked around and remembered a building here and there that had vanished for
the benefit of a newer and better style, but the major landmarks were the
same. The Senate Chambers still stood as tall as ever, the Jedi Temple was
still over there, and her favorite restaurant was still in business. She
decided to stop there first, as she always had when she landed on Coruscant.
It would settle her nerves and give her more of a chance to go over what
she was going to say. As she walked in she ran into one of her informants
and he offered to buy her dinner. They sat down in a secluded booth and
began to talk.

"I had hoped you would come here. I have more information on our dark
stranger."

"The one who shot the Jedi? Or the shadowy figure masterminding
everything?"

"Both. It seems they may be one and the same. I can't tell you any more
here, let's eat and then you must come with me."

"I had something else I was going to do first. Can it wait?"

"No. The only reason it can wait while we eat is I don't want to look
suspicious. I really can't say any more about this here. You'll just have
to trust me."

The rest of the meal was tense; Modarr barely tasted her food as it went
down. Her friend looked nervous and on edge, and he kept looking over his
shoulder. When they finished they went to a nice neighborhood and walked up
to the apartments of a man everybody knew. The door opened and they walked
quickly into the sitting room. "I'm sorry Doctor." Her friend edged away
from her and as a figure in a dark cloak approached he quickly left the
room.

"What's going on around here?" Modarr was confused and frightened, there
was something going on that she had no idea how to handle.

The shadowy figure spoke in a soft voice, quietly but clearly. "You have
touched upon things you should never have looked into. I'm afraid I can not
allow you to report to the Jedi about this matter."

"You're going to kill me, aren't you?"

"Yes. It can't be helped at this point, if you continue you will know too
much and I can't let that happen. I gave you the chance to quit when your
friend died, but you have clearly been doing more searching since then. Why
did you disappear after the funeral?"

She didn't answer, but she couldn't help herself from thinking Tam's name
and seeing her face as she had last seen it.

"Tam Chronin still lives? How can that be? Ah, the stasis chamber did
work...and she still has the necklace. Where is she hidden?"

"NO! I will not let you find that out!" Modarr charged at the figure, the
only thought on her mind was of killing him. He held out a hand and she
stopped against some sort of invisible wall. Her eyes widened and her
foremost thought was of the rumors of dark Jedi she had heard of. Fear
overcame her and she almost ran, but there was nowhere to run to. She
pulled out the small blaster she kept for emergencies, but it was soon
flying across the room. She was running out of hope of saving the driving
force behind all her actions for the past few years.

"Give up trying to resist me. I will find out what I want to know."

"I have found what I need to know, dark Jedi, and I'll never give you the
satisfaction."

"You have no idea what you have, and I will find what I need. You're
pathetic, Doctor, if you think you have anything on me. I am stronger than
you. I—"

Something clicked in her mind, something from legend she had uncovered in
her research. As she thought the name the figure stopped, enraged. "I do
have the knowledge you don't want me to have. I have the key, you filthy
Sith scum."

