Teline had been uncharacteristically silent this morning. Despite the ban on conversation, we usually whispered together while we sorted spice strands. She'd pull them from the dense fibrous veins that coursed across the cave walls, knowing the substance from the rock it grew on seemingly by intuition. She had been here much longer than I. I had nimble fingers though. That's why they made me separate each tiny fragile strand from the others, dropping them into a quickly filling crate of fluffy, noxious smelling fibers.
The cave stank, our fingers ached, and we were always hungry and exhausted, but the talking helped. Teline had already told me most of her life story of her childhood on Aldivy, her work as a ceramics artisan, and the pirate raid on her homestead that brought her to the mines. I had not told her nearly as much about myself, but Teline was an easygoing person, who did not keep tally. For that I was grateful, as saying too much would have given away my true reasons for being in the mines. She never doubted my tale about an indentured servitude gone sour and subsequent sale to the mines.
Teline was gracious and beautiful in many ways, and least of all in appearance, I'm sure. My fingertips were all I had to go by on that count, but from what I could tell she was tall, a little taller than myself. Her face was broad and so was her smile. Her hair, always twisted up in a bun, was thick. She told me it was the color of Aldivy dirt, and her skin about the same. I imagine an earthy warm complexion for her; perhaps with eyes of a deep caff color. In the darkness of the caves, it was easy to imagine such things, but still hard to avoid touching the deep hollows in her cheeks and the lines that creased her brow. She told me she was 30 hardly old enough for those lines to be natural. No, they and the hollows had been put there by long months of darkness, starvation, worry and fear.
Life in the mines relied on touch. Usually an intimate gesture reserved for close acquaintances, it was now something more critical. In the absolute darkness, it took the place of sight. It connected us to the other beings living around us and reassured us that we were not alone. It was not unusual for people to touch one another's faces while they conversed, as the blind often do, or to brush cave walls and other bodies with one's own hands while traveling through the constricted tunnels. We were like termites, deep in the earth, communicating through the touch of our antennae. Lack of sight was the overseers' way of keeping the slaves disoriented and under control. It allowed them to threaten and terrify us when they chose to bring the light and the sight back with blinding harshness. The overseers could give and take our sight, but they could not take our sense of touch without taking the fingers that brought them wealth. So we used it as we would our eyes.
As Teline reached to pass me a rope of spice I touched her arm, my hand lingering there reassuringly. I could have communicated more through the Force, but I was only using it in a cursory manner these days. It would do no good to give myself away by seeming too perceptive or strong or quick.
"Everything alright?" I asked her. The overseer was far down the line and couldn't hear us. "No stories this morning? Or should we continue that game of Six Degrees of Dietrich Crane we started?"
I could feel Teline shrug before I removed my hand from her arm and went back to untangling spice strands.
"I don't know," she said, "Just not feeling real well."
I glanced up quickly, as if I could catch the expression on her face. Not feeling well was a bad omen in the mines. Too many people wasted away here. Whether it was physical or psychological; a product of deep depression from the darkness or illness from rotting and infested food, there were deaths every day. I'd be counting on that fact to help me extract from this mission someday, but for Teline... I hoped it wasn't her destiny.
"Not feeling well, how?" I asked.
"Just a a stomach thing. Kind of queasy." Teline said.
"Ah. Yeah, that slop they gave us last night made me a little green too."
There was a pause and then Teline muttered something agreeable and passed me another rope of spice. I took it and began coaxing a strand out of the mass.
"What?" I asked. Simple intuition told me there was more.
"I'm not so sure it's the food," Teline said, her voice halting.
"No? Maybe the water then, or the spice, or maybe you caught something. There's always something going around down here. Hopefully it'll pass quickly..."
"No. Thalia-"
I frowned and reached out to touch Teline's cheek, feeling some dampness there that wasn't sweat or cave dew. "Gods, what's wrong, Teline?"
"I think it's a baby."
"What?" the spice strand I was holding snapped between my fingers and sent a spark into the darkness. "H-how? Who? Please tell me it's Gev's."
Teline nearly snorted, but I could hear the tears behind her words. "Don't be stupid. I've been here for over a year and Gev's back on Aldivy. He's probably taken me for dead and nullified our engagement by now."
"No, he wouldn't. But, Teline... are you sure?"
"I've... yes. The morning illness among other things."
"And there's reason?"
