Hold onto Moonbeams

PART ONE: FLIGHT FROM THE CAGE
Prologue
Star date 104.654; Galadrian

When the evening falls
  And the daylight is fading,
From within me calls
  Could it be that I am sleeping?
For a moment I stray,
  Then it holds me completely.
Close to home- I cannot stay:
  Close to home- feeling so far away...

As I walk the room, there, before me a shadow-
  From another world, where no other can follow.
Carry me to my own, where I can cross over.
  Close to home- I cannot stay
Close to home, feeling so far away...

Forever searching, never right;
  I am lost in oceans of night.
Forever hoping I can find memories,
  Those memories I left behind...

Even though I leave
  I will go on believing
That this time is real... am I not lost in this feeling?
  Like a child passing through-
Never knowing the reason.
  I am home- I know the way.
I am home- feeling oh, so far away...

(Enya, Watermark, "Evening Falls...")

* * *

I had always known that I was different. It wasn’t a concrete knowledge, but it was enough of a feeling to make me feel isolated and alone.

My parents had never really understood me. They knew that I had what they termed 'special gifts', so for the majority of my development I studied under the great masters, learned the ancient arts. The masters, too, had to acknowledge my strange abilities, which they did. They used me as a symbol, a means of future growth. They tried to warp my thinking to fit into their agenda. For the centuries that I studied under them, I was ever wary of their strange beliefs, and I did not grow close to them, as many of the apprentices did. I remained bereft and alone.

Alone, until I discovered the Jedi.

The word 'jedi' is one from our sacred language, and it simply means 'the seekers.' The Jedi, as I knew them, were a small group that shared my gifts. Our parents, as a last hope, had all placed us in the Temple of Baron’di, in an effort to ‘rescue’ us for a normal life.

We met frequently, trying to absolve the familiar feelings of abandonment and loneliness. We grew close to each other, and formed the family each of us had longed for. At first, our only goal was to learn how to adapt into the life others expected of us, but that did not last long.

Soon, our meetings turned into pursuits of knowledge. We discovered the extent of our abilities, and began to nurture them, seeking out a way to control the energy that seemed to embody itself in us.

My betrothed, Kayden, and I were the first to discover many of our common traits. Telekinesis, accelerated healing. But it wasn’t until the last years of our apprenticeship that we discovered what truly drove us, and found our true potential.

The Elders taught us how to meditate, an advanced state of calm and detachment. It was through meditation that the ancient mystics had founded our civilization and given their prophecies. We found that through meditation our powers were enhanced. At first, we could barely control it. Few of us ever attempted it. We were afraid that it could be too dangerous.

As our apprenticeship was drawing to a close, we tried again to gain full control of our gifts. We began to meditate again, and many of us succeeded. Gradually, we ventured into deeper meditation.

It was the founding of an Order such as our civilization had never before witnessed. We were in the foundling stages of a new era when the first tragedies occurred.

Ta’ri was the first to go. Her meditation had progressed so far that her mind had been separated from her body. None of us were skilled enough, and the Elders tried all they could, but they could not grasp her mind firmly enough to return it to herself. In the end, it took hours for her to die. I was there when she departed. Her terrestrial body fading, vanishing, until only her empty robes were left.

It was then that they turned on us with a vengeance.

Fearing us a threat to their power, we were persecuted. My betrothal to Kayden was dissolved, and the Jedi were disbanded. We each returned to our respective homes.

At first, it was only the Temple that feared us, but as the rumors began to spread, Galadrian itself grew to view us with trepidation.

We knew that what we were living was something great, something beyond our comprehension. So we began our writing.

For a year we banded together, despite the many warnings that came from the lips of well-meaning officials. For a year we wrote, cataloging all of our findings into large volumes. Everything we had discovered, we wrote down. The katas we had created for the furtherment of the state of mind needed for meditation were described with intricate detail. We left behind us examples and instructions. All of us knew that what we had could not be lost... or forgotten.

It was the height of summer time in the lake country of Jenobul, the place where I had spent my childhood, when I arrived. The birds were singing, everything was bathed in a golden glow. The trees and grass spoke of homecomings and peace.

Unfortunately, it was not to last. The rumors had encroached even on my family. My parents were a few parsecs away on a diplomatic mission. No one was at home besides my brother, a brooding young man who had despised me since the moment we met. My instincts, honed by years of concentration, told me to leave, to flee, but Kajri told me that mother and father would return in the morning, so I stayed. I should have known he was concealing the truth.

The next morning, I was wakened by the clatter of something- or someone- rushing through my parent’s home. I knew then that my time had come. Kajri came just seconds before the guards. I snatched up my robes and turned to face him.

"Kajri... we’re family. How could you do this?"

He faced me with a sneer. "It is not I, sister- it is the king who wishes it."

"But-" I protested, but he broke me off with a wave of his hand, signaling the men outside that he was ready. Two large men grabbed my arms and forcibly dragged me from the room, even though I was not fighting. I turned for one look at my brother. "Tell mamai that I said good-bye."

I remember nothing further.

Chapter One
Star date 120.654; Lelan

Cold as the northern winds
  In December mornings
Cold is the cry the rings
  From this far distant shore.
Winter has come to late
  Too close beside me
How can I chase away
  All the fears deep inside?
I’ll want the signs to come
  I’ll find a way.
I will wait for the time to come
  I’ll find a way home.
My light shall be the moon
  And my path- the ocean
My guide be a morning star
  As I sail home to you.
Who then can warms my soul?
  Who can quell my passion?
And of these dreams- a boat
  I will sail home to you.
I’ll want the signs to come
  I’ll find a way.
I will want the time to come
  I’ll find a way home.

(Enya, Watermark, "Exile")

It wasn’t until a thousand years after my exile that I woke from the cryostasis sleep. When I awoke, I became aware of the quiet hum that accompanies hyperspace travel. I struggled to open my eyes, but they remained cold and unresponsive. For long moments I simply lay still, letting my mind adjust. Slowly, my body began to cooperate, and I was able to look around me. Everything was blurry and unfocussed, but things gradually grew sharper. I was on a ship. I reached out with my senses, but could detect no one near me. What I could sense was a harsh cold that tainted everything- a cold that extended beyond the sensation of touch.

As I moved about the ship, I discovered many things. They had packed me away with all my belongings, including a set of the Jedi Lexicon. I fondled the books, noticing that the ink had begun to fade. The pages were crisp and delicate. How long had I been in cryostasis? I searched for clues of what had happened after the guards had taken me, and found that access to the shipboard computer was open. Stored in the databanks of the starship was letters from the other Jedi, government officials, public records of Galadrian, among other things. I scanned through hundreds of files until I found the one that I searched for.

They were sending me to Lelan, a harsh planet dominated by a raging wind and bitter cold. Workers had been sent to prepare a place for me, and the ship was programmed to land on the landing pad and then deactivate. There would be no communication, and no means of escape. I wondered why they had not sent me to some prison planet, such as Kessel, a mining planet that everyone but the damned avoided.

I was not entirely abandoned. They did grant me a connection with my homeworld by the way of news transmissions. The correspondence was sporadic, but I cannot complain. The news journals were the only contact that I had. The galaxy had continued to progress at a rapid rate, and Galadrian became the center of success. The planets were coming together. Ignoring their differences for the greater, and mutual, good. I watched the developments with a candid eye- I was not a part of this.

Word of the Jedi did not come often, but it did come. But as the centuries moved forward, news of them became more frequent. When I did here of them, the little knowledge I gained was through snippets of gossip, but it was enough for me to piece the story together. The Jedi had survived. Had expanded and grown. They were now respected and established on Galadrian, aides in the exploration of the galaxy. But I was alone and forgotten. About four thousand years ago, the transmissions ceased to arrive, cutting me off from the outside world.

Even the Jedi had forgotten me.

I passed the years of my existence by studying the great library they had supplied me with. It was truly immense, the columns of books spiraling up into the lofty ceiling. The array of knowledge was huge, most of it history and the old myths.

In the back of one of the more remote shelves, I found a book of prophecy. It was cryptic at best, illegible most of the time, but I poured over that book for decades. Perhaps I reveled in the challenge it presented, I do not know, but became so familiar with that book of prophecies that I could scarcely think of anything else. It consumed my thoughts until I understood every jot and tittle of the riddles. One prophecy stood out to me:

Alone and forgotten,
The mighty one waits,
Foreknowing her time.
She is trapped in the stars
Abiding her fate.
One moon she will fly
Out of the cage.
One day she will find
The Soul of the Age.

I do not know how to explain that time of isolation. It is a time in my life that I do not wish to remember. I grew wise, perhaps. Although wisdom is something gained through experiences, and I have had none. Grown in knowledge? Yes, although I do not know what good the knowledge of old books is good for.

The most distinct memory I can remember of that time was a growing unease, and stirring of something dark and deep. Something that should not have been disturbed. The Presence inside me grew wild and disturbed, and meditation only served to make it more frantic. Something was calling me away, but I could not respond to its hail. Each day the pleading grew stronger and more persistent until I feared that I would be driven insane.

And then... the cage door opened.

"Master, I believe I have found the location of the disturbance." Jedi Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi addressed the man in the pilot’s chair, his eyes red and bleary from his intense meditation.

"Where, padawan?"

"In the Ley lani system."

"Setting a course. Thank you, Obi-Wan. Your skills in the Unifying Force have come to your aide, this time." The older man gazed up fondly into the younger man’s face, acknowledging again in his mind that Obi-Wan would one day be a much greater Jedi than he. Pushing the thought away, he took comfort in knowing that Obi was not ready. At least, not yet.

"ETA, fourteen hundred hours."

"So, what do you know about the Ley lani system?"

"Small, and the only habitable planet is not very hospitable. The weather compares to Hoth, according to the wind speeds and recorded temperatures."

