I stand on the balcony, looking out at the city before me. It is dark, the middle of the night, on what would have been an autumn evening on any other planet. But this is Coruscant, so the only way you know the season is changing is the drop in the temperature. And oh yeah the calendar. I sigh and take a gulp out of the hot cocoa in my hands, which now has grown cold, the autumn air leaching away it's heat.

"Can't sleep? Hmm?" questions a soft tenor voice from behind me. I jump, Obi-Wan, I think with a sigh, I didn't feel his presence, more proof on how preoccupied I've become. "Yeah, I guess I'm not sleepy." I hear myself say as I continue to gaze out at the city. I hear a few soft muffled step as Obi-Wan joins me at the wall.

"Chilly?" he asks.

"Yeah, I guess, " and wordlessly he reaches out to wrap me up in his cloak, arms wrapped around my waist.

"Better?" he murmurs in my ear.

I simply nod, not trusting my voice. I give another sigh, anybody looking at us would assume we were lovers. But we are not! Yeah, not yet ... it is only a matter of time, the voice inside my head taunts me, You don't seem to be able to deny him anything. That is the truth, and I know it.

It has been this way since 6 months ago when he returned from Naboo, a new Jedi Knight with an apprentice in tow. Obi-Wan was permanently assigned to the capital, until Anakin reached 16, when he could take his eager young Padwan out to the universe. I was also assigned to help raise Anakin to maturity. The belief was that since he missed his mother so, he needed a surrogate mother to promote emotional balance. After all, during his last visit before Qui-Gon's death, he bonded with me quite well. And this time upon arrival he threw his arms around my waist and held tight. "So much for the Hero of Naboo," I thought, "He's just a scared 10 year old boy, who wants his mother."

I feel Obi-Wan 's breath against my ear. "Had the nightmare again?"

Again, I nod.

"Did you wake anybody this time?"

I shake my head, "No, I knew it was a dream and I was able to wake myself out of it."

"The same dream?"

I nod.

He sighs, "Well, as long as no damage was done."

No damage? I turn and try to push myself out of his arms, unsuccessfully. "No damage!" I mutter as I look up at his half hooded face. "In the beginning I had them only once a week, now they're coming every night. Sometimes even twice if I fall asleep. And they are so much more vivid, those ... those things, I can see their faces, feel their breaths, feel the dampness of the cave wall against my back. And tonight I know something I didn't know before, I know that those things don't want to just devour me, they want my soul, they are attracted by my ability to use the force....." my voice trails off.

Obi-Wan's eyes narrow, "How do you know this?"

I look down, away at his chest. "I don't know how I know... I just know! As I know that I'm standing in that cave alone, with only my lightsaber. By myself, and those things are patient, they can wait until I get tired. And then they'll hurt me, hurt me bad. And I'll die alone, all alone!!!" I realize that my voice has become screechy, You're hysterical a detached part of my brain comments.

Obi-Wan presses my cheek to his shoulder, "You're not alone, you're never alone! Besides, not everyone on the council thinks these dreams are a premonition. A few think you're picking up a stray dream of someone in the city and internalizing it. After all, you're a gifted healer, your empathic ability is amazing, it is what makes you so talented. But you have to be able to separate your emotions and thoughts from those outside you. And you need to work on shielding more often."

I sigh, this is already an old argument. How can I heal with a layer between me and my patient?

He continues, "You must not give in to fear, it leads to the dark side of the force. You are never alone, there are thousands of brethren, they will not abandon you in a time of need."

"Promise me?" I push away and look up at his face. "Promise me" I ask again. He looks confused. "Promise me, that I won't be alone, that I won't have to face those things by myself !!!" I feel that panic creep back into my voice.

He nods and looking carefully in to my eyes he says, "I promise, I will never abandon you. You will not have to fight those creatures alone. I promise." He leans forward and brushes his lips on my forehead.

I close my eyes, How foolish, my asking for this promise and him for giving it to me. He knows as well as I do, it was worthless. The future is always changing, always shifting, it is never a certainty. It is like trying to walk in a fog bank, you can't see your hand never mind the next few feet. You don't know what the future will bring, you can't predict your own actions. Foolish, yet I needed to hear it from him. I needed to believe it. I needed to believe in the warmth and safety of his arms. Fool, the voice inside my head exclaimed, Only the dead are safe. Qui- Gon is safe now. Safe, asleep in the force.

As I muffle back a yawn, I hear the smile in his voice, "So, finally you're sleepy? Hmm?"

I nod giving in to the yawn. "Be a good boy and help me find my bed?" I ask innocently.

"Help you find your bed, is that an invitation for me to join you in it?"

My eyes snap open, but I can only see mischief in his eyes. No not yet, he has not yet demanded, demanded his rights. But he will, the voice in my head chuckles, and when he does you'll welcome him with open arms and legs !!! Oh, yes, may the force forgive me, but yes I will. Yes.!!!

Standing under the hot spray of the shower I let go a bone weary sigh. Gods, I didn't know my shoulders and back could hurt so much! I reach over to adjust the temperature and the strength of the water. "Ahhh, that is sooo much better." Shaking my head, little did I expect the day to turn out this way. I had the day off from the Healer's Clinic, so I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to spend quality time with Anakin and Obi-Wan.

Yes, well, guess again. Now that Anakin has reached 14, his physical training has become more rigorous. After lunch I went to join them in the gym. Well, after watching 2 hours of training, I have come to admit that Obi-Wan is damn good with a lightsaber, and thank the force that he is a Jedi, or we would all be in trouble.

Anakin was getting tired, so I thought we might go for a walk in the gardens. But instead Obi-Wan turned to me with a strange glint in his eyes. He started asking me if my lightsaber was ornamental, or did it actually function? And when was the last time I used it to defend myself? And how about letting him chase me around the gym for an hour or so? I heard him drop the gauntlet down before me, and I found myself picking it up. I said OK, fine, let's do it.

Of course what I didn't know then, was that he meant it quite literally, he planned to chase me around the gym like a madman for an hour. Of course it is your own fault, the voice inside my head proclaimed, no one told you to get lax and lazy in the physical arts. Obi-Wan had every right to chide you for not being more diligent in your physical training. The pain in my left arm is getting worse, so I reach over and increase the heat of the water. Chided me all right, he was out right belligerent. I don't think I have ever seen such anger in his eyes. Of course he only got that angry because after an hour, it ended with you on the floor out of breath. And his lightsaber pressed up against your neck, the voice commented. Well, yes, that was true.

Worse yet, after the anger left he calmly told me that I was no longer to neglect my physical training. That as my partner, he was going to take it upon himself to keep me in top physical shape. Ugh, I wonder what that means?

A voice echoes in the bathroom, "I see what the problem is. You're not a Jedi but rather a hot house flower. If you don't get the right amount of steam and moisture you wilt away and die!"

Hmm, what ? ! ! ! With one arm pressed up against the wall I look over my shoulder and watch as Obi-Wan steps into the shower. Steps into the shower naked. Oh, Gods, completely naked! He's completely naked!! My eyes travel down the length of his body. And he's absolutely beautiful! Muscles ripple down his stomach, rock hard pecs, gluts and thighs. And his manhood, well it was obviously built for pleasure! Wow!

I look back up to look into his eyes, which now sparkle with amusement and something else. I manage to stammer out "What ... are you doing here?"

He chuckles, "Weren't you paying attention? I said I plan to keep you in top physical shape!"

"Yeah?" I answered dumb founded.