"Mhm." I heard a slight sniffle from her direction, but unfortunately the overseer was approaching, his bright headlamp stabbing at our dark-blind eyes. I squeezed her arm quickly and bent my head to my task. I clenched my eyes shut, actually preferring to work blind rather than take advantage of the glaring light from the overseer's headlamp. I heard his booted steps move behind us, pausing briefly.
"Careful there, filth." He muttered lazily, thumping me between the shoulder blades with the end of the prod he carried. "Break too many of those and you'll be retired to processing. That's where we send the clumsy ones. Those pulverizers really take care of the problem."
I bit my lip, holding back my characteristic retort. I had quickly learned that retorts brought more trouble than they were worth. My mind was too busy with Teline's dilemma anyway. I remained silent and picked out another strand of spice. The guard moved on.
"Who?" I hissed under my breath. "Who did this?"
Teline was silent for a moment. I brushed her hand as I took another cluster of fibers from her. She was trembling.
"Him?" I asked, meaning the overseer who had just passed.
"I don't know... one of them. The light..." she sniffed loudly, "The light was in my face. I couldn't see him."
"Did you consent?" I asked.
"Of course not!" Teline nearly cried out. "I would never..." she lowered her voice. "It was a number of weeks ago. The day I spilled that crate onto the tracks and it all got ruined."
"Yes, I remember." I said, mostly remembering the brilliant flash that had gone up as the spice had been run over by one of the ore carts.
"And I was taken for punishment that night. But he said something to the other overseer and he left and the door locked and it was just me and him... and the light." Teline's voice began to crack. "My eyes hurt almost more than what he did..."
"Shhh," I soothed. "You're going to be alright." I started scrambling for everything I knew about pregnancy. I had a long-standing interest in medicine and healing, but hardly felt qualified to deal with this. Yet there were no doctors in the mines. The sick or injured either recovered or died on their own. "We'll get through this," I told Teline.
"I don't want to," Teline said, handing me more spice.
"There's little choice," I said gently, "But it's neither your fault, nor the child's. We'll take it as it comes."
Teline reached over and gripped my shoulder firmly. "Don't know what I'd do without you, Thalia. I'd be so much more afraid."
"I'll do my very best," I said, trying to be reassuring, but inside my stomach twisted. What in the Force's name would happen to a pregnant woman in the mines? How could she hope for a healthy baby? And how could we keep the baby safe once it was born? I tried to block these thoughts out and put my hand over Teline's. As I had told her, we'd take it as it came.
My eyes snapped open and were met by darkness. Of course. I didn’t know why I had been awakened though. I had been in a deep sleep and it wasn’t time for my work shift. People weren’t shuffling from their beds, overseers weren’t shouting or prodding at those who were slow to rise, ill, or dead in their beds. The chamber was relatively silent, except for exhausted snoring and the occasional sound of someone shifting on their straw mattress.
Then I heard a strained whimper next to me. It came from Teline’s bed. I was upright in a second, taking the risk of liberating my Force senses long enough to confirm my initial thought. The baby was coming. Early by a month, but coming nonetheless.
I kicked off the threadbare blanket covering me and scrambled on hands and knees to Teline’s side.
"Teline? Chumani... are you alright?" I asked, finding her hand and her face in the dark. Both were slicked with cold sweat, though her skin was hot.
"No," she panted, "It’s coming. Make it stop."
If I hadn’t been so worried, I would have laughed. "I think you’d like that even less. But don’t be afraid. Just breathe like we talked about and push when I tell you. And try to be silent. As silent as you’ve ever been. Understand, chumani? They mustn’t hear."
Her head nodded under my hand as she tried to stifle a cry. Her poor face was so thin. Too thin to be healthy for a pregnant woman. Though I had tried to give her my own food whenever I could spare it, even slave rations for two wasn’t enough to put any meat on her bones. In a way it was good, since her abdomen didn’t grow as obviously round as most expectant mothers’, but I worried for the health of the baby. We had taken Teline’s bed blanket and ripped two holes in it, so that she could wear it like a sleeveless cloak during the day. This concealed her pregnancy and helped to keep her a little warmer.
I pulled the blanket from around her now and placed my hands on her belly. I could feel the child’s position, a good one, head down, and the tensing of Teline’s muscles as a contraction gripped her.
"Be strong," I whispered as I moved to the foot of the bed, "And Force be with us."
Her labor seemed to progress with merciful speed, and as I knelt with my hands resting comfortingly on her knees, waiting, I surmised that she must have been in the beginning stages since earlier the previous day.