She felt her throat constrict as the dark figure's control slipped. She
knew she should regret that she would never be able to tell the Jedi this
important secret, but as she died she only felt satisfaction that the other
secret died with her. Tam Chronin was safe from the Sith.

~~~~~@~~~~~

Tam knew that something bad was happening in the world outside. Visions of
her friends calling her haunted her stronger thoughts. They were dead, part
of her knew, and now they were one with the Force, but it couldn't be. Not
enough time had passed for her parents to die of old age. Or her daughter.
Or her daughter's children. Every day her memories were interrupted by
another death, and it just didn't seem right. Finally she had some peace,
but the memory she had to relive wasn't peaceful at all.

Tam stood before the rising sun as it shone in Voron's window. Master Janak
Torai would know as soon as she stepped out of the room what had happened.
Tam had endangered both of them by her actions, she was supposed to be
protecting his life, not dallying and allowing herself to be distracted.
Voron stirred, reaching across the bed behind her. When he discovered that
his arms were still empty he sat up, searching. Quietly he walked over and
put his arms around her, comforting her and trying to reassure her without
words.

"It's no good. I have failed in my duties. I failed to maintain control."

"I'm here, you saved my life and I was in no danger after we went to bed.
Don't do this to yourself, it will kill me if you regret what we shared last
night."

Her eyes were still sad when she turned to him. "I don't regret it, and now
I have a conflict with my heart and with what I have been taught all these
years."

"Come over here. I love you and I can't stand to see this conflict in you.
You're going to leave, aren't you?"

"Hey, I thought I was the mind reader here." She offered a half smile
followed by a resigned shrug. "I have to leave. Master Janak will do a
better job without me; I'll be too distracted and emotionally involved. I
wouldn't be able to live with myself if I failed because I'm in love with
you."

"Will I see you again?"

"Yes. I won't let anyone keep us apart, but it will take some time. I
don't know when we will be together again."

"Then I want you to have this. It's a token of my trust in you, my father
gave me this necklace years ago and I want you to keep it with you always
until we see each other again. Keep it safe and keep it secret, it's
special."

"It looks recordable, is it?"

"Yes, but I'm not sure how to retrieve the message that's on it. My dad
said he would tell me the secret when I need to know, so that's why it's a
trust." He smiled and gave her a hug. "In other words, I'd better see you
again."

Tam attributed the feeling of dread at his words to the doubts she had of
trying to talk her way out of trouble with Master Yoda. No matter how she
looked at the situation her studies were about to be interrupted and he
wouldn't be happy about someone with her talent and promise losing any time
in studying at this point in training.

They both slept some more, and then gathered their courage to leave his
room. As luck would have it Senator Rees was walking past as the door
opened. Anger projected from him in waves, and the situation only got worse
from there. Rees was from a very conservative planet, in their culture Tam
and Voron had dishonored his home. Master Janak did her best to smooth over
the situation, but Tam had made an enemy for life in that instant.

The situation may have improved over time, but two things happened that
locked the hatred forever. While Senator Rees was conducting business a few
days later their home was blown up with his wife, Voron, Master Janak and
the house servants inside. There were no survivors. Voron's last words
were recorded by his father; it was a statement that he would marry Tam one
day even if his family disowned him.

The other thing was that Tam discovered that she was pregnant, and the only
one who could have been the father was Voron.

There were no more attempts on the Senator's life after the loss of his wife
and only child. He refused further aid from the Jedi, claiming they were
worse than useless. Tam did what she could to deal with the situation, but
Senator Rees began to seek custody the moment Cshanil was born. By the time
his granddaughter was two standard years old Tam had run out of defenses.
Then Tam wound up in stasis.

Stasis would have been better if she didn't have so many interruptions in
her recollections. This time Master Yoda himself came to her. He was
surprised to find her, he had looked for years. That wasn't possible, she
hadn't been here for years. She asked why there had been a sudden chorus of
screams a few days ago; it was too fast to understand what had happened.
The Empire had blown up Alderaan a few years ago. He told her he had died
of old age, had become one with the Force. Nonsense. He had at least a
good century and a half left to him, he was only seven hundred and
something. No, he was nine hundred, and in hiding from the Empire on a
swamp of all places. What Empire, she asked, I don't remember an Empire.

There was silence; he wasn't there anymore to answer her questions. Just
another dream, another side effect of the stasis. Tam slipped back into
darkness without being aware of the transition. There were other, less
important flickers within her awareness, hints of an impossible length of
time passing. Then there came another intrusion on her disjointed
awareness. She felt a strong sense of many presences becoming aware of her
and quickly coming to her. In what seemed to be a great rush there were
three people around her who were more powerful in the force than she knew
any being could be. One last time her awareness was cut off in the cycle
that had preserved her sanity, then she felt again the great pressure on her
chest followed by greater pain. Tam inhaled to let out a scream, and then
numbness quickly superceded that necessity.

Anakin Solo looked smugly at his big brother and sister. “I told you
someone was here, someone who needs us.”

Jaina looked at him and shrugged. “We never said we didn’t believe you
Anakin, I just couldn’t sense the same presence from where we were like I
can now.” She glanced at her twin brother for confirmation, but before he
said a word something changed.

“Wait, it just got very faint, like a machine cycling down. I wonder what
could cause that?” Jacen Solo looked at his twin sister with a look of
confusion, then understanding. “If that’s something that happens on a
regular basis, that would explain why no one has felt it before. Right?”

“I guess so, but why would it happen? Whoever it is is still alive, but
it’s like someone put a dimmer switch on a Jedi.”

The boys laughed at Jaina’s description, but it felt right somehow. That
feeling made them all more confused, and much more curious.

“Well, I still feel that the person needs our help. Let’s go and help
before we have to do more assignments.”

“Maybe we should tell Uncle Luke,” Jaina suggested.

“Not if we don’t want more chores and stuff,” Jacen protested, agreeing with
Anakin. “I swear, he doesn’t know how to have a real vacation.”

“Besides, it’s a further trip to go back to Anchorhead to tell him than it
would be to just go and look around. I know it doesn’t feel like there’s
anything urgent we need to do now, but if I were the one who needed help I
would want it sooner rather than later.” Anakin said that and then left,
set on doing things the way they made sense to him. The twins glanced at
each other and nodded, Anakin was right as usual, even if he was impatient.

It wasn’t far to the cave where they felt the person would be found. It was
well hidden, but the Force guided them when their eyes failed in the
suddenly darker chamber. An ancient control panel was imbedded in the rock
beside a door. Anakin looked at it, and had the door open in next to no
time.

The room they found looked like it hadn’t been disturbed in over a century.
It was a laboratory of some kind, but it had more of the feel of a tomb or
shrine. In the center, encased in a clear tube, was a girl that looked to
be around 20, Anakin’s age. Old style machines monitored her life signs and
counted down an unknown cycle. There were what looked like two work
stations, but any experiments or research that had been done had long since
been finished and cleared away. There wasn’t much dust, but the stale air
gave clue as to why. The room had been sealed and made airtight when the
last person had left, besides the girl.

“I found something,” Jaina announced, crouched in front of a cabinet. “It’s
a box with some things in it.”

“Well, open it,” Anakin demanded.

They gathered around to look at the items inside, curious to see what kind
of clue they would find. There wasn’t much; an old Jedi robe; a lightsaber;
and a holopicture of a little girl, an older Jedi couple, and an old Jedi
master the three knew was Yoda.

“She was an old Jedi. I wonder why she is here, like this.” Anakin
couldn’t stop himself from wondering about her while the other two looked
for more items. He wandered over to get a better look and saw that her
clothes were charred in the middle of her chest and the skin underneath
looked like it had been grazed by a blaster bolt. He looked closer,
examining her every detail in a daze.

“The date here indicates that she’s been in here over a century,” Jacen said
softly at one point. “Maybe even a century and a half.”

Anakin barely heard his brother; he had found some sort of strange looking
necklace on the girl. He reached forward, resting his hand on the cylinder.
Triggered by the touch, an older woman’s voice began to talk. “I am
Doctor Modarr, one of the team of scientists responsible for the condition
of the young Jedi you see before you….”

The three listened to the recording in silence. The message obviously never
got to the Jedi Council, and if her only child was a Jedi she was probably
killed when Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader tried to wipe out the order.
Any of her daughter’s descendants had probably been killed as well if the
Force was strong in her family.

“She doesn’t look old enough to have a Jedi child.” Anakin couldn’t believe
that someone so near his age would have a child that old.

“Maybe the recording was made years later, the child in the holo only looked
about two or younger.” His big sister scrunched her eyebrows together as
she tried to think of other reasons. Finally she shrugged, the answer was
either lost in history or the girl, Tam, would tell them if she woke up.

Jacen brushed off his hands, dusty from rummaging. “I think it’s time we
told Uncle Luke, so we can get this girl in a Bacta tank and healed as
quickly as possible.”

The others agreed, leaving everything as they found it and returning to the
landspeeder to go and report what they found.