"Well, sex is part of being in top physical shape." He reaches out to touch my shoulder, the one now in pain and I grimace.

"Damn...you have spent too much time in your mind, you have ignored your body. Too much time healing others, you have forgotten what it feels like to be touched. Yes, we are luminous beings, but we also inhabit bodies. It is time you remember what it means to be fully alive!" And without a sound he slips between me and the shower head. Placing both hands carefully on my shoulders, he turns me around so my back faces him. And the torture begins, as he begins to knead my muscles, pressing, pulling and stretching them. I find myself helplessly howling, the pain horrific. Slowly he works his way down my back, the pain now subsiding, my muscles relaxing. Hmmm, it is starting to feel good. I gasp with the feeling of little butterfly kisses trailing up my spine. He places his hand on my waist and turns me around, facing him.

I feel his soft voice inside my head Surrender as he pulls me into a kiss. The kiss begins slowly sweetly, intoxicatingly, gradually deepening. I can feel the moan coming from the back of my throat. His voice inside me, echoing out Surrender . He begins to work his way down my body, stopping at my neck to nibble, blow and suck on my ear. Surrender Working his way down to my breast, giving one at a time attention, he licks my nipples, taking them in his mouth, sucking. His mouth opens wider to take more of me inside. Surrender Taking my tits between his teeth, he sucks hard and bites down. I let out a loud moan. Reaching over, he gives attention to my other breast. And through it all I moan, unable to stop. Surrender

He trails kisses down my tummy while I flinch at his touch. My body has never felt better, but my nerves are on end. He reaches my cunt, I can feel his warm breath on me. He nudges my legs apart with his shoulder while pressing his tongue against me. Oh, Gods, his soft and insisting tongue, demanding that I give in. Obi-Wan is rewarded with a gush of fluids, as I tremble and my knees give out.

He jumps to his feet and scoops me up in his arms, pinning me against the shower wall. He reaches down and slips 2 fingers inside me. In, out and deeper his fingers plunge. With a slow, steady beat, his tongue explores my mouth, while his voice becomes a mantra inside my head, Surrender. I feel myself being pushed to the edge, but I don't want to go. I feel overwhelmed. I want him to stop, but he won't.

Surrender now! His voice a growl, I snap, I fall into the abyss. I feel myself quake and shouting his name. Over and over I give in, and slowly it ends. I feel him deeply sigh. He puts me down only long enough to rinse us off. Then back into his arms I go, as he carries me to my bedroom. We both say nothing. I couldn't make a sentence to save my life. I look up at him, there is an unmistakable glow and strange intensity in his eyes .....

We reach my room and he puts me down and pulls me into another kiss. I can feel his hardness against my thigh. The kiss deepens, but now it is frantic and demanding instead of slow and sweet. SURRENDER, NOW, his voice dangerously growls. I gasp, Yes, I answer back, and Obi-Wan is transformed.

He pushes me back upon the bed, and he is all over me. He is all tongue, hands and teeth ... nipping, biting, sucking, blowing, licking, stroking. I find myself crying out, "Please, oh please, please."

With that he slips inside me and my hips start to rock.

"No," he demands, "don't move."

"But?"

"NO, you will not move!" His eyes locking me in place, the confusion inside me building up to a painful intensity. Slowly he starts to rock, too slowly for me, I feel my nails sink into his back, I've drawn blood. I need to rock, to move but he won't let me. I am under his total control. I feel myself screaming, but I can't stop. Finally he gives into me, he takes me, thrusting hard, taking me and shoving me over the cliff. I feel myself falling as he explodes inside me, his voice an unearthly moan. We cling to each other as we hit the ground.

Lying in his arms after the storm, I look up to his face. I have never seen such joy. He reaches out to touch my cheek, his hand comes away wet? I must have been crying, I guess. Looking back into his eyes I see something shining there, but what is it? I don't know, but I am tired. I am exhausted, so instead I fall asleep deep in the arms of my Master.

The same night an hour or so later... Lying in my bed I feel something shudder and moan next to me. My eyes fly open, memories of a few hours earlier flooding my brain. I turn to find Obi-Wan shaking and moaning, in the grips of a nightmare. I reach over physically and mentally to wake him. His eyes open slightly unfocused, that strange glint still evident. It takes a moment for him to see me, and with a gasp he grabs and holds me in a vice like grip. Obi-Wan, I say directly mind to mind, Please let go , you're hurting me. He sucks his breath in and loosen his grip. We lay like this for a while, me pressed up against his chest, listening to his heart. Finally when he has calmed down I ask mind to mind Tell me about the nightmare? But he is silent, he won't talk. OK, I can be as relentless as him! Tell me!

After a 1/2 hour of this he gives in. "You, me and Anakin were exploring a cave, I'm not sure why? Anyway, you got separated from us, and all of a sudden I felt panic coming from you. We retraced our steps and followed the trail you took. The longer we took, the more frantic your thoughts became, the more fearful. And finally we were there. The chamber was large and you were at the other end, pressed up against the wall fighting for your life. Between us were those ... those things, they were hungry. We tried to attract a few of those things away, but not many followed. We tried to fight our way over to you, but they were skilled at dodging our lightsabers. Then I felt it, I heard you give a cry as you went down. The pain, your pain, our pain was overwhelming, I couldn't breathe. But Anakin lost it, he went berserk. He became a killing machine. The floor was littered with their corpses. I don't think one of them survived. I reached you but it was too late, you were already gone. All I could do was sweep you up into my arms and cry. It was Qui-Gon's death all over again, I felt so helpless." He sighs deeply, his body has relaxed on the telling of the dream.

I on the other hand felt myself grow numb. The more he spoke the more numb I became. When he finished, I could barely feel my body. I needed to get out of there. But I had to ask, "How long have you had this dream?"

"Hmm, every night for about a month." It all stared to make sense. That little stunt in the gym, that was his attempt to see how battle ready I was. He went after me with no mercy because those things would show no mercy. And when I failed he promised to whip me into shape. Yes, this all made sense. But I needed him to explain his actions of the past few hours. I looked up at his face, "Why did you decide to make love to me tonight?"

An evil grin spread over his face, "If you have to ask, I didn't do it right."

But I stop him, "Tell me why after four years you choose tonight to get intimate?"

"Well, I started thinking about Qui-Gon, and how no one knows how much time they have. In the end I could only watch as he died in my arms. And now I regret that I never told him how important he was, that he was more of a father than a master. Well, I wasn't going to let that..."

I can't hear him any more, my ears don't work. My mind panics, he had the dream, oh Gods, he had the dream!!! I pull myself violently out of his arms and fling myself out of the bed. I can only stare at him. My body is shaking and panting. He's treating me as if I have a death mark over my head, love her now because once she's dead you'll regret it !!! I stare at him , he looks pale, he's talking but I can't hear him. Then it hits me, he knows I'm going to die in that cave. And that glint in his eyes, it wasn't lust or love it was ... fear. Fear for me! He knows that no matter how well he trains me, I'm going to meet my destiny in that cave!! Obi-Wan climbs out of the bed, but I grab my robe and spin on my heel. I run out the door down the hall. Where am I going, I don't know, I just need to run, I have to get away. I need to hide where no one can find me. It all becomes a blur. I find myself in a corner of a dark room, curled up into a ball, crying. Oh Gods, help me, make the pain go away!!!!