I moved to lie next to her on the straw for an hour or so, singing Corellian folk songs softly in her ear and talking to her. She punctuated my words with spells of quick breathing and muffled cries of pain and effort. I kept her hand always in mine and tried to lend her the strength of the Force. I got up every so often to check the progress and soon felt the top of the child’s head crowning.
"It’s here, chumani. Now’s the time to be strong. You’re almost through. Steady pushes and keep your breath."
"I’m ready," she whispered in return, her voice sounding like a tenuous thread in the silence; one that was suddenly snapped by a long stifled cry.
I twisted the hem of the blanket quickly and passed it to her. "Put it between your teeth and push!"
Teline cried again. I could feel every muscle in her body straining. Once, and again, and again. I felt my hands drenched in hot fluid and the solid mass of a small body slipped into my hands. There was no cry.
"You’ve done it, Teline," I said, trying to hide the quaver in my voice. "A fine, fine job, chumani."
In the dark, I ran my hands over the small body, slicking away the blood and placenta, especially around the face, but there was still no cry. No flicker of the Force.
"What is it?" Teline whispered, if it could even be called a whisper.
"It’s a... it’s a girl, Teline. A beautiful girl, I’m sure."
There was no answer.
"Teline?" I set the baby aside, on my own mattress, pulling the blanket over it like a shroud. I moved to Teline’s side, taking her hand. "Teline? Say something, chumani. There’s time to rest yet, but I need you to tell me you’re alright."
A shuddering breath reached my ears, then words. I had to lean down to her face to hear them.
"If only it were a boy," she said, followed by a few labored breaths. "Don’t let them touch her, Thalia... Don’t let them hurt her too."
"Force no, Teline. I won’t, and neither will you." I struggled, knowing I had to tell her the child had been stillborn. "She’s safe. Nothing can hurt her now."
"Good," Teline breathed. "Tell her about me often..."
"Teline..."
"When I’m gone."
I knew then that it didn’t matter what I told Teline. Let her believe the child was alive. Let her believe I would protect her and carry her from this ninth level of hell. Let her die with that hope. It’s all she had now that she was at the end.
I felt the stinging behind my eyes and the hot tears come to the surface. I bent my head to Teline’s, pressing my cheek to hers. "Doaba ol’val tru, min chumani."
"What’s that mean?" she asked.
"Peace and hope, my friend." I said. "There’s more beyond this. There’s peace and hope, and serenity to outweigh all the pain of this place."
"It must be where you come from, Thalia. You’ve always been my glimmer of peace and hope. I always knew you’d save us."
I couldn’t stop the sob from escaping me. "I wish I could have saved you."
"I am saved, chumani."
The wisp of the Force she had clung to floated away like the last tendril of smoke from a snuffed candle. Only her body was left in the mines with me, and I knew her pain was ended.
Exhaustion, stress, and sorrow took me to a place somewhere between sleep and wakefulness. When I roused again, my internal clock told me it was near dawn. There were things to be done before the overseers came to fetch us for work.
I pushed myself up from where I had been curled at Teline’s bedside. The cold stone floor had done me no favors, but I ignored the chill and ache as best I could and tried to order my thoughts. I reached over and touched Teline’s cheek. The chill was beginning to creep over her body. I arranged her head in a more comfortable position and closed her eyes. The Force was luminous; she’d see light again soon.
"There is no death, there is the Force," I murmured to myself as I worked. "There is no death... there is no death..."
I arranged her thin limbs and draped the torn blanket over her, then turned to lift the baby into her arms. At least they’d be together, finally safe. But when I touched the small body lying on my mattress, it moved, one small arm flailing out as if to capture my touch.
"Great Force," I breathed, quickly reaching to pick the child up and swaddle it in the blanket that had so recently been its shroud. I couldn’t fathom how this child, that had been born dead to all perceptions, was now alive. It was some kind of miracle, but I held it in my arms now, living and breathing.
This makes things much more complicated, I thought, but my hope and sense of purpose had mounted. I nestled the child in the straw of my mattress, praying that it would remain as quiet as it had up until now.
I turned back to Teline and murmured a brief apology as I pulled her blanket away and put it on my own bed. I’d be needing it now. I shifted her legs to one side and set about turning over and mixing the straw of her bed with clean straw from my own. No one must know there had been a birth here. I settled Teline on the mattress again and touched her hands one last time and leaned forward to kiss her forehead.
"I’ll keep her safe, min chumani. May the Force bless you." I left Teline then and turned back to the baby. The living needed me now.