"Has it been civilized?"

"Apparently, the Ley lani race tried to colonize it, and was fairly successful, but about 18,000 years ago, the race died off. There are scattered evidences of civilization that existed for a time, but no real records of how far they were technologically."

"Good, Obi-Wan. You’ve taken your history courses to heart." The Master teased the ginger-haired young man gently, knowing full well the apprentice’s love of history. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes back in his head, taking his place by the master’s side in the copilot’s seat. Fiddling with a few buttons and knobs, the padawan was obviously fidgeting. A comfortable silence fell on the cockpit, and Qui-Gon did not attempt to break it. Whatever Obi’ was thinking, he would be sure to share it soon.

Obi-Wan abruptly stooped and turned to the man he considered his father.

"Master..."

"Yes, Obi?"

"Why do you think the council sent us?"

Qui-Gon had his own suspicions on the subject, but would rather have his student puzzle it out by himself. "What do you think?"

Obi-Wan smiled, knowing his master’s attempt at another of his 'mind-growing' lessons. "I think that it has something to do with my dreams."

The gift of premonition was not one common among the Jedi, but a few through the years possessed it. Obi-Wan had it. During the past 7 years, the boy had displayed a connection to the Unifying Force that surpassed most others. This connection lent itself to prophesying dreams. As of late, he had been experienced them with increasing frequency. During sessions with a Mind Healer, it had been determined that the Force was drawing him to something. What it was could not be found.

"Logical deducement, padawan."

"But why Ley lani? I mean, it’s not entirely likely that we’d be able to find anything."

"The Force moves in mysterious ways."

"Yes, Master. But..."

"Patience. We will know soon enough."

The young man merely nodded and turned back to the instrument panel in front of him.

One of the numerous mistakes that the High Council had made when they sent me here was to supply me with all manner of information. Including technological manuals. Salvaging parts of the ship that had brought me here, I made a crude replication of an old scanner device. With minimal power, it could scan the sector of space that Lelan was in. Most of the time the screen remained dark and blank, with only the occasional meteor or asteroid to wake the machine up. But this time...

I could scarcely believe me eyes. I was brought out of my meditations by a harsh, metallic ringing, one I had not heard in a few decades. I rushed to the monitor, hope sparking once again. That hope took hold and became a lingering flame.

A ship was entering orbit.

An excited cry leapt out of my throat, and I twirled around in a dizzying circle, happiness filling all my senses. I flung out my joy into the Presence, and it practically leapt to life around me. Someone was finally coming.

I stopped my mad dash around the room when I felt an inquisitive touch in my mind. It was familiar. And yet not. Someone that I knew, or someone that I might have known, was on that ship, and it was looking for me. I responded, flooding the spartan connection with everything that I was feeling. The Other One’s presence seemed to abate for a moment, and then returned with more energy. This time, the unspoken connection became verbal.

/Who is this?/

That was a shock. He had come looking for me... and yet he didn’t know who I was? The controlled manner of his communication spoke of the fact that he was a Jedi...

/I am Jaira Menduliel, daughter of the house of Kanu, exiled citizen of Galadrian./

/Where are you?/

What? He must not have come for me! He didn’t even know where I was... but then, how had he made the connection?

/The planet Lelan. Who are you?/

/I am Jedi Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi./

This was not making any sense whatsoever. He had come for me... but not. He knew me... but not. He was a Kenobi... but not. Obi-Wan is not an Elvin name.

/Where are you, may I ask?/

/I am on the Republic transport Eiros, orbiting above the planet Ley lani./

/Lelan, you dolt. It’s Lelan./

/Hey! I am not a dolt!/

I just let laughter flood his mind before replying. /You may not be, but I would have to see you to be sure, wouldn’t I?/

/You imp!/

/I cannot deny that. I am indeed an imp. Or an Elf. The two terms are frequently considered interchangeable./

/Whatever./

/So... will I be able to meet you, in order to determine that you are indeed not a dolt?/

/Well... we were planning on visiting Lelan, but considering your impish qualities.../ A low chuckle accompanied the reply, and my memory awoke after lying dormant all these years. He possessed his ancestor’s sense of humor and laugh. Oh, I most definitely wanted to meet this paradigm.

/I’ll be good! Honest! My co-ordinates are as follows... 125 point 437 point 985. I will be waiting./ With that, I severed the connection, and for the first time in thousands of years of existence, I prepared myself for the arrival of visitors.

I took great pains in making sure I was presentable. Although my primping made me far beyond the borders of 'presentable'. But could you blame me? Choosing a dress out of the many I had crafted, I rushed myself into it, suddenly becoming frustrated with the myriad of buttons on the constricting bodice. Normally, I would not have chosen this dress, but it was the most formal one I possessed, and a style that had carried great significance on Galadrian. Back home, and I took not the time to dwell on the word, wearing a dress like this meant that the guests were appreciated and welcome. Appreciated in that only for them would they put themselves through the torture of wearing something like this.

I pulled a heavy cloak over the dress and prepared to leave the shelter of my dwelling. The winds outside were ones to be reckoned with.

I approached the room I had termed my 'office', in that it housed all the technical equipment needed for surviving thousands of years. Yes, Elves are indeed immortal, but immortal only in that our genetic and cellular structure is constantly repairing itself, far beyond the capabilities of other species. As long as we were not mortally wounded in a manner that would be impossible to heal, and that we were supplied with the sufficient reserves of compounds, we could live indefinitely. The maximum limit was not known, for none of us had died of old age. At least, not that I knew of, at any rate.

In the office was the replicator, the crude scanning device I had created, some medical contraptions, and a few other odds and ends. I sat down in front of the monitor that sat on my desk, watching them descend through the atmosphere, the green blip growing steadily larger. Finally, the exterior cameras focused on the incoming object until I saw it land on the launch pad. It settled down, the gears grinding to a halt, and I rose to meet my unexpected... and yet expected, visitors.

I rose and made my way to the huge doors that I hadn’t touched for years. I pushed through them, the hinges protesting at my disturbance of their peaceful rest. I squinted my eyes against the biting cold and viewed two forms making their way out of the starship.

"This way!" I yelled, and the wind caught up my voice and tossed it to them. "Hurry!"

They turned at the sound of my voice instinctively, pulling their robes tight in an attempt to stay the harsh wind. I pushed the door open wider, allowing them to brush past me. I pulled the door shut after them, and the sound of the howling wind that constantly buffeted the mansion quieted to a dull whisper.

"Welcome to Lelan." I greeted them.

They turned to me, pulling back their hoods. Their faced were revealed, and I studied them mutely. The tall one had a fierce visage, the harsh planes and lines of his face tempered by an inner compassion. His hair had been brown, but was now graying and brushed past his shoulders. His eyes held wisdom and kind benevolence.

I turned my eyes to the shorter one, knowing instinctively knowing that this was the one that had contacted me. No, he was not a dolt. His eyes, the color of a stormy sea, held intelligence and an innate desire to learn. Fire danced behind the calm façade, fire and ice mingled together. I recognized the look. His ancestor had possessed the same one, and one that I knew well. Kayden had held that same look in his eye when he had presented with a challenge- one he viewed as both duty and pleasure.

"We are honored to be here. I am Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn, and this is my padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi."

I quirked an eyebrow at his title. Master, eh? Padawan I recognized. In the ancient tongue, it meant 'he who wants knowledge.' That probably meant that he was in the learning stage of his training.

"I am Jaira Menduliel. And as I told Padawan Kenobi, I am an exile of Galadrian."

"Galadrian?"

"Ah... my homeworld."

"I see. How long have you been here, then?"

"Around 16,000 years. I’m afraid I’ve lost count."

His expression didn’t even flicker. "I suppose you would."

I motioned toward the library, which was one of the warmer rooms. It’s central location and the fire that constantly burned helped to keep it more comfortable than most of the rooms.

"This way, please."

I led them into the library, opening the heavy, inlaid doors in front of us. "Please, sit. I have prepared some tea for you. You must be cold."

"Yes." They sat, and Master Jinn looked around the spiraling expanse. "An impressive collection."

"Thank you, although I can’t say that it was any of my doing." I handed them the fragile cups, filled with a brew of my best tea. Jinn held the steaming cup to his nose, and smiled. He took a sip, and his smile grew larger.

"This is exquisite."

"Thank you. Now that, I can take credit for."

"I do enjoy my tea."

I set my own cup aside and settled back in the richly embroidered wingback chairs.

"So... what brings you to Lelan?"

"A disturbance in the Force. We traced it here... and from what I can sense of you, you are the disturbance."

"Disturbance?"

"An upset, really. The High Council decided that it was necessary to locate the source."

"You think that I am this 'source'?"

"Yes." He replied simply.

"And what makes you so sure, Master Jinn?"

He leaned forward, his eyes sharpening to two steel points. "I trust in the Force."

I rose, disturbed that my presence could be felt from half way across the galaxy. Moving to one of the bookcases, I searched through the leather-bound volumes and plucked one from the midst of its mates.

"So you crossed the stars to find me?" I didn’t have to wait for him to answer: his words floated in the air before they were spoken. "And now that you have found me, what do you plan to do?"

"If you do not mind, we would take you back to the Temple."

"Temple?"

"The Jedi Temple- on Corascant."

I smirked, amused. These people may have forgotten Galadrian, but Galadrian had not forgotten anything. We had left references of ourselves everywhere: 'Corascant' meant simply 'big home' derived from cora: home; and esanit: big.

"And what would be your purpose in taking me there?"

Instead of Master Jinn answering, he turned to his apprentice. The young man met my eyes squarely. "We need to discover why the Force was calling me to you."

I looked at them out of the corner of my eye, flipping through the crisp pages of the book I was holding. "Why would I need to be at the Temple?"