"Love," a gravelly voice broke through my pain filled haze. "Love ... away the pain it may take." I open my eyes to find master Yoda standing in front of me, concern filling his huge blue eyes. Shaking his head, he sits down next to me. "Alone, are Jedi not meant to be, yet always alone, in your greatest pain, you seek to be?"

I shake my head thinking, Yoda? I have really done it this time, they have sent him after me! I sigh, Yoda, dealing with him is like... Well, he always manages to cut deeply to the core of any problem. Cut deeply leaving raw nerves behind. Oh yes, he is always able to find the flaw behind anybody's facade. It is what makes him a powerful Jedi.

"So returned, the dream has after all this time?"

I nod.

"And thought you, because it had gone away, that nothing had you to learn from it? Ignore it now could you?"

I feel utter confusion.

"Yes, serve a purpose our fears, there to teach us about ourselves, they are."

"But I though that we were not to embrace our fears, that that leads to the dark side?"

"Yes, leads to the dark side, but learn from them you can for powerful teachers they are. About your inner places, the dark places inside, they can tell you of. Places rather you not see. Act upon them not, influenced by them not, but if acknowledge them you do not, control you they will, unseen. Much like a puppet master, pulling the strings. Once your fears accepted, away you take their power, the string you snip. You fear abandonment, yes, but you fear love, yes, closeness, intimacy even more. Inside believe you are not worthy."

"But as a healer, I love and care for my patients and students every day!"

"Yes, love and care by for you, but love unreturned. Your patients and students, while admire you, love you not, unequal they are to you. Control have you, set you the condition in which love takes place. Obi-Wan, different is he, strong and healthy, need not healer. Control his love you cannot, your equal he is. Either accept his love you can, or cannot, but love you he will no matter!"

I quietly nod, my mind reeling from what Yoda has said. I can feel the truth in it.

"Surprised, I am not this happened. Battle of wills, took it, for you to allow Obi-Wan to make love to you." He chuckles, "Feared for his life, at one part did I !!"

I blush, did everyone know about our earlier 'activities'? I don't want to know.

"After such intimacies you shared, wonder you that the dream returned to you again?"

"But master, I didn't have the dream, Obi-Wan did."

Yoda's eyes widen slightly, he looks up at me, he looks through me at the imperceptible. He sighs, slowly closing his eyes, saddened. "Yes, it may be indeed the future that it shows."

The future, I breathe in sharply, my future, my destiny... But before I can retreat into my pain-filled haze, I hear Yoda's voice.

"Chosen young, had you to walk the path of light. Yet within the light there are many paths. Yes, many divergent paths. Suppose I told you by accepting to help raise Anakin Skywalker, chose you the path that leads to the cave?"

"But how can that be when the future is always shifting, nothing is predestined, how could accepting to raise Anakin lead me to the cave?"

He sighs, "Often you have heard me say, walk down the path to the dark side, forever will it dominate you. Well, true of the light side, it is too. Choose you a path and walk down it. The longer you stay on the path, dominate you it will. Opportunities you are given, yet stay you on same path, making the same choices. It is the making of these choices, that keep you to this path. The force may be showing you if you stay upon this path your destiny you will meet in the cave. So ask you again, wish you to step off this path that you are on? Wish you to be relieved of raising Anakin? Position can I find for you on Alderaan, as Chief Healer? No certainty that change the path this will, it is but a start."

My mind is frantic, Yes, I will do that, go to Alderaan, work as Chief Healer, but ... abandon Anakin? I can't! I have come to love the child he was, and find pride in the young man he is becoming. How could I leave him? There is so much I have yet to tell him now that he is older. How can I leave my son? No, I never gave birth to him, yet I know his heart and mind, I know he is mine and I am his. I love him, his quick mind, his stubbornness when he believes he is right, his incredible gentleness with the younger children, and his intolerance of bullies. You can't leave Obi-Wan either, the voice inside my head states, you love him. Admit it, whether tonight happened or not you love him, you can't leave him. Even if it means saving your self. I sigh as I climb out of the corner to stand. I look down at Yoda, " No, that won't be necessary."

He nods and reaches out to pinch my leg, " Long enough took you to come to this decision. Thought I, that you would run to Alderaan, instead of accepting your destiny." I give a laugh. I had forgotten that Master Yoda has a wicked sense of humor.

We walk out of the room together. I realize we are in the Healers Clinic, leave it to me to hide in the most obvious place. I find Obi-Wan outside the door, waiting, looking at me uncertainly. Yoda simply nods and mutters goodnight, leaving us alone.

The silence is deafening, he doesn't know what to say, I can't look at his face. I feel him brush my mind ???? I answer back mind to mind, Ben, I use Anakins' nickname for him, Ben, I love you.

That is all he needs to hear, he reaches out to hold me in his arms. I look up into his eyes, and see the fear there, but (gasp) I also see something there I hadn't seen before. I see his love. He only fears for me because he loves me! He loves me!

He smiles down, "Let's get back to bed, we have a few hours of night left." He guides me down the hall, and strangely enough even though I know what this path will bring, I'm not afraid anymore. I feel safe, safe in his love.

Standing next to Anakin, I watch as he blows out the sixteen candles on his birthday cake. I can't believe six years have come and gone. The young graceful man I see before me does not resemble the awkward boy of a few years earlier. Six years! So much has happened in that time.

Especially in the past two years, Ben interrupts my thoughts. I turn to look at him as he slips an arm around my shoulders. I sigh, he is looking every inch the proud father. This birthday party was his idea, he only intended to invite close friends to share in Anakin's rite of passage. So where did all these people come from? I shake my head.

Today Anakin is sixteen years old, and tomorrow the two of them embark on their first diplomatic mission. Prior to this Anakin was only a student, with many masters, today he formally became Obi-Wan's Padawan. And tomorrow he would begin the real Jedi knight training. He would learn the fine art of being a peace maker. Up until now he had learned how to defend himself and others. But those techniques were in reality for the worst case scenario. Pulling a lightsaber was the last thing a Jedi did, when all efforts at negotiation failed. When the antagonists were determined to have their satisfaction by taking a pound of flesh, the Jedi protected the weak.

Unfortunately Anakin bristled at this. He was like most young men, he wanted to fight, he wanted excitement. He wanted the easy answer to every problem. This was Obi-Wan's challenge, to reign in his young Padawan. To convince Anakin of the need for patience, not to jump to any conclusions. I sigh, I don't envy Ben the job... Anakin has a stubborn streak in him, one I tried to temper with love and patience. And although it is not so pronounced as it used to be, I knew it was still there. Good luck, my love.

Obi-Wan reaches out to tug at my Padawan braid, "So when are you clipping this?"

A slow smile spreads across my face, "Never." I am proud of my Padawan braid. It began as a joke, two years ago when I first started formal retraining with him and the lightsaber. Or as he liked to call it Lightsaber 101, Ambush and Attack. He had asked me to wear a Padawan braid as a way of instilling in me the seriousness of our undertaking. Nonplused, I pulled down a few strands of hair and wove a Padawan braid over my ear. However, I had managed to graduate from his classes three months ago, so he saw no reason for me to keep the braid. I did however, so I reached into his mind, and flashed him a picture of myself naked, kneeling on all fours, trembling. "But, I have so much more to learn to from you, master!" I whispered.

His eyes widened as he shook his head and he gave my braid another tug. Later, much later, he said mind to mind.

I simply smiled. For now we had a sixteen-year-old's birthday party to chaperone.