I heard heavy footsteps in the passage outside the sleeping chamber and knew I had to work quickly. Picking the child up, I rewrapped her with the blanket, using the trailing ends to fashion a sling that fit over my shoulder and across my back, cradling the baby close against my chest. I then took Teline’s blanket and slipped my arms through the holes, wearing it as she had and effectively concealing the tiny bundle tied to my front. The child moved little through the process and made only the slightest of whimpers. She was underweight and frail, I could tell that much, and I worried frantically that she wasn’t long for this world.
I lay down on my mattress, cradling the child in my arms and waited for the overseers to come roust my shift. I prayed that my body heat and comforting presence would be enough to hold the baby through for a little while.
They gave us broth in the morning, bread at night. Before we were marched down into the mines, we were ladled out a bowl of putrid liquid. It may have had a piece of meat or a vegetable waved through it at one time, but other than that it had little nutritional value, and it stunk. It was nothing fit for a baby’s first meal, but it was all I had to offer and it was warm. The darkness became something of a blessing as I sat among a hundred other slaves and soaked the corner of a blanket in the broth for the child to suckle. She took it hungrily, which was a good sign. I gave her as much as I could before the overseers shouted "to work!" I swallowed the remaining broth and stood up, adjusting the blanket-cloak around me and falling into line with the others.
I noticed how weary I was as I walked. The adrenaline of the night before had worn me down, and I was already tired and weak from months with little sleep or food. We passed my station soon though and I gratefully sank to my knees next to the crate I was to fill with spice. The line of slaves moved on and left me alone in the dark. Teline’s absence was glaring and I knew it wouldn’t be long before a replacement was sent. But for today I would have to do both our jobs. I searched the wall with my hands looking for a rope of spice, then sat down to separate the strands, turning my mind to thoughts of extraction. Neither I or the child could last much longer in the mines.
It was about half way through my shift, when the overseer made his way past my station. I had one crate of spice beside me and was starting on another. By this time of the day I had usually done around 3 crates, but my inexperience of searching the walls for ropes of spice was slowing me down. The overseer obviously noticed.
"You’re slow, filth," he said, the light of his headlamp sweeping across my work area and blinding me with flashes of bright white. "Where’s your friend?"
I kept silent. In most cases, questions were rhetorical, even if they didn’t sound that way. It was a slave’s best bet to say nothing and keep responses to a minimum.
"I said, where’s your friend?" He prodded me with his boot. He must have wanted an answer after all.
"Dead."
"Hm, dead, huh? The mines take another. Just as well. Women are useless in a place like this."
I ignored the stupidity of that comment and sat hunched, making myself look smaller, while shielding the baby from sight. Be still, be quiet, I prayed silently, hoping the child would obey.
"Women are only good for one thing," he said and grabbed the back of my neck sharply, hauling me to my feet. "Your friend was good for it, how about you? You need a punishment? You are working awfully slow."
I wanted to retch as I felt his hands skate down my back to my hips. I would have fought him, had I been protecting the child or not, there was no question. I had always wondered why Teline hadn’t defended herself, but I had never asked her. As the overseer pressed against my back and his hands moved forward dangerously close to discovering the baby I shifted left and slammed my elbow sharply into his solar plexus. I put the Force behind it, bolstering my waning strength, and did him some damage. He doubled over, gasping for breath, allowing me to scramble out of his reach. I flailed, trying to find a wall, reaching out to touch what was essentially a lifeline. Running in the dark was dangerous, but a wall would lead me through the narrow winding passages safely. The overseer’s headlight was flashing around the chamber, alternately blinding my vision and then plunging me into darkness. It was disorienting, painful. My hand scraped across a jagged wall just as the man’s hand clamped around my shoulder.
"Chulla!" he swore, dragging me toward him. His light stabbed my eyes and I closed them as quickly as possible. It was little help though, as they were forcibly shocked open a second later by a heavy blow landing across my face. I felt something below my eye crunch and searing pain radiated up into my skull.
I tried to drop to the floor, curl myself around the baby that was still lashed to my chest. Take the blows, protect the child, my instinct told me, but the overseer wouldn’t let me go. He used his grip on my arm to turn me, then wrenched my arm up behind my back in a way it was never meant to bend. It forced a scream out of me. He must have enjoyed that. He shoved me against the far wall, watching me hit shoulder first and crash to the floor. Finally, I was able to go fetal.