"The Unifying Force is strong there- it would help me greatly if I could meditate on this with you there."

I nodded. "After you have finished with me, what then?"

"The Temple would care for you, or you could return here."

I didn’t even want to think about coming back here after finally leaving this place. It didn’t even take me a moment to deliberate.

"I’ll go."

Padawan Kenobi smiled for the first time- a heartfelt, relieved grin.

"But first, I must be allowed to collect some of my things."

"Of course."

"How soon do you want to leave?"

"Whenever you are ready."

"So I can take my time, then?"

"Yes."

"Well, in that case, may I offer you a room?"

"We’d appreciate that."

I shoved the volume back into its place on the bookcases and motioned for them to follow me.

They were soon settled in the guest chambers- why the builders of this place had included those rooms I would never fathom. Who did they expect me to host on a barren planet? But I was grateful, nonetheless.

I left them alone to rest and started to pack. I couldn’t bring everything, but I did want to bring some things of my time here. My clothes were quickly packed away in a huge wooden trunk, and I settled down to the task of selecting the books that I wanted to take away. The Jedi Lexicon and my journals fit into a smaller crate, and I mounted the ladders that were set on rails all around the library. I pulled down all the volumes I could find on the ancient cultures and traditions. From the little that the Jedi knew of Galadrian- all that they knew was what I had told them- I was sure that the other civilizations had also been lost.

From what the Jedi called 'the Force', I could tell that something terrible was coming. Something malicious and sinister, yet elusive. I wanted to be prepared for whatever it was, and my instinct told me that it would be disguised in a way I wouldn’t be able to discover what it was for a long time.

Kenobi entered the room, and looked around at the stacks of books I had piled on the floor. "You want to bring all this?"

I looked down, seeing the stacks as he would: he was right. It was a lot of books. I tossed another one down, and it landed neatly on top of a column, directed by my telekinesis push. "Yes." I reached back into the dust-covered shelves to look at a volume that was hidden in the far reaches of the bookcase. The History of Mathematics. Hmm... nope. I shoved it back to join the others I had discarded. "Those are important pieces of literature."

He picked up the one I had just tossed down and read the spine. "Jxapin Mythos?"

"It’s a collection of legends of the Jxapin culture."

"Zhapeen?"

I shook my head at mispronunciation. "You had it right the first time. Accent of the first syllable, slight long i: ‘ey’ not ‘ee.’"

"Jocasta Nu is going to be ecstatic."

"Who?"

"The Temple librarian."

"Well... I could bring all the books. That would be about..." I scrunched up my nose as I always did when I was concentrating. "100 crates... would your ship hold all of it?"

"The Eiros is a Senatorial transport, so the cargo bay is large, and there is the common area. It might, but I’d have to measure it to be sure."

"Do you want to do that now? I’ll come with you."

"That’s fine. Let me get my robe."

While he was gone, I climbed down the ladder and retrieved my heavy cloak, tossing it over my shoulders. He soon appeared, tucking his hands into the folds of his robe. The wind outside was milder than it usually was- but it was still biting and harsh. We ran into the cargo hold of their ship and raised the loading ramp, shutting ourselves in.

I looked around the sleek interior of the ship, marveling at the advance in technology. Everything was smooth and shiny, and the cargo hold was truly immense. Even the supportive bracers were arched and sleek.

"This should be large enough to hold my books."

He nodded. "I agree. Would you like my help?"

I smiled. "Yes, thank you. I’m sure you’d enjoy reading some of them."

He lowered the loading ramp again, tapping on a small panel set into the wall. Snow whipped its way into the hold to quickly melt, and I shivered as we stepped out into the cold.

We settled ourselves in the library to pack the multitudes of books, and soon had them all packed away in the crates. We had talked of everything and nothing, and I had learned a great deal about him. When the final book was away and the shelves were empty I looked up to meet his gaze.

"Thank you for your help."

"You’re welcome." His eyes didn’t leave mine, and I didn’t have the strength to look away. The Force was tugging at me, encouraging me to do something. What, I didn’t know. But I soon didn’t care. The presence that I had grown so close to over the years grew wild and frantic. It was dancing around us, bouncing off the walls, the energy rippling against our skin. Neither of us could speak nor control the power that was embodying itself in us. In a sudden daze, I lost track of time, of everything else besides him and the surge of electricity snapping through our veins.

"Obi-wan! Jaira! What is going on?"

I snapped out of my daze, realizing to late that we were suspended in mid-air. Before I could stop it, whatever had been holding us into place disappeared. We dropped to the floor, and I was thankful for the thick rug.

"Oaf!" I grumbled as I sat up, rubbing my head. It felt full, like it had been stuffed. I glanced around, focusing through the murky cloud that had settled over my vision. With a start I realized the feeling in my head was not from the impact: someone else was there! I cast about in my senses, searching for the invader.

"What happened?" Master Jinn questioned.

"I.. I don’t know." Obi-wan sat up next to me, also rubbing his head.

"Padawan?"

"The Force, master. I think it was the Force."

His voice echoed in my head, and I wondered at it. Both of us understood at the same moment. We turned to each other, shocked.

"What-" We said at the same time, staring at each other.

"You-" We stopped again.

"Stop that!" We exclaimed.

"Blast!" We turned to Master Jinn, and I was wondering what could have possibly happened. Why was he in my head? It was not an entirely uncomfortable feeling, but it was unfamiliar and strange.

"Why are you in my head?" I asked, rubbing my temples.

"Why are you in mine?" He snapped back.

"Wha- I didn’t do anything!"

"Well, it certainly wasn’t me!"

We rose off the floor, our voices rising along with our bodies. I placed my fists on my hips, glaring at him. He crossed his arms over his chest, his jaw set. I stepped closer, shoving a finger into his chest.

"I don’t know what happened- and you don’t either! It could have been either one of us, and you know it." I punctuated my words each time I stabbed at him. He brushed my hand away as he would an irritating fly.

"Stop it, you two." Master Jinn spoke from the sidelines, and I could hear the thinly veiled humor in his tone. I tossed a quick glare at him, then fixed my gaze back on Obi-wan. He didn’t even flinch.

"Whatever happened is not important- you must focus on the Here and Now."

Obi-wan’s shoulder slumped, for this was obviously something Master Jinn had told him many times. It sounded like something Ta’ri would say to me- she always lived in the moment while I was constantly looking either forward or backward.

"The answer will come- in time. For now, I think we should start taking theses crates out to the ship."

"Yes, master." The humble reply did not match the fierce, indomitable spirit I had witnessed a few moments before.

"I just have to get one more thing."

I turned and walked away from the tense atmosphere and headed towards my workshop. The place was a mess- an organized mess, that is. Bits and pieces of long unfinished projects were scattered around on the tables, and the room smelled of oil paints and the bitter tinge of metal.

I gathered up my completed paintings of Galadrian and the other planets I had visited. Each detail I had catalogued with meticulous attention. A whole sketchbook was filled with each member of the Jedi, followed by a description of them, as I knew them. I slipped all of it into a sturdy portfolio, and then went back to the library, to see the two Jedi picking up the crates manually. I frowned at them, wondering why they would wear themselves out when there was such an easier way.

I sighed, exasperated. "Good grief." I muttered under my breath. "Is the loading ramp down?"

Obi-wan looked up, giving me a strange look. "Yes."

"Good." Without really giving it much thought, I picked up each of the boxes telekinetically and marched out of the library and into the storm raging outside. The crates floated along behind me, and I could feel Master Jinn and Obi-wan following. Through the connection that had been forged, I could feel Obi-wan’s incredulity.

Once each of the crates had been neatly stacked and secured, I turned to see the Jedi looking at me, an astounded look on each of their faces.

"Is something wrong?"

"What a frivolous use of the Force!" Obi-wan blurted, his face immediately going red.

"Excuse me?" I looked to Master Jinn for explanation, and his weight shifted as he shuffled his feet.

"We believe that to use the Force only to help ourselves in petty ways is conflictive with the purpose of the Jedi."

I titled my head, waiting for him to continue. When he didn’t, I prompted him.

"And the purpose of the Jedi is...?"

"To serve the Republic."

I blinked, now thoroughly confused. "And how does breaking your back serve the Republic?"

"We put others first- we do not think of our own needs."

"That doesn’t make any sense."

"We serve the Force. The Force doesn’t serve us." Obi-wan interjected.

I straightened, figuring it out. "Eloquently put. However, as long as we willingly serve the Force and obey it’s prompting, it is more than happy to help us. I see no harm in 'frivolous' uses of the Force."

Obi-wan just rolled his eyes, years of training kicking in. Master Jinn, however, was considering the meaning behind my words. I smiled, seeing through him in that moment. Here was a rogue- and someone much like me. An honest, friendly rebellion that would never be caged or controlled.

"Well... shall we be going?"

Master Jinn blinked, breaking away from his contemplation. "Of course. Obi-wan, please show Jaira to the guest quarters?"

Chapter Two
Stardate 120.655; En route to Corascant

The thrill of hyperspace. How I reveled in the feeling of finally being set free from my exile. The crystalline swirls of hyperspace swept past the view port, and I felt as if I could stand there forever and simply watch the ever-changing patterns.

So lost was I in the magnificent beauty in front of me that I failed to sense the presence behind me.

/Beautiful, isn’t it?/

I jumped at the sudden mental contact, and whirled around. The chuckle that was new, yet familiar, filled the air between us.

"Yes." I agreed verbally as I turned back to the plexiglass. Obi-wan stepped closer and watched it with me.

"We’ll be within range of Corascant in a few minutes. The Council is eager for your arrival."

I tried to gulp down the butterflies of nervousness that flitted up my throat. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I appreciated his offer of comfort.

"There’s nothing to be nervous about."