***

Lying in bed naked, in our room I stifled a giggle. Ben had just finished giving me a tongue bath, every inch of me was licked, every inch of me felt raw, but it was a sensation I had grown to love. Flipping me on my tummy, he was all business, while I waited in eager anticipation. Butterfly kisses sprinkled down my spine as I flinched. Naturally he says nothing, which was the usual way. When we begin we have no need for words, we know each other intimately.

I gasp as I feel the cool smooth bacta gel being applied to my anus. I take a deep breath to relax myself, to just let it happen, to let him take me. He slips a finger into my anus. I take another breath and relax the muscles as he pushes up to the first joint on his finger. He holds it for a moment, then pushes further. I take a deep slow breath and relax my anus muscle further. I am too busy concentrating on relaxing my muscles to enjoy the feeling of fullness, but as I have learned from him, have patience and pleasure will come soon.

This continues until his entire finger is inside me. And slowly, ever so slowly he pulls out. Ben then proceeds to repeat the whole thing all over again. Oh Gods, yes, and I suffer in pleasure until four of his fingers are buried deep inside me. Finally he pulls out, this is what I have been waiting for. With my anus totally relaxed I am ready for him. I feel the coolness of more bacta gel and he places his now engorged penis tip at my anus. And slowly he presses forward. OH, GODS, YESSS!!! My hands grasp into the blanket beneath me, my finger nails digging into the heavy cloth.

Ben chuckles, "Patience, my Padawan." With that he stops, while I regain my composure. I unclench my hands, discipline is everything, or so I have learned form him. When I am calm, he continues, pushing himself further and further. All the while I concentrate on relaxing my muscles to make the way easier. He slides himself up to the hilt, my bowels are full of him, and I sigh. I wait for him to start thrusting his hips. And I wait, the waiting painful yet pleasurable. So we lie there, him on top of me nibbling on the back of my neck, while I try to relax and not rock my hips. It is a game we play, seeing how long I can wait on the edge of passion.

Ben nuzzles my ear, "You're learning, my Padawan!"

I say nothing, as he starts to slide out, then in again. The momentum builds, I dig my hand into the blanket, a scream is building up. And I let it go, I can't help it. Ben says nothing, but begins to thrust harder into me, harder and faster. I continue to scream, and I feel it, he comes, he explodes inside me. My bowels fill with his ejaculate, seeping and leaking out my anus. Now I can finally give in, my body snaps like a rubber band, I quiver. My cunt is burning and throbbing hard. He reaches around and rubs my cunt and I ejaculate into his hand. I am covered in fluid, fluid out my vagina, fluid out my anus, and I am in heaven. He pulls out of me, and pulls me into his arms as I continue to shake.

Brushing his lips against my ear he says, "I think, my Padawan, we may have given the entire council a nightmare."

I reply, my voice heavy with emotion, "Good. Let them suffer." I close my eyes and let sleep take me.

I awake with a smile on my lips. I can hear Ben and Anakin in the living room talking. Probably packing for their mission, I think as I swing my legs out of bed. I am sore but no worse for wear, as I make my way to the bathroom. I feel like a soak in the bath tub. I glance in the mirror and stop to look at myself. I stand there naked and press my hand against a flat belly. Three months, I muse, in another two I would have started to show.

Would have if you hadn't lost the baby last week, the voice inside my head corrects. A deep feeling of sadness overtakes me. We hadn't planned on that child, it was a surprise. After the first time we always used the suppressor. But then one night we got careless, and I was pregnant. Ben was proud, happy, even light-hearted, those few precious months. I however was sick with nausea every morning.

Then the bad news, the blood test showed I was a high risk for pre-eclampsia, I would have to be watched carefully. Perhaps even placed on bed rest for the last few weeks before the birth. Then it happened. In the middle of planning Anakin's birthday party, I woke up with a pain tearing my abdomen. I screamed, and woke Ben up, blood running down my legs. He scooped me up and ran me to the Healers Clinic, but it was too late to save the baby. And they almost lost me, the bleeding was that heavy. Mihail , the healer on call, took Ben aside and told him, " It might be better if she never gets pregnant again, if you cherish her." It had hit Ben hard, and until last night he hadn't wanted to touch me, afraid that I might break. It seems that it is my job to convince him that I'm not fragile, that if we use the suppressor, I'll be OK.

I look up at my face and realize, my Padwan braid is gone! I don't believe it, he must have cut it off while I slept. I grab my robe, slip it on and step into the living room. I can see the two of them have taken Anakin's luggage apart, discussing what to take and what to leave behind. I use the word discuss lightly, more like argue.

"Anakin, we need to travel lightly, so please put back the holonovels and take a few more pairs of underwear." He tells the retreating figure. He turns to look at me and brushes his lips on my brow Good Morning!

I ask him, "OK, where is my Padawan braid?"

He looks amused, "I cut it. Really I did you a favor, how would it look in five days' time, when you attend the medical conference on Alderaan. Hmmm? A master healer with a Padawan braid? I don't think so!"

I sigh, "Fine!" I reach up and pull a few strands loose and reweave a Padawan braid. "I don't care what others think, I am your Padawan and you are the master of my body and soul!"

He shakes his head, and picks up my wrist and turns it over to place a kiss on the sensitive inner side. I sigh.

"Oh, come on you two, are you ever gonna stop? You two are so yucky!" Anakin exclaims as he re-enters the room. "Do you know what he did with your Padawan braid? He has it in the pocket of his tunic, next to his heart! Yuck, that's sick!" his voice cracking.

I smile and kiss Anakin on the nose, "No that's love, Anakin, that's love." I turn around and walk back to my waiting tub. There would be plenty of time for goodbyes, later.

Standing in the meeting room, I look out the windows at the rolling hills of Alderaan. It has been a long boring day, I sigh. And this conference is only just beginning! I thought that the last speaker would never end, droning on and on about modern methods in contagion isolation.

Truth of the matter is I hate conferences! I really do, it always seems that the presentations are neither informative nor interesting. Most of the topics discussed I could have read about in MedaCopia Today, at my leisure at home. I don't know who organizes these things, nothing really gets done. If anything, these conferences are opportunities for researchers to preen and faun in front of a captive audience.

A voice brushes my mind Well you could have pulled your lightsaber and threatened him with it. I am sure it would have cut his speech down by 10 to 15 minutes.

I turn and smile, Walker Bo'th, chief healer on Alderaan, comes over to join me at the window. I reply, "I don't think it occurred to me, however there is always tomorrow!"

Walker chuckles, "You're right, of course, nothing gets done and nothing is shared that won't be in the next issue of MedaCopia."

I shake my head, "Reading my thoughts, master healer, you play fast and furious with the force. Beware the Dark side!"

"The dark side at my age, girl, ha, I eat the dark side for breakfast!"

I simply smile. Walker's love of life and his enthusiasm were contagious. Although he is right about his age. Walker was no longer a young man. About two years ago he had formally announced to the council that he wanted to retire and teach. Yoda had been serious when he had offered me his position, I later discovered. Now two years later, and he was still plugging away waiting for a replacement.

The problem was that among the Jedi, healers were rare. Oh sure, most Jedi have some healing ability, and almost all were able to initiate a healing trance. But to be able to work with the force at the cellular level, well, that was something special. When it comes to using the force, if Jedi knights could be likened to Vibro-axes, then healers could be compared to micro fusion cutters. The work we did was that precise.

I sigh and look at Walker's gray head. Healing ages a man. When I get back I'm going to suggest to Yoda that perhaps Mihail should be offered the position of chief healer on Alderaan. I know that he is chomping at the bit, tired of working under me. He is more than ready to take over his own clinic, it will be a good move for him. Yes, I will do that.

