Everything a Chick Needs to Know She Can Learn From Star Wars

• Be careful who you kiss -- you never know when they could turn out to be your brother.
• Always wear lots of lip gloss.
• Be prepared to save your own skin if two men are doing the rescuing. Chances are they'll cut off your only escape route and you'll have to jump into the nearest garbage chute (not good for your senatorial gown).
• Do not discuss things in a committee.
• Always have a new outfit for every occasion.
• Obi-Wan is sooo dern cute!
• Nothin' beats having an old blaster at your side.
• Every hairstyle should resemble a pastry.
• Be wary of men with double-bladed lightsabers.
• Even if you are a Queen, there will always be some man trying to tell you what to do.
• Size matters not.
• Sometimes we need a scoundrel in our lives.
• Always be "charming to the last".
• If you don't want to hold hands with a guy, tell him your hands are dirty.
• Remember: You're a princess. You're brother is only a farmer.
• Never say "I'd rather kiss a Wookie". You never know when one might be nearby.
• You can out-shoot and out-maneuver any man you know in the Rebellion that you lead...but be sure to scream and run when you see a Mynock.
• Lando's not a system. He's a man.
• Never trust a guy who greets you with "Well, well, well. What have we here?"
• Don't over do it (as per Obi-Wan's comment to Qui-Gon in TPM).
• Be nice to slave boys... you could wind up bearing their children.
• Just because a man is frozen in carbonite doesn't mean he isn't sexy.
• When a path is set before your child, only he can choose whether or not to take it.
• If your brother-in-law is a Jedi and your ward goes to study with him, watch out! Your moisture farm is going to get it.
• Red is an acceptable color for a beauty mark.
• Do not condone a course of action that will lead your people to war.
• Do not sign any treaty.
• Don't throw out your old Boussh suit. You never know when you might need it to get into Jabba's palace and rescue someone frozen in carbonite.
• Always fly directly into an asteroid field to lose pesky Imperials.
• When lost on Endor, let an Ewok lead the way.
• Have a devoted body guard that looks exactly like you nearby at all times.
• Kissing your brother is a sure way to make another man jealous.
• Invest in strong styling products for those demanding and complicated hairstyles.
• Never say you hope you'll be there when the guy flying the ship screws up.
• The size and style of your hair is directly proportional to your rank as royalty and your attitude. The larger and more exotic your hair is, the more attitude you have and the higher on the ranking as royalty. To be a queen you must have extraordinarily big hair. To be a princess you can settle for the danish on each ear look.
• Note foul stenches, they usually indicate disaster.
• Men are rarely in it just for the money, but maybe just for you.
• If your promotion is the result of a long distance choking, resign.
• Negotiations are short.
• Watch out for little boys with no fathers, they can grow up to be problems.
• Never underestimate the power of SW.
• When you're not sure whether you're going to kill someone or like them, chances are, you're in love.
• When someone you want kisses you, run away.
• Always have a metal Bikini on hand when visiting a slug.
• When in doubt, Obi-Wan IS your only hope
• It never hurts to know how to use a blaster, especially when being rescued by a wookie and a scruffy looking nerf-herder.
• Having Christmas lights around the hem of your dress is a fashion statement.
• Always have extra clothing on your transport, even if you can't use it to trade for a new hyperdrive. You'll still look great!
• There's no such thing as a bad hair day.
• If you're mad at a scoundrel, call him scruffy-looking. It's a sure fire way to get a reaction.
• Be sure to have a spare blaster hidden away somewhere on your throne. You will never know when you'll have to threaten a Viceroy.
• Remember to keep a few handmaidens around. You might need to use one as a decoy.
• Don't get upset when Darth Maul ends up dead, we still have Obi-Wan!
• Faith in your friends is only a weakness if you're one of the bad guys.
• You can always trust a Jedi who's from the United Kingdom.
• No matter how cute they are, hanging around with guys who are strong in the ways of the Force will eventually lead to trouble from all corners of the galaxy.
• Remember, the only way to survive "road rage" on the highway, during rush hour, is to "concentrate on the moment. Feel Don't think. Use your instincts."
• Big hair = big brains.
• Scruffy-lookin' is as scruffy-lookin' does.
• One will.
• Don't trust politicians.
• If a hunky Jedi knight makes a pass at you and you want him to think you're pure---make up a story about how you had a baby without a father.
• Being held by Captain Solo is quite enough to get me excited.
• Being "Daddy's Girl" is not always a good thing, especially when he's a member of the Dark Side.
• When asked where the Rebel Base is, no matter how you answer it's a lose lose situation.