"I know. I’m just... It’s just that the Jedi have changed so much."

"How have we changed?"

"Well, you have certainly progressed farther than any of us had dreamed."

"The Force has guided us."

"Ah, yes. The energy field that binds all living things. We simply referred to it as 'the Presence'."

"Why did you call it that?"

"Because that’s what it was. Is." I corrected myself. "A feeling of something that is always with us. We were scared of it, in a way." I paused, collecting the memories that were scattered through the corridors of my mind. He waited patiently for me to continue. "There were dark sides of the Presence, as well as the good we connected to."

"The Force has a Light Side and a Dark Side."

"Master Jinn told me about the Sith Wars."

"In a way, the War helped to shape the Jedi in a way that nothing else could have."

"I felt it."

"You did?" He turned to me in surprise. I could feel the inquisitive tendril seeking through our bond. "But the battles were not close to-"

I cut him off abruptly. "They didn’t have to be close to me for me to feel it." I knew I spoke impatiently, but I didn’t bother to modulate my tone. I had spent my entire life hiding my true emotions- even from myself. "The Force encompasses all things. I could feel suffering... greed, hate, pain. All these I experienced as though they were my own." I sighed, letting my shoulders sag. "I wanted to stop it all."

"But you couldn’t." He encouraged me.

"No. I could feel the Force calling me, begging me to stop the horror it was feeling. It was saddened by all the pointless deaths."

I could feel his inner confusion as easily as I could sense the vibrations of hyperspace running under my feet.

"Why does this confuse you?" I turned to face him fully, but he didn’t meet my gaze.

"I’m... you have a connection to the Force that far surpasses your training."

"I do not require any further training."

"But..." The single word expressed more than endless phrases ever could have. An inner struggle had been awakened inside him. His memories had been freely shared with me the moment the bond had been formed with me. Even the moments he had forgotten were alive inside my mind. Even if I had had no intention of furthering my knowledge, his memories would have provided me with all the information I could ever want. I reached out and touched the sleeve of his tunic. Information and priceless experience. In a way, it is confusing, to have someone inside your head like that. My heartbeat changed to match his, as did my breath. It took intense concentration to adapt to a suddenly 'changed' body.

"Obi-wan... you have almost completed your training. These last few years will be focused on reinforcing the things you already posses. I have no limits of the mind- I was trained from the earliest possible age to release all those boundaries. Everything you know- even what you do not know, I posses."

"You mean..."

"Yes. It is a skill that has apparently been lost through the ages. It was an ancestor of yours that actually discovered the principal. He taught it to me- and I later perfected it. I didn’t have much to occupy my time during my exile."

"The Council will not like this."

"Why ever not? I pose no possible threat to them. Indeed, I could be their greatest asset."

"That’s exactly it. Their greatest asset was ignored for millennia. They won’t want to recognize the fact of their failure."

"It wasn’t a failure."

"Some of them will view it as such."

My thoughts raced ahead of his, manipulating the clues until they formed a connected chain in my path of logic. The truth can always be found if someone looks for it.

"The Council is made up of the most prominent Jedi?"

"Yes."

"So how will the rest of Order view me? Is the Council simply arrogant, or is it an underlying belief of all Jedi? If it is the former, and arrogance leads to the Dark Side, then I would strongly question their motives."

He did not like my assault on the group that he had revered for most of his life. And he did not like that I was attacking his entire way of life, for, in fact, that is what I was attempting to do. Here before me, this young man would become a figurehead of time. His choices would affect everything and everyone. His beliefs must be called into question. He must reason through situations and make judgments based on the merits of each one. I could see his future stretching out before him: fraught with dangers, choices, whispers of betrayal and the sunlight of pure joy. With a sinking feeling, I saw my own part in the course of the events that would shape his life.

The future is always in motion... the thought echoed through my mind. I pushed it aside instantly, knowing deep down that it was not always applicable. There were times when the Force would have its way. This boy would be just one instrument of its will. Sadly, I hoped that not all I saw would come to pass. Two paths stretched before him: one filled with light and seeming never to end. The other twisted into nothingness, the edges undefined, hidden by shadows.

It was in that moment that I realized the truth: Our paths were inexplicably intertwined. And I loved him. With all the passion and emotion that had been bottled up for centuries I loved him. And just as I realized it, I locked the knowledge away. All that the information could do now would be to cause pain. And his life was going to have enough pain in it already.

Abruptly, I turned away.

Slowly, Master Jinn made the descent into the Corascant airspace, and I felt the butterflies take up their frantic maneuvering in the pit of my stomach again. And since our little 'discussion', Obi-wan was giving me the silent treatment. Or he was trying to sort through the questions in his head? I hoped that it was the latter.

What would happen once we landed? Would I be sent back into my exile as one who could serve no purpose? Would the Council fear and despise me? Was my coming a mistake? Before my trepidation had the chance to become full-blown anxiety, I was glad to see the launch pad approaching closer.

Never before had I seen such a mass teeming with life... with possibilities. Towers stretched into the clouds, reaching beyond view. I reached out with my senses, letting the multitudes of individuals permeate my consciousness, letting them flow around me. I saw the Temple, and a sense of homecoming flooded the air around us. I studied the spires stretching up into the sky, towering above the other buildings. It was beautiful- and more familiar than I would have liked to admit. It looked so much like the palace on Galadrian. Apparently, the Galadrian Jedi had had more of an impact than I had initially thought.

The starship settled onto its supports, and the grinding of gears eventually ceased. Master Jinn arose, and Obi-wan fell into step behind him, the respectful position behind the master’s right shoulder. Inwardly, I did not care much for this tradition. It smacked of the forced obeisance required by the Baron’di priests that the Jedi had once fought against. I trailed behind them as we stepped out of the quiet sanctuary of the ship and into the busy life of Corascant. The bustling activities around me clogged my senses before my mind had the chance to adjust. I wanted to clap my hands over my ears to block out the unexpected noise. Droids scurried about, and in just the few moments that we walked from the hangar to the heavy blast door, three ships left the massive chamber. As we approached, the doors opened more quickly than one would expect from doors of that size.

I looked over Master Jinn’s shoulder to see a few members of what I knew to be the Council from Obi-wan’s memories. The small, troll-like creature was Master Yoda, the oldest and most respected of all the Jedi. To his right was Master Mace Windu, one that I instantly saw to be a man that could not be underestimated. I glanced curiously at Obi-wan. His thoughts had revealed Master Windu to be Master Yoda’s puppet, but I could easily tell that that was most definitely not the case. Windu was one to be reckoned with. His power was one of the secret warrior- a warrior that fights his battles with the weapon of words.

We approached them, and in that moment I saw past the calm façade. They didn’t think that I was their enemy. In a flash I recognized the emotion in their eyes. They respected me. Out of all the possible responses, I had not anticipated this. Loathing, yes. Doubt, quite possibly. But not admiration. That was an option I had never considered.

Master Yoda stepped forward, leaning heavily on his cane and making small grunting sounds.

"Jaira Menduliel, welcome, you are."

I produced a smile that I hoped looked sincere. "Thank you, Master Yoda."

His large eyes studied me for a long moment before he turned away. "To teach us, much you have, hmm?" He let out a small chortle, and I instantly knew that I would like him very much. Old he may be, but the creature possessed a clever intelligence and an almost infinite wisdom. I could learn much from him.

"That is still to be seen, Master Yoda."

I could feel Obi-wan’s laugh in my head, and I darted a quick, reproving glance at him, even as a genuine smile curled my lips.

"We have prepared a room for you in the guests’ level, and we hope that you will consider us your family for the time that you are here." Master Windu spoke, and I tilted my head so I could look at him fully.

"The accommodations are appreciated."

"Once you are settled, the Council will see you." His gaze shifted from me to Jinn.

"Qui-Gon, Lady Menduliel’s suite is 1509. Would you please escort her there? The delegation from Ar’arat will be arriving shortly, and they expect me to greet them."

"Of course, Mace. I’d be delighted."

The dark-skinned man bowed and turned away, setting off for what I assumed to be the Public Hangar at a smart pace, Yoda hobbling behind him.

"Just this way, Lady Menduliel."

I could see the amusement dancing in Obi-wan’s eyes, and I returned the grin he shot at me.

"After you, Master Jinn. And I would prefer if you called me Jaira. I do not really deserve the honor of ‘lady’ "

"Only if you call me Qui-gon."

"I would not have it any other way."

"I don’t believe they elevated you that quickly." Obi-wan said as we exited the hangar through the massive blast doors decorated with the Temple’s symbol.

"It was to be expected, padawan."

I was puzzled by this. "Why? My beliefs about the Force and such are vastly outdated."

He sent me a look over his shoulder, one that clearly read 'I know what you’re doing.'

He sighed, obviously resigned to humor me. "You are one of the first Jedi. That position demands respect. Your knowledge may be... useful."

"If I didn’t think I could be useful, I wouldn’t have come."

As we conversed, Qui-gon led us through an endless maze of halls and corridors. If not for Obi-wan’s memory, I would surely be lost in this massive place. I shifted my luggage from one hand to the other, knowing that my rooms were close. Inside the single bag was my clothing, mementos, and in the case I dragged behind me was the Jedi Lexicon, along with the prophecy book. The Lexicon was important enough to merit bringing it along by hand, and the prophecies were closer to me than anything else I had known. As we passed through a large atrium, I looked around at the huge columns around me. Each was engraved with a beautiful pattern. I looked closer, and suddenly I realized that it was not a pattern at all... in was the ancient Baron’di script that had surrounded me as a child.

"Wait..." I murmured, setting down my luggage and moving over to one of the pillars. Fingering the familiar script, the words sprang onto the screen of my mind. They were from the Lexicon. I turned back to Obi-wan and Qui-gon, who were looking at me, puzzled.