Walker turns to me to say, "Anyway, good night, it has been a long day, and you look tired. Why don't you make an early night of it? The others won't mind, I'll make your apologies."

So Walker has heard of my miscarriage?

"Of course I have! Nothing travels faster than gossip, and they're worried about you, they just wanted me to keep an eye on you."

I nod, I am tired, I think I will take his advice. I yawn, "Good night."

Walker reaches out to tug on my Padawan braid, "And give my love to Obi-Wan when you speak to him tonight!"

I smile as he propels me toward the doors and toward my waiting bedroom.

I wake up the next morning, feeling all stiff and sore. The truth is I just don't sleep well without Ben next to me in the bed, I sigh, I miss him! Well, speaking to him last night felt good didn't it? the voice inside my head chided. Yes, it did, and it seemed that the negotiations were going well despite Anakin's youthful impatience. Ben told me, "If all things go well, we may be able to wrap things up in a few days. I'll see if we can join you on Alderaan before the conference ends." I hope so my love, Alderaan is a beautiful planet, we could use the opportunity for a vacation. And exposing Anakin to the gentle ways of these people couldn't hurt.

In my haste to get ready for the morning speaker I miss the call signal on the comm unit. On my way out the door I see it's blinking light. I go over to discover it is a message from Walker, dated last night, an hour after I went to bed. Something about a medical emergency on the Southern Continent, that he was going to investigate, but that he planned to be back tomorrow night, and to save him a seat at dinner. Back tonight, only gone a day? That doesn't sound too serious.

Yet something I couldn't put my finger on bothered me. Well, there was nothing to do but go to the meeting, order breakfast and listen to another boring lecture. And that is just what I did, sit and listen to speaker after speaker drone on as the day wore on. I at times was barely aware of the subject material.

Instead I was distracted by a buzzing inside my head, I like to call it my early warning system. Every Jedi has one, a kind of sixth sense to warn against disaster. Yet sitting in the meeting room I could see no immediate danger, it must be coming from the Southern Continent, from the Farmers Co-op. It must be worse than Walker expected it to be. Well, I'll ask him about it tonight at dinner. Hours later dinner comes and no Walker.

The situation must be worse, I'll give him a call after dinner, I think, when a pain rips through me. I scream, hundreds of tiny teeth sink into my flesh. I collapse, only to wake up in the Healer's Clinic, it seems I scared everyone at dinner. Naturally they thought it was connected to the miscarriage, but now I seem fine, and my tests have come back normal. I shake my head and shudder, "I was not the one in danger, it was Walker, something has attacked and killed him. Master Walker Bo'th is dead!"

Standing in front of the Holonet unit, a hooded figure looms over me. It is Master Windu, "So you believe that Master Healer Bo'th was attacked?"

I shake my head, "Master, I don't know what to believe! I wasn't there to know what happened. They haven't found Master Bo'th's body. But I know what I felt. I felt an attack, an ambush of hundreds of tiny teeth or blades sinking into flesh. And I felt the life energy being drained away. I felt death."

The tall figure nods. "What are your plans Master Healer?"

"Well, I plan to pack my bags and take the first shuttle to the Southern Continent . And to get to the bottom of this myself!"

Master Windu turns as if someone is speaking to him, and he steps out of the holofield to be replaced by Master Yoda. "Travel to the Southern Continent, you will not! Wait you will, for Jedi Knights, that I will send you. Arrive by tomorrow they will. Then you will go!"

I nod and sigh, Master Yoda was in his no nonsense mode, Do as I say or else! Well, I would obey, but while waiting in Alderra, I would find out about this medical emergency!

Next morning, I find myself waiting for the knights Master Yoda promised me, at the Shuttle Landing Pad. I feel as if I could jump out of my skin, waiting for the shuttle to land is making me nuts! Patience, patience, the voice inside my head admonishes, you're as impatient as Anakin. Has Obi-Wan taught you nothing?

I sigh and let go of tension I didn't know I had. I had spoken to the medic who worked at the local Healers Clinic at the Farmers Co-op. First thing he told me was that they had found the body of Master Bo'th, in the hills surrounding the Co-op. He was covered in purplish bruises, and the cause of death was being listed as dehydration. All the blood had been drained out of his body. He was now being listed as the first casualty of this medical emergency.

And finally I learned about the original emergency that had brought him down there. It seemed for about a week or so the farmers at the Co-op had wakened feeling sick and tired with purplish bruises on there ankles and inner arms. When they went to the Healers Clinic, it was discovered that they were missing a pint of blood. Bleeding, anemia, etc., all of these causes were ruled out. It was becoming a mystery? Yet every day more farmers and their families were showing up with bruises and missing a pint of blood. Then Master Bo'th shows up covered head to toe in these bruises and completely drained of blood! What is the connection? And how is he different from the farmers?

But in my heart I know the answer to that question, he is Jedi, his death has something to do with being Jedi! Finally the shuttle lands and two brown robes descend the landing ramp. I am shocked, Master Yoda has sent me my mate and my son to help? Why? They were busy finishing up negotiations half way across the rim. Surely some other Master and his Padawan were closer to Alderaan. One look at them confirms it, they are tired. Anakin is subdued, but Ben is...is, well, professional. He breaks his stride to stand before me at full height, shoulders back.

"Master Healer, I understand that you require our assistance on a medical matter?"

I don't believe it, he is using formal language with me?? I try to brush his mind with a question, but I can't get in, his shields are firmly locked in place. I reply, "Yes, Master Kenobi, I do require your assistance on a perplexing matter. If you will be so kind as to accompany me to the Southern Continent, I believe that we will be able to put this matter to rest." He nods, I go on, "This way gentlemen, I have a shuttle waiting at our disposal." Again he nods saying nothing. I turn to walk across the tarmac, forcing him to follow me. I sense no reaction from Kenobi, but from Anakin I sense bewilderment. Why are the grownups acting this way? That is a good question. I have no answer.

The ride to the Southern Continent was uneventful. I spent some time bringing Kenobi up to speed on the situation there. He nodded then ignored me for the rest of the trip. Anakin look confused and decided to ignore us both. Finally we arrived. Anakin goes ahead down the landing ramp, but Kenobi... Obi-Wan grabs my arm and asks in a dark tone, "Why did you demand that Yoda send us? We weren't quite finished with the situation on Ulanda 7. I don't appreciate being yanked out of negotiations, to be replaced by another Jedi, just because we are lovers!" he fumes.

I am floored, "I... I don't know what you're talking about. I never requested assistance, Yoda insisted that I wait for help. If it was up to me I would have gone last night, alone."

Obi-Wan's eyes widen. "Yoda said you demanded that I be sent to you. And that it was time I fulfilled my promise to you."

I shake my head, "Promise? Over the years many promises have been made. Which promise does Yoda refer to?" But my head is reeling, Liar, the voice inside my head taunts, you know which one, the promise. Don't be such a coward! I continue, "I am surprised to see you, I don't know why you're here. But I'm glad you are."

Ben reaches out to give my Padawan braid a tug, "So am I."

I swallow, so now I've lied to him and my heart is full of fear. Oh please! Let this be the one time when a prophecy is wrong! Oh please, I pray to whatever Gods would listen to me! And I turn to follow Ben down the ramp out to the Southern Continent.