~~~~~@~~~~~

Tam awoke again after a long time of immersion in a Bacta tank. They were
just pulling her out when weary awareness hit her. “Where am I?”

“The Jedi who found you decided to bring you back to Coruscant for
treatment. It was a wise precaution considering the condition you were in
when you were found.”

“I see. Who are you?”

“I am See-Threepio—“

“A protocol droid. Who sent you and why are you here?”

“Master Luke sent me to make sure you recovered comfortably and to assure
you that all was well and you are safe. You must rest now and regain your
strength.”

“Yes, I am a bit sleepy….”

Tam was asleep in an instant, reassured that she was finally safe. Strange
dreams made her toss and turn until a medical droid administered a light
sedative, then she was left alone in her hospital room until morning.

She woke up, aware of her surroundings, yet feeling strangely displaced.
The protocol droid had said she was back on Coruscant, and she could tell
vaguely that it was the same planet she had lived on her entire life, but
something felt off. She tried to reach out with the Force to figure out
what was wrong, but the effort left her drained with no real results. Tam
heard voices outside her door, then the door opened and an older man with
sandy brown hair and clear blue eyes walked in. He wore Jedi robes and
carried a lightsaber, but it was no one she had known during her training.

“Hi, how are you doing this morning?” The strange Jedi smiled, shedding
years off his wizened face. Tam found herself smiling back, at ease with
the older man.

“Tired, disoriented, weak, but unhurt. I know that when I woke up I was in
a great deal of pain at first, but I assume I was given immediate medical
attention. I’m glad to be back home, when can I go back to the Temple?”

“You will be here for another day or so, to make sure you are fully healed,
but I’m afraid it will be impossible for you to go back to the Jedi
Temple.”

“If it’s because of what Master Yoda said—“

“You knew Master Yoda?”

“Yes.” Tam blinked a few times, trying to digest the implications of what
he had said. “He is my master, he sent me away to get my mind in order
after…you don’t know what happened, do you. You can’t be a Jedi; I knew
every single one. Is this a trick by the senator?” Tam winced, holding her
head as the fear made her head hurt.

“No, you have been in stasis for a very long time. My niece and nephews
found you in the desert wasteland of Tatooine, it was sheer luck that you
were found at all. I grew up not too far from where you were hidden, but
never found the cave where you were.”

“I don’t understand. How long was I in stasis?”

“Over 100 years, but probably less than 150. Many things have changed since
then, many things that I think would surprise you greatly.”

“Who are you?” Tam was still wary, but there was something about him that
made her feel at peace despite being unable to use the Force.

“I am Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. Don’t worry, you’re control of the Force
will return to you with time and practice. Take my word for it, you will be
safe here.”

Master Skywalker, why can’t I return to the Temple?”

“The Temple here on Coruscant was demolished a long time ago, and the Jedi
were hunted down and nearly all were killed.”

“But we were the protectors of the Republic! How could that have happened?”

“The Republic was taken over by a corrupt Senator, and he became Emperor.
His assistant, a Sith lord named Darth Vader, helped him wipe out anything
that could have been a threat to his power.”

“Yes, I can see how the Jedi would be a threat to that. I don’t understand
how the Sith could be involved, they were wiped out long ago, tripped up by
their own evil. At least that’s what I had been taught.”

“Somehow their kind survived. There is always evil in the galaxy; if it
hadn’t been the Sith it would have been some other menace. That is the
nature of the dark side.”

“Yes, we had been seeing signs of a growing corruption in my day, but I
thought we would have held out longer or something….”

Master Skywalker shifted his position and changed the subject. “That’s
enough of a history lesson for today. You will have plenty of time to catch
up on events while you recover your strength.”

“Wait, I want to know one more thing. I assume from the way you have been
talking that something of the Republic has survived, but what of the Jedi?
How has the order fared?”

“Yes, we have a New Republic and the Empire has been nearly eradicated.
There are still those who fight in the name of the Empire, but they are
scattered now. Unfortunately, during the time the Emperor was in power many
of the Jedi teachings were lost forever. We have sought out what little we
can, but we have had to rebuild the order without many of the old ways.”

“Thank you. I’ll probably be lost if I am allowed to continue my training,
but this may be the kind of distancing from my problems I need.”

“We’ll talk about your training later when you have had time to adjust. I
have things to attend to right now, but I will be back. If you want company
I know some people who would like to meet you, but if you need some time
alone….”

“No, I have spent too much time alone and I miss interacting with people. I
would be grateful for some company.”