"This is the Lexicon." I told them.

"The earliest Jedi engraved it, but the translation was lost during the Sith Wars. Many of us have tried to translate it, but anything we could come up with was gibberish."

I turned back to the words that I had originally penned, remembering. The bittersweet memories surrounded me, and I closed my eyes, trying to picture the faces that had long been dim. As always, I was not successful. They had been my family, and all I could remember of them were vague clouds. Before I could stop it, a tear slipped down my cheek, and I hastily brushed it away.

"You have the translation?" Obi-wan spoke from behind me.

"In there." I motioned toward my trunk with one hand, the other hand trying to stay the tears that were gathering in my eyes. Through my foggy vision, I read the words that had been the joint effort of my family. Tenderly, I stroked the engravement. I heard the snap of my trunk being opened.

"Is this it?"

I turned to see the first volume of the Lexicon held in his hand, and nodded. "When the Baron’di realized that we weren’t just a bunch of stupid kids chasing after sky castles, they tried to destroy us. We were expelled from the temple, and officially disbanded." I stopped, trying to gather my calm around me, but failing. "But before the government of Galadrian could come down on our heads we wrote down everything we had discovered. Every one of us knew that what we had stumbled on was something that could not be lost."

"You keep mentioning the Baron’di. Who are they?"

"A group of priests dedicated to Galadrian. They wanted to remove all impurities of Galadrian, starting with themselves. The Temple of the Order of Baron’di took on the children who displayed strange manifestations of power. I was one of them."

"Strange powers? You mean Force sensitivity?"

"Yes. Those of us who had decided that the Baron’di beliefs were suspect formed the Jedi. But you know all of that already." I dismissed their questions with a wave of my hand.

"Would you mind if we took the Lexicon to the Library? The droids could input the information into the databanks."

"I don’t care." On second thought, just as Obi-wan was about to snap the trunk’s lid shut; I snatched the book of prophecy out of the stack. "Except this one. This one is personal." I held it close to my chest, and then left them behind, striding towards my quarters without their assistance. I wanted peace.

As I navigated the many passageways, I received numerous strange looks from the other Jedi. Obviously the were wondering why a stranger was wandering around the Temple unescorted, but none of them approached me. I finally arrived at 1509, noting the blank brass nameplate next to the door. I touched the pad that would open the door, and stepped into the virtually empty room.

The main room contained only a small, circular table with one chair, a sofa shoved up against wall, and two doors leading off into a bedchamber and a kitchenette. What attracted my attention was the huge window leading revealing a huge garden below it. The artificial environment of a meditation garden was no less beautiful than anything that nature created on its own. I stepped closer to the plexiglass. It looked so much like Galadrian. I set down my bag on the floor and set the book on the wooden table.

Deciding to explore, I entered the bedchamber. It was smaller than I was used to, and extremely spartan. A small sleeping mattress was against one wall, and a desk was in one corner. Everything besides the bedframe and the desk, which were made out of a warm wood, was a pure white. How could they stand such blankness? Everything was devoid of color, and I hated it.

I was about to head to the kitchenette when a chime came from the central room.

"Come." I called. Obi-wan entered.

"Master is taking the books to the Library. Thank you for letting us use them."

"It’s what they were created for." I sat down on the sofa, and invited him to sit down beside me. I remained silent, and he didn’t attempt to fill the air with pointless noises.

Obi-wan studied Jaira quietly, but she didn’t look at him. Instead, her gaze remained fixed on the window across from them. Her eyelashes grew wet, and her lavender eyes began to shine with the translucent quality of tears. He wanted to comfort her, but he had no idea as how to approach this mysterious woman.

"Have you ever heard of Galadrian?" her tone had the air of remembrance.

"It’s not officially recorded, but old legends refer to a place called 'Galadia'."

She nodded, and he could tell that she had decided to change the subject. It didn’t surprise him. Jaira was very much a woman who could change her mind as swiftly as a storm could arise on Calamari. "So what do the Jedi do nowadays?"

"Well..." he began as he sat. "Mostly, we function as mediators. Bodyguards, sometimes."

When she changed the subject again, he realized that she was running away from something in her mind. Something dangerous. "I suppose the Council will want to see me now."

"Yes."

She stood and preceded him out of the room.

I stood in the center of the Council chambers, Obi-wan behind me, and a little to my right. I had tried to motion him forward, but he had declined. His ingrained sense of propriety would not let him usurp his 'proper' position.

"Jaira Menduliel, the Council welcomes you to Corascant. Although the Jinn-Kenobi team have assessed us of your situation, we would like to hear you tell us." Master Windu began the session.

"16,000 years ago I was exiled by the Republic of Galadrian to Lelan because of my traitorous behavior." I spoke calmly and with assurance.

"How old are you?"

Something told me that they would appreciate exactness- even if I couldn’t remember exactly how old I was. I threw out a number that I thought was close. "I am 16,374 standard years old."

"What traitorous acts forced Galadrian to exile you?" I had expected the discussion to be carried out by a singular individual, but the questions were bouncing from person to person.

"I and a group of other Force-sensitives under the authority of the Order of Baron’di formed a brotherhood. We referred to ourselves as the Jedi. The Baron’di viewed us as a threat to their authority because some of our beliefs conflicted with their teachings. Once we were expelled from the Order, the common people of Galadrian came to fear us because of our abilities. In order to assay the people, the government officially disbanded us. I was the only one exiled, because I was the unofficial leader."

"Unofficial?"

"Yes. I was the strongest among them, and I had forged a better connection to what we had labeled 'the Presence', what you know as the Force."

"What abilities did you gain?"

"Through meditation, we learned various Force-enhanced skills. Telepathy, telekinesis, a low level of mind control, and our physical abilities were also enhanced. Sight, hearing, smell, and physical strength."

"All of you shared these abilities?"

"Well, not all of us. Most of us were afraid to venture into deep meditation. There were a few... accidents."

"Accidents?"

"Yes. A few who tried deep meditation lacked the control to proceed safely. They died."

"So you learned by trial and error?"

"Not exactly. I was the first to try new techniques on many things. Once I had perfected a skill, I attempted to teach it to the others."

"This is what made you the leader?"

"In a way, yes. Kayden actually formed the Jedi. He was the one who led us."

"Then why did they not exile him? He would have been the logical choice."

I sighed. Reliving all these morbid memories was draining.

"His full name was Kayden Kenobi. Kenobi was the ruling house of Galadrian. If the public found out that a Kenobi was part of the 'cult', the government could have very well collapsed."

"They needed a scapegoat."

I nodded my assent. Through the bond, I could feel Obi-wan’s shock. I had not told him about his ancestry. For a moment I regretted the action, but I pushed the thought aside. What was done was done.

"What did you do during your exile?"

"Passed the time. Meditated, mostly. I learned more skills, studied.. There’s not much to do when you’re alone."

"You are shielding your mind from us."

I had known they would eventually approach this subject. As soon as we had entered the chamber, I had sensed Obi-wan let down an outer barrier, but had not done the same.

"Yes."

"Will you not let us feel your presence?"

I did not argue with them. Instead, I let down the mental wall, letting my essence flow into the room. As soon as I had done so, I felt vulnerable. The thirteen minds around me were comforting, in a way, but the fact that they knew my thoughts was disconcerting.

For a long while, no one said anything. I held nothing back, shutting down each of the complex shields. As each one let free my presence, I could see the effect on their faces. The bond I shared with Obi-wan came alive. He was struggling against this outflow of emotion. Everyone around me was shocked for some reason. I glanced over my shoulder at him, and his eyes met mine squarely.

/You are much stronger than they realized./

/Stronger? Stronger how?/

/Your presence in the Force is, well... mind-boggling. I suggest you raise your shields./

I complied, and the former atmosphere in the room returned. Almost the same, but somehow... unbalanced.

"Unexpected, this is." Spoke Master Yoda from his position in front of me.

"Lady Menduliel, we request that you excuse us for a moment. We need to... discuss... some things." Master Windu’s gaze was meaningful as he glanced around the room.

"Certainly." I bowed and exited, and Obi-wan fell into step behind me.

"I move that we bring Jaira Menduliel into the Order immediately." Windu spoke without preamble once the doors had closed behind the new arrival.

"How can we be sure that what she is saying is true? We have no records that Galadrian even existed." interjected Ki-adi Mundi. The master had a strong reputation of being cynical and pessimistic.

The effect that the young woman had had, had not been one of the typical Jedi. Her long, shining aurburn hair trailed behind her, almost touching the floor, held back in a tight ponytail. Her bangs reached past her chin, fluttering over sapphire eyes set wide apart. Her clothing was traditional, if it could be called that, tassels and braided leather hanging from an ornamented belt. A ceremonial dagger and a long, gleaming sword graced her sides. The blue skirt hugged closely to her hips, then blossomed out into a swirling whirl. All in all, she left the impression of one who possessed roguish, impish qualities. Her pointed ears had not been well received, either. Although the Master Jedi aspired to a freedom from emotion, childhood stories held dear cannot be entirely forgotten.

"Padawan Kenobi is proof enough." Adi Gallia voiced her opinion, and there was immediate consensus from the others.

"Even if her claims can be refuted, her Force abilities and the knowledge she holds would be dangerous in the wrong hands." Yareal Poof was forever the realist, his species favoring logic over emotion.

"Yes. It is imperative that she be kept from the Dark Side." The recent addition to the Council, Depa Billapa, rarely gave her thoughts in the Council discussions, but in serious matters, she voiced them, and her opinion carried weight.

"It is decided then. If she wishes, Jaira Menduliel of Lelan will be admitted into the Jedi Order."

Yoda watched the proceedings, content that for once the Council had not blundered into error because of their arrogance.