Sitting in the Healers Clinic, I lean back in my chair and sigh. It has been a long day! And so far no joy. Upon leaving the shuttle, Obi-Wan and I agree to divide the labor. He would speak to the clinic staff about Master Bo'th's whereabouts on the day prior to his death. Then he would go to the death site and look around to see if anything was missed. Whereas I would stay at the clinic and interview some of the earlier victims of the attacks, plus take care of any newly admitted patients. And then, if possible, take a look for myself at Master Bo'th's body.

I give another sigh. It is almost dinner time and having accomplished my goals for today, I found out ... nothing. Nothing that we didn't already know. I pick up the mug before me on the table, hot leek broth, and I take a sip. Looks like this is my dinner, I muse. I hope Obi-Wan and Anakin have found out more. I hear footsteps and the door slides open.

In walk Obi-Wan and Anakin. Anakin's head is down, his shoulders slumped forward as he takes the chair next to my desk. Obi-Wan reaches out one hand and a chair comes flying from across the room. Wow, I think, he must be frustrated to be using the force in such a frivolous manner. I listen to what he has to say. "We learned nothing from the medics working here on the day of Master Bo'th's death. As far as they are concerned it was just a normal day, albeit with lots of patients. And Bo'th did nothing out of the ordinary."

Anakin breaks in, "But they did say that when he left for the evening, he muttered something about following a hunch before returning to Alderra!"

Obi-Wan replies in disgust, "Yes, but they also agreed that he often said that after a field visit, before he returned to the Capital. It means nothing, plus we already know he planned to return to Alderra for dinner that night. What we don't know is what he was doing on that hill, and why he is dead!"

I nod and ask, "Did you find anything at the site?"

He replies shaking his head, "No, only rodent droppings."

I sigh, rodent droppings around an agricultural center, that is no surprise, the growing food often attracted rodents. In fact, the farmers here often put traps out to protect their crops. Anakin's head sinks to the desk. A day of work and nothing to show for it! Then the sound of running footsteps echos down the hallway, the door flies open. A young man stumbles in, it is one of the farmer's sons, Lem, yes that's his name. "Ma'am, you have to come with me quick, my Father has captured a marmet. But there is something weird about it, it doesn't look right."

I sigh, a marmet, that's what the locals around here called their rodents, marmets. I look at Obi-Wan as I get up and agree to go. The two knights get up as well to join me, probably out of curiosity more than anything else. We reach Lem's father's farm within minutes, his father standing out back with the trap. I give his father a friendly nod and bend down to look at the caged animal.

Oh my, that can't be a marmet! That thing is twice the size of one. It can barely fit in the trap. And as I continue to look down at it, it turns it head to look at me with piercing red eyes. I nearly jump back. That can't be a marmet! Marmets are shy, gentle creatures, preferring to sneak into gardens in the cover of night and eat a few vegetables. Now this one had the eyes of a predator.

I need to examine it more closely. I reach over to the opening in the trap and slip my hand in. I need to feel it's mind, I think, when it opens it's mouth and bites down hard on my inner wrist. I gasp, the pain, like white hot blades sinking into my skin. And all I can do is stare as it sucks my blood out of my body. I can only stare at it amazed. I feel my arm being yanked out of the trap. I look up to find Obi-Wan glaring at me with a temper barely controlled.

"What the hell do you think you were doing?!?"

I try to explain, that I wanted to examine that animal up close. He replies in a voice quivering with emotion, "You will not do that again!"

I silently agree, and as I turn over my wrist, a huge bruise is now covering it. "But now we know where the bruises are coming from," I reply.

Lem's father, Nils is not happy. The idea of feral "marmets" wandering around the hills surrounding the Farmer's Co-op has gotten him agitated. It took the better part of an hour to try to get him to calm down. I feel so dirty. In the end Obi-Wan winds up using the Jedi mind trick to prevent Farmer Nils from doing anything rash. I know, I know, sometimes people must be protected from themselves, from acting out of fear. But the idea of manipulating someone's mind like that always leaves me feeling sick. I look at Kenobi and wonder, how can he live with himself?

We persuade Farmer Nils to go inside with his family. He promises to lock all doors, windows and any other opening to the outside. He also promises to contact his neighbors with these instructions. With that accomplished, we stand around, looking at the "marmet" and discussing what to do. The most disturbing thing about the animal was that having tasted my blood, it kept staring at me. No matter where I stood, circling the trap, it turned it's head, even it's body, to track my movements.

I could feel the fear building up inside, trying to choke me. I feel a hand on my shoulder, it is Obi-Wan.

"Relax, it will be okay, it is only a dumb animal, not a Sith Lord."

I nod, his comment shattering the fear, bringing me back to reality. We finally decide that since it is already dark and marmets are nocturnal animals we would release this one. Naturally, having been caught, it should run back to the relative safety of it's nest. We would track it's progress back and having found the nest, wipe the monsters out.

Good idea, I agree. Obi-Wan reaches down to spring the door open to let the "marmet" out. The animal hesitates for a second, rushes out of the cage and straight at me to attack my leg. It sinks it's teeth through my boot into my flesh. I collapse on one knee, the pain exquisite. Twice in one day, bitten by a "marmet," what did I do to deserve this?

I look up to find Obi-Wan with lightsaber pulled, ready to disembowel the creature. But I shake my head. Through clenched teeth I say, "No, we need it....to lead us to the others....don't...please." Finally the "marmet" slides it's teeth out of my ankle. Had enough of my blood, I guess. It gives me a piercing look and runs off into the night, toward the hills.

Anakin comes over to help me to my feet. He comments, "Look, you've been bitten twice. I know it hurts, I can feel your pain. Why don't you go back to the Healers Clinic and let Master Kenobi and I take care of this?"

I look at Obi-Wan who says nothing, but I know he agrees with Anakin. I am too about to agree, when the voice inside my head booms, No, you must go, you cannot shirk your duty, they will need you. You cannot let them down. I put on a false smile, and tell Anakin that I am fine, while trying to ignore the wave of nausea and lightheadedness that has hit me. I tell Anakin I will go, while looking at Obi-Wan, as if to challenge him. He looks at me, through me for something.

Abruptly he says, "Come on, we have to go before the trail gets cold."

We follow the trail into the night, through the hills surrounding the Farmer's Co-op. At several places we lose the scent, only to pick it up again on the other side of a creek. As we stop for a moment to get our bearings, I try to catch my breath. Obi-Wan is proving to be a heck of a tracker, to have gotten us this far. I am amazed and somewhat intimidated be his prowess. He turns to look at me in the darkness. I try to calm my panting. I have given up on the nausea and vertigo, they have become my companions for the last hour or so. I want to go back, yet unwillingly I am compelled forward against my better judgment. Compelled forward to what ends I do not know. I only know I must see an end to these creatures.

Obi-Wan turns to look at Anakin. He is restless, pacing back and forth like a caged animal. Obi-Wan gives a sigh. "There is a cave opening through the trees, two hundred feet or so. I believe the little monster went that way." I nod and we follow him through the trees to the cave opening. Anakin strides ahead into the cave.

Obi-Wan turns to stop me, his voice a deep growl, "You will listen to everything I say, and you will obey! There is great evil involved here. And if I could have sent you back I would have. But I have seen that our paths intersect here, so here you are. But I do not have to like this! You will stay close to me, you will not leave my sight, I will not lose you!"