My conscience faded in and out, my energy focused on shielding the baby. Blows rained down on my neck, back, and legs and I vaguely felt things inside me breaking. A crack here, a pop there; he was taking me down piece by piece. When I no longer bothered to cry out, he brought out his vibro prod and jammed it into my lower back. The electricity convulsed my muscles, and I held on as long as I could before unconsciousness took me. I went out with a silent plea to the Force. Make him stop. Make him walk away. Don’t let him find the baby.
I’m not sure that I would have woken up, if the child hadn’t squirmed. Partially pinned under my body, she fussed quietly and her small hands pinched at the skin under my tunic. I shifted, my head swimming, and she fell silent again. I drifted on the waves of pain, trying to find reason. Counting was impossible. How many hours had I lain here? How many months had I been in the mines? How long until I was scheduled for extraction? I couldn’t even think, but I knew I couldn’t wait any longer. This had to be my call.
Before I’d left the Temple for this mission, the healers had implanted a small tracking beacon under the skin of my shoulder. It was to ensure that they’d find me when the time came. I was to fake my own death and be carried to the mass graves on Kessel’s surface. The tracking beacon would lead Master Jinn to my position for pick up. There was a specific date set and I was to be keeping track of when I would need to enact my death. But the plan was backfiring. I needed to leave now, and I couldn’t remember what day it was anyway.
Groaning, I reached for the crate that was just beyond my reach. I pulled slightly with the Force and it toppled over, spilling spice across the floor toward me. There was a knife in the crate as well; the one we used to pry ropes of spice off the walls. I touched it with my fingertips and pulled it into my palm. I hoped it was sharp.
I ran a comforting hand over the top of the baby’s head, then reached around her and took the knife in my left hand. I shrugged my right shoulder as far forward as I could manage and pressed the tip of the knife into the flesh just below where the tracker was located. I drew it across my arm in a straight line and was surprised that the pain was slight in comparison with that deeper in my bones. The blood welled up and dripped down onto my tunic and I let the knife clatter to the floor beside me.
I faded out for a few moments, then came back to myself. Taking a deep breath, I reached toward my shoulder again and pushed my fingers into the wound I had made. The pain made me cringe this time, but I pressed on, feeling for the hard mass of the tracker within the blood and muscle. When my fingers hit it, I tugged it out. I took the knife up again and, using the dexterity that had served me so well in the mines, wriggled the tip of the blade into chip. I held my breath, hoping that I’d trip some connections and activate the beacon rather than destroy the chip entirely. When it finally vibrated slightly between my fingers, I let out my breath. "Thank the Force." With the last of my strength, I pressed the tracker back under the skin of my shoulder and hoped the bleeding would stop soon. I felt my consciousness drifting again, so I curled myself around the baby, summoned the Force to lead me into a healing trance, and let it go.
In the healing trance I still had a certain amount of external perception. It wasn’t seeing or hearing or feeling necessarily, but the Force provides input to the brain, keeping it alive, while the rest of the body hibernates and works on healing itself. I knew when they came to take me away. The overseer’s lights registered as static flashes of white and black and their hands registered as deep cold vice grips. They didn’t check for a pulse. I was vaguely thankful, though I knew mine wasn’t detectable anyway. They left the child alone, didn’t even notice her, which is all that mattered. I was lifted into an ore cart loud rumbling and sharp jolts and taken to the surface.
More vice grips, more pain, more disorienting jostling and muffled noises, and then silence and stillness as deep as a grave. And the grave was deep. Though their Force signatures were gone, I could sense the almost ghostly physical presence of hundreds of bodies around me, registering as a clammy chill pressing against my own physical being. Perhaps if I had been awake I would have been sick, but in the trance state, the physical body is completely unresponsive to outside stimuli. I could neither smell nor see nor really touch the horror around me and I was thankful for that. I was also thankful for the small sense of warmth nestled at my chest, like the heart I couldn’t feel the baby, something alive.
I let myself drift deeper into the healing trance, allowing the Force have full control. I only surfaced again when something living touched me. In that wasteland of stillness and death, the contact was like receiving a hearty shake, even though the hands were gentle. The Force registered them not as frigid vice grips, but as the warm, light touches of a glitterfly landing on my face and arms and legs. Then I was lifted carefully, cradled in a protective embrace, and carried out of the grave.
My charts say I was in the trance for almost a week and that when I finally did come out of it, I was too weak to end it myself and had to be assisted by the healers. I am not afraid of death. I trust the Force, but to think that it had me so strongly in its grasp and was ready to keep me is a little unsettling.
