Chapter 1
She took two steps back, mostly to get a full look at the towering building.
The building that she had known, traced forever in her minds eye.
Lei'lana always had an extremely good memory, but now she much rather wished it wasn't so very good. She wished to forget, wished to erase the memory that was sure to dig so deeply into her heart for the rest of her life.
She had failed.
Lei'lana Cuspa would be 13 in just two days, and none had sought to chose her as there Padawan. None seemed to wish her at there side. It looked as if that all her training was for naught. And now the feeling of emptiness loom over her heart. She wasn't really looking at the Temple now, her sight had blurred... unfocused. Her eyes never truly accustomed to such abundant sunlight. But to look away, would mean that she my never get to look upon the Jedi Temple again.
Slight reason overtook her mind again and she forced herself, most painfully, to look away.
To walk away from the home she had known for so long.
To walk away, right into someone. The three books tumbled to the floor, and she caught one in mid air. Usually her skills allowed her to catch all three easily... but she was quite distracted.
Two hands reach down and pick up the other two, and so she kept standing.
Staring at the ship that loom in the distance. The (in her opinion) ugly freighter that was to whisk her away to Eckinshia. The planet of her birth, where her extended family wait to take her in... The failure. The ship was so distracting she didn't notice the other person had placed the books back in her hands and was now gazing in the same direction as she.
"I've been there..." his was a thick soft, Coruscant accent. It was thoughtful, and as far away as her own mind. She turned her head, balancing the books that were gifts from a certain Jedi Knight, one she did not wish to think of right now.
She was met by curiously blue eyes, and a ghost of a smile across a handsome face.
"Its not so bad... or so everyone will say. But both you and I know the feelings are... almost worse than the feeling that you've failed." The strangers honesty intrigued her.(as did the fresh scars on his hands)
A cross wind had caught both her medium dark locks, and his padawan braid; standing out against the short cropped apprentice hair style of reddish-brown hair.
"You haven't failed..." His gaze was strong, his presence stronger... and he seemed intrigued by the faint glow in her eyes... The glow that all Eckinshians attain from an ink applied to markings... Like the ones across her cheek.
She found herself finding anything else to look at. Her books seemed the best bet.
Yet one whom trained all there life in the ways of the force... could not ignore such a strong force presence.
Even a girl, just shy of 13 year old could point out a handsome young padawan.
One that seemed to know her deepest feelings....
One that was staring at her...
She pressed her lips together, this was getting awkward.
Composing herself, shields going up... she tilt her head up to the strange young man, squinting some.
"Thank you..."
Her feet began to move, even though her heart was not ready to walk away from her beloved home.
The cherished Temple.
"hey..."
She froze in mid-stride, eyes a bit wide... and looked back. But because she didn't turn her head, she couldn't see him.
what now her mind thought.
But when your heart is pounding, and you feel like you are about to scream of fright, cry from disappointment and laugh at the funny flutterfly's in your stomach... its not easy to keep composed. She turned slowly, her legs crossing a bit... her feet stubbornly planted in the ground.
Her hands pressed her book's tighter across her chest and her eyebrows raised...
"Keep your chin up... your a Jedi, always remember that." Then he smiled lightly, and one thumb hooked on his utility belt he began to walk off... heading down the flight of stairs that lead back inside the temple.
"Wait!" even as the words came out, she cursed mentally word's that were not becoming of a girl her age.
He stopped though, and turned.
"Yes.." he blinked his vibrant blue eyes and squinted a bit from the waning light that pool in from Coruscant's setting sun.
"Thank you..." her voice seemed so light, she almost thought to repeat herself. But louder this time. Yet the smile that crossed his face told her he had heard well enough. He took her in for many more moments then winked, smiled wider and turned... lightly taking the steps and disappearing out of view.
She watch the empty corridor for a long time after he had gone. Letting The wind wick at her hair freely. Finally she realized it was getting later and she should check in. She knew stepping away would be painful. It was... but it wasn't as bad as she first thought. And the second step was much easier, and the ones after that. She took a cleansing breath, and the painful tightness in her chest released. Allowed her to breathe... allowed her to do what she thought the impossible. To move forward.
She took the ramp up, and found her way inside. Her data pad in hand, Three books in the other. The ship was larger on approach than it had been from far away. And inside it was cluttered with many crates and different species moving about there business.
She was trying to keep track of the numbers on the doors that she was almost trampled by a particularly large Tybis and her foal. The creature snorted and shook its furry neck... apparently un-nerved by a barking noise that was coming from the room across from them.
barking? Ohhh she gaze up and realized this indeed was the room she had been looking for. Inside were simple small quarters, but a crate propped on the floor was what made her smile.