“I’ll send them in when I leave. First I would like to do something….” He
reached for her and brushed his fingers against her temple. Her headache
subsided at his touch and he smiled reassuringly. “You were using the Force
to heal yourself the entire time you were in stasis. It may have kept your
abilities intact, but you are worn out from the sustained effort. Don’t try
anything strenuous for a few days, and don’t push yourself until I tell you
that you are ready.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t think I’ll do much of anything until I’ve had some
rest. I don’t want another headache.”

He smiled and left. Not long after that three people walked in. There were
two young men and a young woman, near Tam’s age, and they all looked
related. In fact, they looked like they could be related to Master
Skywalker, the youngest man had the same bright blue eyes.

“You must be Master Skywalker’s friends, right?”

“Well, yes and no. He’s our uncle and our teacher, but I guess we’re
friendly on top of that. I’m Anakin Solo, and these are my big brother and
sister, Jacen and Jaina.”

Tam nodded at each, smiling and feeling a kind of kinship with each. “So
are you all Padawans like me, or are you Jedi knights already?”

“What was that word? Padawan?”

“It’s an apprentice, a young student before the Trials. You don’t use that
word anymore?”

Anakin shook his head. “I’ve never heard that word before, it must be an
old term that was lost way back when.”

“Oh, I really have missed a lot, I guess. It only felt like a little over a
year to me, but everything has changed so much.”

Jaina shook her head in sympathy. “I can’t imagine what it would have been
like. Our dad was frozen in carbonite for a few months, but that’s nothing
compared to this.”

“Dad doesn’t talk about it much, but he said that it was really rough and a
lot had changed and caught him off guard. Mom said it changed him a lot, in
ways she hadn’t expected.” Jacen smiled slightly and moved to pat Tam on
the shoulder.

“It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I was dreamy most of the time,
like I was disconnected from reality most of the time. I’d feel stirrings
in the Force, flashes of faces when someone I cared about died. I even had
a confused conversation with Master Yoda when he became one with the Force,
but I didn’t understand what was happening. Most of the time I spent in
introspection, reliving mistakes and taking comfort in the happy times. It
was almost comfortable until I was revived.”

“What about the blaster wound?” Anakin wanted to know. “Didn’t that bother
you?”

“Is that why I was in so much pain? I didn’t know about that, can you tell
me anything about it?”

Anakin nodded. “There was a recording that played when we found you. It
said you had been hit right before you went into stasis, but too late to
stop the experiment. I thought you would know, would have felt something
like that.”

“I remember some pressure right before the chamber closed, but I was in a
heavy trance at the time. I thought it was just part of the whole thing….”
Tam shook her head in wonder that she was still alive. “Did the recording
say anything else?”

“Yes, but we’ll let you listen to it and a few other things alone. It would
seem that the two head doctors took a personal interest in the whole matter
and did some investigation and made notes for when you were revived. We
haven’t heard all of the messages, but they should give you the information
you want.”

Tam looked into Anakin’s eyes as he talked and felt a stirring in the pit of
her stomach. Her heart beat faster and her head seemed lighter that it had
a few moments ago. She shook the feeling with difficulty by repeating to
herself: There is no passion; there is serenity. Soon she was able to think
straight again and go on with the conversation as long as she didn’t look
into those crystal blue eyes again.

“Tell me, is there any news of my daughter?”

Jaina smiled reassuringly. “Yes, Doctor Modarr said in the first recording
that your daughter had entered training to become a Jedi. We don’t have any
records of the time, so we can’t tell you what happened to her after that.”

“Good, I’m glad to hear her grandfather couldn’t take that away from her.”

“Why would he do a thing like that,” Anakin asked.

“Revenge against me. He was a powerful Senator and his son and I fell in
love. That would have been bad enough, but his son died and he blames me.”
Tam’s shoulders collapsed and her head bowed in remorse. “I can’t help but
blame myself as well. If I had had more self control, he wouldn’t….” Her
voice trailed off.

There was silence in the room as the others shared in her suffering. Jaina
came over and gave her a hug, trying to comfort and reassure her. Jacen was
only a moment behind his sister, and she backed away a bit, knowing he could
help Tam more and understand her situation better. Anakin took a step
forward and paused, torn. He wanted to be the one to comfort her, but he
wasn’t sure how and he knew that Jacen was better at that sort of thing. He
quickly buried a twinge of jealousy for his big brother, knowing that Jacen
couldn’t help being so understanding and glad that Jacen’s heart belonged to
someone else.

Tam gathered herself together slowly, realizing that all these people had
died so long ago that none of it mattered any more. She still missed Voron
and her daughter, but they were long gone and beyond her power to help.
“Thank you, I never got the chance to say goodbye in my heart. That’s why I
was away from the Jedi Temple in the first place, I was too distracted and
hurt to concentrate on my training.”

“I’m glad I could help,” Jacen said softly, standing up.

There was another pause in the conversation. Anakin couldn’t stand the
silence, so he asked a question that had been on his mind since they had
found her. “How is it that you’re so young, but you had a daughter old
enough to go to the Jedi Academy?”

“I was 21 when Cshanil was born, and she was just barely 2 when I went into
stasis. I didn’t plan on having a child that young, it was a matter of one
thing leading to another, then I found out her father was dead and three
days later realized I was carrying his child. I’m sure she was accepted
into the Jedi Academy less than two years after I disappeared, I could tell
long before then that she had the ability. Her midi-chlorian count when she
was a baby was quite high.”

“Her what?”

“Midi-chlorian.” She looked around and saw puzzled faces on her newest
friends. Sighing, she dredged up some of the most boring teachings she had
ever had to sit through. “Midi-chlorians are what give us the ability to
feel and use the force. They live in our cells in a symbiotic relationship
with us. Without them our abilities would be inaccessible to us and we
would be like everyone else. The more midi-chlorians we carry within us,
the greater our link to the force. I’m surprised you didn’t know that.”