I remember voices first.
"Thalia. This is Healer Elspeth," very businesslike and firm, "Attendant Relleg is here with me and we’re going to help you wake up. Do you understand?"
Of course I couldn’t respond, but somewhere deep inside I made a vague and unsuccessful effort toward nodding. I felt someone grasp my hand though, which acted as an anchor, connecting me to the tangible world. I felt a little more awake. My other hand was grasped just as firmly and life began to return. The Force flowed; my heart began to beat faster, my blood coursing with more energy, my lungs pulling in more air. I felt like a diver kicking for the surface with my air running thin. I thought gladly of the clean expansive space of the Temple infirmary, of the warm lamps, the comfortable beds, the huge view ports with the endless sky and streams of passing speeders beyond.
When I came to full wakefulness though, I couldn’t see a thing. A momentary panic gripped me and I flailed.
"I can’t see! I can’t see."
Healer Elspeth recaptured my hands before I could get them to my eyes.
"Your eyes are bandaged. They’re not healed yet." I calmed a little. "The light would be too much for them now. Give it some more time and your optical nerves will regenerate themselves."
Seeing that I wouldn’t try to tear the bandages off again, she lay my hands on my stomach and gave them a pat.
"Just relax," she said, "You must get your strength back. Master Jinn will be in later to debrief you on your mission."
I heard two sets of footsteps leaving the room and then the soft whisper of the door shutting. I inhaled deeply, smelling the sweetness of flowers and the slightly pungent undertone of bacta. I tried to enjoy the softness of the pillows behind me and ignore the deep ache that still inhabited most of my body. The quiet beep of bio scanners was comforting and I did relax, knowing I was safe and would be well taken care of.
Healer Elspeth and her attendants came and went throughout the day, offering brief words of comfort and administering to me. I knew healer Elspeth’s voice, but her assistants often forgot to introduce themselves. I came to think of them as male voice, female voice, and possibly Rodian voice. Later in the evening though a new voice came into the ward. I knew it well.
"Ah, Thalia. Are you awake?" Master Jinn asked.
"Yes, Master," I said, my voice sounding tremulous next to his.
"Good."
I heard the door slide shut and a hum as the polarization of the windows was reset. Master Jinn sat down in the chair beside my cot and touched my hand.
"How are you feeling?"
"I’ve... been better."
He chuckled. "I’ll bet." He set my hand down and I felt him lift my head gently, sliding the bandages off. "Healer Elspeth would read me my rights for this, but I won’t tell if you won’t. I imagine you’re looking forward to seeing the world again anyway." He pulled the gauze and the bacta patches away from my eyes.
"Yes, Master," I said gratefully.
"Besides, I don’t know what good it does to keep you in the dark when the whole idea is to get your eyes to adjust."
"It’s something to do with the bacta," I started to explain, but it didn’t matter. I opened my eyes, ready to see what was around me and was rewarded by stabbing pain. I shut them again quickly. Even with the windows darkened and the lights down to a fraction of full power, it felt like someone shinning a searchlight in my face.
"Take it slow," Master Jinn advised gently.
"Mhmm," I agreed ruefully.
"You did a fine job on this mission, Thalia." Master Jinn continued, as I experimented with my eyes. "We were surprised to get a signal from your tracking beacon early, but you did the right thing in calling when you did... Perhaps we were a little too optimistic when assessing the hardships of the mines..."
As he continued, I cracked my eyes open slightly, attempting to keep them open until they adjusted. Slowly things began to take shape and as I opened them farther, the room around me appeared. I had to squint and somehow I couldn’t manage to focus, but I could vaguely see my own hand (to think I hadn’t even seen that in over a year!) resting on my chest, the plastic tendrils of intravenous tubes trailing from my wrist. There was a grey blanket on the bed, and the wall beyond was a light peach color. I closed one eye and squinted over at Master Jinn tan robes, brown cloak, shoulder length brown hair, beard, mustache. I could even make out the rather beakish shape of his nose. I smiled, thinking how I wouldn’t have to read faces with my fingers anymore.
Master Jinn smiled back, breaking off from his rather one-sided conversation.
"I see Master Way-Ott sent you something," he said, standing and reaching across the bed.
I closed my eyes, the movement making me a bit dizzy. When he sat down again though, he was holding a large blur of colorful objects.
"What is it?" I asked squinting against the dazzling array of pinks and reds and oranges. Then I remembered the smell from earlier. "Flowers?"