She drop the pack from her shoulders and place the books on the bed. Standing next to the large crate, she pull open the top. Sunil shot out, his claws scraping sloppily on the smooth floor.
He barked and chittered loudly at finally being let free, and instantly took to exploring his surroundings. For a few moments Lei'lana sat on the sleep cot and watch him. He was sniffing around and from the mental image she could pull... He was looking for Bant.
A simple piece of paper had been lying on the sleeping cot, and she read it.
"He likes his ears scratched. Watch out for all your shiny objects, and please give him a hug from me every day.." she turned the slight piece of paper over in her hands. "Keep your chin up..." and it was signed "Bant Eerin" at the bottom.
funny she thought, that's the second person today to tell her to keep her chin up.
The Calamarian girl that was a bit older than she, and had asked her to take him with her. He was to a native of Eckinshia... he would be free there.
It had been quite painful for Bant to give away her much loved pet. But she knew it was for the best... he had just been out of control. And didn't seem to fit in much. Maybe that's why she was being sent away to. Maybe she just didn't belong.
She had seen those whom had behavior problems kept in the temple, found by Masters and made apprentice of all sorts. She had never been in trouble... never not even once. She tried her best, got good marks in her studies. She had tried her best to understand what was needed of her. She got along with her classmates and teachers, and she loved the temple.
What was wrong with her.
Why hadn't Master Mishnari wanted her. She felt the pull, she was sure Master Mishnari felt it to. I mean, she's a Jedi Knight! Was she just going crazy?
The Knight seemed to be interested in her. They talked much in the last few days. Jandra even ate a meal or two with her. She gave her assignments to complete and checked up on her grades.
Lei'lana was sure Jandra was the one. It was the same feeling she had gotten when she completed her saber and chose the stone in which to go inside. As if the work had a purpose and now it had a core. But this had been much, much stronger; as if someone stood in front of her and spoke saying "This is whom is to be your Master" It wasn't to be though it seemed.
Last Night, Knight Mishnari came to say goodbye, giving her three books. One on field healing of many species. One that was a reference of ancient creatures of many known planets... it had bright color pictures. And one was a book of well known tales from many different worlds. She told her she would be taking more missions, and then left.
Lei'lana loved books. A new book was like an undiscovered world. And besides her school books, the few they were required to study. She had not owned any of her own. These were her first. But as she tearfully looked at them, she wished Jandra Mishnari had never given them to her. What good was an interesting book, when she didn't have Knight Mishnari to discuss them with. It was unfair to tease her that way.
She accepted that she had to go away. She had accepted that she had failed to become a Padawan as she so worked toward. She wasn't a bad person... it wasn't fair to be so cruel as to give her something she would want to share with the woman whom she thought was her new friend. Her new best friend...
Her new master.
Jandra treated her like an adult, she didn't speak down to her. Even if it was to comfort her. She spoke to her evenly, truthfully. Or so Lei'lana thought.
She could feel the tell tale tingle across the skin the markings were forever placed upon. And in the dark room, the glow of her eyes was illuminating as she fought back tears. Eckinshian markings got brighter and even seemed to glow when there beholder was emotional, or excited. Sunil's head rested across her knee, he had been watching her for a long time. His sigh was so humanoid like. Her hand scratched his soft ears.
A look at her chrono and she knew they were a short time away from takeoff. She knew it was best to let whoever was in charge of her... know that she was here. Above her whirl of emotion and confusion from Knight Mishnari's decision... or lack of one, one more think kept her wondering.
Who was that young padawan.
It had taken Obi-Wan a long time to reach his quarters. A lot longer than it should have. But luckily he was in no rush.
He had opted for taking the long way back to there rooms. He simply had to drop off Qui-Gon's newest "pathetic lifeform". A feisty Mishalope. It was odd to find such a creature in the port of Atxerri... But then again, it was often said that almost everything can be found on Atxerri. And oddity often followed His master. Followed and latched on to and was taken home by his Master.
Or in this case purchased from a deplorable situation. Even Obi-Wan had felt quite sorry for the malnourished creature. And so he had helped feed her back to health while they were in there quarters.
He even bathed her.
"Nina" did not like water, not at all.
Whoever heard of Naming a Mishalope "Nina"?
"She looks like a Nina" Qui-Gon had stated with an accomplished smile. The still damp animal clinging to his shoulder.
But when Obi-Wan was alone with "Miss Nina" as Qui-Gon had taken to calling her. "Miss Nina" was not as peaceful. She didn't seem to like him much.