“Many of the old teachings have been lost to us, including much of the
technology. How could you tell how high a person’s midi-chlorian count is?”
Anakin sat on the edge of the foot of her bed, leaning forward in his
curiosity.

“We had instruments that could measure it through a sample of blood, but I’m
not sure of the exact method or how to make a machine that would measure
it.” Tam shrugged, wishing she could be of more help.

Jacen stood suddenly, realizing the time. “Jaina and I have to go, I just
remembered we told an old friend that we’d stop by while we were here on
Coruscant.”

Jaina stood also, startled. “I almost forgot, and if we don’t leave we’ll
be late. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize we had been here so long. We’ll be
back later, I promise.”

Jacen paused in the doorway. “We will be back, as soon as we can arrnge
another visit. You won’t be lonely until then will you?”

Tam was trying to put on a brave face to tell him it was fine, but Anakin
spoke up first. “I’ll stay here, I said hi to all my friends already, so I
don’t have anywhere to be.”

Jacen smiled and waved. “See you later then, and don’t forget to get some
recovery time in Tam.” He and Jaina were gone, leaving Tam and Anakin alone
together.

They smiled at each other, kinda waiting for the other to talk first. Tam
shook her head in wonder suddenly and decided to talk first. “You know, I
don’t even know what questions to ask to find out all that’s changed
since….”

“Yah, I know what you mean. It’s a pity so much was destroyed when the
Emperor took power. At least then we could tell you what happened to some
of the people you knew.”

“I do know what happened to them, all of them. At one point or another they
all died, even Master Yoda. If I expected anyone to still be around it
would have been him. He was the closest thing I had to a father, and I
always thought he would out live me.”

“It’s strange to think you’re old enough to have known Yoda. Uncle Luke
told us how he died before we were born, but you don’t look any older than I
do.”

“How old are you?”

“Just barely 20, why?”

“Even just going by how old I feel, I’m almost three years older.”

Anakin laughed. “You don’t have enough lines on your face to pass as that
old. Maybe someone would think I’m three years older than you, not the
other way around.”

Great, yet another drawback to this whole stasis thing!

Anakin laughed again, easily picking up on her thought. “Aside from the
fact that you have to tack on nearly 150 years to your age now, and you
don’t look old enough to be a Jedi, what drawbacks?”

Tam gave him a dirty look. “As if those aren’t enough…the biggest one is
that my Force powers are drained. Sure, you can read my mind, but I
couldn’t read the mind of a Rodian in pain standing right in front of me.”

“I could tell. It must be frustrating, I know it would drive my crazy
considering how much I rely on the Force.”

“Exactly. I feel like I’ve been struck blind or deaf or something. I do
rely on the Force, that’s what I’ve been training to do all my life.”

“All your life? I didn’t start training until I was 11, and that’s younger
than anyone I know.”

“That old?!? I’ve never known anyone to start training that late in life.
My parents were both Jedi, so I did start a bit younger than those who
weren’t found right away, but five or six was on the border for acceptance.”

“Why so young?”

“If a potential Jedi is exposed to the Dark Side at a young age they have
more chance of turning. If a child was brought soon enough there was less
chance of that happening, and more time to school the emotions so that calm,
rational thought would be a more natural state of mind. It saved much
suffering and agonizing over the difficult decisions we must face.”

“I guess that makes sense, but that’s an important time to bond with your
family and develop your own individual personality. Family is important to
young children.”

“The Jedi were my family. I was loved very much and I do have a unique
personality. Sometimes a person’s family can be a corrupting influence
anyway. Not all families are good and loving, so it was a duty to save
Force sensitive children from something like that. I’ve met a person who
had slipped through the cracks and was actually hurt by their family and
twisted by that. It was necessary!”

“Fine. You feel that way, and I guess you feel strongly about it, but
things aren’t done like that any more. We don’t have the resources, the
teachers, or the right.” He looked hurt and a bit angry that she had yelled
at him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. Part of me wondered what it would be
like to know my parents better, but they were too busy all of the time. I
guess I’m a little bit jealous that you did get to know your family. I can
see it with your brother and sister, a bond that I never really got.” She
sighed and rested her head on the pillow behind her, trying to get her
emotions back under control.

His next words were said softly, his concern was almost a tactile caress.
“Did you have any brothers or sisters?”

Closing her eyes she nodded. “Yes, I had one of each. They were twins,
five years older than me and trained together. Their Masters didn’t want to
damage their link with the Force by severing their natural bond to each
other. I saw them around, we knew we were related, but they still had their
bond and I hardly knew them at all. I was too busy with training to miss
it, but when I saw how you related to your brother and sister, well…”

“Yah, they’re twins too.”

“I could tell. The names alone gave that away.” She smiled, sitting back
up. Of course, she looked right into his eyes as she did, sending her heart
fluttering again. She quickly looked away, fighting a blush when she saw
that he was looking directly into her eyes too.

He laughed, and she wasn’t sure what exactly he was laughing at until he
spoke. “I guess it would be obvious that they’re twins. Uncle Luke is my
mom’s twin brother, and they have matching names too, hers is Leia. It does
seem to be common, and a dead give away.”

“It does seem that way, even in my time. My brother and sister were named
Perrin and Perrad, after my father. I was named after my mother, but her
name was Tamal, and mine was shortened from that. It was a family custom I
didn’t mind breaking.”

“Your grandparents must have had really long names.” He said, trying not to
laugh.