• White Nail Polish goes with every Royal Gown.
• Take the long way. (It's safer, and a guy with a double blade lightsaber is blocking the other path.)
• My place is here, my future is here.
• Some how, you've always known.
• It helps to have a Jedi nearby when you are in trouble. If you see one and you are in trouble latch on to him or her.
• Be careful of Sith Lords, you never know when one may be your father.
• Don't presume too much--you never know when you're talking to royalty.
• If you feel the need to say "I've got a bad feeling about this," there's probably a reason.
• Hyperspace isn't like dusting crops.
• Space is cold, but Jedi make it warmer.
• With Sith, there are always two--no more, no less--but sometimes you can't tell who's the Master.
• See through you we can.
• It isn't all Obi-Wan's fault!
• Always in motion the future is.
• Your overconfidence is your weakness.
• Don't turn up the heater when you are on Hoth. You'll never be able to dry out your things.
• If it smells bad on the outside, it's worse on the inside.
• Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.
• Be assertive ("I don't know who you are or where you came from but from now on, you'll do what I tell you to!")
• Always keep food in one of your belt pouches. If you run into some cute teddy-bear like creature, it could save your life.
• You take it back; you didn't REALLY want to be around when he made a mistake.
• If a stormtrooper looks too short to be a stormtrooper, he probably isn't one.
• Equal-rights for women disappeared right along with the Old Republic.
• Nothing sucks more than having a guy prematurely fire his torpedos before he gets to your exhaust port.
• At full throttle, Luke CAN pull out in time.
• Be careful, people may be watching your career with great interest.
• Never trust perceptions.
• Even a slave can lead the universe.
• Follow your heart, which may lead you away from the "rules" and your Padawan's beliefs.
• If a man is known for staying in the background, but his clothes are as flashy as yours, he wants something.
• No matter how hungry you are, don't reach for a dead animal set up on a stick it might make get you hung up.
• Leave the Gungan alone for one second...( Self explanantory. *S* )
• Remember: "I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee!"
• He won't always be nine-years-old.
• When on Hoth always wear you're thermal underwear.
• Don't ever talk to a guy named Darth (no matter how cute he is).
• If you're stuck on a slow moving spaceship with a gorgeous scoundrel, turn OFF the protocol droid!
• If you see someone walking down the street looking like Obi, girl what are you waiting for!? Go after him!
• Never talk down to little green guys in swamps...who knows? They maybe powerful Jedi Masters!
• A little faith goes a long way.
• The Force will be with you. Always.
• Always be stubborn and independent--unless your ship is surrounded by Mynoks. In this case, run to the nearest scoundrel.
• Playing hard-to-get really works!
• Always have a backup plan cause mind tricks don't work on Hutts or Toydarians.
• Concentrate on the moment, but be mindful of the future.
• Never let them sense your fear.
• Never make a bargain with a Sith Lord.
• There's always a bigger fish.
• Be careful of bounty hunters that unfreeze you from carbonite. They may not all be "Someone who loves you."
• Never Say "Kiss my Wookiee" to a Warlord.
• Let the Wookie win.
• When you can't get to your transport, there's always the Falcon.
• Go see the sights for yourself and let the decoy stay on the ship.
• Be careful when you trust your son to a Jedi, who knows who he'll grow up to be.
• It's OK to be afraid sometimes, but don't let your fears control you. There won't always be a Jedi on hand to save you.
• Never go near a man with horns on his head and a double-bladed lightsabre who's got an obsession with facial tatoos. He's bound to be trouble.
• Never trust the guys wearing black leather.
• Watch out, there could be people coming through your south entrance.
• Always bring a droid with you. If you encounter alien species who think the droid is a god but think you are dinner, it could save your life.
• NEVER try to handcuff a Wookie (unless you're their best buddy, and they owe you a life-debt.)
• Trust little green guys...help you, they will!
• When asked to leave the planet always look to your queen in handmaiden disguise for an answer.
• If you want to keep your friend warm, stick em in a dead animal.
• There's ALWAYS a bigger hairdo.
• The odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field are approximately 3,720 to 1...but who's listening anyhow?
• Your apologies may be accepted...but you might not live to see it.
• Never trust a dark Jedi who's best friend is the evil Emporer Palpatine; with your best friend and his Wookie's life. You're gonna getting really injured by someone, no matter what!
• If you see a evil looking emperor raise his fingers at you .... RUN!
• If you are going to do something that will go down in history as notoriously evil, never have air vents big enough for anything but a rat to get through!
• The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.