"Exactly right," Master Jinn said. He pulled one a sunny yellow from the vase and handed it to me, then set the vase back on the table beside us. I rested the flower on my chest, close enough to smell its fragrance and almost see the individual delicate petals. I tried to imagine something that bright and beautiful in the mines, but failed.
When Master Jinn spoke again, his voice was more serious. "I don’t know if you remember, Thalia, but you had something with you when I found you. There was a baby..."
"Oh Force." A million thoughts flashed across my mind at once. How could I have forgotten about the child? I promised Teline. "Where is she?"
"She’s in the crèche," Master Jinn said, "Alive and strengthening fast from what I hear." He paused for a moment. "The bio scans Healer Elspeth performed indicate she’s not yours, but we’d like to know where she came from, Thalia."
I frowned and shook my head slightly, remembering.
"If it’s not too painful..."
I told Master Jinn the whole story. How the baby belonged to my friend, Teline, who had been my only companion in the mines, but who had died giving birth to the baby that was forced upon her. How I’d kept the child from the overseers and protected her, hoping to bring her through the horrors to freedom.
"...And she never made a sound," I finished, "It’s like she knew we were in danger."
Master Jinn smiled. "Perhaps she did," he said, "The crèche attendants have mentioned that her Force signature is strong."
I smiled wearily. "Maybe she’ll be a Jedi then. But whatever she becomes, she’s been very lucky from the moment of her birth."
Master Jinn smiled too. "I’ve never put much stock in luck. The Force takes care of its own."
We sat in silence for a moment and then Master Jinn said, "She’s still young though and we need to take care of her now. She’ll need a name and we can’t keep her from her family if she has one..."
I glanced up at him. "Teline had a fiancé on Aldivy. It’s not really family, but perhaps he’d care to know of her existence."
Master Jinn nodded. "Very well. And how shall we introduce her?"
I gave him a look, though I doubt it came across with the skepticism I was trying for. "You want me to name her?"
"Who better?"
I sighed and thought for a moment, but the name wasn’t long in coming to me.
"Koccica."
Master Jinn nodded with a smile. "Silence," he said, translating the Corellian. "It fits."
"I’m not familiar with Aldivian," I said, "But I think Teline would approve."
A month later I was much recovered. There were still some aches and pains, I still had trouble reading text, and my fingers continued to bear the yellow stain of unprocessed spice no matter how hard I scrubbed them, but I was able to leave the healing wards. I spent many long hours in the gardens and the upper pinnacles of the Temple anywhere bright, airy, and beautiful. In the dead of night, I often woke up in cold sweats with nightmares of the mine’s running through my mind, so I requisitioned a slightly malfunctioning engineering droid named Sunny; the kind that looks like a coat rack with many articulated arms ending in light bulbs for illuminating the undersides and engine wells of ships. He came to understand me well and was quick to activate whenever I woke up screaming, flooding the room with light and reminding me that "hydrospanner torque ratings should never be set higher than those listed as appropriate for the lug nuts being used."
I got along alright, and learned a little about starship mechanics.
Master Jinn found me again one day as I sat in the window of one of the Temple’s many promenade corridors. I was watching a Chadra-Fan arguing with a Gamorrean over a speeder accident in one of the sky lanes outside. I was startled when he spoke my name.
"Thalia. I’ve come to see if you’d be interested in accompanying me on a mission."
I turned and immediately gave him a wary look. "Not if it’s like the last one you took me on, Master Jinn," I said, adding, "With all due respect."
Master Jinn only chuckled though. "No, nothing like that. The Council is sending me to Aldivy to find Koccica’s family. I felt you might want to be represented."
"Of course," I said, without a doubt. It was my chance to tell Teline’s loved ones what had become of her and to possibly bring them a new hope with Koccica. I wouldn’t pass up a chance at paying that tribute.
"I was hoping you’d say that," Master Jinn said, "Because I wouldn’t have a clue where to look for them."
"Aldivy," I said, "Just outside Fallowfield. We’ll look for Gev Fethken. She told me so much about him, I feel like I’d know him on sight."
I stood next to Master Jinn and his apprentice on the dusty road that lead to a small farmhouse a few hundred yards away. Koccica slept soundly in a sling across my chest as she had done before, though she was now plump and rosy and very content-looking. She had a few curls of mahogany colored hair on her head and when she was awake, one could see that her eyes were the color of caff. I thought that she very much resembled her mother, at least as I had imagined her.