"Mishalopes are kind quiet creatures Obi-Wan, just take her to the gardens..." Someone had lied to his Master, and the scratches on his back, hands and arms proved as much.
He did of course what had been asked of him, Miss Nina clinging on to his shoulder painfully and making that annoying grinding noise Mishalopes made. At least she didn't opt to go for his padawan braid this time around. Last time she wouldn't let go till Qui-Gon returned with there dinner. Soon it became apparent that no simple task in his life was ever simple.
Mishalopes did not like Moochers. Moochers were curious and pushy. This one bright yellow and green tinted moocher stare up at Obi-Wan with bright orange eyes. It moved about him, following the Mishalope curiously as she climb from Obi's shoulders to his back... trying to escape the inspection of the stranger. Mishalopes did not like new comers, and apparently... they did not like to be touched either.
She crawl down to his lower back, her tail wrapped around his arm as she hung down to smell the strange thing. But when it apparently touched her she let out a high pitched screech.
The moocher, frightened by the horrid noise decided that latching on to Obi-wan's Leg was the wisest thing. Miss Nina scattered up Obi's back, digging her nails into his skin and wrapped her tail around his neck... In an attempt to hide down his tunic. Her body created a large lump in his tunic material, and her claws on his bare back were sure to make nice scratches for Obi-Wan to treat later. It was a futile attempt to reach over or behind him to get her out, for the more he pulled the harder she gripped... the louder she screeched... the tighter the bloody moochers grip got, his tail now wrapped around Obi-Wan's other Leg.
Obi-Wan would have laughed at what he knew was a scene you couldn't write to be funnier... but Miss Ninas prehensile tail was cutting of his air.
To his relief her screeches alerted some of the keepers and they rescued him from both terrified creatures.
Miss Nina didn't seem to want to go away, making one last attempt at staying with that which was familiar. She clawed into Obi-Wan's hands. But finally with aid of a force suggestion... Miss Ninas screeches died down, and she took solace on the shoulder of one of the keepers.
And the moocher was lead away by the promise of a bit of food from another. He could see the twinkle in the keepers eye. Obi-Wan gave him a look and nothing was said in light of the incident. He had enough of animals for one day and walked quickly away from the Animal gardens. Cutting cross the hangar to make his trip shorter.
His hands were scratched across the top, and his back he knew was worse. But at least they weren't very visible. The one on his thumb was quite nasty though, now that he recalled though all the chaos...
Did Miss Nina bite him?
He was a bit distracted and to his dismay, ran right into another student. She had been holding three books, and one she caught deftly... but the other two tumbled to the floor. And so he reach down to retrieve them, it had been his error after all. He had not been paying attention.
One book seemed to be on the subject of "Ancient Animal Species of Many Planets", and the other "Field Healing on Many Species". Interesting subject matters, especially in that combination. He smiled, so he wasn't the only one who liked to mix it up when it came to leisurely reading. He straighten out and began to place the books back in her hand, but she was not paying attention. Her head was turned, and across her cheek was a curious set of tribal like markings.
He had seen something similar but once before. On an Elder Padawan named Seiko. He was from a planet called "Eckin... something or other". But he too had greenish blue tattoo markings on his face. Obi wondered if this girl had the same eyes. He followed her gaze to a freighter...
uh oh he thought, he knew what this was about. The memories came back stronger than they had since it happened.
It seemed to long ago when he stood on this same platform, looking back at the Temple before he was sent away. And the lack of a padawan braid on her only made him sure this to was her fate. He watch her for a long while, remembering. Knowing and even feeling a hint again of what she felt. Perhaps that's why he was so compelled to give her the only few words of advice he had. One's from experience.
"I've been there.." he admitted. She looked at him finally, and as he thought her eyes held a stunning aqua glow that luminate them.
He wondered if he should go on, but just remembering how he felt was enough to answer yes. He wished someone would have said something to him.
He almost smiled, but didn't feel it appropriate. "Its not so bad.." he knew that was a lie, and opted she should have the truth. "Or so everyone will say. But both you and I know what the feelings are..." he paused, searching for the best words. He was never any good at comforting others... that was more Qui-Gon's talent. "almost worse than that feeling that you've failed" that was the best he could do.
It seemed to hit its mark though, he could feel she understood what he was getting at.
The wind picked up for a moment and blew the hair out and about her heart shaped face... it made her seem a bit older than he knew she must be.
"You haven't failed..." It was all he could give her... he hoped for a bit more. But he didn't know her. In a way he did, at least he knew what she was going though.