Tam did laugh. “They did. I just couldn’t imagine naming my daughter Ta or
Vor.”

They both laughed too hard to speak for a few minutes. Tam felt them
growing closer with the shared laugh, something like the Force, but not
quite. She smiled at him fondly as the laughter faded away, it felt so good
to laugh, and she hadn’t had the urge to in much too long.

“You should get some rest,” Anakin said as he stood up. “I can feel you
getting tired after all that laughing.”

“It’s something I haven’t done in a long time.”

A teasing smile grew on his face. “I know, it’s been at least over a
hundred years.” They laughed again, though not as long this time. “You do
need your sleep. I’ll be back in the evening with Uncle Luke.”

“I’ll be looking forward to it,” Tam said, fighting hard not to yawn.
Anakin stood up to leave and Tam said softly, “thank you. I appreciated
your company.”

“I enjoyed talking to you too, Tam. I’ll see you later.”

Her heart skipped a beat as she watched him walk away. She thought of him
as she drifted to sleep.

NO RETURN

Tam smiled into huge planet looming overhead. It was strange to watch from
the moon she stepped out of the ship to. Still, at least it was no where
she had been before. She was glad to leave the planet that had once been
her home, too much had changed for her to feel comfortable. The Senate
building was the same, but nothing else was. Even the Jedi Temple that had
been her only home was long gone, destroyed by the same Emperor who had
destroyed the Jedi.

It was hard for Tam to accept all the changes calmly. It was too sudden and
too much for her to accept all at once. Luke Skywalker had listened to her
talking about it calmly, then smiled. “I have a suggestion. Come with me
to the new Jedi Temple on Yavin 4. You can meditate in peace there and
recover from all the shocks.”

“That might be a good idea. I’ve never heard of that place, so I won’t feel
so, um, shaken by any changes.”

He laughed. “You are the first person in I’ve talked to in years that
hasn’t even heard of Yavin 4. That, and it hasn’t changed much in the last
century or so except that there are people there now.”

“Oh. If it was uninhabited for so long that would explain why I never heard
of it. Most of my training was in combat and diplomacy, I paid more
attention to the more important planets involved in galactic politics from
my time. I even knew more about Corellia than most other Jedi because I
helped negotiations a couple of times trying to get them in the Republic.
Do you know how that turned out?”

He laughed again. “As a matter of fact, they joined a while later, just
before the Emperor took power. I know a lot of people who come from
Corellia, including my brother-in-law.”

“Good.” Tam smiled, glad to have been a part of that.

“Now, we have to work on your telekinesis, that seems to be your weak point
right now.” He pulled out a feather and she reached out with her mind,
confident that today she would have the control she did before. They spent
hours working on getting her strength and control back. Finally Luke
stopped and sat back, thinking.

“Master Skywalker, am I doing something wrong?”

“What?” He looked surprised “It’s not that at all. I was just thinking
about your potential once you are back up to full strength. Your training
was much different from the training any of the Jedi today received. We
won’t be able to offer you the same thing today that you had before.”

“Do you think that’s a danger to my training?”

“No, it’s not that. I want to think about it for a while, but you must be
willing to adapt.”

“Of course, Master Skywalker. I will do what I can.”

“I know you will. Do you think you’ll be well enough to go to Yavin 4
tomorrow?”

“No problem. Maybe I’ll make better progress away from here.” Tam smiled
with a look full of hope.

“Your progress so far has been astounding. How much better do you expect to
be by now?”

“Just wait until I am back at full strength.” Tam gave him a playful wink.