Even through the nausea and vertigo I can hear he means business. I nod. We follow the path down into the cave with lightsabers drawn to see better for about three hundred yards, when the path splits into a left trail and a right one. Obi-Wan indicates we should go right. I agree and wordlessly as in a trance move to take the left trail. He snarls and grabs my shoulder to spin me around. I find myself staring at one livid Jedi. Oh yeah, I promised to obey, didn't I? The right trail, of course, we should take the right. I move past him, to follow Anakin down the right trail.

The trail meanders, twists and turns as if a river. When finally we reach the end, the trail opens up to a huge chamber, filled with marmet's nests. We quietly pull out our rebreather masks and place them in our mouths. Obi-Wan and Anakin pull out gas fuses, tossing them into the chamber, waiting moments for it to fill with gas, the plan being to gas the little monsters, then make quick work of them with our lightsabers. Being gassed, the monsters wouldn't be able to bite, making it safer for the Jedi.

Before going in Obi-Wan looks at me, glares at me, "You will wait for me here."

I nod, obey, yes I promised to obey. So I stand and wait at the entrance to the chamber. I can barely see anything with the room filled with smokelike gas. But I can hear the lightsabers re-ignite, and see their glow through the smoke. And I can hear as they cut through flesh and bone. And I can feel Anakin's excitement at finally being able to use his lightsaber, To hell with diplomacy, I want to fight!

I smile at his enthusiasm, when the voice inside my head announces, It is time, come, you must go and take care of a matter. But I recoil, I promised to stay here, to obey, didn't I? The voice is urgent, You must go, you have things to do, Obi-wan must not stand in your way! Weakly I agree, Okay.

I slip away from the cave entrance to retrace our steps back to the cave opening. I get to the place where the trail splits right and left. But this time I take the left without any hesitation. I take it with no one to impede my steps. A sense of urgency hits, faster, you must get there, you must complete your mission. I follow the trail and again it breaks right and left. But this time I know where I am going. I go right without any thought and follow the trail for another 300-400 yards. The trail opens up into yet another large chamber, and as I step in I am shocked.

The chamber is filled, layer by layer, row by row up to the ceiling with...baby incubators! I step into the chamber, I realize that there are hundreds, no thousands of them here. But who would strand babies in a cave in the middle of nowhere? I also think with a sad twinge, that if I could have carried her for another 3 weeks, she could have been placed in an incubator. She would still be alive. I shake my head, forcing myself to take another look.

Sweet Naomi, that's no baby, it's ...it's a marmet. I look around to realize that they are all marmets. Hundreds, thousands of feral marmets, being bred here? Who? Why? I need to know! I look down the rows, to see the center control computer. I find myself running to it. The computer controls the invitro environment of the marmets. It controls nutrition, waste management, temperature, hydration, light and noise. In short, it is the controlling mechanism for these artificial wombs. Hopefully it will tell me something about the marmets, their environment, maybe even their creator. But most of all I hope it tells me how to kill them.

I find myself poring over information about the chemistry, physics and biology surrounding these marmets. Wait a second, now this is interesting. I am looking at the DNA structure of these feral marmets. I check the coding and sequencing of the base pairs. There is something very wrong here. I check it again to be sure. Yes, there is no doubt about it. These marmets are a sick mutation. Because of their DNA sequences they cannot make certain proteins necessary for life. They have all been bred to die.

I shake my head, this makes no sense. Who would take the time to breed marmets that would die within hours of birth?

I look at the DNA structure again, trying to remember which base pair sequencing equals which amino acid. It all seems terribly familiar. I take a deep breath and reach out to the force to steady myself. Then it hits me!

Of course, oh gods, oh sweet Naomi Sunrider.....midi-chlorians, they need midi-chlorians to live! Midi-chlorians are microscopic life forms that live within our body cells, like some bacteria. And like some bacteria, are beneficial to the host body. Much like trees that produce O2 (oxygen) and live off the CO2 (carbon dioxide) produced by aerobic life forms. So too the midi-chlorians offer benefits to their host. In addition to creating a link to the force, they produce amino acids needed for life, as a waste produce their cellular respiration.

Most organisms were able to create these proteins without the midi-chlorian's help. They just eliminated these midi-chlorian-made proteins through their urine. Naturally, if the organism was under stress, having access to the proteins could be very beneficial, often cutting down the times it takes to heal and repair. It has been speculated by researchers that this was the true reason for the Jedi's remarkable recuperative powers.

Therefore, it makes sense that these sick creatures couldn't make their own proteins, so they had to hunt for it. By attacking the farmers and their families, they would have obtained some of the needed proteins. But by attacking Master Bo'th, they would have gained the powerhouses that create the proteins they so desperately needed. I nodded, now I understand, these monsters were by their very nature created to be Jedi Killing Machines! What other group of people has a higher count of midi-chlorians? Oh sure, it has been rumored that the Caamasi have small amounts in their blood, but not to the extent the Jedi have.

Someone was breeding Jedi Killing Machines! Well, this Jedi is going to kill them first, instead! I turn to look at the incubators. I sigh. It would take too long to destroy every one with a lightsaber. Hmm, there must be a better way? I look back at the computer and finger tap my way through various protocols. Wait, there ... the protocol controlling the pH of the fluid in the incubators. That's it! If the pH goes up and gets too acidic, more alkaline is added to bring the pH down, and vice versa. This is a positive feedback loop to maintain homeostasis. But what if I changed the program and introduced a negative feedback loop? If the pH goes up, the computer would add alkaline, but it wouldn't stop. It would keep adding it until it killed the marmets.

I laugh, as I work on the program and try to get the computer to accept it as protocol. A voice brushes my mind Where are you !? !

I'm okay, but busy! I answer back distractedly. Minutes pass...Yes! it is working! I turn around to look at the incubators, I can feel the death in this room. The mind brushes again Come back now!

I sigh, Yes! My work here is done! I walk out of the chamber, down the trail to join Obi-Wan and Anakin...... Damn, I think as I find myself wandering around in the caves, I'm lost? The voice inside my head echos How can you be lost? You're a Jedi! Reach out for Obi-Wan's mind and follow it back! I snap, that is what I have been trying to do for the past half hour, in case you didn't notice. But it is not working! The nausea and vertigo have returned with a vengeance, I feel so sick all I want to do is curl up and vomit. The voice inside my head replies, It is the blood loss, that damn little monster took more than a pint. Why don't you call out to Obi-Wan to come get you?

I agree, I don't have much choice. I stop to lean against the cave wall, and reach out Obi-Wan help, I'm lost and sick, come get me? I feel a very masculine voice brush my mind Stay where you are, I'm coming!

I nod. To the right of me is the entrance to another chamber, I'll go inside and sit and wait. Minutes pass, I'm bent over on hands and knees vomiting... Damn, where is he! I straighten up and wipe the back of my hand over my lips to remove the aftertaste. I reach out to him Where are you? I'm so sick! Please, I need you! I whimper.

Obi-Wan answers back Almost there, be patient! You'll be okay! I sit down upon a rock and nod, okay, I'll be patient. And that's when I realize there is a buzzing in my head. I was so distracted by the vomiting to have not noticed it earlier. And now the buzzing is getting louder! The buzzing, my early warning system, is kicking in! But I'm so sick, I'm not up to dealing with it! I sigh and reach out to Obi-Wan, Come soon, trouble is headed this way, and I'm sick!

His voice answers back Almost there!

Fine, I nod, soon, he'll be here soon.

But soon isn't soon enough, the buzzing in my head is getting louder, so very loud that I can't hear my own thoughts. I look up and pouring through the entrance way are marmets, dozen of them! And they're all coming for me! All those beady red eyes looking at me with lust! Oh gods, I thought Obi-Wan wiped them all out! Where are they coming from? And as I get up to inch my way back to the wall, I cry out Help me! I'm in danger! A voice echoes back Yes!