A young woman, her faced shadowed by her brown hood, beckoned us back into the chamber, and I stepped confidently through the portal, trying not to let my nervousness show.

"Jaira Menduliel, the Council has decided that if you wish it, you can be admitted into the Jedi Order."

Surprise echoed through the bond, and I knew Obi-wan had not expected this. I had, to some extent. The Council, especially Yoda, feared the unbalance of the Force was in part due to a Dark Side user- maybe even more than one. Dark Jedi weren’t uncommon- although not altogether known by the public. The upset was throwing the equilibrium of everything in the galaxy out of place. Order must soon be restored or the consequences could be disastrous.

"I wish it."

"Very well, then." Windu stood, his cloak pooling on the intricate design in the floor.

"Under the power invested in my by the High Council of the Jedi Order, and the Light Side of the Force, I Master Mace Windu accept Jaira Menduliel as Jedi."

I bowed, feeling that this response was appropriate.

"Quarters will be assigned to you, as well as access into the Temple Databank. Housing assignments can be received at the reception desk on the Main Level. We will be... checking up on you, from time to time. Feel free to make full use of any and all of Temple facilities."

Yareal Poof spoke. "We ask that you take advantage of the training opportunities. Adapt yourself to the way of the Jedi. If you have any questions, Master Jinn has made his time available to you."

"I’ll be sure to thank him."

This time, a young woman spoke, one that I could not instantly place. Apparently Obi-wan had not spent time noticing her. "Of course, things such as clothing are merely superficial, but you might find the adjustment easier if you change your mode of dress." She smiled, and I smirked back at her, making sure to keep the grin insolent and impish. That grin had been my specialty as a child. In a way, I had not matured at all. Few elves did. We enjoyed playing and teasing to much, although we appreciated hard work and honesty.

"I’ll keep that in mind." I would. But I had no intention of changing my garments to the more simple taste of the modern Jedi. I was different than them, and I never wanted them to forget it. And I was also afraid of losing more of my identity than had already disappeared. I didn’t want the last bits of myself tossed to wind.

Bowing, I turned and strode out of the Council Chambers, not glancing back.

Everything had changed. As I walked past Ki-adi Mundi, I felt the premonition of foreboding. When I met his glower with a glare of my own, a shiver ran down my spine. Something was not right.

Chapter Three>
Stardate 120.663; Jedi Temple, Corascant

I was soon settled in my new quarters with my training schedule and credit chip supplied. A part of me missed the elegant pleasures of home, and I lingered on the thought. Perhaps I could return and bring back more with me. I held no desire to adhere to the Jedi’s ridiculous teachings. Yes, to want possessions for the simple purpose of owning things was meaningless and could possibly carry dangers. But for me, the objects I had left behind on Lelan meant memories. Only since I had left them did I appreciate all that they had meant to me.

I turned to look over my shoulder at Obi-wan, who was still a little dazed from the hectic day we had just breezed through. I sat down on the stiff, unyielding couch, keeping my gaze fixed outside the window. The sight through the plexiglass was different than I was used to. On Lelan, snow constantly battered the windowpanes and the visage of craggy, ancient mountains rose up as a protection for me. In a way, those harsh mountains had been my only companions.

I let the silence continue, not really caring for the mindless filler of words. I knew his thoughts. Words were puffs of air that carried behind them a tangible essence of spirit. But with our bond, I could feel him better than I could the whisper of language.

But he was not as familiar with me as I was with him.

"What do you think of the Temple?"

"It is... elegant."

"And...?"

I sighed. "Much like home."

"You said my ancestors were the ruling family on Galadrian?"

"Yes. Kayden was next in line to the throne." Kayden was more than a name to me. He had been the love of my childhood, and were it not for the Baron’di we would have married. I would have become the queen of Galadrian, serving my husband for the good of the elfish race.

"Did you know him well?"

I nodded, letting myself smile. "Yes. We were going to marry."

He studied me, his hands going inside his robes. I recognized the gesture. He did it when he was nervous or upset. I sent him a reassuring wave through the Force, and felt him relax in return.

"Am I like him?"

"Very much so. But your eyes are different. His were brown." They had been more than just plain brown. They had often soothed me like warm chocolate or a forest breeze on a summer day. Obi-wan’s eyes were blue and gray and green, they color of a stormy sea. I could let myself get caught up in the tempests of his emotions reflected in his eyes.

"What about personality?"

"Hmm... you differ in some areas."

"Like what?"

"He was more sure of himself than you are. Cocky, almost." I studied him, for the first time comparing him to Kayden. "And you.. you do not seek the same things from life that he did. He sought respect, honor, devotion. You only search for wisdom and understanding. In essence, he was a king, you are a Jedi."

"Do you miss him?"

I pondered his question. "For a long while I did. Longed for him, in fact. But he became king, married, had children. He had moved on with his life, and I moved on with mine."

"How did you know this?"

"The government was seeking peace when the exiled me. They were not heartlessly cruel. I was transmitted news reports and such."

"You have compassion for others, even though they do wrong against you?"

I met his piercing gaze. "It is meaningless to hate."

He nodded. "Yes, it is."

I looked across the practice mats, watching Qui-gon and Obi-wan duel. They had been locked in mock combat for some time now, and I had enjoyed watching them for over an hour. But after a while, I had grown tired of watching them. My interest turned to a young girl in the back corner.

Small, lithe, I could see the makings of an excellent swordsman in her build and carriage. She was struggling through the Stream kata, one of the first I had created to teach the struggling Jedi calm and grace. I tilted my head, watching her make the same mistake again and again. She was supporting herself through the crossward swing on a flat foot and constantly losing balance. My urge to teach overtook me and I crossed the scattered mats to reach her.

She looked up as I approached, and her focus shattered as fear sprang into her mind. I altered my walk and posture to appear calm and sent her a tendril of assurance. She relaxed somewhat, but I could still see the anxiety written in her eyes. I smiled, stooping down to her level.

"Hello. I’m Jaira. What’s your name?"

"Mae-ling." Her voice sounded strangled, her vocal chords taught with the trepidation racing along her nerves.

"Well, Mae-ling. Are you having trouble?"

Jedi were honest. Especially young ones. It would not enter her mind to deny it.

"Yes." She nodded timidly.

I stood. "Show me." Of course, I already knew her error, but it was often useful to make the student analyze what they were doing wrong, rather than being told.

She went through the movements, reached the crossward swing and faltered, promptly falling. She looked up at me, fear gone, replaced by frustration. "See? I can’t do this one right! Everyone else is... and Master Ton is..." tears welled in her eyes. Realization dawned in mine. She wasn’t afraid of me because of my strange clothing, she was afraid of having her life torn apart. She was rapidly approaching the initiate and afraid of falling behind the other initiates.

I touched her shoulder. "It’s alright."

"No it isn’t!" She protested in childish anger.

I stooped to her level again, putting my finger under her chin and lifting her face to meet mine. "Yes, it is." I spoke firmly, without a trace of doubt. It was in that moment that my reward came: she trusted me.

"What do you think you are doing wrong?"

"My foot. Something’s wrong with my foot when I swing."

This girl had gifts. "Good. Try leaning forward, onto your toes."

She nodded, standing and wiping the last of her tears off on her tunic sleeve.

"Go ahead."

She repeated the action, this time heading my advice. The swing smoothed forward into the rest of the kata. She finished, and I could feel her ecstatic joy springing off of her like water from a fountain.

"I did it!"

I smiled down at her. "Of course you did. I knew you could."

She smiled back up at me, and I felt my heart constrict. That simple joy is why I loved teaching. "Thank you."

"I was happy to help."

She smiled again and danced off to join her agemates. I looked after her, pondering. The girl needed to be trained, and soon. Her confidence was faltering, her emotions held back behind a thick wall. She would self-destruct if not guided in the proper path.

"You handled that well."

I didn’t look at Master Qui-gon, but continued to study Mae-ling as she interacted with her peers. She had not sought out anyone in particular to inform them of her accomplishment. In fact, she had not spoken at all. This troubled me.

"She’s almost 8."

I could feel him smile as I ignored his compliment. "Yes."

"She’ll be rejected."

"Isn’t that a rather pessimistic view, even for you?"

"No, I don’t think so. She has talent."

"Hmm."

"You disagree?"

"Well... she is... that is, she doesn’t have control over her emotions. She responds without thinking."

"That is her strength, Qui-gon. Her downfall is that she lets her emotions control her. To deny emotion is to deny your humanity. Your very existence."

"There is no emotion, there is peace."

I let out a decidedly unladylike snort. "Whatever." I scoffed. "That piece of the code is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever hear of."

"But isn’t that an underlying truth of your Lexicon?"

I whirled on him, letting my righteous indignation show in my eyes.

"No! I’ve been alive for as long as the Jedi have existed. Since before the Republic, even. To deny your being will only accomplish suffering, hatred, and self-doubt. Jedi are guardians, are seekers of the truth. If you cannot accept an intrinsic part of your make up, how do you expect to expand beyond your basic knowledge?"

I stormed away, letting my anger show in my erect carriage and clenched fists. I had been at this Temple for two months, and was rapidly growing tired of the Jedi philosophy of life. How had they diverted so far away? I wanted to get away from this place. To feel life around me again. Not this guarded deadness that permeated the marble walls that surrounded me.

Unthinking, I headed towards the only place that spoke of life to me. The crèche had become my refuge, and the children there had grown to love me. I didn’t know what the caretakers there thought of me, but neither did I really care.

My anger lessened as I drew closer to the sanctuary of the children’s play area. I stopped in the doorway, leaning on the wooden doorframe and watched the children play. I let the emotions soak into my consciousness for a few moments.