“I’m almost afraid to,” he admitted with a rare laugh. He patted her on the
shoulder and then left. Tam slipped quickly into a deep meditation, trying
to regain her touch with the Force.

~~~~~@~~~~~

She vividly recalled that conversation as she looked around and stared at
her new surroundings. Yavin 4 was beautiful, Tam was awed by the view of
the large planet that loomed over them. She had rarely seen such jungles in
her travels and was awed by the amount of green everywhere. That, and there
was a feeling of peace predominant in the area that she had only felt at the
old Jedi Temple. There were many Jedi there, all doing different tasks, but
with the same sense of peace and harmony as the general feeling.

“It wasn’t always like this,” Luke told her quietly. “Thousands of years
ago the Sith Lord Exar Kun, built the Temples here and invested a lot of his
evil energy in them. When I started the Jedi Academy here his ghost
attempted to seduce a few of my students and killed one.”

“I imagine it took some time to change the feel of the place.”

“It was all thanks to the students I have had. I’m proud of the Jedi we
have today.”

“If Jaina, Jacen and Anakin are any example I’d be proud too. I haven’t met
many Jedi who were that mature and responsible at their ages, but there they
are, all three Knights so soon. I know when I was Anakin’s age I wasn’t
able to handle it.”

“How old are you? I thought you were the same age.”

“No, I’m 23. When I was Anakin’s age I had, well, an incident with the
family I was protecting. I fell in love with their son and slept with him
when I shouldn’t have. His father discovered us and I was, um, reprimanded
and taken from the case. A week later the son and his mother died with the
Jedi Master I had been temporarily assigned to. A week after that I found
out I was pregnant.” They were both silent for a time. “Even then I felt
twice as old as I was. I can’t imagine why I would look younger.”

“I think I know why.” Jacen’s voice was coming from right behind them,
causing Tam to jump. “The prolonged stasis caused the slight wrinkles and
creases on your face to gradually even out. Your muscles were relaxed for a
very long time, even your hands have less creases than most people your age.
I just realized it when some of the lines started coming back.”

Tam’s hands went involuntarily to her face. She noticed what she was doing
and gave a short laugh. “I guess that was inevitable, no sense being vane
about it.” She smiled sheepishly, ducking her head while the two guys
laughed.

“Nothing that bad,” Jacen said. “I just noticed there was a slight
difference while we were flying back here. You still look younger than your
alleged 23 years.”

“Yah, and you act younger than your 22 years.” She stuck her tongue out at
him like she had seen his sister do so many times before over the past
month. They all shared another laugh, something Tam was growing accustomed
to since being around Jacen and Jaina. The twins had seemed to adopt her as
one of their own, treating her like family. Tam was surprised to realize
that it was just what she needed. She was happier than she had ever been.

“Uncle Luke, there’s a few things Kyp wanted to talk to you about. He was
asking about you when I was on my way back out here.”

“Sure, I have a few other things to do too, so I’ll probably be busy the
rest of the day. Would you help Tam settle in while I take care of things?”

Jacen nodded, smiling. “No problem.”

Luke walked away quickly, in a hurry to get everything done. Tam turned to
Jacen and smiled up at him. “Have you seen Anakin yet?”

“I talked to him while he was in between teaching classes. He’s one of the
best with a lightsaber, so there are a lot of Masters who ask him to help.
He told me to tell you he was sorry he had to leave so soon after you woke
up, but he didn’t want duties to pile up.”

“I knew that when he left. He’s silly.” She smiled and looked away, happy
that he would have thought to say anything.

“Yah, well, you’re just as silly when it comes to him. Don’t think Jaina
and I haven’t noticed.” His tone was teasing, but his eyes seemed to
explore her for a reaction.

“I’m that transparent? Oh, no.”

“Don’t worry, Jaina and I can keep a secret. Well, we can if you can.” He
gave her a quirky lop-sided grin and walked off toward the Temple. She
quickly followed, not sure how to take his last comment.

Jacen showed her around, telling her about the history of the place and what
each room was used for today. It was interesting, but she found herself
only listening with half an ear. Her mind kept straying to thoughts of
Anakin and what she would say to him when she saw him again. Jacen noticed,
but he didn’t say anything. No one was expected to remember everything from
their first tour anyway, so he didn’t push her.

At the end he took her back outside. “That would be everything, probably
more than you ever wanted to know about this place.”

Tam sensed the teasing tone in his voice and realized he knew just how much
attention she had really paid. “Oh no,” she decided to tease back. “I
found everything simply fascinating.” She covered her hand over her mouth
and gave a mock yawn.

“Sure, just as fascinating as you’ll find the Council meeting you’re going
to be subjected to.”

“Oh, no. Well, they can’t be as bad as they were when I was young. It took
thousands of years to perfect that level of—“

“Hi Anakin! We were just talking bad about Uncle Luke.”

“We were not,” Tam protested.

“He’s on the Council,” Jacen teased.

“I was just saying he couldn’t be nearly as bad as Master Yoda used to be,
that’s all.”

“Remember who trained him,” Anakin warned ominously.

“Hey, remember who trained me!” Tam glared at him for a second, then was
stunned. A vision hit her full on, derailing the laugh she had been about
to issue.

“Tam, are you okay?” Anakin stepped closer, reaching for her. She backed
away quickly before he could touch her, not trusting her control over her
thoughts and emotions to hold against being touched.

“I’m fine…I just,” she broke off, unsure of what to say. Jacen gave her a
puzzled glance, concern flowing from him through the Force. Tam shook her
head. “It was nothing, really.”

“Well, it ruined a perfectly good joke,” Jacen complained with a smile. His
attempt at humor fell flat, but he had gotten used to that as a teen-ager.
He shrugged, waiting for one of the others to restart the conversation.

Anakin finally spoke up. “So, how have you been progressing since I had to
leave?”

Tam gave him a wry smile. “I may be the only one who thinks so, but
disappointing. At least, I’m disappointed and your uncle thinks I’m doing
great.”

“If you push yourself too hard you could hold back your progress.”

Tam and Jacen exchanged a glance. “Funny, that’s exactly what your big
brother has been trying to tell me.” Jacen smiled triumphantly at the
caustic tone in Tam’s voice.

Anakin laughed. “Hey wait a minute! Since when are you and I supposed to
agree?”

“Only when we don’t know that the other one does.” Jacen smiled and then
looked away. “I have a few more things to do, people to see, things like
that. Could I leave you two alone for a while?”

Tam tried to keep the panicked look off of her face so that Anakin wouldn’t
get the wrong idea. Anakin shrugged. “Sure, we haven’t had any time alone
since she woke up.”

“Great. I’ll see you two around.”

“Yah, I’ll see you later….” Tam’s voice sounded weak to her own ears.

Silence greeted them as Jacen left, neither one sure how to start the
conversation. Finally Anakin broke the silence. “You’re doing better than
you give yourself credit for.”

“What?”

“You were mostly distracted, that’s why you felt like you weren’t making
much progress.”

“How would you know that?”

“You had a vision just now, and you weren’t expecting to be able to, so it
shocked you. Am I right?”

“Yes, but how—“

“I was waiting for that. Can I ask you what your vision was about?”

“That’s a little personal. Anyway, I haven’t had time to even think about
it.”

Anakin gestured over to an inviting grassy patch. They sat down and he
looked deep in her eyes. “Take the time to think about it, I think it’s
important.”

She started to shake her head, but something told her to bring the vision
back to her mind, recalling every vivid detail. She was still unwilling to
share, but the look in his eyes drove her to say something. “It was about
the future. We were both in it.”

“What else?”

Tam looked across at him questioningly. “Why is this so important to you?”

Anakin thought about it for a while. He took a deep breath and seemed to
come to a conclusion. “The first time I saw you, when you were still in
stasis, I had a strong feeling about you. It wasn’t a vision or anything,
just this feeling that you were important in some way. I couldn’t shake the
feeling, so I was thrilled when we had a chance to talk. The feeling grew
stronger, and when I left—” He broke off and looked off in the distance. “I
had a vision as soon as I stepped out the door. I realized that you are
important to me, but I don’t know why. When you had your vision I felt a
reverberation through the Force. I want to know why, I want to know what I
mean to you.”

“I just saw…something that felt like it had a deeper meaning that I can’t
know yet. You were falling and you reached for my hand. I grabbed you
close to me and realized it had been me that was falling. There was much
more to it, but it seems clouded. I can’t explain more than that.”

“Yes,” he murmured softly. “A feeling of danger without….” His voice
trailed off.

“Anakin? What do you think it means?”

“I wish I knew. Believe me Tam, I wish we both knew.”