I swallow hard, I'm not up to this, what do I do? The voice inside my head answers back Use the force to create a wall, a shield between them and you. Then they won't be able to reach you! I agree, and reach out to the force and think, solid wall, push away the marmets. A moment passes and it is working. The marmets in frustration are trying to break through. They launch their bodies against it and bounce harmlessly off. I sigh, the more stress the marmets place upon the wall, the harder it is for me to it keep up. I don't know how long I can last, the nausea is too much, I bend over to vomit again. Reaching out to anyone's mind, I cry, Help me, NOW!

Minutes pass and the wall is down, I can't hold it up anymore. A marmet breaks through, and sinks it's teeth into my calf. The pain, the agony, cuts through some of the nausea. In one movement I pull out my lightsaber, and cut it in half. Then I pry it's jaws off my leg. I threaten the monsters with my lightsaber, and kill two of the more eager ones. The rest jump and dodge out of the way, patiently waiting. The voice inside my head comments The dream, the dream is coming true! Shut up dammit, you think I didn't notice! For once the voice is silent.

Finally Obi-Wan and Anakin appear at the entrance, with lightsabers drawn, prepared to do battle. Obi-Wan yells across "How are you?"

I answer back, "Sick and trapped!"

He replies, "We'll get you out now!" As he and Anakin work to draw the marmets away, I realize something, they are paying no attention to the Knights? All those greedy eyes are still fixed upon me? But why? And then it hits me, they aren't separate animals, they're clones! The bastard that made them, made only one mutated marmet, and cloned the rest. And as clones they share one mind, a hive mentality. So when one bit me they all learned about my high midi-chlorian count. They all want me! Oh, Gods, that's sick!

Well, I'm not going down without a fight!, I think as I swing my lightsaber and kill two more marmets. Trying to draw the marmets away isn't working, so Obi-Wan and Anakin have optioned for straight out attack. Which I think is good, because while the nausea has gone the vertigo hasn't! It is taking all I have to stand and swing at them with my lightsaber. All I really want to do is lay down and sleep. I hear a shout, and feel pain in my leg, I look down but no? None of the marmets are close enough to have bitten me, then where? I look over to see Anakin slice a marmet off his leg, prying it's jaws out of his flesh.

Then something happens, the marmets stop and sniff the air. Oh no, something is going on, but what? They all turn their backs on me to fixate on... Anakin! They've tasted his blood. And he has the highest midi-chlorian count of any of us! Oh gods, no, they'll kill him! And Obi-Wan won't be able to stop them! He could put up a wall and run, he isn't trapped the voice inside my head reminds me. I shake my head, but he won't and sacrifice me? No, he's working too hard to get me free, to accept me as lost! It won't occur to him it's Anakin that needs his protection!

I make the decision in an instant there was never any doubt, was there? the voice asks. No, I agree, although this is going to hurt real bad. Yes, it will! the voice agrees. I drop my lightsaber, fall on my knees, and pull a vibro-blade from my medi-kit. I take a deep breath, and pull the blade across my arm, deeply. Oh, Gods!!! The pain!!! I look as blood seeps out the cut I've made and down my arm to hit the cave floor.

One heartbeat. I look up. The marmets who had turned their backs on me, who were about to rush Anakin stop to sniff the air. Two heartbeats. They turn around and stare at me with lust filled eyes. Three heartbeats. They fling themselves on me and attack! OH GODS THE PAIN!!!! Millions of tiny teeth piercing clothes and boots into my flesh!!! The pain, my body is on fire, I try to fling them off, to defend myself. But I can't, they have me pinned to the ground!! The pain, I feel my body scream, as tears flow out of my eyes!!! Oh Gods please stop the pain!!!!

And I feel an anger answer me, welling up from outside me. The anger swells up into a storm, killing everything in it's path. It sweeps around me, killing all the marmets, pulling them free from my flesh and crushing them with pleasure. But I don't care. My life energy has been bled away. I am becoming cold, and I can't feel my arms or legs, it is as if they weren't mine. And I don't care. I know I am dying. I can feel my body being moved, Obi-Wan, I am in his arms. And I am awe struck by how beautiful he is, his eyes filling with tears, and I can only smile.

"Damn you, why did you leave me!?!"

"I had to go," I whisper, "it was my destiny."

"But I promised to keep you safe, to protect you!"

"No," I answer,"you promised that I would not die alone, wouldn't face those things alone. You have kept your promise."

"It was a foolish promise!!!"

"Yes, I agree." I can feel myself slipping away, the body I have inhabited for 34 years no longer mine. I sigh, "I've loved you ... never forget...I always will...bye, my ... love."

And the light dims out of her eyes, and she is dead.

" NO!!!!" a voice of torment cries out from a corner of the chamber. Obi-Wan looks up, Anakin???

Anakin attacks, yelling and cursing. "DAMN YOU!!! YOU BASTARD!!! You knew about the dreams for years, you think I didn't know!!! I did, you made love to her every night, and trained her hard for two years, and you still couldn't keep her alive. SOME JEDI YOU ARE!!! YOU BASTARD!!! She was sick, weak, AND YOU LET HER COME, SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN SENT BACK!!! BUT NO YOU LET HER COME AND NOW SHE'S DEAD!!! She cried out to you for help, and you let her die!!! I HATE YOU, YOU BASTARD..... MY MASTER!!!"

He stomps off to the entrance of the chamber, shoulders shaking with rage. He's right, Obi-Wan thinks to himself, she's dead and it's my fault. He looks at the limp body in his arms. If she had left me and Anakin, none of this would have happened. She would be alive, happy and healing somebody somewhere. Instead she's dead in my arms. Clutching her body to his chest, he lets out a wild cry from the depths of his soul.

And the cry reaches out to touch Anakin, cutting his anger in half. He turns to look over his shoulder. Master Kenobi is standing with her in his arms. Anakin turns away for a moment, to wipe back tears on his sleeve. He turns to walk over to Kenobi, and reaches out to touch a bruise on her cheek. His voice is rough with emotion, "It's not fair, she is too young to be dead, and so beautiful ... like Padme. The way her eyes would light up when she smiled. The way she would make you feel all warm inside. I don't understand, how can she be dead? I don't want her to be dead!! I need her still!"

Yes, Obi-Wan thinks to himself, that's true ... how can she be dead? She is so beautiful! The way her eyes light up when she laughs, the way she makes you feel so warm inside, I don't want her to be dead! I need her still...

But all he can do is study the body in his arms and say, "I know, Anakin, I know."

In the corner a spirit lingers. She stands and watches the two men hover over what used to be her body. She feels a trembling in the force and as she turns she sees Qui-Gon approach.

"It is time," he says to her.

"Yes, I know, but will they be okay?" She looks over her shoulder at the men, they seem so fragile to her now.

"They will be. They are stronger than they look, and they have each other...

"Come." Qui-Gon holds out his hand to her.

She smiles and reaches out to brush Obi-Wan's mind one last time.

"Don't worry, I am safe now my love."

With that she reaches out to touch Qui-Gon's hand and she becomes one with the force....

DISCLAIMER: This story is a work of fiction written in appreciation of Star Wars; to promote the franchise and to keep it alive. All characters and settings original to Star Wars are copyright to Lucasfilm, Ltd. The rest is copyright to the author.