She thanked him curtly and turned starting toward the ship. He could feel a tense pull from her as she walked away. His mind raced to find something else to help. Some reason he didn't feel as if he had done a good job if he didn't help her feel a bit better. The memory of his hopelessness still burned fresh in his mind.
"hey" he didn't even know what he was to say as she paused and turned around once more.
what would Qui-Gon say... but nothing came. Suddenly he knew, it was what he would have wished someone to speak to him... that fateful day he left the Temple feeling he was a complete failure.
"Keep your chin up... your a Jedi, always remember that" Then he turned quickly, hoping he hadn't made her feel worse and head for the inner temple.
"Hey!.." he stopped and turn to face her again. Sun was streaming from where he stood and it hurt his eyes. But he did not look away.
"Yes?"
"Thank you.." the words were so faint, but they rang clear to him. He couldn't help the full smile that broke across his lips. He took in this girl for a bit longer, feeling as if he maybe had done something correct for once... on his own. He winked and turned down the stairs... his own footsteps echoing in his ears.
He had reached halfway to there quarters before he slowed down. The pain in his wrists had been forgotten, the aching in his back not remembered till now.
He stopped in front of there familiar quarters door. Just standing, staring at the closed door.
"You winked at her, what was that?" he asked himself, groaning and smacking his forehead. What a hopeless putz he must have seemed... And his shoulders slumped, he hadn't even gotten her name. He really was a putz, but the smile he held didn't leave his face. Not after Master Qui-Gon returned. Not after he treated his cuts and even as he complained about his "pathetic lifeforms" always attacking him... and how it must be a conspiracy.
He smiled all the way till he finally close is eyes that night, and sleep.
Shay hated long tense silences. It always made him feel as if he should say something. But the woman across from him did not look as if she was in the mood for animated conversation.
It wasn't often that he got to spend alone time with Jandra, his and her duties came first. Not that he had a problem with it or anything. But it was nice after-all to be in her presence. It would have been nicer, but he tension seem to resonate on to him. Her feelings and even thoughts had been reaching him more often now.
A sign of their growing bond. And to speak the truth of the matter, he quite liked it.
To his luck that night he had a bit of off time. It happened that Jandra was free also. Yet there hadn't been much of any type of interaction tonight.
Usually they had long drawn out conversations, or even a friendly debate on some subject. She was exceedingly quite tonight though.
And he knew exactly why.
Chapter 2
"Tap, Tap, Tap, Tap..." His slender fingers were the only sound above the thick silence in the room. He really did not like these types of moments. He was always at a loss of what to do or say.
Finally the silence became to much, this was ridiculous. "Jandra..."
"I did the right thing Shay" She shook a finger in the air at him, but he knew not even she was convinced. Her chewing on her nail was an indication.
His arms crossed over his broad chest and he sat back, definitely not convinced.
"I am not ready for a new Padawan. It was for the best."
His only answer was a not quite convincing nod. "I mean, well I don't know what I mean." Sliding back in her own chair, she slid her hands over her face. "I promised myself I would not do this."
Quiet for a moment more, he wondered if he should intervene.
"Perhaps you did let her go for the best. I mean you are an adult, and you were looking out for her best interest" He stood, his arms still crossed in front of him. Jandra only follow him with her eyes as he pace.
"I'm sure she will find her way. She seems intelligent, resourceful, and very talented." He sat back in his own chair, linking his fingers together.
"Your right, what have I done?" she stood and reach for her saber. Shay already had her cloak in hand, and was placing it on her shoulders. He keep a firm grip on them to show his support.
She nodded once more, "I can do this..."
"Yes you can, I believe in you. And I know she will to." He encircled his arms around her shoulders in a gentle hug. Placing a kiss on her neck.
He felt her take a deep cleaning breath, and so he let go. She was out the door within seconds, it hissing shut behind her.
Again Shay took up a seat, his comlink in his hand. "Malik, its Shay. Can I ask a favor of you?" The voice came over clearly.
"Sure, What can I do you for?" He couldn't help but smile, that young Pilot was always so eager to help. "Jandra's gone to ask the young girl."
"That's great, so she finally decided"
"Yes. But she may be a bit late. Can you see it that she gets there?"
"Sure, No problem" and with that, the link was closed. He sat deeper, his expression turning from humor to thought.
He hoped that the Force was with them both.
She wasn't going to make it. Even if her body kept moving, her mind would scream she wouldn't make it. The ship was just to far away.
Even with a being trained in force use. It had taken far too long to find where the girl was in the first place.
To her horror, they pushed up her departure to this afternoon. It was intended for tomorrow. No one had informed her.