~~~~~@~~~~~

Tam fell asleep that night with difficulty. She felt an intense need for
Anakin that kept her awake far longer than she had ever been kept awake in
that way. Visions of her friends and loved ones from long ago loomed behind
her eyelids and she somehow knew that Anakin’s presence could drive them
away. Clutching that thought firmly in her mental grasp she finally fell
asleep.

The dream was harrowing. Master Yoda was being chased to the far reaches of
the galaxy, finally settling in a swampy hovel and living his last years in
hiding. Master Janak stared with empty eyes while the room she was in was
consumed in the explosion that took her life. Voron looked sadly in the
distance, sad that he would never know in the waking world that he had a
daughter. Cshanil cried out, “There is no death, there is the force—but
where is my mother?”

Ghosts came and went, each with their lament or tragedy. Tam could only
watch in horror, as she knew she had been alive but helpless the entire
time. She tried to go to them, show them how to live. Show them that she
didn’t abandon them willingly. They looked through her as if she were the
one dead. She felt alone and helpless, nothing she could do to help them,
no way to let them know she was there.

She screamed in the dream, but none of the ghostly images even paused. “I
want to go back, I never wanted to leave you!” The words fell on deaf ears
and she began to cry. She became aware of someone else approaching. She
held her arms up in a protective manner, covering her face so she wouldn’t
see any more. “I can’t help you, I can’t help any of you.”

“Then I will help you.” It was Anakin’s voice. With fearful eyes she
looked up at him, afraid that he would ignore her too. He walked closer,
his movements deliberate.

“Can you hear me?”

“Yes. Come here, let me help you.” He opened his arms to her and she ran
to him.

Before she reached him she woke up. Gasping in the sudden darkness she sat
up on her bed and curled up with her head resting on her knees. Tam
realized that sleep wouldn’t come in the state she was in, her emotions were
running away with her at a quick pace. She grabbed a robe and threw it on,
deciding to go for a walk.

As she opened the door she saw Anakin standing there with one arm hovering
impotently in the air. “Are you all right?” He lowered his arm and took a
step in the room. “What happened to you?”

“I’m fine, I just—” She had been standing tall, but the dream hit her all
over again. Her shoulders slumped and her eyes filled with tears.

Anakin held his arms out to her and wrapped her up in a great hug. “Just
let it out, I’m here. Don’t worry, just let it out.” His voice was soft
and soothing, his arms were strong but gentle, and Tam clutched to him like
he was her last hope in this reality.

“I want to go home,” she sobbed. “I want to go back and—” Her voice became
unintelligible as her emotions overwhelmed her.

Anakin looked for a place where they both could sit, but the bed was the
only spot big enough for them. After a moment of thought he guided her over
to the bed and sat down with her on his lap. He held her like that for a
long time before she could regain control. She grew quiet for a time and he
knew she was almost ready to let it go.

“I’ll never see any of them again.” Tam’s voice was a hoarse whisper.
“They never knew what happened to me and I’ll never be able to tell them.
I’ll never—I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be dumping this on you.”

“Nonsense. I came here to help you, I knew you needed it. I’m glad I could
share this with you.” She smiled up at him and rested her head against his
chest. “You are right, Tam. There is no turning back, there is no return
to your yesterday. I wish that I could take you back there right now, just
so I could see you happy like you were earlier. I wish there was something
I could do.”

“You have helped. I don’t know what I would have done without you.” She
brought up a hand to smother a yawn, then glanced back up at him again. “I
would never have gotten sleepy again after that terrible dream without you
here.” She shuddered and then frowned. “I don’t know if I can get to
sleep, even after your help.”

“Sure you can. Here, I want you to lay down, rest your head on my lap.” He
scooted to the head of the bed and rested his back against the wall. “Now,
think about the stars above us and all around us. They are the same stars
that have been there for thousands or even millions of years. When they
“die” their raw materials explode out and send out dust that will become a
new star. They may change form or location, but they are essentially the
same stars that they were from the start. Some of the stars we would see
from outside tonight sent that light out thousands of years ago and it is
just now reaching us here. That light has been on an endless path here
since it left its source so long ago.” He looked upon her sleeping face and
reached out with the Force to turn the light off, leaning his head back with
a smile.

----------

I only have about half a chapter written after this...so this is it unless
someone can convince me that it's worth writing more. With the way the EU
is unfolding I'm not sure if I should...I mean, this is an EU AU, you know?
Or should I do a total rewrite of the last two chapters? hmmm...

Comments would be appreciated!