"Fethken," Obi-Wan read from the sign on the gate. "At least they make things easy around here."
Master Jinn nodded and started toward the house. "Come along then."
I followed after Master Jinn and looked up to see a man coming out of the house. He wore simple farmer’s garb and a wide brimmed hat pulled down over a thatch of rusty red hair. He had an easy smile and nodded once at us.
"Can I help you?" he asked as we approached. "You’re a fair way out of town, but I can point you back in the right direction. There’s nothing beyond this but crom fields ‘til you hit Drywell."
"Actually, we may be right where we were intending to go," Master Jinn said with a friendly smile. "Are you Gev Fethken?"
"I am," the man said, looking curious. "And you are?"
"Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn," Master Jinn nodded and gestured to his Padawan and then to me, "My apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Knight Thalia Najoqui, a friend of your fiancée."
Gev’s face dropped at that. "I’m sorry? My fiancée? She..."
"I knew Teline Otenya in the spice mines of Kessel," I said, unsure of how else to start. "She told me all about you..."
"I thought she was dead," Gev said, shaking his head, at a loss, "It’s been so long."
I smiled. "She said you’d say that, but she never forgot about you Gev. She loved you dearly."
"I loved her too. I didn’t give up on her. Is she... is she..."
I walked over and put my hand on his arm, in the same way I had with Teline so many times.
"She’s dead," I said, "But she was brave and full of grace through it all." I felt tears come to my own eyes. "She only ever wanted to come back to you, but I couldn’t bring her with me. I couldn’t save her."
Gev put his hand on my shoulder, steadying himself and Master Jinn came over to help him to the porch steps. I followed and sat down beside him.
"I’m sorry," I said, when he has regained his composure a little, "I’m sorry I couldn’t bring Teline, but I brought someone else."
I pushed a fold of blanket away from Koccica’s face and stroked her cheek. She gazed wide-eyed and silent at Gev.
"Her name is Koccica. She’s Teline’s daughter," my voice faltered, as I tried to explain as gently as possible how everything had happened. Gev listened with his hand across his mouth, taking it all in.
"I know she’s not yours, but she has no one now, and I believe Teline would feel that you were her next of kin, her family, despite blood," I finished.
Gev nodded, his eyes a little teary. "If she’s Teline’s then I’d love her as my own," he said, "But I can’t take a baby. I’m a single man, my farm is failing. I’m thinking of moving to the Core worlds soon. I couldn’t guarantee her happiness... and Teline wouldn’t want that."
"I think Teline would want her to be wherever she was loved," I said, "But there is an alternative..." I looked up at Master Jinn.
"The Jedi have discovered that Koccica is Force-sensitive," Master Jinn said, stepping forward. "This means that she has the potential to be a Jedi someday. If you are willing, the Jedi would gladly accept her as one of their own. She would live in the Temple on Coruscant, grow up with other children, and be nurtured and taught the ways of honor and courage and goodness."
"And I’m sure you could come visit her whenever you like," I said, trying to be helpful.
"Yes," Gev said after a few moments, "That sounds like the best thing." He chuckled ever so slightly, "Teline told me once that when she was young she dreamed of being a Jedi. She’d be proud to know that her daughter was on that path."
I smiled. She had never told me that, but I found it amusing now. "Thank you for giving her the chance," I said.
"Thank you for being there for my Teline when I couldn’t." Gev said, "Thank you for bringing me this gift."
I settled Koccica in her cradle in the Temple crèche and tucked the blanket in around her, letting her grab my fingers to suck on. My other hand held a datapad containing my new orders. I was being sent home, to Corellia, to be sabermaster at the Jedi Academy there. Dueling had come back to me only slowly during my recovery, but I had worked hard to regain my former skill and was being rewarded for it. I couldn’t wait to see Coronet again and the Golden Beaches and my family’s vineyard, which would not now be too far away. My only regret was leaving Koccica. I hoped Teline would forgive me for placing her in the protection of the Jedi instead of keeping her under my own watchfulness.
"Master Ali-Alann will take good care of you," I told Koccica, "And I will be on Corellia, if ever you should need me." I leaned down and kissed her forehead. "May the Force be with you, chumani."
=====
"We are not saints but seekers."
---Jedi saying (Jedi Apprentice)
DISCLAIMER: The characters referred to herein are both those created by myself and those borrowed from the canon Star Wars universe. This story was a creative effort for entertainment purposes only. No money is being exchanged, no profit is being made.