Broken

Things couldn't have gone any better. Palpatine knew that as sure as the light side would always oppose the dark, this would be a deciding blow for his cause. Anakin was lonely and dejected, walling off the happiness that taunted him. Palpatine would help.

Palpatine caressed the Jedi Padawan before him, whispering sweet promises of acceptance to the vulnerable young man through the Force. Not love, that was something he would never give. Love was a power he would never give to anyone else. That was fine, raw sex had its own power, and that was what he needed. That was what would win the day in this case.

Just in time Palpatine felt the presence of two people approaching. The Queen and her Knight. Perfect. He quickened his pace, bringing Anakin to a climax with his long practiced skill just as the couple turned the corner. The shock and dismay on their faces, the despair and hurt in their souls, brought his own climax. He withdrew and began acting out his shock for their audience. Just the right amount of flustered and hurt dignity crossed his face as he quickly pulled his clothes together. Even the Jedi couldn't see past the subterfuge because his own emotions were in such turmoil. Good.

Anakin's seed spilled on the ground at Obi-Wan's feet. Amidala turned away. Obi-Wan stood still with a blank expression on his face for a long moment, and then he too walked away. Anakin blushed furiously as he pulled his clothes on. "Wait! Amidala! Obi-Wan!" His voice was that of a broken man, hurt and confused and, ultimately, hopeless.

Obi-Wan put a protective arm around Amidala's shoulder and they turned back for a moment. Neither would meet Anakin's eyes. Amidala found her voice first. "Anakin…how could you? You've ruined everything!" Emotion made her voice raw and choked. She burrowed her face into Obi-Wan's side.

"Let it go Anakin." Obi-Wan's voice was stern. "I don't think anything any of us could say would make this situation any better." They walked away again and this time Anakin didn't try to stop them.

The sound of Amidala's sobs was a knife through Anakin's broken heart, but they filled Palpatine with a thrill of gleeful power. Anakin turned to the older man for comfort. This time he would get it. For now Anakin would get anything he wanted until the hook was sunk deeply enough to be permanent.

Palpatine put his arms around his new apprentice and allowed himself a smile that would chill the winter wind. Everything was going according to plan.

Broken, Part Four--Obi-Wan

Old Ben looked out across the Dune Sea, reflecting on the past as the mirages shimmered their reflections of the clear Tatooine sky. It was the night that the part of him known as Obi-Wan died, the night he was betrayed by the man who loved him. The man he had secretly loved. It tortured him to this day, dreaming of Anakin in that evil man's arms. But Anakin was just as dead as Obi-Wan.

Ben shook his head at the foolish youth he had been, worrying about the opinions of narrow-minded fools who would tell him that his love was wrong. Years of hindsight taught him that love was love, no matter how or with whom it was shared. Love was the light of the Light Side, love was what could have saved them all that day. Instead, fear and shame had dictated his actions and brought them all down.

Why was wisdom only gained by torturing yourself over mistakes long past? Ben knew every move he should have made, every opportunity he had passed up, every word that could have saved them all from disaster. It was too late for any of it. It was much too late to take any joy in learning those lessons.

"Owen, this whole thing was my fault."

Owen put a hand on his brother's shoulder. "I thought it was Vader's fault, Obi-Wan." He was rewarded by a glare. "Sorry--Ben."

He sighed, taking another long drink. "I knew I loved him from the start, but I couldn't just forget Qui-Gon like that. I guess he didn't either, but--"

Silence enfolded them both like a shroud. The memory of Qui-Gon had held him back from doing the right thing. Obi-Wan couldn't shake the feelings of inadequacy that shook him every time his Padawan's beautiful blue eyes gazed up at him. Then for Amidala's sake he had kept his mouth shut when he realized the depth of his feelings. The wedding had been a long, slow torment where he had buried his hope deep within and tried to forget about his apprentice in that light. He had said goodbye to Anakin that day, once and for all--he thought. Instead he used the memory of his secret affair with Qui-Gon to warm him on those cold lonely nights.

Then he had found himself so close to Anakin, just a touch away with Amidala between them. He struggled with the decision to resurrect his old emotions or listen to the excuses he had put around them like a wall. Anakin's outpouring had only increased his defenses against the potential pain. Amidala had helped him move that wall over, opened a door where there hadn't been one before. Palpatine had slammed that wall back into place with one masterful stroke.

"You know how I feel about this," Owen interrupted. He shared a view with most of the galaxy that homosexuals and bisexuals were wrong, but he tried to keep an open mind around his brother. "Why didn't you go back and try to make up with him?"

"I did," he admitted wearily. "It was too late when I tried. He had been hurt too much and had been poisoned by hatred. After what I had done, after what happened to his mother…all he could think of to do was to hurt me back for what I had done. All I could do was take it until it came to blows…and he ended up in that damn pit. I thought that if I had just had a few more moments…if I could make him listen when I told him." He sighed, wiping the grit of the desert from his face. "He stepped off the ledge instead of listening to me. Just like that…he fought and then he toppled back and--" With a superhuman effort he kept the emotion from welling up to the surface, but he couldn't say any more.

"He did that to himself?"

"No, I pushed him. With words if not exactly with my skill with a lightsaber."

The images came flooding back to him, bringing tears to his eyes for the first time in years. Fuck the Jedi training, he finally decided. This was a genuine tragedy and it was about time he let some of it out.

So many excuses he had used to keep himself from that vulnerability again. All those excuses hadn't really worked, they had been the root of the problem in the end. How could he ever forgive himself for what had passed? Only one thing kept him going anymore, protecting the boy from his father's fate and his father's attention. That was the only reason he allowed himself to survive. One day the boy would be grown and able to choose his own path, only then would he be free.

"How is Luke doing?" He had to know.

Owen smiled proudly. "He's a fine boy, strong and smart. He does so well in his classes that I don't know how we'll keep him safe sometimes. I want to keep him from the attention of certain people, but Beru reminds me that we're the ones who taught him to always do his best. I'm so proud of him I could burst some days, but I'm worried too. I want to encourage him, but--"

"I know. You two have done a wonderful job, I think the Force must have had a hand in guiding us to you. Thank you."

"He's just so much like his father though. Bright, curious, talented, strong…I don't know what to do some days. He's even started asking about his father."

Ben nodded sagely, glad he made the choice not to interfere in Luke's life. It would tear him apart to raise the child of Anakin Skywalker after all that had happened. "Lie to him. Make sure he knows that Anakin is dead…as dead as Obi-Wan." He added the last with a wry twist of his lips. "I don't know what the truth would do to a young mind, especially one like his. We must protect him above all."

"You really think he will make that much of a difference?"

"Yoda himself charged me with Luke's protection. I have to trust his judgment in this. The boy could be the last hope of the entire galaxy."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thus ends my tale. May this angst-fest now leave me alone! :) I hope you liked this, and if you got anything out of it I'll be the happiest person you know! :)

Oh yah...criticism is welcomed too as long as it's not a lecture on the evils of being gay or bi...but I can't really picture anyone who would read this having that problem. Thank you all for reading my humble offering, and now I can get on with the rest of the bunnies!