Tiroda was the first to spot me. "Jaira!" he yelled, and the others looked up. I was soon pummeled by arms reaching around me for a hug. I hugged some, tossed the hair of others. How I adored their childish exuberance for the simple things in life.

"Have you all been good for Master Tirnas?"

They all nodded, their little heads bobbing up and down playfully.

"Good. Do you want to play a game?"

"Yes!" The shouted as one unit. I laughed and immersed myself in the happiest moments of my new life.

I immerged, exhausted, from my hour-long romp with the initiates. They had pulled me from the gardens to the StarChart room until I was sure I would be torn to pieces. I was tucking them in for the night, giving each a soothing pat or kiss. They each, in turn fell asleep, some needing a Force compulsion. They looked so sweet, so gentle, in their sleep. The lights dimmed until only the starlight remained.

I had just exited the crèche area when a voice stopped me.

"Enjoy the children, you do."

I turned to face the one member of the Jedi who I had come to genuinely respect.

"Yes, master."

"Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is." He laughed, and I slowed my step to accommodate his. His gimmer stick tapped out a regular rhythm.

"Think, you do, that by being here, have use, you do not?"

I mulled his question over in my mind. How much was I willing to admit?

"I do not have negotiation skills, so missions are out of the question. I am not a diplomat."

"Ah... but a teacher, you are."

I chuckled. "That is the only function I have performed well, I’m afraid."

"Negotiation class, you will take. Teach young students, katas you created."

I turned to him. "You would give me my own class?"

"Much knowledge, you have. Pass it on, you must."

"Yes, master."

"Arrangements I will make. Notified, you will be."

"Thank you."

"Thank me not. Will of the Force, it is."

I looked down at my Correlian tea, making a face at the greenish brown liquid. People did not know how to make tea anymore, it seemed. I drowned the cup in one gulp, cringing at the bitter taste. The tea I was used to downing each morning had been sweet and tart, unlike this horrible concoction.

"The tea not to you liking, I presume?" Qui-gon sat down across from me, his padawan not far behind. My heart sped up a little when I noticed Obi-wan, and I was sure that it could be heard above the din in the cafeteria. I focused on Qui-gon’s question instead.

"No. It’s horrible."

He laughed. "You should stop by some time. I have some... other types of teas."

Obi-wan shot his master a teasing glance. "Two cabinets full of the 'other types of teas', in fact." Qui-gon swiped at him, while the young man promptly ducked. I laughed with them. From what I had observed, Obi-wan’s and Qui-gon’s relationship was more open and free than most of the Master/Padawan teams. At least they didn’t adhere to all the unspoken rules the Jedi had imposed on him. During my stay, I had come up against a mountainous amount of rules. Rules that I knew must serve some purpose, but as of yet, I had not been able to distinguish the reasoning behind many of them.

Qui-gon turned back to me. "You mentioned Master Yoda offering you a class?"

I set the cup down, making a face at it. "Yes." I smiled, forgetting the tea. "The first good news I’ve had since I’ve gotten here."

"Well... here’s some more. Lady Nu has notified me that the translation of the Lexicon is completed, and your books have all been imputed in the database."

"What are they planning to do with the books themselves?"

"There’s a section of the library where they keep the actual books. They will be stored there."

I nodded. "Good. As long as they aren’t planning to throw them away, I don’t care."

"Now, what about this class?" Qui-gon returned us to our original subject.

"The Council is debating whether I should teach an initiate kata class or an advanced Galactic traditions class."

"Both are suitable. When do you expect an answer?"

"Soon, I hope. Not all of the Council members are taking to me, I’m afraid."

It was true- some of them were starting to consider me the thorn in their side. I questioned everything- and everyone. Not even the newest Knight was exempt from my interrogations. They had told me to adapt- I was just not limiting my inquisitions to Jinn. Qui-gon let out a bark of laughter, for everyone had heard of my escapades. I was adapting to Temple life alright- or was Temple life adapting to me? I had never done anything in my social life without doing it with a great big splash. I had sorely missed this association with people during my exile.

"The gardeners are probably terrorized." Obi-wan said with a remarkably straight face.

I smirked. "Excuse me, Gardener Kenobi... can you tell me why the grass is green?"

Obi-wan’s straight face crumpled as he laughed. "I am sorry, Knight Menduliel, but such things are not for us to know." He mimicked the latest reply from Ki-adi Mundi. I couldn’t help it any more. When Obi-wan pulled his mouth down and rolled his eyes in an impersonation of the stiff Council member, it was my undoing. I laughed until I was sure my sides would split.

I stood outside the Council chambers- waiting for them to summon me into their esteemed presence. A half of me recoiled away from this meeting that was sure to end up as a debate- and the other half rejoiced at the end of this trial. It had taken them weeks to deliberate over this issue, but I was called before them now for their verdict.

I felt alone in this- my intuition told me that Master Yoda was my only friend on the other side of those massive, ornate doors, and I wanted to turn and flee. Nothing but determination held me in place. I especially feared Ki-adi Mundi. It was clear that he did not care for me- that he disagreed with keeping me here. How many had he succeeded in turning against me? I was beginning to receive mysterious looks from the others in the Temple. At first, I thought it to be mere curiosity that prompted the stares, but I was becoming uncertain. Did they view my not only as an outsider, but as an invader?

I wished for Obi-wan’s presence by my side, but he was in classes and could not be reached. I didn’t want to disturb him by our bond- he had an astrophysics exam today, and astrophysics was not his forte. But even Master Qui-gon would be welcome, but he’d been sent away to the Senate. Was the Council doing this to me on purpose?

I shifted again for the hundredth time in the few minutes I’d been in the atrium, and the Twi’lek sitting behind the imposing desk glared at me from the datapad she’d been studying the entire time. I glared back at her, purposely striking up a casual pose. I was not able to maintain the blasé, however, and I straightened back into my rigged stance.

Finally, a beep sounded from behind the desk, and the receptionist read something before waving her hand toward the doors.

"The Council will see you now." She immediately went back to her datapad, and I brushed away invisible specks of dust of my tunic that weren’t there.

The doors slowly opened, letting the light from the curved windows flood the dim atrium. It felt like my trial back on Galadrian- and I didn’t like the comparison. The circle of chairs looked more threatening than the jury and judge I’d faced so many years ago.

I stepped into the room quietly, but even the muted tapping of my boots on the shining floor sounded loud. My heartbeat echoed in my ears, and I fought for control. Ki-adi Mundi was glowering as I met his gaze, and I quickly looked past him to brush over Master Windu’s blank expression so I could look for some sign in Master Yoda’s eyes. He didn’t meet my probing gaze, but traced random patterns on the floor in front of his low chair with this gimmer stick.

Master Windu addressed me, his voice commanding in the silence of the Chamber.

"It is the decision of this Council that you not be given an initiate group to teach. Although your knowledge may be helpful, the Council considers giving you a group could lead to unforeseen chaos. Your purpose here has not been defined, and until it has been made clear to us through you actions or the Force’s leading that you are to remain in the Temple, your position here is considered invalid.

"Furthermore, we request that you maintain no further contact with any of the members of the Jedi Order, and decline from introducing yourself as having connection with us. Your belongings have been taken to a residence in the Senatorial district under the possession of the Alderaani Senator. A transport has been made available to you, and is waiting in the Starport hangar. Your presence here has been considered troublesome and an irritation to the Council. Although some of us may feel some regret, we believe this to be the best course of action for you and the Temple. We ask that you leave the premises as soon as possible."

I remained silent through his long tirade, his every word burning themselves into my memory. For the second time, I was being banished, exiled. I couldn’t distinguish the faces around me, was aware of only the pounding of my heart in my throat and the despair that lashed around me. I brushed away the tears that coursed down my face, angry of showing such weakness before the people that had become my enemies.

"I.." I could not think of what to say. Nothing could express the desolation I felt. "Yes, my masters." I gulped back the tears so I could finish. "I’ll... I’ll be going now."

Without thought on my part, I turned and exited the chamber, trying to ignore the feeling of wrongness that lingered on the stale air that surrounded me. The doors whooshed shut behind me, the lock snapping into place with a dulled click. I looked up to see Obi-wan rushing out of the lift, his face and eyes excited.

"I came as soon as I found out they’d..." He stopped when he saw me, and I cringed at his rapid change from joy to concern. I angrily swiped at the tear trails on my face, trying to obliterate sorrow when he was expecting joy.

"Jaira?" He approached my slowly, his eyes searching. I could feel him access the bond, and as hard as I tried, I couldn’t shut him out. "What happened?"

I couldn’t meet his eyes any longer. I fixed my gaze on a point over his shoulder, tightening my jaw so he couldn’t see me tremble. "They... they, um... they told me to go away."

"Go away?" Confusion furrowed his forehead, and he reached for my hand. I pulled away, knowing that my hands were shaking. I pulled them into the wide sleeves of my decorative tunic, feeling a cold seep into my skin.

"What do you mean- go away?"

"They said that I was an, um..." I fought for the right words. "A burden, with no purpose for carrying me."

"What?!"

I glanced over at the receptionist that was staring at us, soaking up every detail. No doubt she would carry this tidbit of gossip to the rumor mills. I didn’t want him dragged down with me.

"Obi-wan, I don’t think this is the time or the place."

He looked towards the desk. "You’re right. C’mon." he grabbed my arm, practically dragging me to the lift. The doors swooped shut, and he pressed the button for the garden level. I reached for the Star port exit- but he stopped my hand before I could activate the command.

"Tell me." He ordered, his voice clipped.

"They’re right, Obi-wan. I am not a Jedi. I don’t belong here."

His jaw clenched, and his grip tightened. "No! They can’t be right." He brushed away my tears, cupping my face in his hand. "This isn’t right." He said, tracing the tear stains.

"Obi-wan, listen to me. Regardless of what you think, it doesn’t change anything. I still don’t belong here, will never belong."