But of course no one informed you Jandra, you refused to take her She again remind herself.
In the course of sprinting back in the direction of the platform, she pulled her comlink. "Malik, I need a favor" she begun in haste.
"Hello to you to" she could tell he was smiling.
"Malik..." She had no time to joke at the moment.
"I know Jahn, Shay contacted me already. Ships ready to go case you need me."
She sighed heavily in relief, Force thank that man. "Thanks Malik"
If there were luck with her, she would reach the ship just in time. Taking the steps quickly and just as she had thought, the ship hadn't left yet.
She ascend the ramp, as it was already closing. It shut behind her and to her relief... She made it.
Field Healing had been one of her favorite subjects. She knew it, all the good grades proved so. But for the life of her, Lei-Lana Cuspa could not concentrate.
With one hand draped over the side of the chair, stroking Sunil's soft hair. The other turn page after page of words that promised to be highly informative, and entertaining. Or at least it could be, if she was at all interested in that right now.
That lack of interest, and attention is most likely what caused her to nick her finger. She did not often work with books made of paper, so it was always surprising how painful paper-cuts could be. She stare at her finger, the tiny cut turning red with a tiny trickle of blood.
"You should clean that..." the soft voice startled her. She look up in shocked surprise and watch as Jedi Healer Jandra Mishnari stood beside her. She knew her markings must be glowing furiously... almost as much as her eyes.
She couldn't believe it, she was here. She hadn't realize she was staring, and so out of respect she jump up. Sunil sat up, his tail swinging happily.
"May I?" was all she asked, pointing to the seat next to Lei-Lana's. Lei-Lana nodded watching as the Corelian Healer took the seat. And continued even after she was sitting.
"Please sit Padawan..." She did, quickly. Her eyes still on the woman beside her.
"Lei-Lana, I want to start out by apologizing to you. I have not been fair, or truthful. See, my first padawan... turned." She paused, looking at the girl to assure her attention was still all there. It was, she was staring with her wide glowing blue eyes.
"I blamed myself for many years, and had not taken another padawan since. I was fearful of the same thing happening. I let my fear consume me, and I almost let it effect your future. I know in my heart it was intended for me to meet you. I know it because the Force means it to be so, and I know you knew it to."
Finally she look back at Lei-Lana, whom was still staring and fully attentive. "Do you understand what I'm saying?" She wait for a moment, wondering if she had confused the girl.
"Did you call me padawan?" was the only girls answer. Soft and full of amazement, almost as much as her illuminated eyes.
Jandra laughed, loud and clear. This was going to work. She knew now more than ever. This girl would become a Jedi, and not just a Jedi... a healer. A talented one at that.
She lean over and hug the girl, still laughing. "I'm assuming that's a yes. Lei-Lana, will you be my Padawan?" The girls smile was so wide, it wasn't possible that the answer was a no.
"Well then Padawan, what do you say I take you and your pet home?"
First she make a call to the council, to inform them of her decision... and that she would be taking the girl off the ship. Then a short call to Malik to inform him they were ready to go. She walk to the head of the ship to inform the pilot of the boarding vessel. He was on board within minutes.
"You watch out for this one sweetie, she's all trouble" Lei-Lana held back a giggle, and eyes her new Master to see if the Pilots playfulness was alright. Jandra smiled and nodded, the girl already seemed to seek her authority.
"Don't tell her Malik, you'll give her bad ideas." She pick up the two other books when the ships hull was shaken violently. One fell, but she caught it without effort.
All look up in confusion, a moment later the ship was shaken again. They were being attacked. She drop the books on the bed, and one hand on the hilt of her saber as she exit the room.
"We're barely pass Abregado-rae, what could possibly be happening?" Malik's hand was to his belt. Lei-Lana at there heals, and Sunil follow obediently. He was excited and frightened, and he stick as close to her leg as possible.
Those who were near the hatch were scattering. The pilots and crew on the other hand were gathering. Soon the Jedi stood beside the captain. It was eerily silent for many moments, even Sunil kept ghostly quiet.
A series of rhythmical pounding echo though the corridors. Each person turning their heads to perhaps hear better where it was coming from. The two elder Jedi had their sabers in hand, it took Lei-Lana but another second to repeat the movement. She took her place beside her Master and Malik.
Something was coming.
DISCLAIMER: Each new complex planet, each new hidden plot....All those Fine Jedi Padawans...George Lucas owns the lot. And I promise to put them back where I found them when im finished. I obviously dont make any money off of this, or id be living in LA with my new man Orlando Bloom (drools).