"You agree with them?" He spat out, his eyes hardening.

I shrank away from the violent churning in his eyes. "I... no, not with everything."

"But you think that you ought to leave, to abandon us?"

I stiffened, anger kindling. "I’m not abandoning anything! There isn’t anything to abandon!"

"You’re running scared, Jaira, and you know it."

My will crumpled, the angry fire snuffing out. He saw the defeat and jumped on it.

"You don’t want to leave- but you’re going to anyway."

"It’s not like I have a choice." I wanted the anger back. Anything was better than this icy despair.

"You always have a choice. I have a choice. I’m coming with you, wherever you’re going."

Shock registered. "You can’t do that!"

"And why not?" he scoffed at my protest.

"I may not be a Jedi, but you are. You can’t give that up. Not for me."

"I’ll tell my Master. He’ll understand and cover for me until this whole thing is cleared up."

"And what if it’s never cleared up?"

"It will be."

I saw the same fierce spirit I’d seen in him on Lelan, and knew I could never conquer his will. He would always do what he knew to be right- the Force help anyone who tried to change his mind. I submitted, letting acceptance replace denial.

"All right."

He grinned, and any shred of protest I may have harbored was dissipated in the sunshine of his smile. He reached around me and pressed the Star part switch, and the lift slowed its descent.

"Glad you agree."

I laughed, but it sounded only partially genuine. "But Obi-wan, you have to promise me that you will come back if nothing changes."

"I promise."

PART TWO:

Maidin 's tús an lae 's fágaim mo bhaile. Tá mo chroíse go brón 's fada ar shiúl m'óige. Oíche 's mé liom féin. Spéartha dubh go domhain, a choích. Ag cuimhneamh ar laetha a bhí gan ghá agus gan ghruaim. Éistim leis an ghaoth. Uaigneas mór, go deo, a choích. Deireadh an turas mór, táim brónach, buartha 's briste. I mo dhiaidh nach mbeidh níos mó, ach, tá sé i ndán dúinn, a pháistí. Is fada anois an lá a d'fhág mé mo bhaile. Níl áthas i mo shaol. Níl ann ach an marbh.

Morning and the start of the day And I leave my home. My heart is grieving And my youth is long past. Night and I am alone. Endless deep black skies. Recollecting the days that were Carefree and happy. I listen to the wind. Great loneliness, forever and ever. The end of the great journey, I am sad, sorrowful, and broken. After me, there will be nothing more But it is our fate, children. Long ago was the day That I left my home. There is no joy in my life. Nothing is left except the dead.

(Enya, single, "'S Fágaim mo Bhaile", "And I leave my home")

Chapter Four
Stardate 120.675; Council Chambers, Jedi Temple

The Council Chamber were nearly empty- only two of the twelve members remained in the circular room. Sunset was approaching over the Representative District of Corascant, and the dieing rays of light bathed the somber room in amethyst and ruby.

Master Yoda stared over the city-planet’s landscape; his small figure slumped more than usual.

"Saddened by this, I am." He spoke to the other senior member of the council, and Master Windu, looked down at the wizened Jedi, his face clouded by remorse.

"As am I."

The slight body stiffened, grew rigged. "Agree with him, you did. Thought Jaira a nuisance, you did. Hmph. Will of the Force, it was, the brought here, she be." He punctuated his annoyance with his gimmer stick, grinding the tip into the ornate pattern on the floor.

"Master... as much as I regret bringing her hopes up, she served no purpose, and I felt no leading from the Force to keep her here."

"No purpose- you say. No purpose for you. Not here for you, she was."

"What then? You must have something in mind."

Master Yoda closed his eyes, reaching into the Force for calm and peace. How ignorant even the wisest of Jedi seemed. "Strong, she is. Need her strength, Padawan Kenobi will."

"Obi-wan? What could Obi-wan possibly have to do with it?"

"Fear, I do, that separating them, dangerous, will it be. Left, Obi-wan already has."

I waited, listening him speak into the small comlink, almost shouting above the din of the hangar.

"Padawan?"

I held my hair out of my face, the gust of wind trying to fling it into my mouth and eyes.

"The Council has banished Jaira from the Temple. I’m going with her until this is straightened out."

"What?!" I had expected the same reaction from the Master as I had received from the Padawan- but was he shocked at the Council’s decision, or Obi-wan’s ultimatum? "Where are you going?"

"To the Senator of Alderaan, apparently. I think he’s offered some type of accommodation."

"I’ll meet you there. Jinn out."

Obi-wan switched off his comlink and clipped it back on his utility belt, then turned to me with a smile. My heart flipped over, and I turned to watch the small transport land in the crowded hangar. It was sparkling and clean, a bold red stripe running across the sides.

"Everything will be fine." He assured me, resting a comforting hand on my shoulder. I nodded. My mind had already gone numb in a response to the shock of again being banished.

"Come on. The transport is waiting."

The door hissed open, lifting up and out of the way, allowing us in. We settled on the plush seats, and the driver turned around to greet us. He tipped his hat, a dark navy plush with an ornate metallic symbol stitched above the brim. "The Senator told me to tell you that you are to meet him as soon as we arrive."

"Yes. Thank you." I leaned back into the seat, letting my head rest on the soft support.

"How are you doing?" He asked me in a quiet whisper.

"I don’t know. I’m just... confused."

"Well, when we meet Master, I’m sure he’ll know what to do about everything."

He placed a lot of trust in the man he considered father. After everything I’d just been through, it was hard to trust anybody. "I’d just like to know why the Senator of Alderaan decided he’d play host."

"We will know shortly."

We completed the rest of the trip quickly, but the wait to enter the parking garage was longer than the trip itself. For all the hovercars spinning around us, it seemed that we should have been inside long before this. The Senatorial Apartments building housed all the representatives from all corners of the Republic, and the building was just as big and grand as one would expect it to be. The influences of the Senate Building had made it’s presence known in the large dome situated at the top of the tower. The most powerful and affluent of the Senators occupied those apartments.

After bumping and jerking around for what seemed like forever, the driver left us at the doors, so I approached the main desk in the hope of assistance. Before I could reach it, a man who appeared to be some sort of security guard stopped me.

"Jaira Menduliel?"

"Yes?"

"Senator Organa asked me escort you to his office."

I looked back towards Obi-wan, motioning him forward. He stepped to my side, and I held on to his arm for dear life. This was all getting to be to much. I wanted some normalcy back in my life. Why did I ever leave Lelan?

The guard coughed, and I returned my attention back to him. "Oh, yes. Thank you."

He snapped on his heel, executing a swift, precise turn and marched to the lift. The ride to the top of the tower was a silent one. I could feel my knees starting to wobble as they would if I was exhausted. Obi-wan was supporting me more than my legs were, and as much as I wanted him back at the Temple where he belonged, I was thankful for his presence here.

The lift door opened suddenly, and Obi-wan made the first move into the posh interior.

"I’ve met the Alderaani Senator before. I think you’ll like him."

I didn’t reply, but watched a man on the far side of the room turn to greet us. I was about to step forward, but seeing his face stopped me in my tracks.

"Bali?!" I cried, incredulous. What was he doing here? I had thought that the Jedi I had grown up with would have stayed with the Jedi, but when I had seen none of them at the Temple, I had assumed them all dead, victims of the Sith Wars. Apparently I was wrong.

"It’s good to see you again, Jaira."

I let go of Obi-wan’s arm, for the first time since coming to this Force-forsaken planet genuinely happy.

"Bali! Oh, mother of catari, what are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same thing of you, but the Jedi Council has already informed me. I’m the Senator from Alderaan now." He opened his arms for a hug, and I gladly rushed into them. Barriers were coming down, but I didn’t care.

"My, aren’t we rising up in the world?" I joked. "Let me look at you." I stepped away to study him. "Ah, you haven’t aged a day, my friend."

"Um... excuse me... you know each other?"

We laughed, and I remembered Obi-wan. I tugged him closer. "Yes. Obi-wan, meet Bali Orthos, 3rd member of the Jedi."

He frowned at us. "I thought you were Bail Organa."

"I am. I was just Bali first."

"I was wondering why the Senator from Alderaan would offer to take me in."

"Master Yoda told me that you had gone to the Temple."

"So why aren’t you a Jedi now? When I didn’t see any of you, I thought you were all..."

He broke continued when I trailed off. "Dead?"

I nodded. He motioned for both of us to sit down on the plush sofa, and I had to stifle laughter when I saw Obi-wan’s confused expression. Bali sat across from us, settling his lanky frame into a chair that looked too small for him.

"Actually, not many of us survived. Those of us who survived the War decided that it would be best if we broke of conditions with the Jedi."

"The Sith War?" I asked.

"No. After Kayden’s wife died, he resigned the throne, making it possible for a democracy to exist. He disbanded the monarchy and disappeared. Well, instead of a peaceful change in government, different radical groups formed and each tried to take over. The opposing groups went to war with each other. Eventually, the conflict resolved itself, but it was too late for the Jedi to step back in. And then the Sith Wars came... most of us didn’t make it."

"That still doesn’t explain why you’re not a Jedi now."

"The Jedi are different today, Jaira. It is not our time any more."

I knew this, but I wanted to deny it. The only way I knew to make myself useful was slipping away from me. The Jedi Council hated me, I was sure. I had thought by confronting the long-held principles of the Jedi, I could invoke some sort of change. But they were growing arrogant, sure that they were right, would always be right. They were so set in their ways that they couldn’t see beyond their noses. They didn’t want to hear what I had to say. Bali was right. I didn’t belong here. None of us belonged here.

I turned mournful eyes to Obi-wan and tried not to weep.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the Star Wars characters - this story is simply for reading enjoyment. I’m not making any money off of this.